Ch5 my wife and abuser

[stuarthat]

Well she battered him for sure.
Worth a viewing.

[Grumbler]

Watched this and was horrified. I thought the bloke was incredibly strong tolerant and ultimately brave. I’m sure you can absorb an unbelievable amount of abuse if the other option is losing your family, house and reputation. She was a horrible person, truly disturbed by rage and he was naive to ignore the many red flags. But he was a nice, decent guy so he thought the best of her.
It was telling that the investigating officer despite the videos, witness statements and admissions; was still in doubt whether the wife would get a custodial sentence.

[NorthDave]

This was a shocking program. I can't imagine what would have happened if he hadn't recorded stuff. His wife was a very good liar.

Even the detective shed a tear or two.

Well worth a watch.

[elpichichi]

This was a hard watch. Proper harrowing stuff.

[Kamov]

Horrible.
Its bad enough seeing the man get hit, but with the little kids roaming around almost couldn't carry on with it....

Rather sad that it might take something like this for SOME blokes to realise the question isn't just "why didn't they just walk out then?"
Which is what quite a few say about female victims of domestic abuse....

I was in an abusive relationship in my early 20's and she was bloody vile to me and like this guy I never even dreamed about smacking her back, she was worse when she drank so I still to this day have a dislike of partners and my now wife drinking, because it scares me, which is sad.

She also would run off in town or from the flat we had and then rip her clothes and tights etc and say she was raped.....
At the time, living in London and living as an Artist, a bohemian lifestyle before it was commercialised, I'll be honest it just felt like Sid and Nancy to me and i either really thought that or convinced myself of that, or a bit of both....
But looking back it was total nightmare stuff..... worst bit is, I really really fking loved her....

[Pedro25]

What a scary programme to watch, made more scary by the fact she worked in the prison service in a senior position, I was appalled watching it and trying to describe what he went through to my wife didn't even come close, I've set it to record next Monday so we can watch it again. He was a humble broken person at the end and watching him walking around Whitby port and Abbey at the end he just looked frail. Poor guy she'll be due out soon, I'd gladly see her get refused parole.

[nuyorican]

I started watching this but only caught it half way through. Completely disturbing. Did it explain how things had got so bad? Was she always like that? Or was there some kind of trigger? Bereavement? Gradual slide into alcoholism.

[Kamov]

nuyorican said:

I started watching this but only caught it half way through. Completely disturbing. Did it explain how things had got so bad? Was she always like that? Or was there some kind of trigger? Bereavement? Gradual slide into alcoholism.

Childhood abuse I think from the father. Not sexual abuse though.

Same way that women ultimately create bad men by giving birth to them, men can create bad women.....

[N8CYL]

I live 2 doors away, and we had no idea what was happening. Still see him around and his children still go the village school. All the neighbours feel so bad, but we didn't know.

[BunkMoreland]

A friend was in a textbook "Coercive marriage" till she divorced him and kicked him out at short notice with literally nowhere to live! (He moved into a dive of a hotel!)

Now divorced, in a much healthier relationship. He watched it and said it brought back some memories of his ex wifes behaviour.

NEVER
GET
MARRIED

[Kamov]

BunkMoreland said:

A friend was in a textbook "Coercive marriage" till she divorced him and kicked him out at short notice with literally nowhere to live! (He moved into a dive of a hotel!)

Now divorced, in a much healthier relationship. He watched it and said it brought back some memories of his ex wifes behaviour.

NEVER
GET
MARRIED

Well that is an insane thing to say, imagine he wasn't married but had the kids still, so never have kids either?

Mad thing to say. Plenty of people in relationships suffer domestic abuse regardless of marriage, and still struggle to leave for a multitude of reasons, marriage isn't the problem..

[sinbaddio]

I've been here, 15 years of it. And I didn;t want to watch it, but my now wife (absolute diamond) suggested we should.

It was almost identical, young kids, decent career and constant verbal and physical abuse (some of the physical stuff still affects me now).

I was ostracised from the local community as she placed the blame on me. Police were not interested, spent a few nights in cells even tho when the police arrived she was unscathed and I was battered senseless.

I left in the end when my youngest was 5. A year or so later a woman approached me in the local high street and gave me a big hug, claiming that she now knew it wasn't me as the shenanigans still went on even tho I wasn't there.

Hard to watch but gald I did.

[MarkGArgyle]

Wow only just watched this, thankfully not in this situation but my wife was as a child. Truly the most shocking thing I have watched in a long time. A very brave man to come and tell his story to encourage others to speak out.