HMRC Jeeeeeeeeeeesus Christ!!!

[fatboy b]

I got the letter through a few months back to pay my corporation tax. It says that if I can, to pay electronically. A guy at work said that he set up a direct debit once for his, and they took it twice! So I opted for the single payment. I set up a payee in the online account, and sent it last week. It bounced back yesterday - rejected. I called the bank, and they said it was due to incorrect sort code, yet it's exactly what it said on the fking payment slip.

Tried calling them yesterday afternoon - fking engaged, fking engaged, fking engaged.

Just got through to the number at the top of my letter to see what they've done. I asked if they were busy, as they've always been engaged. "Oh, we're not a call-centre". So why publish the fking number at the top of a letter on which you gave me the wrong fking info on your fkwits. "We're short of staff becasse of the cutbacks, if you want to speak to a manager, then I'll put you through"

Well have a nice slooooow fking cheque for your fking trouble you bunch of s.

[Disastrous]

fatboy b said:

I got the letter through a few months back to pay my corporation tax. It says that if I can, to pay electronically. A guy at work said that he set up a direct debit once for his, and they took it twice! So I opted for the single payment. I set up a payee in the online account, and sent it last week. It bounced back yesterday - rejected. I called the bank, and they said it was due to incorrect sort code, yet it's exactly what it said on the fking payment slip.

Tried calling them yesterday afternoon - fking engaged, fking engaged, fking engaged.

Just got through to the number at the top of my letter to see what they've done. I asked if they were busy, as they've always been engaged. "Oh, we're not a call-centre". So why publish the fking number at the top of a letter on which you gave me the wrong fking info on your fkwits. "We're short of staff becasse of the cutbacks, if you want to speak to a manager, then I'll put you through"

Well have a nice slooooow fking cheque for your fking trouble you bunch of s.

Going through just the same at the moment. Can't get hold of a person for love nor money.

[hornetrider]

That the office in Cumbernauld? Nightmare eh, took me 63 retries to get through on Monday - but once I was through they were very helpful and sorted my issue immediately (I paid this years Corp tax with last years reference number).

[cal72]

Although the over use of the F-word, it was a nice and may i say pleasant rant.

8/10.

[GTIR]

I paid mine at billpayment/hmrc, it's on their paperwork.

Is that what you used op?

[theironduke]

Just done my Self Assessment online and must admit it was veyr painless....took abot an hour and i paid with a debit card, sorted. Granted i am a humble sole trader earning pennies and not a director of a multi-billion pound company as per PH rules...

[sleep envy]

doogz said:

i paid mine 6 weeks ago

this

[hornetrider]

sleep envy said:

doogz said:

i paid mine 6 weeks ago

this

No-one likes a smug

[MadMullah]

ditto

almost like they dont want my money

[fatboy b]

GTIR said:

I paid mine at billpayment/hmrc, it's on their paperwork.

Is that what you used op?

Just created an online payee with the A/N S/C & my reference on it. Bank said that the sort code is not one they recognise for HMRC.

[Deva Link]

fatboy b said:

"We're short of staff becasse of the cutbacks, if you want to speak to a manager, then I'll put you through"

That's an epic thing to say!

My missus is a Civil Servant (but won't be ina few weeks time) and some of the cutbacks going on are so severe that some departments can't function.

I reckon they'll outsource all this stuff and whoever wins the contracts will send the work to India. Then we'll have fun, discussing Corporation Tax with an Indian call-centre.

[sleep envy]

doogz said:

sleep envy said:

doogz said:

i paid mine 6 weeks ago

this

Mine was due at the end of December though.

you still paid it early

why leave it 5 days before it's due and them moan when there's a problem?

[slomax]

I'm going to rate this a 6/10. Simple reason is because every swear word used, apart from the last one, was fk (or some variation of the word). Also, your story telling ability needs to be refined. There was no introduction, middle or end, just a constant stream of information, no anticipation or "setting the scene". If you would like some good examples then look at Harry Flashmans or Cara Van Mans older posts, they are very good at telling tales of woe and frustration.

Hope this helps.
Slo




ETA- Some of the stories in the "dating nightmares" thread are very well written too.

Edited by slomax on Wednesday 26th January 15:11

[Kentish]

doogz said:

Unlucky, i had no problems when i paid mine 6 weeks ago. Quick phone call to my bank, gave them the SC and AC, and it was done 2 days later.

Just had a problem with my self assessment right enough, had to over-pay by £700, to make the paperwork match what their stupid systems say it should, and i'll now have to chase up a refund for the over-payment.

How absurd - that kind of paper based tick box bullsh!!t really drives me mad!

[Kentish]

slomax said:

I'm going to rate this a 6/10. Simple reason is because every swear word used, apart from the last one, was fk (or some variation of the word). Also, your story telling ability needs to be refined. There was no introduction, middle or end, just a constant stream of information, no anticipation or "setting the scene". If you would like some good examples then look at Harry Flashmans or Cara Van Mans older posts, they are very good at telling tales of woe and frustration.

Hope this helps.
Slo




ETA- Some of the stories in the "dating nightmares" thread are very well written too.

Edited by slomax on Wednesday 26th January 15:11

You thoughful bastid!

[GTIR]

fatboy b said:

GTIR said:

I paid mine at billpayment/hmrc, it's on their paperwork.

Is that what you used op?

Just created an online payee with the A/N S/C & my reference on it. Bank said that the sort code is not one they recognise for HMRC.

I couldn't register on the hmrc site directly as I think my accountant has already set up an account using my ref number.

[sleep envy]

doogz said:

Because 5 days should be more than adequate to sort it, it's hardly the OP's fault. Do you pay your car insurance 5 days in advance? Or your mortgage? Or any other bills? Or do you just pay them when they're due?

5 days is enough when the large majority of tax returns are due within 5 days too?

you can't compare the mortage but my insurance policies are sorted a good while before the current policies expire

it would be pretty lax of me to leave my financial affairs to the last minute when I ensure that those of my clients are dealt with in good time

it's not as if these things are sprung on you at the last minute

[Gun]

So are they phasing out those pay slip that you rip off and take to the bank?

[sleep envy]

doogz said:

Yes, if his tax is due on the 31st, he should be able to pay it on the 31st. 5 days in advance should be plenty, he's not having issues because HMRC are busy, it's because they're useless.

And yes, you may organise new insurance policies before the old one expires, but i'd imagine, like the rest of us, you don't pay the premium until it's due. In much the same way the OP's CT Return will have been filled out months ago, but he hasn't paid it yet, since it wasn't due.

What is it that you have an issue with, in this thread?

last question first

fatboy b said:

I got the letter through a few months back to pay my corporation tax.

he's known about it for several weeks yet he left it until the last week to sort it out - we're all grown up enough to look after our affairs so it's not worth bleating about how things don't work when everyone knows HMRC are a total shower

doogz said:

it's because they're useless.

I doubt it's the first time he's had to deal with them so it shouldn't be any surprise, as you well know yourself

[RobM77]

The HMRC are generally terrible to deal with to be honest. Their letters and forms are very difficult to understand, the website is absolutely awful (even something simple like Self Assessment has 90% of the page area dedicated to useless trivia, and just the tiniest of hyperlinks on the right hand side somewhere linking you through to the payment screens (which are a lesson in how not to create an HCI...). They seem to have no consistency at all in how they name their forms or the processes they use to fill them in and collect money. Oh, and if you phone them to ask they either don't know the answer, or you're on hold for about an hour before the line just goes dead. So you try the web instead, and find that even the simplest question, like "what dates is my Self Assessment for?", is either extremely hard to find or not on the website at all.

If, after all this, you're a day late with your payment, or perhaps forget a payment because the system's so bloody complicated and you haven't got a clue what you're supposed to do, they fine you, but the way they do it just makes my wee boil - if the fine is a standard fixed fee, they'll slap it on you the day after the payment's due and tell you what payment you've forgotten, but if the fine is calculated per month past the deadline, they'll wait three months before then telling you you've forgotten whatever it is, and then issue a fine for being three months late, when they clearly knew all along that they hadn't received the payment and could have just charged you one month's fine the day after as they do with everything else.

And finally, if you're doing something wrong (probably because the whole damm system is just too complex to understand), and they finally realise years down the line, apparently they can backdate their fines and charges by seven years!

I don't mind (begrudgingly!) paying all this tax if I have to, and I do honestly want to avoid hassle by paying it on time, but the HMRC are just a complete shambles - rubbish website, confusing rules, impossible to get hold of, and often simply unfair.

Apologies for the lack of swearing in that rant