You know you live in the UAE when...

[Asterix]

Your neighbours move out and all their furniture is covered in animal print material and is gilded.

You can accurately define a nanosecond - it's the time it takes from the lights going green to the car behind beeping.

[6th Gear]

The lazy b*tch ahead of you in the queue at Spinney won't pack her own groceries.

[IanUAE]

Ladies wear the biggest black sunglasses they can find all of the time, driving, shopping, talking, in shopping malls....

[TomV8]

Sounds familiar...in KSA as well!

What about people putting on hazard lights when:

a) weaving in and out of traffic
b) they see a checkpoint (etc - do you have police checkpoints in UAE?!) miles and miles ahead
c) it rains
d) there's a sandstorm, however slight

All whilst maintaining exactly the same crazy speed!

Oh, and blokes flashing you for being in the way when they are overtaking on your side of the road.

[After_Shock]

TomV8 said:

Oh, and blokes flashing you for being in the way when they are overtaking on your side of the road.

Not had that one happen yet, fortunately in Dubai most the roads I use are highways so are split by a nice central reservation!!

[Chessers]

You wonder why the car coming the other way is slowly heading across the road into your lane ............... then you see them texting.

Happens most days in Ranches!

[TomV8]

After_Shock said:

TomV8 said:

Oh, and blokes flashing you for being in the way when they are overtaking on your side of the road.

Not had that one happen yet, fortunately in Dubai most the roads I use are highways so are split by a nice central reservation!!

Mostly it's the case here in KSA as well but there are a few single carriageway roads which have the potential for two lanes of traffic in each directon! Especially dodgy at night!

[6th Gear]

You have forgotten how to fill up your car with petrol.

[After_Shock]

TomV8 said:

Especially dodgy at night!

Yeah id not enjoy that experience, especially in the Tiida hire car!!

[Rich135]

... you get called "MamSir" in every shop you go into.

[e21jason]

You can fill up the car with petrol for the same price as 3 pints

[micawrx]

...you earn twice as much as you did in the UK and still feel a pauper.

[dxbtiger]

micawrx said:

...you earn twice as much as you did in the UK and still feel a pauper.

I feel your pain, my bank account looks in a sorry state after December and I didn't even go away!

[micawrx]

Nightmare first few months, Villa, 2 Cars, Furnishings...

After it settles down a bit I still don't think I'll be able to get a CLK Black

I am using reverse psychology.. No one expects a Pajero V6 to have a good reaction time....so unbeaten to 30kmh!
Also, can slingshot a Gallardo at the speed humps

You know you are in Dubai when you get beeped at for using the kerbside lane if not turning off, as lane 2 and 3 wants to turn off three abreast
(... not that the wife noticed the beep was for her)

[IanUAE]

When a race team write off their SLS GT3 race car chassis and buy another teams spare chassis at the same event and then go on to win the race outright.

[Hitch78]

I heard that this morning. AED1m in spare change anyone?!

[Hitch78]

When you see a car merge onto Umm Suquiem from a side road and understand immediately that they expect to be allowed to drift straight across all three lanes of flowing traffic within about 25m and that it will then be ok for them to stop and block lane 3 because the lane they need to use to exit is blocked with queued traffic which they could see before they commenced their move. Aaaarrggghhh.

I'm leaving the UAE at the end of Feb. Occasionally I question whether we're doing the right thing, then I go for a drive and any doubt is quickly erased!

I used to be able to live with it and laugh it off, but I'm a little more sensitive to the actual danger these total morons present now that we have a wee one in the back. Time to go.

[dxbtiger]

Hitch78 said:

I heard that this morning. AED1m in spare change anyone?!

And the rest!

[VanquishDubai]

.....you know without question that "Yes, Yes, Yes" actually equals "No"
(And the person wasnt listening to an f'ing word you were saying)

[Asterix]

VanquishDubai said:

.....you know without question that "Yes, Yes, Yes" actually equals "No"
(And the person wasnt listening to an f'ing word you were saying)

It's not a "No" so much of a "couldn't care less", often followed by "inshallah" which is the standard get out of doing anything card.