Having to put one of your friends to sleep
Discussion
Our beautiful Staffordshire bull terrier Katie has been diagnosed with an aggressive tumor which has started to block the airways in her nose and is now affecting her breathing.
We had the results of a ct scan and endoscopy today which were performed on Monday,she had a bit of a nose bleed and we had no idea it was this bad so it is a massive shock,she is only 8 years old.
Other than being a bit down which I assume is down to the med's we are giving her she seems fine,eating walking etc.
Now I know the day is very near when she has to leave us but we are torn between cutting off her life while she is seemingly ok and leaving it till she is in obvious pain,we now how stoic staffie's are so this makes it more difficult.
An added complication is that her sister Lilly is going to have to live without her and I sense that Katy's death is going to affect her dreadfully.
We feel that as the ones to have to make the decision it will affect us quite badly but we have no choice on the matter.
I do not want to drag up sad memories but how have those among you with dogs from the same litter dealt with this?
All replies are welcome,as you can imagine I am not at my strongest at the moment,we lost our eldest son in 2007 and after that I thought I could deal with losing a mere pet relatively easily,how wrong I was,they truly are family members.
We had the results of a ct scan and endoscopy today which were performed on Monday,she had a bit of a nose bleed and we had no idea it was this bad so it is a massive shock,she is only 8 years old.
Other than being a bit down which I assume is down to the med's we are giving her she seems fine,eating walking etc.
Now I know the day is very near when she has to leave us but we are torn between cutting off her life while she is seemingly ok and leaving it till she is in obvious pain,we now how stoic staffie's are so this makes it more difficult.
An added complication is that her sister Lilly is going to have to live without her and I sense that Katy's death is going to affect her dreadfully.
We feel that as the ones to have to make the decision it will affect us quite badly but we have no choice on the matter.
I do not want to drag up sad memories but how have those among you with dogs from the same litter dealt with this?
All replies are welcome,as you can imagine I am not at my strongest at the moment,we lost our eldest son in 2007 and after that I thought I could deal with losing a mere pet relatively easily,how wrong I was,they truly are family members.
SERIOUS advice. Sorry for the brutal truth.
Get the vet to give a sleep injection (like for an op).. the dog will go to sleep without any pain. Once you have said farewell, the fatal injection can be given without any knowledge for the dog.
You really don't want to watch what happens when a live dog is given the fatal injection when it is awake. (Been there)
Costs more, but the best money you'll ever spend.
:0(
Get the vet to give a sleep injection (like for an op).. the dog will go to sleep without any pain. Once you have said farewell, the fatal injection can be given without any knowledge for the dog.
You really don't want to watch what happens when a live dog is given the fatal injection when it is awake. (Been there)
Costs more, but the best money you'll ever spend.
:0(
It's heart breaking, I found out in 2016 that both my pit bull terrier and my miniature pincher had cancer. I had to let the pit bull go pretty quickly as his cancer was aggressive. I lost the min pin last April which was tough. They were both rescues and both really special. The min pin was a real personality. He gave them hell to the end.
You'll know when it's time.
Here's a video when around the time I found Billy (the pit bull). He had no chance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP3OfB2UiSo
I don't know any vet that would not give a dog a sedative before putting them to sleep but it could happen if you're not in the room so please consider being there to say goodbye.
You'll know when it's time.
Here's a video when around the time I found Billy (the pit bull). He had no chance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP3OfB2UiSo
I don't know any vet that would not give a dog a sedative before putting them to sleep but it could happen if you're not in the room so please consider being there to say goodbye.
GetCarter said:
SERIOUS advice. Sorry for the brutal truth.
Get the vet to give a sleep injection (like for an op).. the dog will go to sleep without any pain. Once you have said farewell, the fatal injection can be given without any knowledge for the dog.
You really don't want to watch what happens when a live dog is given the fatal injection when it is awake. (Been there)
Costs more, but the best money you'll ever spend.
:0(
We have rescue Dogs so they come a bit older too us and we have had to do this 4 times in the last decade or so.Get the vet to give a sleep injection (like for an op).. the dog will go to sleep without any pain. Once you have said farewell, the fatal injection can be given without any knowledge for the dog.
You really don't want to watch what happens when a live dog is given the fatal injection when it is awake. (Been there)
Costs more, but the best money you'll ever spend.
:0(
This is the way to go it relaxes the Dog and you can hold them in your arms and stroke them as they pass away peacefully.
None of us want this to happen but its just a fact of life for Dogs.
Every day ask the dog if they want to go. At some stage they will tell you yes. Not literally obviously but there is a look and then you know the time is right.
As for the actual part, we always get the vet to come to our house so they are in their own surroundings etc and more relaxed. They also of course get fed as many treats as we can. I also have never known any vet to not give the relaxation drugs before stopping the heart.
And I am so sorry you are going through this it really is the hardest part of pet ownership and such a difficult time. We have all been there and know and share your pain.
As for the actual part, we always get the vet to come to our house so they are in their own surroundings etc and more relaxed. They also of course get fed as many treats as we can. I also have never known any vet to not give the relaxation drugs before stopping the heart.
And I am so sorry you are going through this it really is the hardest part of pet ownership and such a difficult time. We have all been there and know and share your pain.
That story has made me well up.
Only you will know when it is the right time. Try as hard as we may, we don’t always get this right.
Let her sister see and sniff her after she has been put to sleep. The way it was explained to me was that the dog that remains will pine unless they know their sibling has gone
Good luck
Only you will know when it is the right time. Try as hard as we may, we don’t always get this right.
Let her sister see and sniff her after she has been put to sleep. The way it was explained to me was that the dog that remains will pine unless they know their sibling has gone
Good luck
Better a week too early than a day too late.....
Based on my experience, however, in cases like this, you will always question your decision. You'll wonder whether you should have given them longer, or whether you should have let them go sooner. Sadly that's the guilt that comes with the joy of owning a pet
I'll be thinking of you all.
Based on my experience, however, in cases like this, you will always question your decision. You'll wonder whether you should have given them longer, or whether you should have let them go sooner. Sadly that's the guilt that comes with the joy of owning a pet
I'll be thinking of you all.
Triumph,
Am just coming out of it myself...see the thread about George
a few observations
1) the 'pre med' is absolutely fantastic,it puts them right out and the end injection is not felt, old George's breathing got shallower and slower, he went very very peacefully
2) Yes the dog WILL let you know, AND you WILL know there is no mistaking it It is said they have a much higher pain threshold than humans and they give you a 'pissed off with life' look. It is the nearest to an animal pleading with you to help George did on Sunday with a very audible 'f
k this for a lark' sigh Henry was the same
3) the guys on here will help you through it I can vouch for that. Never have i felt so much love and affection from complete strangers
4) if you can get her cremated separately do it. and keep her ashes The feeling of them being back with you really eases the pain. Again see my thread about George with his two predecessors
5) and post whenever you want, we have all been there It is PH at its very finest
6) try and stay strong but, there is no shame in letting it all come out. Think of the good times, and the love you got without any terms laid down.
7) We are all with you wherever we are
Am just coming out of it myself...see the thread about George
a few observations
1) the 'pre med' is absolutely fantastic,it puts them right out and the end injection is not felt, old George's breathing got shallower and slower, he went very very peacefully
2) Yes the dog WILL let you know, AND you WILL know there is no mistaking it It is said they have a much higher pain threshold than humans and they give you a 'pissed off with life' look. It is the nearest to an animal pleading with you to help George did on Sunday with a very audible 'f
k this for a lark' sigh Henry was the same 3) the guys on here will help you through it I can vouch for that. Never have i felt so much love and affection from complete strangers
4) if you can get her cremated separately do it. and keep her ashes The feeling of them being back with you really eases the pain. Again see my thread about George with his two predecessors
5) and post whenever you want, we have all been there It is PH at its very finest
6) try and stay strong but, there is no shame in letting it all come out. Think of the good times, and the love you got without any terms laid down.
7) We are all with you wherever we are
Edited by silverfoxcc on Wednesday 31st October 19:20
Very sorry to hear this news. It's a bl@@dy awful decision to have to make.
We had to say goodbye to our Tibetan terrier few weeks ago & it hurts really badly, especially as the morning of the deed she was eating, drinking & out for a walk. It's completely normal & expected to feel guilt as well as grief but a good vet will tell you it's the right decision.
We were there (3rd time now) & it's peaceful & gentle. I chickened out with our first & regretted the fact that he didnt have my strokes & voice at the end.The vet will warn you there CAN be small nerve twitches, but it's never happened to us. Sorry to be blunt, but you've no need to worry about bladder/bowel accidents either. I had no idea what to expect, first time I attended & made sure I asked.
I echo the sentiment above : it's far, far better to be early than late. All dogs will hide illnesses for self preservation in the pack & they can't tell you how bad it is.
Good luck, best wishes & sincerest condolences.
CF
We had to say goodbye to our Tibetan terrier few weeks ago & it hurts really badly, especially as the morning of the deed she was eating, drinking & out for a walk. It's completely normal & expected to feel guilt as well as grief but a good vet will tell you it's the right decision.
We were there (3rd time now) & it's peaceful & gentle. I chickened out with our first & regretted the fact that he didnt have my strokes & voice at the end.The vet will warn you there CAN be small nerve twitches, but it's never happened to us. Sorry to be blunt, but you've no need to worry about bladder/bowel accidents either. I had no idea what to expect, first time I attended & made sure I asked.
I echo the sentiment above : it's far, far better to be early than late. All dogs will hide illnesses for self preservation in the pack & they can't tell you how bad it is.
Good luck, best wishes & sincerest condolences.
CF
Had to see the local vet earlier,the referral vet had contacted him and we had a conversation about Katy's condition.
He agreed that she would at least be in a state of discomfort due to the size of the tumor and we have decided to put her to sleep on Friday afternoon.
We shall be present and he has said all we will see is her dropping off to sleep for the last time,he also agreed about Lilly being with us,it will help her hopefully.
Talk about being punched in the stomach and I know it still has not fully hit home yet.
Thank you for all the replies,I used to wonder how people could spend so much money on their dogs,but it's not till you are in that position that you see why.
I sincerely hope people can keep giving to this as I know now how often this has happened before to folk's.
Katy is the one on the right with the stripe.This was taken two years ago.
Once again thank you for the replies,it is much appreciated.
He agreed that she would at least be in a state of discomfort due to the size of the tumor and we have decided to put her to sleep on Friday afternoon.
We shall be present and he has said all we will see is her dropping off to sleep for the last time,he also agreed about Lilly being with us,it will help her hopefully.
Talk about being punched in the stomach and I know it still has not fully hit home yet.
Thank you for all the replies,I used to wonder how people could spend so much money on their dogs,but it's not till you are in that position that you see why.
I sincerely hope people can keep giving to this as I know now how often this has happened before to folk's.
Katy is the one on the right with the stripe.This was taken two years ago.
Once again thank you for the replies,it is much appreciated.
As I pet owner ( all be it cats ) making the decision is an awful thing to have to do , we all secretly know what is best but don’t want to accept it !
I had to make the decision to have one of ours put to sleep she was only 3 years old (cancer) then had to decide weather to tell my parents or tell them when they got home from their holiday ( I was obviously younger and still at their home then )
I see you made decision now ,As cliche as it sounds try to remember all the good times and it gets easier the first couple of weeks are the worse but it gets easier and people in the pets threads understand so if you need to vent /post etc then Please do as this on top of your son passing is a horrible situation to be in .
Again I’m so sorry
I had to make the decision to have one of ours put to sleep she was only 3 years old (cancer) then had to decide weather to tell my parents or tell them when they got home from their holiday ( I was obviously younger and still at their home then )
I see you made decision now ,As cliche as it sounds try to remember all the good times and it gets easier the first couple of weeks are the worse but it gets easier and people in the pets threads understand so if you need to vent /post etc then Please do as this on top of your son passing is a horrible situation to be in .
Again I’m so sorry
Just over 18mths ago I had to make the decision to let my working cocker go, it was made slightly easier as he got much worse in a very short space of time & letting him go was the fair choice, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do though.
Good luck with making the decision, regardless of when you decide the time is right, it will hurt.
I'm sure the sibling will be Ok, you'll be there to support each other.
Please share whatever you need to on here, many of us have been there & know what you're going through.
Good luck with making the decision, regardless of when you decide the time is right, it will hurt.
I'm sure the sibling will be Ok, you'll be there to support each other.
Please share whatever you need to on here, many of us have been there & know what you're going through.
Op, I’m so sorry to hear your news. Cancer is, quite frankly, an effing effer and can do one as far as I am concerned.
We lost Autumn in June, and it was, quite frankly, horrific. She also had cancer but we had absolutely no idea until she was having what we expected to be a routine check up. Sadly she never made it home as it turned out that she had aggressive cancer around her liver. She had internal bleeding and was anaemic, so there was only one choice I could make. It was still the hardest one Ive ever had to make, but it was absolutely the right one as I couldn’t make her suffer - she didn’t deserve that.
She’s a gorgeous girl, and you will absolutely miss her. However you need also to hold on to the fact that you have also made absolutely the right decision for her - the vet has confirmed as much to you.
You have my absolute sympathies, and now I need to go to a less dusty room as I seem to have something in my eye.
We lost Autumn in June, and it was, quite frankly, horrific. She also had cancer but we had absolutely no idea until she was having what we expected to be a routine check up. Sadly she never made it home as it turned out that she had aggressive cancer around her liver. She had internal bleeding and was anaemic, so there was only one choice I could make. It was still the hardest one Ive ever had to make, but it was absolutely the right one as I couldn’t make her suffer - she didn’t deserve that.
She’s a gorgeous girl, and you will absolutely miss her. However you need also to hold on to the fact that you have also made absolutely the right decision for her - the vet has confirmed as much to you.
You have my absolute sympathies, and now I need to go to a less dusty room as I seem to have something in my eye.
Triumph,
I still cannot get over the fact that i have never seen a sarcastic, pisstaking,ya boo, pedantic and all the other nastiness that seems to pervade some of the forums on PH on this particular thread
The love that is given at times of need and stress is incalculable to the help it gives and reassurance that thing will and do get better for us left behind
May it long continue.
I still cannot get over the fact that i have never seen a sarcastic, pisstaking,ya boo, pedantic and all the other nastiness that seems to pervade some of the forums on PH on this particular thread
The love that is given at times of need and stress is incalculable to the help it gives and reassurance that thing will and do get better for us left behind
May it long continue.
Every time I see a thread with a title like this one, I know that I'm going to be teary-eyed if I read it. And yet I still read every single one, because this place was the one place I turned to when I had my cat Geldof PTS due to cancer over three years ago now. I feel it's the least I can do to share someone else's pain, even if I don't always post, because I remember how kind people were to me when I went through it.
I still cry about that every now and then. It gets easier, but it's never easy. It's the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, and every time I look back and wonder if I made a mistake I remember the "better a day too soon than a moment too late" quote which is absolutely correct, and then I know I did the right thing.
The only thing I regret is that I allowed the vet to pick up my cat to be taken to be cremated whilst I watched. The last image I had of her was her lifeless body being carried away, and I wish upon all wishes that I'd simply turned my back after she went to sleep and left the room. I will carry that image in my head to my last days, and I will never ever make that mistake again. I'm genuinely sorry if that is awful reading for you at this time, but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy so please be careful of what your last memory of Katie is.
FWIW Geldof's brother is still with us, now 15, and I believe it took him a good two years to get over the loss of his sister. All pets are different though, and like people some will cope better than others. OP, you have my sympathies at this awful time, and I will be thinking of you and your family on Friday.
I still cry about that every now and then. It gets easier, but it's never easy. It's the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, and every time I look back and wonder if I made a mistake I remember the "better a day too soon than a moment too late" quote which is absolutely correct, and then I know I did the right thing.
The only thing I regret is that I allowed the vet to pick up my cat to be taken to be cremated whilst I watched. The last image I had of her was her lifeless body being carried away, and I wish upon all wishes that I'd simply turned my back after she went to sleep and left the room. I will carry that image in my head to my last days, and I will never ever make that mistake again. I'm genuinely sorry if that is awful reading for you at this time, but I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy so please be careful of what your last memory of Katie is.
FWIW Geldof's brother is still with us, now 15, and I believe it took him a good two years to get over the loss of his sister. All pets are different though, and like people some will cope better than others. OP, you have my sympathies at this awful time, and I will be thinking of you and your family on Friday.
Sadly There's been a few of these threads lately, they all make bloody hard reading and my sympathies go out to all affected. The pic further up the thread of both of them is lovely.
At some point in the future I will have my own thread like this, my Jack russel is 15 and fortunately in famous health at the moment but i do wonder how long our luck can last. Christ knows how I'm going to react when I lose him, complete carnage I expect.
My thoughts to the OP and anyone else dealing with similar hard times.
At some point in the future I will have my own thread like this, my Jack russel is 15 and fortunately in famous health at the moment but i do wonder how long our luck can last. Christ knows how I'm going to react when I lose him, complete carnage I expect.
My thoughts to the OP and anyone else dealing with similar hard times.
I've had it pretty bad for pets recently.
'15 We lost our old dog, was years coming, the old guy was half blind & doped up on painkillers for the last 6 months or so. Decided he was going when his back legs began to go. Was long expected and felt right when he went, he lived a good life.
'17 We lost the younger dog. 7 years old, took her to the vets with a slight limp, after a suspicious x ray they ran some tests, got the phone call out of the blue she had ~10days, extremely aggresive bone cancer all over her body. Booked her in to get put to sleep, 2 days before she was scheduled to go she had a tumour rupture in her stomach, very messy way to go, probably one of the most traumatic pets I've had go as it was all so sudden and dramatic. Vet went above and beyond, came out, did the deed & took the body, and had his assistant help with the cleanup.
A few weeks ago I lost my cat to the road outside my house, she hadn't been about for a couple of days, she was known to wonder so I wasn't really worried about her as much as my other half was. So came as a shock when my other half came in in tears to say she has found her body next to the road at the other side of the neighbourhood.
So, gone from 2 dogs and 2 cats to 1 cat.
'15 We lost our old dog, was years coming, the old guy was half blind & doped up on painkillers for the last 6 months or so. Decided he was going when his back legs began to go. Was long expected and felt right when he went, he lived a good life.
'17 We lost the younger dog. 7 years old, took her to the vets with a slight limp, after a suspicious x ray they ran some tests, got the phone call out of the blue she had ~10days, extremely aggresive bone cancer all over her body. Booked her in to get put to sleep, 2 days before she was scheduled to go she had a tumour rupture in her stomach, very messy way to go, probably one of the most traumatic pets I've had go as it was all so sudden and dramatic. Vet went above and beyond, came out, did the deed & took the body, and had his assistant help with the cleanup.
A few weeks ago I lost my cat to the road outside my house, she hadn't been about for a couple of days, she was known to wonder so I wasn't really worried about her as much as my other half was. So came as a shock when my other half came in in tears to say she has found her body next to the road at the other side of the neighbourhood.
So, gone from 2 dogs and 2 cats to 1 cat.
silverfoxcc said:
Triumph,
I still cannot get over the fact that i have never seen a sarcastic, pisstaking,ya boo, pedantic and all the other nastiness that seems to pervade some of the forums on PH on this particular thread
The love that is given at times of need and stress is incalculable to the help it gives and reassurance that thing will and do get better for us left behind
May it long continue.
Hear, hear. I'll raise a glass on friday evening Triumph & suspect I won't be alone. Have one yourself. Things will get better. It will take time & you will worry that it isn't happening but there's no set timetable, or "right way". The happy memories of a fit, bouncy, lively rascal will come back. I still cannot get over the fact that i have never seen a sarcastic, pisstaking,ya boo, pedantic and all the other nastiness that seems to pervade some of the forums on PH on this particular thread
The love that is given at times of need and stress is incalculable to the help it gives and reassurance that thing will and do get better for us left behind
May it long continue.
CF
We had to make the horrible decision in January this year, it's still very fresh in my mind and very hard when there's constant reminders such as this week when I hear fireworks going off and fully expect to hear barking afterwards.
The best bit of advice I can give is to discuss everything with your vet now, as when the time comes your head will be a mess.
We arranged with our vet to come out and put our dog to sleep at home, it was basically just like watching our wee dog fall into a deep sleep on his favourite blanket - the vet administered a sedative first and left us 10 minutes with him before administering the second injection. I've been in the vet practice when people have walked in with a pet and left in tears without, and we didn't want that for him or us.
We also arranged for a private cremation through the vets which meant we got his ashes back.
It's always going to be difficult, you just have to do your best for your pet given the circumstances.
The best bit of advice I can give is to discuss everything with your vet now, as when the time comes your head will be a mess.
We arranged with our vet to come out and put our dog to sleep at home, it was basically just like watching our wee dog fall into a deep sleep on his favourite blanket - the vet administered a sedative first and left us 10 minutes with him before administering the second injection. I've been in the vet practice when people have walked in with a pet and left in tears without, and we didn't want that for him or us.
We also arranged for a private cremation through the vets which meant we got his ashes back.
It's always going to be difficult, you just have to do your best for your pet given the circumstances.
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