Flat/Housesharing as a 'grown-up' ?
Discussion
[Ramble alert]
I find myself in an interesting situation.
Been to university, got the T-shirt etc, and like many ended up back at the parental units. Last year my aim was to get a 'proper' job - I managed to properly finish my education and get myself a proper 'career' job in a relevant industry. I am (justifiably, I think) pleased as punch with my self.
Now I feel like I should be starting a new chapter as it were - but I cannot do this while still living at my parents house.
I dont earn a lot, (at all really, I am in a 'junior' position to begin with), but I really feel like I need to be out. I'm too old to be living here, and feel like I've outgrown the immediate area. Having lived away for 4 years, to be back in this house for the past year is really grating on me.
I am happy to rent. I do not expect to own my own house without a lot more hard work and earning. I do not see it as money down the drain - the gains to be had are not material things - I want my freedom back. The amount I've spent on rent while at Uni would pay for a very flash car but I wouldnt swap the experiences and friends I've made for anything else.
I have a number of friends of similar age - all of whom have only ever lived at home. We have discussed getting somewhere together a number of times. They all earn way more than me, and have shown an interest in moving out together, but they have life so cushy with 'mum' they cannot possibly see how spunking £000's of pounds a month on rent can possibly make sense. Fair enough, I guess you wouldnt, without experiencing it. But I cant see this changing - I think really they will just jump from their parents, to settled in with a partner and kids. Which is fine, but not what I want to do.
Although I have SWMBO of a few years I am very, very much not ready for 'settling down' and feel like the next few years will should be the last for a very long time when I can really enjoy myself, good job, young enough to bounce, plenty fit and healthy etc. Time to do all the things I have promised myself, have some holidays, buy a TVR or a 911.
Thus leaving me with one option.
So - what its like to house-share as a proper, working, grown up Adult (Term used loosely!).
Getting thrown into a student flat with 5 other equally pissed up 19yr olds was the best thing that ever happened to me, but of course it will be different this time round. I'm not looking to be a student again - something different.
Should I really contemplate moving in with some strangers? My optimistic side says I would get my freedom back, it would allow me to properly begin the rest of my life, and I might even make some great friends in the process?
How on earth would I go about doing this?
I find myself in an interesting situation.
Been to university, got the T-shirt etc, and like many ended up back at the parental units. Last year my aim was to get a 'proper' job - I managed to properly finish my education and get myself a proper 'career' job in a relevant industry. I am (justifiably, I think) pleased as punch with my self.
Now I feel like I should be starting a new chapter as it were - but I cannot do this while still living at my parents house.
I dont earn a lot, (at all really, I am in a 'junior' position to begin with), but I really feel like I need to be out. I'm too old to be living here, and feel like I've outgrown the immediate area. Having lived away for 4 years, to be back in this house for the past year is really grating on me.
I am happy to rent. I do not expect to own my own house without a lot more hard work and earning. I do not see it as money down the drain - the gains to be had are not material things - I want my freedom back. The amount I've spent on rent while at Uni would pay for a very flash car but I wouldnt swap the experiences and friends I've made for anything else.
I have a number of friends of similar age - all of whom have only ever lived at home. We have discussed getting somewhere together a number of times. They all earn way more than me, and have shown an interest in moving out together, but they have life so cushy with 'mum' they cannot possibly see how spunking £000's of pounds a month on rent can possibly make sense. Fair enough, I guess you wouldnt, without experiencing it. But I cant see this changing - I think really they will just jump from their parents, to settled in with a partner and kids. Which is fine, but not what I want to do.
Although I have SWMBO of a few years I am very, very much not ready for 'settling down' and feel like the next few years will should be the last for a very long time when I can really enjoy myself, good job, young enough to bounce, plenty fit and healthy etc. Time to do all the things I have promised myself, have some holidays, buy a TVR or a 911.
Thus leaving me with one option.
So - what its like to house-share as a proper, working, grown up Adult (Term used loosely!).
Getting thrown into a student flat with 5 other equally pissed up 19yr olds was the best thing that ever happened to me, but of course it will be different this time round. I'm not looking to be a student again - something different.
Should I really contemplate moving in with some strangers? My optimistic side says I would get my freedom back, it would allow me to properly begin the rest of my life, and I might even make some great friends in the process?
How on earth would I go about doing this?
Plenty of shared houses for young professionals about, I did it for a couple of years and it was great. Ready made social life, always some company about, cheap rent. Obvious downsides are potentially rubbish housemates but if you can choose then find people who have shared before and you should be fine.
Just be cautious moving in with a stranger, when I got back from my last trip I needed somewhere to live near new work quickly.
I found a woman who although was a little eccentric seemed nice enough.
I stayed 2 months before doing a runner in the night, absolutely rinsed me having to stump up for a deposit, first months rent etc etc. I didn't even own my own plates! Luckily my new landlord & lady are a really kind elderly couple and loaned me some stuff.
The woman was such a nutter, I thought I was a wino but blimey she was putting some away everyday, sleeping on the sofa everynight, leaving drunk rambly abusive letters out for me, letting her 16 yo daughter smoke pot in the house... stressed me out so much I was quite ill.
Chose carefully and you'll have a great time!
I found a woman who although was a little eccentric seemed nice enough.
I stayed 2 months before doing a runner in the night, absolutely rinsed me having to stump up for a deposit, first months rent etc etc. I didn't even own my own plates! Luckily my new landlord & lady are a really kind elderly couple and loaned me some stuff.
The woman was such a nutter, I thought I was a wino but blimey she was putting some away everyday, sleeping on the sofa everynight, leaving drunk rambly abusive letters out for me, letting her 16 yo daughter smoke pot in the house... stressed me out so much I was quite ill.
Chose carefully and you'll have a great time!
If you can get good flatmates then it's OK, but the chances of getting good flatmates are about 100 to 1 against. Still, if you don't mind people eating your cornflakes, shagging their g/f in your bed and leaving unflushed toilets blocked with newspaper becuase they've run out of toilet paper, go for it!
snotrag said:
I'm not looking to be a student again - something different.
Should I really contemplate moving in with some strangers? My optimistic side says I would get my freedom back, it would allow me to properly begin the rest of my life, and I might even make some great friends in the process?
I'm probably stating the obvious, but if you don't want to share with The Young Ones, perhaps you should look for adverts that state 'tidy, considerate, housemate .. professionals only .. no students' etc. There are certainly plenty of those in the bit of London (SW) that i reside. Quite a few of my friends (late 20s / early 30s) are house-sharing at the moment (having sold up for various reasons, but do not want to piss away £100s per week on rent). Actually, I did sort of snigger at their plight at first, but having met their housemates (female, cough) they seem like decent professional people who don't live in their own trash.Should I really contemplate moving in with some strangers? My optimistic side says I would get my freedom back, it would allow me to properly begin the rest of my life, and I might even make some great friends in the process?
Thank you.
I guess it is rather obvious from your replies that people have had very different experiences!
I am guessing it comes down to being very, very careful and thorough when finding somewhere.
I am sat idly looking at Gumtree Leeds and there seem to be a few that are 'live in landlords types - I guess living with the person who actually owns the house is likely to mean it is well kept and respected...?
What other websites could I use?
I guess it is rather obvious from your replies that people have had very different experiences!
I am guessing it comes down to being very, very careful and thorough when finding somewhere.
I am sat idly looking at Gumtree Leeds and there seem to be a few that are 'live in landlords types - I guess living with the person who actually owns the house is likely to mean it is well kept and respected...?
What other websites could I use?
Rach* said:
Just be cautious moving in with a stranger, when I got back from my last trip I needed somewhere to live near new work quickly.
I found a woman who although was a little eccentric seemed nice enough.
I stayed 2 months before doing a runner in the night, absolutely rinsed me having to stump up for a deposit, first months rent etc etc. I didn't even own my own plates! Luckily my new landlord & lady are a really kind elderly couple and loaned me some stuff.
The woman was such a nutter, I thought I was a wino but blimey she was putting some away everyday, sleeping on the sofa everynight, leaving drunk rambly abusive letters out for me, letting her 16 yo daughter smoke pot in the house... stressed me out so much I was quite ill.
Chose carefully and you'll have a great time!
Blimey! It sounds like you were living with Marsha from Spaced!!I found a woman who although was a little eccentric seemed nice enough.
I stayed 2 months before doing a runner in the night, absolutely rinsed me having to stump up for a deposit, first months rent etc etc. I didn't even own my own plates! Luckily my new landlord & lady are a really kind elderly couple and loaned me some stuff.
The woman was such a nutter, I thought I was a wino but blimey she was putting some away everyday, sleeping on the sofa everynight, leaving drunk rambly abusive letters out for me, letting her 16 yo daughter smoke pot in the house... stressed me out so much I was quite ill.
Chose carefully and you'll have a great time!
Was in a similar position but a 100 mile round trip commute means that it made sense for me to move into my own place. I really couldn't face living with house mates again as I hated it as a student, and was willing to sacrifice holidays flashy car etc for my own place. I eventually found a gorgeous village (out of town is cheaper) and a tiny house to rent, just one bedroom and a living kitchen, but it is my own space and that's what's important to me.
However I was surprised to discover its not much more than the rents charged for shared houses in the centre of town!
However I was surprised to discover its not much more than the rents charged for shared houses in the centre of town!
If you live with a live-in landlord, it will always be 'their place that you just rent'. They can pull rank on you at any time - tidy this, do that, don't play music etc.etc.
If you are all renters then no rank exists, you jsut have to give&take to get along.
I'd much rather be in with a bunch of renters than a live in landlord, unless I knew the landlord well.
Good luck!
If you are all renters then no rank exists, you jsut have to give&take to get along.
I'd much rather be in with a bunch of renters than a live in landlord, unless I knew the landlord well.
Good luck!
I would say the following:
1. Whilst it's a no-brainer, the person you share with should be someone you know and trust.
2. Set the ground rules early - e.g. what happens if one loses their job and can't pay the mortgage? What if one meets a girl and has them move in too?
3. Would everything be 50/50? Deposit? Bills?
4. How would you tackle eventually selling the property and to who's timetable?
To be honest, it's probably the only way to get on the property ladder, but tread with caution as it could be a disaster with the wrong partner.
PS I assumed you want to buy with someone rather than rent - but maybe this is not the case....
1. Whilst it's a no-brainer, the person you share with should be someone you know and trust.
2. Set the ground rules early - e.g. what happens if one loses their job and can't pay the mortgage? What if one meets a girl and has them move in too?
3. Would everything be 50/50? Deposit? Bills?
4. How would you tackle eventually selling the property and to who's timetable?
To be honest, it's probably the only way to get on the property ladder, but tread with caution as it could be a disaster with the wrong partner.
PS I assumed you want to buy with someone rather than rent - but maybe this is not the case....
Edited by NDA on Saturday 2nd January 17:05
I lived at home through Uni (mistake, but thats a different story) and moved out into a house-share with 1 mate and 2 others. There are a loads of benefits since we all got on together really well (we'd regularly cook together, watch movies, go on bike rides, people to talk too...) and it was great. I'm back with parents now but thats because I have no job security and am saving up to go travelling this year.
The main thing I learned was to try and find people with a similar work patterns. I'm a normal 8-7 guy but with others starting at 7, finishing late, shift work etc it meant that the house was always busy and it was very difficult to have any peace and quiet. Similarly, with one lad working shifts / weekends etc it meant that he would regularly party until early morning on weeknights.
Make sure you have a high tolerance for things that annoy you and don't expect anyone to be thoughtful - the lad in teh room next to me would slam doors, stomp down stairs etc at 0630 and then complain if anyone made noise after 10pm. People would play singstar all the fecking time meaning all you got was horrendous renditions of s
t songs screamed out loud.
Expect to pay mega bills - with increased wages come more toys (consoles, PC's, laptops...) and as such electricity bills for me were huge.
Make sure there is more than one toilet / shower in the house!
Employ a cleaner - £20 a month each is nothing to ensure you have a clean kitchen / toilet / living room / halls etc.
Don't live with a young landlord / lodge with someone - mostly they resent having to rent the room out to meet their morgage commitments and don't want you living with them! Similarly, having lived with a landlord in the past it was very much a case of "it's my house, get out of the kitchen I'm cooking now" type of feeling (and he was great landlord).
Some friends live in a house together and there is resentment that some don't pay concil tax, everyone pays the same rent yet has different sized rooms...
Having said that, for the most part living with others is great fun and although I'd be very careful on who I lived with, I'd not think twice about doing it!
The main thing I learned was to try and find people with a similar work patterns. I'm a normal 8-7 guy but with others starting at 7, finishing late, shift work etc it meant that the house was always busy and it was very difficult to have any peace and quiet. Similarly, with one lad working shifts / weekends etc it meant that he would regularly party until early morning on weeknights.
Make sure you have a high tolerance for things that annoy you and don't expect anyone to be thoughtful - the lad in teh room next to me would slam doors, stomp down stairs etc at 0630 and then complain if anyone made noise after 10pm. People would play singstar all the fecking time meaning all you got was horrendous renditions of s
t songs screamed out loud.Expect to pay mega bills - with increased wages come more toys (consoles, PC's, laptops...) and as such electricity bills for me were huge.
Make sure there is more than one toilet / shower in the house!
Employ a cleaner - £20 a month each is nothing to ensure you have a clean kitchen / toilet / living room / halls etc.
Don't live with a young landlord / lodge with someone - mostly they resent having to rent the room out to meet their morgage commitments and don't want you living with them! Similarly, having lived with a landlord in the past it was very much a case of "it's my house, get out of the kitchen I'm cooking now" type of feeling (and he was great landlord).
Some friends live in a house together and there is resentment that some don't pay concil tax, everyone pays the same rent yet has different sized rooms...
Having said that, for the most part living with others is great fun and although I'd be very careful on who I lived with, I'd not think twice about doing it!
Edited by American iv on Saturday 2nd January 17:07
Done a few variations on the theme - moved in with 3 mates in a large house in Reading when I was 23 ish - stayed there for 4 years. The first 2 years were great, the 2nd two were not - primarily because 2 guys moved out and other friends moved in (mutual friends I mean, no one was strangers). But the dynamic changed and things went downhill.
Was generally good fun though.
After that I bought a flat and loved living on my own for a year or so, and then got a bit bored. So another friend of mine moved in as my lodger. It went great until she got off her tits on prozac and wine and we ended up in bed together
(I'd always had a bit of a thing for her). To be fair, that fked the friendship, rather than particularly the living arrangements though.
I've rented a couple of flats in Edinburgh on my own, but for the last year I've been flatsharing with a live-in landlady and it's been great. She doesn't pull rank as someone above mentioned, and we get on fine. Plus it's a fair bit cheaper.
I guess the point is, living with one other person needn't be a chore at all - there's usually enough space for both people. Whereas sharing in a student-esque scenario usually feels a bit more crowded, even if the house is larger. The former's a lot more easy to get on with, as long as your landlord/lady isn't a mentalist of course.
Was generally good fun though.
After that I bought a flat and loved living on my own for a year or so, and then got a bit bored. So another friend of mine moved in as my lodger. It went great until she got off her tits on prozac and wine and we ended up in bed together
(I'd always had a bit of a thing for her). To be fair, that fked the friendship, rather than particularly the living arrangements though.I've rented a couple of flats in Edinburgh on my own, but for the last year I've been flatsharing with a live-in landlady and it's been great. She doesn't pull rank as someone above mentioned, and we get on fine. Plus it's a fair bit cheaper.
I guess the point is, living with one other person needn't be a chore at all - there's usually enough space for both people. Whereas sharing in a student-esque scenario usually feels a bit more crowded, even if the house is larger. The former's a lot more easy to get on with, as long as your landlord/lady isn't a mentalist of course.
Tend to be 3 ways it works.
1. Landlord lets out individual rooms to tenants they've picked. Advantage is you're not responsible for the whole house, but on the downside you don't know who you'll be sharing with. My girlfiend house shared like this in several different places and it always seemed a bit odd to me as you end up with a housefull of strangers who didn't tend to socialise much.
2. Group of you rent a place between you. I did this for a lot of years, myself and a bloke at work found a third bod and rented between us. As others have said you get a ready made social life and I already knew one of my housemates before we started. On the downside some landlords don't like sharers so can be a bit harder to find, and you're responsible for the whole place, ie when one bod left it was up to the remaining 2 to pay the full rent unless we got a third person in. That said we never had a problem, we worked for a fairly large organisation and always managed to find someone internally, had about 9 or 10 different housemates over a period of about 10 years and 3 different houses (with only about a month of 2 of us covering the rent), still good mates with most of them, and recently discovered the last house I was in is still going on the same system 4 years after I moved out.
3. Live in landlord. Some house owners let a room to a lodger who's really a stranger (bit like 1), but some are more like proper houses shares, except one of the housemates owns the place.
My other tip for renting, if you can find a deal where you're renting off the landlord it's usually far better than renting of an agency, it's a shade cheaper (no agency fees) and the landlord cares about the place so if you have any issues they'll usually fix it a hell of a lot quicker than an agency.
1. Landlord lets out individual rooms to tenants they've picked. Advantage is you're not responsible for the whole house, but on the downside you don't know who you'll be sharing with. My girlfiend house shared like this in several different places and it always seemed a bit odd to me as you end up with a housefull of strangers who didn't tend to socialise much.
2. Group of you rent a place between you. I did this for a lot of years, myself and a bloke at work found a third bod and rented between us. As others have said you get a ready made social life and I already knew one of my housemates before we started. On the downside some landlords don't like sharers so can be a bit harder to find, and you're responsible for the whole place, ie when one bod left it was up to the remaining 2 to pay the full rent unless we got a third person in. That said we never had a problem, we worked for a fairly large organisation and always managed to find someone internally, had about 9 or 10 different housemates over a period of about 10 years and 3 different houses (with only about a month of 2 of us covering the rent), still good mates with most of them, and recently discovered the last house I was in is still going on the same system 4 years after I moved out.
3. Live in landlord. Some house owners let a room to a lodger who's really a stranger (bit like 1), but some are more like proper houses shares, except one of the housemates owns the place.
My other tip for renting, if you can find a deal where you're renting off the landlord it's usually far better than renting of an agency, it's a shade cheaper (no agency fees) and the landlord cares about the place so if you have any issues they'll usually fix it a hell of a lot quicker than an agency.
Edited by RizzoTheRat on Saturday 2nd January 17:25
NDA said:
To be honest, it's probably the only way to get on the property ladder, but tread with caution as it could be a disaster with the wrong partner.
PS I assumed you want to buy with someone rather than rent - but maybe this is not the case....
NDA - your right - I'm asking about renting.PS I assumed you want to buy with someone rather than rent - but maybe this is not the case....
Ideally - yes, I would look to buy with someone - however the 'dragging of heels' of the people I have considered it with means I'm getting frustrated and want out.
I'm lucky that because I've always paid a decent amount of board/rent to my parents when I've been there, they are willing to lend me a hand with a deposit when it comes to a mortgage. This might be in a couple of years yet though.
Killer2005 said:
Whereabouts have you been looking in Leeds? Thinking this may be a way for me to go
I'm quite open really, anywhere within what you might call the Leeds area. I work in Beeston so its easily accessible by car or bus from pretty much anywhere in Leeds. However I did work in Chapel Allerton for a couple of years, and am quite fond of it - a lot of the areas in the North of Leeds are more like the places I would like to be for a few years - respectable, good pubs and shops, not far from the city centre etc, and all in all just generally a bit nicer than East of Leeds where I live.Its obvious that the areas with more places to rent tend to be those with the older, larger houses, hence lots of North Leeds, where-as out Eastwards towards Garforth where I live, Crossgates, Colton, etc etc most homes are modern and owned by families, and as such not many places are let-out.
ETA I believe we've crossed paths a few times at various times but I've never said Hello... maybe we should next time theres something on (In the least stalkerish, non-rapey way I mean of course!).
Edited by snotrag on Saturday 2nd January 17:56
It can work, but it really needs the 'right' personalities...
I'm soon to be 30, flat mates are 32, 36 and 29. None of us knew each other before moving in. One of them has been here 4 years and then it's me for a year and the others moved in over the last 6 months. Current setup is ideal, 2 boys, 2 girls, we all work 9-5s, all get on fine, cook dinner regularly for each other and all that kind of stuff. None of us are neat freaks but none of us want to live like students. Its a pretty happy little setup. I think for all of us if we could afford it, we'd move out and buy but right now that just isn't an option.
But then previously I lived a with a group who all had their different views on what was clean, tidy, acceptable behaviour at 2am on a 'school night' etc. T'was hell to be honest!
I guess there's a bit of luck invovled and spending a bit of time meeting ALL the flatmates before moving in.
I'm soon to be 30, flat mates are 32, 36 and 29. None of us knew each other before moving in. One of them has been here 4 years and then it's me for a year and the others moved in over the last 6 months. Current setup is ideal, 2 boys, 2 girls, we all work 9-5s, all get on fine, cook dinner regularly for each other and all that kind of stuff. None of us are neat freaks but none of us want to live like students. Its a pretty happy little setup. I think for all of us if we could afford it, we'd move out and buy but right now that just isn't an option.
But then previously I lived a with a group who all had their different views on what was clean, tidy, acceptable behaviour at 2am on a 'school night' etc. T'was hell to be honest!
I guess there's a bit of luck invovled and spending a bit of time meeting ALL the flatmates before moving in.
ocrx8 said:
www.spareroom.co.uk is the best one I've used 
why the wink?! That's how i found my current place
snotrag said:
NDA said:
To be honest, it's probably the only way to get on the property ladder, but tread with caution as it could be a disaster with the wrong partner.
PS I assumed you want to buy with someone rather than rent - but maybe this is not the case....
NDA - your right - I'm asking about renting.PS I assumed you want to buy with someone rather than rent - but maybe this is not the case....
Ideally - yes, I would look to buy with someone - however the 'dragging of heels' of the people I have considered it with means I'm getting frustrated and want out.
I'm lucky that because I've always paid a decent amount of board/rent to my parents when I've been there, they are willing to lend me a hand with a deposit when it comes to a mortgage. This might be in a couple of years yet though.
Killer2005 said:
Whereabouts have you been looking in Leeds? Thinking this may be a way for me to go
I'm quite open really, anywhere within what you might call the Leeds area. I work in Beeston so its easily accessible by car or bus from pretty much anywhere in Leeds. However I did work in Chapel Allerton for a couple of years, and am quite fond of it - a lot of the areas in the North of Leeds are more like the places I would like to be for a few years - respectable, good pubs and shops, not far from the city centre etc, and all in all just generally a bit nicer than East of Leeds where I live.Its obvious that the areas with more places to rent tend to be those with the older, larger houses, hence lots of North Leeds, where-as out Eastwards towards Garforth where I live, Crossgates, Colton, etc etc most homes are modern and owned by families, and as such not many places are let-out.
ETA I believe we've crossed paths a few times at various times but I've never said Hello... maybe we should next time theres something on (In the least stalkerish, non-rapey way I mean of course!).
Edited by snotrag on Saturday 2nd January 17:56
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