Estate Planning
Discussion
Can you help?
My father spoke to me this weekend about making sure when he passed that it was easy for my brother and I to manage his estate/affairs.
He has created a will, and I am aware of some of his assets My brother and I are on the house as part owners.
Is it as simple as getting my dad to do a list? If it is , is there a template you recommend?
I then need to work with my dad to help him complete(he isn't very thorough) any tips?
Thank you
My father spoke to me this weekend about making sure when he passed that it was easy for my brother and I to manage his estate/affairs.
He has created a will, and I am aware of some of his assets My brother and I are on the house as part owners.
Is it as simple as getting my dad to do a list? If it is , is there a template you recommend?
I then need to work with my dad to help him complete(he isn't very thorough) any tips?
Thank you
There are various books like this one that you could fill in with your dad to make the process easier.
Edited by greygoose on Sunday 14th September 09:39
Great start and thank you, have LPAs in place.
Its my dad that has asked for help with it which is good so whilst he has health (82) I am keen to strike when the irons hot.
Book and password sounds a great idea.
Think my challenge is to ensure he does everything thoroughly, not his strong point and when I find mistakes he can get a little excited! Ie a few weeks ago he said he had his Halifax shares from the privatisation, he now thinks they are Lloyds so actually I've no idea.
Its my dad that has asked for help with it which is good so whilst he has health (82) I am keen to strike when the irons hot.
Book and password sounds a great idea.
Think my challenge is to ensure he does everything thoroughly, not his strong point and when I find mistakes he can get a little excited! Ie a few weeks ago he said he had his Halifax shares from the privatisation, he now thinks they are Lloyds so actually I've no idea.
Edited by rugbyleague on Sunday 14th September 10:12
Mr Pointy said:
Make sure he has a list of online usenames & passwords & maybe even get him to start using one of the password managers that allows emergency or family access - Bitwarden can do this.
A list of assets and also passwords can be saved on a piece of paper. The less tech the better IMHO.Simpo Two said:
A list of assets and also passwords can be saved on a piece of paper. The less tech the better IMHO.
Thanks and understandMy worry was by making a list up from scratch by myself may mean I would miss something.
A template would really help and the books look a good idea
rugbyleague said:
My worry was by making a list up from scratch by myself may mean I would miss something.
Gotcha. If he's of sound mind then a quiet sit-down and discussion - a polite interview if you like - would get most of them I should think. Are you talking about material things or '£500 I put in the post office in 1975 but can't find the passbook' things?Simpo Two said:
Gotcha. If he's of sound mind then a quiet sit-down and discussion - a polite interview if you like - would get most of them I should think. Are you talking about material things or '£500 I put in the post office in 1975 but can't find the passbook' things?
Thank you, I think he is of sound mind and he will very much tell me he is and how dare I ask.......I have to tread really carefully because when we had to manage my mums illness and her passing he struggled to organise himself and his wishes but then got quite agitated when me and my brother were trying to help him make important decisions.I think I'm aware of the big stuff, saving plans but outside of these I'm not so sure, and actually I wouldn't be convinced my dad knows either?
In big handfuls I think I need a list and then the ability to check the list to make sure I have captured everything.
I live quite a way from my dad and he does tell me he gets lonely so I'm going to increase my visits and try to do this work with him.
I don't want it to cause us to fall out though, because I know from previous experience I that there will be surprise inclusions and omissions....I have to go really gently and carefully.....
That said if we can get some information it will be better than no information!
Thanks again
Simpo Two said:
A list of assets and also passwords can be saved on a piece of paper. The less tech the better IMHO.
It is very convenient to be able to access online accounts and these days so much is online there may not be a paper trail and so you will never know what you could be missing.Just passwords may not be enough these days as it might be necessary to keep the email account and mobile phone going so that two factor authentication codes can be received and if biometric authentication has been used it won't work.
If possible have yourself added to all the accounts which should be possible using the LPA so that you can login as yourself but be aware that after death has been notified the accounts will be frozen and it will not be possible to access.
Another 82 year old here!
About 3 years ago I realised I that, for my wife and I, I needed to gather ALL relevant information together into one place, but had little idea how to start. I then discovered that many insurance companies’ websites include a document called something like “After I’m Gone”. I reviewed these, and downloaded the one I thought the best, and that’s how I got started.
It did not take long for me to realise that the After I’m Gone that I had was very elementary and short of many items that I felt the need to record to make things as easy as possible for my executors. So, I started to develop my own workbook in which I planned to record EVERYTHING. It took me some while to get it all together: once I started, I soon began to realise how much less obviously useful information was still worth recording. Now the workbook has 12 separate spreadsheets, each one for a different subject. It is very detailed.
From the outset I decided that I would include full details of such items as financial accounts but I would not include actual values nor any passwords as I considered it too dangerous to have these all together. So, these are recorded elsewhere, somewhere known to my executors.
The workbook is not stored on my laptop.
Having a very comprehensive workbook does mean that there’s a need to update it frequently as and when new information arises. I don’t leave the updating for later because the new stuff will accumulate quickly!
BTW, I pass a copy of the latest version of the workbook and financial values to one of our executors on a regular basis.
R.
About 3 years ago I realised I that, for my wife and I, I needed to gather ALL relevant information together into one place, but had little idea how to start. I then discovered that many insurance companies’ websites include a document called something like “After I’m Gone”. I reviewed these, and downloaded the one I thought the best, and that’s how I got started.
It did not take long for me to realise that the After I’m Gone that I had was very elementary and short of many items that I felt the need to record to make things as easy as possible for my executors. So, I started to develop my own workbook in which I planned to record EVERYTHING. It took me some while to get it all together: once I started, I soon began to realise how much less obviously useful information was still worth recording. Now the workbook has 12 separate spreadsheets, each one for a different subject. It is very detailed.
From the outset I decided that I would include full details of such items as financial accounts but I would not include actual values nor any passwords as I considered it too dangerous to have these all together. So, these are recorded elsewhere, somewhere known to my executors.
The workbook is not stored on my laptop.
Having a very comprehensive workbook does mean that there’s a need to update it frequently as and when new information arises. I don’t leave the updating for later because the new stuff will accumulate quickly!
BTW, I pass a copy of the latest version of the workbook and financial values to one of our executors on a regular basis.
R.
You would think that someone would make an app for this procedure.
AI will probably simplify the details in terms of getting account type and login information from you, assuming that security can be guaranteed (unlikely).
Maybe a gov. website should be created for this.
They already know most of the tax and financial stuff anyway.
What's stuffed under the floorboards need not concern them.
AI will probably simplify the details in terms of getting account type and login information from you, assuming that security can be guaranteed (unlikely).
Maybe a gov. website should be created for this.
They already know most of the tax and financial stuff anyway.
What's stuffed under the floorboards need not concern them.
Not only a list of investments, but also information on how to cash them in.
I'm handing the affairs of my mum who died a few weeks ago, I am trustee and beneficiary of a trust she set up years ago. I have the paperwork but didn't realise I had to go into a Government Gateway account and navigate through lots of questions I didn't understand, to finally obtain proof that the trust had been registered. Twas a bit stressful as I didn't know what I was doing, but got there in the end. Taught me to ensure that for any investments I have I need to write down for my son how they must be cashed in.
Oh, and sit down and talk about the family tree if that interests you, and capture any stories he has about his life, and deceased family members, put names to old photos etc.
I'm handing the affairs of my mum who died a few weeks ago, I am trustee and beneficiary of a trust she set up years ago. I have the paperwork but didn't realise I had to go into a Government Gateway account and navigate through lots of questions I didn't understand, to finally obtain proof that the trust had been registered. Twas a bit stressful as I didn't know what I was doing, but got there in the end. Taught me to ensure that for any investments I have I need to write down for my son how they must be cashed in.
Oh, and sit down and talk about the family tree if that interests you, and capture any stories he has about his life, and deceased family members, put names to old photos etc.
Edited by The Gauge on Sunday 14th September 18:06
The Gauge said:
Oh, and sit down and talk about the family tree if that interests you, and capture any stories he has about his life, and deceased family members, put names to old photos etc.
Definitely - because when he's not there any more all that knowledge is gone. My mother had the good foresight to add pencil captions to some veteran family albums and so we know what many people from 100 years ago looked like. I've even been able to work families out. You can't beat Writing Stuff Down.Simpo Two said:
The Gauge said:
Oh, and sit down and talk about the family tree if that interests you, and capture any stories he has about his life, and deceased family members, put names to old photos etc.
Definitely - because when he's not there any more all that knowledge is gone. My mother had the good foresight to add pencil captions to some veteran family albums and so we know what many people from 100 years ago looked like. I've even been able to work families out. You can't beat Writing Stuff Down.Sorry, thread drift.
Edited by The Gauge on Sunday 14th September 22:19
rugbyleague said:
... He has created a will, and I am aware of some of his assets My brother and I are on the house as part owners. ...
If you and your brother own your own homes, does also being part owner of your father's house, mean Capital Gains Tax becomes involved from the date you both became part owners ?
rugbyleague said:
... Ie a few weeks ago he said he had his Halifax shares from the privatisation, he now thinks they are Lloyds so actually I've no idea.
Yes, Halifax changed from being a mutual business to a stock market listed company. When a mutual, the customers were members and therefore all part owners of the business. That is why the customers received shares.
It was not a huge amount by value, so unless your father has added to his original holding, you are talking peanuts.
Lloyds Bank became owners when Halifax discovered they had 'gone off the rails'.
Your father would now be receiving half yearly dividends from Lloyds, paid directly into a bank account, or less likely these days cheques sent by post. Finding a record of those payments will help. The most recent dividend was the 2025 Interim of 1.22 pence per share (15% increase) paid on 9 September 2025. Your father probably has a Halifax share certificate (now obsolete) and a Lloyds Banking Group plc share certificate.
My wife finally persuaded my FIL to at least keep a handwritten list of his various Savings /Investment's after her Mum passed away and we had to assist with Probate etc.
He's not of a generation that ever did anything online so at least no passwords etc to make note of.
He then insisted that she sit with him whilst he went through and explained what each line of note actually meant.
He's not of a generation that ever did anything online so at least no passwords etc to make note of.
He then insisted that she sit with him whilst he went through and explained what each line of note actually meant.
Thankfully my dad has been quite hot on this following the issues and difficulties he has when his dad died.
He has a spreadsheet with all his and my mum's various accounts, with the institutions, account numbers and sort codes. Pensions; the same. He regularly shares it with me when there are changes.
He has a spreadsheet with all his and my mum's various accounts, with the institutions, account numbers and sort codes. Pensions; the same. He regularly shares it with me when there are changes.
Jon39 said:
rugbyleague said:
... He has created a will, and I am aware of some of his assets My brother and I are on the house as part owners. ...
If you and your brother own your own homes, does also being part owner of your father's house, mean Capital Gains Tax becomes involved from the date you both became part owners ?
silentbrown said:
I think so, and there's another can of worms there if your father gifted you a share of his house, but has continued to live there without paying you any rent...
Thanks I worded this badly, My dads house is in trust to my brother and I (its not actually ours)Thanks everyone for all your advice, its been really useful.
I went to see my dad today, when I arrived he had a big pile of stuff out on the desk relating to his estate and he explained again that he was really keen to do a good job of making things easier for my brother and I when the time comes. He explained that he had a nightmare when his mother passed away in Majorca and is very keen we don't experience similar.
We have an estate planning book arriving tomorrow (as identified earlier in the thread) and I also appreciate the extra information around how to draw on the estate, passwords, family trees etc. Dads going to work through it and I will help where I can.
Really appreciate your advice, feel that you have helped us take a big step forward.
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