Man jailed for rape and coercive control
Discussion
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-6...
32 years is a good tough sentence for this scumbag. It's absolutely vile what he put those women through and hopefully sends a message that abusers will be dealth with harshly.
What do women see in blokes like this? Maybe he starts off nice and then changes into Mr Nasty.
32 years is a good tough sentence for this scumbag. It's absolutely vile what he put those women through and hopefully sends a message that abusers will be dealth with harshly.
What do women see in blokes like this? Maybe he starts off nice and then changes into Mr Nasty.
s1962a said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-6...
32 years is a good tough sentence for this scumbag. It's absolutely vile what he put those women through and hopefully sends a message that abusers will be dealth with harshly.
What do women see in blokes like this? Maybe he starts off nice and then changes into Mr Nasty.
It's a sadly well established pattern. 32 years is a good tough sentence for this scumbag. It's absolutely vile what he put those women through and hopefully sends a message that abusers will be dealth with harshly.
What do women see in blokes like this? Maybe he starts off nice and then changes into Mr Nasty.
The relationship starts with the abuser appearing to be the perfect partner, then as the relationship progresses and the victim falls in love and becomes more and more commmitted, the real personality slowly starts to show itself.
They isolate the victim, sabotaging their support network, making the victim highly dependent on the abuser.
They grind down and destory the victims self-esteem and self-belief.
They frequently gaslight the victim, the abuser convincing their victim they are at fault for making the abuser do what they do.
There are usually red flags, but people can be blinded to them by love, lust or simply loneliness.
If the victims knew at the start what they were getting into, they would run a mile.
The question is how do these abusers come to be the way they are, and what can be done to prevent it?
Brave of the victim, not just to come forward, but to waive her anonymity. I would't blame any victim of this sort of thing for wanting to keep their name hidden, but feeling able to go public helps send the message that the victim in these cases has nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of. And says'sod you' to the perpetrator.
As above, a good sentence.
As above, a good sentence.
Superflow said:
Good sentence for this scumbag.
I’ve known men like this before loud and obnoxious no doubt, that a certain type of weak minded woman find attractive normally insecure types with low self esteem.It is a shame but you just cannot tell them and it ends up going badly for them.
I think you have it backwards somewhat. I’ve known men like this before loud and obnoxious no doubt, that a certain type of weak minded woman find attractive normally insecure types with low self esteem.It is a shame but you just cannot tell them and it ends up going badly for them.
Most people find low self-confidence and low self-esteem unattractive. When someone does come along who does show considerable interest, it can be an intoxicating, addictive feeling to someone who does not think much of themselves.
Abusers see insecure people with low self-esteem as easy targets. Easy to seduce and easy to trap. Even at that early point, they have been targetted, and they are already being manipulated.
One of the ladies in HR where I work went through this. Met a bloke through mutual friends at a pub and started seeing each other. One weekend, she was making a roast dinner and he just went mad saying she had put too many potatoes in the pan. They had an argument and he tried to ram her face into the hot oil. Luckily she got away and went to the police but he got her to drop the charges. Then he went on a stag do and came back drunk, beat her up again etc and this time she had him done. He did 12 months and a five year restraining order. When he was released, he started a campaign of either get back with me or your family gets hurt. She agreed to meet him at a friends house. He burst in with an axe and chased her through the front door. She couldn't get the front gate open quick enough so jumped over the fence. Unfortunately she got her leg impaled on a fence spike and he ran up to her and kicked her in the head. He got another 5 years for it which I thought was a bit lenient. She's a really nice person, just a shame she picked an absolute wrong un. She is now helping others going through same experience as she did.
fridaypassion said:
This sort if behavior is up there with being a Pedo to me. Hopefully he'll get some hot sugar water treatment in jail.
So long as he’s not ‘on the numbers’, I’d say that was thankfully a certainty.32 years? That’s a long one !
edited to add;
Having just read the BBC report, I hope there’s a few quid chucked on this guys head as soon as he’s booked in at reception. I can’t imagine many Screws going out of their way to try and protect him.
Edited by 105.4 on Thursday 13th July 22:13
Slowboathome said:
Isn't it a custodial sentence of 24 years with 10 years on licence when he's released?
Which could mean he serves 12 years if he behaves himself in prison?
How I read the article was that this scumbag got a 16 ‘rec’, which means that he’ll have to do at least 16 years before he’ll get a parole hearing. He’s on an indeterminate sentence, not a determinate one, (where he’d serve half).Which could mean he serves 12 years if he behaves himself in prison?
The usual rule of thumb is that you add at least 25% on to your ‘rec’ before any chance of Cat-D, let alone full release.
My guess is that he’ll 22 years behind the door, with another three years in Cat-D before release.
I’d say that was a pretty good result for once, (for his victims).
105.4 said:
How I read the article was that this scumbag got a 16 ‘rec’, which means that he’ll have to do at least 16 years before he’ll get a parole hearing. He’s on an indeterminate sentence, not a determinate one, (where he’d serve half).
The usual rule of thumb is that you add at least 25% on to your ‘rec’ before any chance of Cat-D, let alone full release.
My guess is that he’ll 22 years behind the door, with another three years in Cat-D before release.
I’d say that was a pretty good result for once, (for his victims).
Ok. That makes sense.The usual rule of thumb is that you add at least 25% on to your ‘rec’ before any chance of Cat-D, let alone full release.
My guess is that he’ll 22 years behind the door, with another three years in Cat-D before release.
I’d say that was a pretty good result for once, (for his victims).
Thank you.
105.4 said:
How I read the article was that this scumbag got a 16 ‘rec’, which means that he’ll have to do at least 16 years before he’ll get a parole hearing. He’s on an indeterminate sentence, not a determinate one, (where he’d serve half).
The usual rule of thumb is that you add at least 25% on to your ‘rec’ before any chance of Cat-D, let alone full release.
My guess is that he’ll 22 years behind the door, with another three years in Cat-D before release.
I’d say that was a pretty good result for once, (for his victims).
Seems like he got way more than most get. Feels like 2-5 years is more typical.The usual rule of thumb is that you add at least 25% on to your ‘rec’ before any chance of Cat-D, let alone full release.
My guess is that he’ll 22 years behind the door, with another three years in Cat-D before release.
I’d say that was a pretty good result for once, (for his victims).
I wonder why this guy got the book thrown at him when so many others get away with lenient sentences.
ChocolateFrog said:
Seems like he got way more than most get. Feels like 2-5 years is more typical.
I wonder why this guy got the book thrown at him when so many others get away with lenient sentences.
My guess, (and it is just a guess), is that most rapists tend to commit one rape on one woman, whereas this guy raped several woman dozens of times over many years, plus the physical assaults, plus the abusive and controlling behaviour.I wonder why this guy got the book thrown at him when so many others get away with lenient sentences.
If the information in the BBC article is correct, I reckon that’s a good result that sends out a strong message and should hopefully serve as a good deterrent to other scumbags.
Rivenink said:
The question is how do these abusers come to be the way they are, and what can be done to prevent it?
This is the interesting question. I'm pleased to see the court deal with abuse firmly as it is such a blight on our society. They way couples (and people in general) treat each here is appalling. We even need to tell each other to "be kind" these days (I'm not even joking).
To just vilify and punish people doesn't alway help us understand the cause though. He is a vile person and a risk to the public and so needs to be managed, but what made him this way needs to be understood so we can try to prevent more of his kind in future generations. How did he come to be a scumbag?
I don't have the answers, beyond saying that I strongly suspect that as a child he experienced domestic abuse and that his early life experience will have led to him internalising a model that says "the world is not a safe place, you can't trust anyone". He will be highly manipulative, highly distrustful and highly capable of harming others to meet his own needs. That programming, which I think comes from a poor attachment to his primary carer in the first years of his life, would stick with him until someone address it. For most it's never addressed, partly as they won't be able to see that they are the problem, but also as they won't let anyone get closer enough to truly care for them.
Prison will not change him, but his record will make it easier for others to avoid him in future.
Just a tragedy all round, yet so common in our society.
MikeM6 said:
This is the interesting question.
I'm pleased to see the court deal with abuse firmly as it is such a blight on our society. They way couples (and people in general) treat each here is appalling. We even need to tell each other to "be kind" these days (I'm not even joking).
To just vilify and punish people doesn't alway help us understand the cause though. He is a vile person and a risk to the public and so needs to be managed, but what made him this way needs to be understood so we can try to prevent more of his kind in future generations. How did he come to be a scumbag?
I don't have the answers, beyond saying that I strongly suspect that as a child he experienced domestic abuse and that his early life experience will have led to him internalising a model that says "the world is not a safe place, you can't trust anyone". He will be highly manipulative, highly distrustful and highly capable of harming others to meet his own needs. That programming, which I think comes from a poor attachment to his primary carer in the first years of his life, would stick with him until someone address it. For most it's never addressed, partly as they won't be able to see that they are the problem, but also as they won't let anyone get closer enough to truly care for them.
Prison will not change him, but his record will make it easier for others to avoid him in future.
Just a tragedy all round, yet so common in our society.
I agree with this.I'm pleased to see the court deal with abuse firmly as it is such a blight on our society. They way couples (and people in general) treat each here is appalling. We even need to tell each other to "be kind" these days (I'm not even joking).
To just vilify and punish people doesn't alway help us understand the cause though. He is a vile person and a risk to the public and so needs to be managed, but what made him this way needs to be understood so we can try to prevent more of his kind in future generations. How did he come to be a scumbag?
I don't have the answers, beyond saying that I strongly suspect that as a child he experienced domestic abuse and that his early life experience will have led to him internalising a model that says "the world is not a safe place, you can't trust anyone". He will be highly manipulative, highly distrustful and highly capable of harming others to meet his own needs. That programming, which I think comes from a poor attachment to his primary carer in the first years of his life, would stick with him until someone address it. For most it's never addressed, partly as they won't be able to see that they are the problem, but also as they won't let anyone get closer enough to truly care for them.
Prison will not change him, but his record will make it easier for others to avoid him in future.
Just a tragedy all round, yet so common in our society.
Unfortunately I've come to the view that there simply aren't enough resources (time and money but mainly expertise) to help a lot of badly damaged people who then go on to damage others.
We need a system that coolly and objectively triages people so that the ones who are capable of change get a lot of investment in their rehabilitation.
The ones who aren't capable of reform need to be removed from society at minimal cost.
Rivenink said:
Superflow said:
Good sentence for this scumbag.
I’ve known men like this before loud and obnoxious no doubt, that a certain type of weak minded woman find attractive normally insecure types with low self esteem.It is a shame but you just cannot tell them and it ends up going badly for them.
I think you have it backwards somewhat. I’ve known men like this before loud and obnoxious no doubt, that a certain type of weak minded woman find attractive normally insecure types with low self esteem.It is a shame but you just cannot tell them and it ends up going badly for them.
Most people find low self-confidence and low self-esteem unattractive. When someone does come along who does show considerable interest, it can be an intoxicating, addictive feeling to someone who does not think much of themselves.
Abusers see insecure people with low self-esteem as easy targets. Easy to seduce and easy to trap. Even at that early point, they have been targetted, and they are already being manipulated.
You’ve essentially said the same as I but you have used more words to say it.
Superflow said:
Rivenink said:
Superflow said:
Good sentence for this scumbag.
I’ve known men like this before loud and obnoxious no doubt, that a certain type of weak minded woman find attractive normally insecure types with low self esteem.It is a shame but you just cannot tell them and it ends up going badly for them.
I think you have it backwards somewhat. I’ve known men like this before loud and obnoxious no doubt, that a certain type of weak minded woman find attractive normally insecure types with low self esteem.It is a shame but you just cannot tell them and it ends up going badly for them.
Most people find low self-confidence and low self-esteem unattractive. When someone does come along who does show considerable interest, it can be an intoxicating, addictive feeling to someone who does not think much of themselves.
Abusers see insecure people with low self-esteem as easy targets. Easy to seduce and easy to trap. Even at that early point, they have been targetted, and they are already being manipulated.
You’ve essentially said the same as I but you have used more words to say it.
The truth is closer to some vulnerable people are more likely to be manipulated and coerced by predatory individuals, who are likely to recognise their vulnerability and falsely offer a sense of security and love. Over time the facade slips, but a dependency is already created, making it harder for the victim to see what is happening and escape the abuse.
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