I need advice!
Discussion
My folks are on Holiday for a few weeks & I've been left in charge of everything while they’re away, including my younger brother (he's 22 I'm 27). Inevitably we are having a party (we always do when they're away) we always have a burn supper and due to previous successes, numbers have swelled to 24! Fortunately we've managed to accommodate all by converting my old man's full size snooker table which we've covered with tarpaulins to protect against spillage then sheets of heavy duty ply for a surface & couple of king size sheets for table cloth. All is looking well & chances of damage minimised, however, thinking the dining room & table were being wasted this year I though they could be put to use as a gaming room, I dug out my chips and cloth & set about transforming the room tonight. The cloth was a little creased & I decided to iron it (on the back of course to prevent damaging the markings) imagine my horror when I turned it over and noticed that I could see exactly where the iron had been along the creases, not on the cloth but on the table (the iron may have been too hot), in hindsight I should either have used an ironing board or left the table protector mat on (having removed it immediately prior) I thought about just covering it up again and hoping I'll get away with it but on closer inspection the markings on the cloth that I was trying to protect have in fact protected the table leaving a rather cloudy smudge with the mirror of "Texas Holdem" clear and unmarked for all to see.
This is not a cheap table so - Do I keep trying to polish it out (I've tried for quite a while but am convinced I can still se it) or do I take out the iron again and "Damage" the previously "protected" area of table, (I'm going with it being the middle of the table when it is finally discovered, it will be assumed something hot was put down there, I will have full deniability given my party was in another room)
I have a fortnight to decide
This is not a cheap table so - Do I keep trying to polish it out (I've tried for quite a while but am convinced I can still se it) or do I take out the iron again and "Damage" the previously "protected" area of table, (I'm going with it being the middle of the table when it is finally discovered, it will be assumed something hot was put down there, I will have full deniability given my party was in another room)
I have a fortnight to decide
I'm not sure he's old enough to get the reference?
Kermit power said:
Take a pic of the table and post it...
If you're thinking it "might" still be visible and you know it's there, anyone else is surely unlikely to spot it?
If you're thinking it "might" still be visible and you know it's there, anyone else is surely unlikely to spot it?
What the froggy fella said.
Is it a varnished old table with years of tender loving care having been lavished upon it its' whole life?
Is any of the stain lifting as you polish it?
Is there nail polish remover in the house, if so, try a tiny amount on the least conspicuous place, and have a damp cloth nearby to wipe it immediately.
Failing that, try vodka.
It'll help with that sinking feeling you'll have when you know you're never going to be left alone in the house again, and the knowledge that you'll pay for any restoration job that may be needed and you'll never hear the end of it.
I know, I crashed my mothers' car in '96 and I still get grief every once in a while. I'm riddled with guilt
mr brightside said:
reminds me of the time my brother and i had a party when our olds were away. I came downstairs the following afternoon to find that someone had unscrewed the front door and nicked it. 
Sorry, not much help.
As you were..
Sorry, not much help.
As you were..
Had something similar at a mate's house when we were about 17. The clear-up involved getting my Dad round the following morning (a BH Monday) to help us reglaze the front door, cutting 30+ fag burns out of the lounge carpet and washing, drying and ironing the entire contents of a wardrobe after someone let off a seriously shaken can of Carlsberg Export inside it. We got the whole place spotless. His parents got back, his Mum walked into the kitchen, noticed the two slightly less faded carpet tiles we'd had to replace to get rid of fag burns... "Right.. What the hell happened!"
How do Mothers do that?
I suggest you take all the advice of city traders, bankers, taxi drivers, students, small business owners etc on PH, to use lighter fluid, Mr Sheen, vegetable oil, WMD, goats semen and then roll it with brown paper soaked it lard and cranberry juice.
You are going to catch it big time. Let us know how you get on.
If you have a valid passport pawn the table and the rest of the stuff that belongs to your parents. Take the dosh and get out of the country before they get back. Take a photograph so you can remember what they looked like.
Plastic surgery in Bolivia may be an option. Then take public transport to Chile (They don't extradite) and have a nice life.
The other option is come clean and tell your folks when they get back. Ha ha ha ha. Like hell I would.
Plastic surgery in Bolivia may be an option. Then take public transport to Chile (They don't extradite) and have a nice life.
The other option is come clean and tell your folks when they get back. Ha ha ha ha. Like hell I would.
steviebee said:
Try liquid lighter fuel but try on a hidden area first and don't try to do it all in one go. Use cotton wool too.
Alternatively, post your address, time and alcohol requirements and the Pistonheads guys will be round to lend a hand!!
Alternatively, post your address, time and alcohol requirements and the Pistonheads guys will be round to lend a hand!!
Make sure you get the lighter fluid right across the table before you light it though, otherwise you'll get an uneven final result.
The picture isn't that clear & I can't figure out how to post the damned thing anyway.
I will have to consult my younger (more responsible) brother to see if he can see it.
Might wash the table to remove the Mr Sheen then try the nail polish remover, someones cautionary remark about trusting the advice on here reminded me of the time we listened to the advice of the guy who came to tile a bathroom on how to clean the balls on the snooker table
"Use vinegar" he said and they did come up fantasticly shiny but when washing off the excess we learned not to use fairy, as acid/alkaline mixed made them permenantly cloudy "New Balls Please"
I will have to consult my younger (more responsible) brother to see if he can see it.
Might wash the table to remove the Mr Sheen then try the nail polish remover, someones cautionary remark about trusting the advice on here reminded me of the time we listened to the advice of the guy who came to tile a bathroom on how to clean the balls on the snooker table
"Use vinegar" he said and they did come up fantasticly shiny but when washing off the excess we learned not to use fairy, as acid/alkaline mixed made them permenantly cloudy "New Balls Please"
grass widow said:
We are never going on holiday and leaving our kids at home on their own. 
Surely it is a right of passage, and a way of you 'testing' your kids ingenuity, social skills, and honesty?
I trashed my parents house loads of times, I am the eldest so I got away with it.
I once had around 50 people around for a NYE including a DJ. Without asking. I just let them turn up and my dad started letting people in, decided there was nothing he could do about it and got smashed, pretending to be pissed off and taking all the minors drinks.
As for the table - the help of some other adults is useful, if you have a neighbour or mates parent, there godd at this. You will owe them for EVER though.
What is the finish on the table?? If it is higly polished - do NOT use nail varnish remover!!!! It does what it says on the tin! removes the varnish, and you will end up with a cloudy mark on the table.
Is it one of those dining tables that comes apart for another leaf to be added?? If so, take the bit to a local restorer (or ring them) for advice!
You could always try beeswax polish?
Is it one of those dining tables that comes apart for another leaf to be added?? If so, take the bit to a local restorer (or ring them) for advice!
You could always try beeswax polish?
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