Song About Depression

[The Lukas]

Could I have some feedback for my latest?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wShF-h-3uRE

'Hostage Situation'

Cheers

[Percy Flage]

A bit depressing.

[The Lukas]

It's written because a couple friends of mine get down allot, and it just kind of helped understand a bit better what it feels like.

[Percy Flage]

Is that "get down" like in a black African American way, or "get down" as in feel a bit low from time to time? If the former, perhaps a livelier tune might help?

[The Lukas]

Percy Flage said:

Is that "get down" like in a black African American way, or "get down" as in feel a bit low from time to time? If the former, perhaps a livelier tune might help?

I believe it's more the latter. Both are stuck in situations that look difficult to get out of without affecting close members of their family. One lost his
Mum in an accident 18 months ago and naturally gets pretty downhearted. I'm writing more upbeat stuff too, but just thought I'd attempt to capture what it can be like at times.

[AllTorque]

I like it but not that keen on the "bop badops" that run along in the background. Good work!

Are they real drums, or loops?

[Mr Will]

The Lukas said:

Percy Flage said:

Is that "get down" like in a black African American way, or "get down" as in feel a bit low from time to time? If the former, perhaps a livelier tune might help?

I believe it's more the latter. Both are stuck in situations that look difficult to get out of without affecting close members of their family. One lost his
Mum in an accident 18 months ago and naturally gets pretty downhearted. I'm writing more upbeat stuff too, but just thought I'd attempt to capture what it can be like at times.

I've just listened to it through twice and I quite like the tune, but you haven't really managed to connect with what it feels like to be depressed.

[The Lukas]

AllTorque said:

I like it but not that keen on the "bop badops" that run along in the background. Good work!

Are they real drums, or loops?

That's fair enough, it was just an experiment with catches, but it's actually saying 'rock bottom' which I was going to call the song itself, but seemed a but obvious and cheesy Thanksgir the feedback

[AllTorque]

The Lukas said:

AllTorque said:

I like it but not that keen on the "bop badops" that run along in the background. Good work!

Are they real drums, or loops?

That's fair enough, it was just an experiment with catches, but it's actually saying 'rock bottom' which I was going to call the song itself, but seemed a but obvious and cheesy Thanksgir the feedback

No worries - overall, I'm very impressed with the sound! Can I ask how you recorded it? Is it a band or just you on your own? Need tips!!

[The Lukas]

AllTorque said:

The Lukas said:

AllTorque said:

I like it but not that keen on the "bop badops" that run along in the background. Good work!

Are they real drums, or loops?

That's fair enough, it was just an experiment with catches, but it's actually saying 'rock bottom' which I was going to call the song itself, but seemed a but obvious and cheesy Thanksgir the feedback

No worries - overall, I'm very impressed with the sound! Can I ask how you recorded it? Is it a band or just you on your own? Need tips!!

I use some recording gear, namely a PC, a FireWire soundcard, a half decent condenser mic, drum mics and instruments. It's all me in this track, layered bit by bit. Real drums too.

[Zod]

The Lukas said:

It's written because a couple friends of mine get down allot, and it just kind of helped understand a bit better what it feels like.

What do they grow on the allotment? I thought tending an allotment was viewed as a good thing for depressives.

[The Lukas]

Mr Will said:

I've just listened to it through twice and I quite like the tune, but you haven't really managed to connect with what it feels like to be depressed.

Thanks for a criticism. I believe I didn't do a bad job at conveying it, but I know I didn't go deep into it in the song. What does the song convey to you?

[Mr Will]

The Lukas said:

Mr Will said:

I've just listened to it through twice and I quite like the tune, but you haven't really managed to connect with what it feels like to be depressed.

Thanks for a criticism. I believe I didn't do a bad job at conveying it, but I know I didn't go deep into it in the song. What does the song convey to you?

Depression (rather than just being unhappy) is a very difficult thing to explain or understand. The core of it is a sense of hopelessness, there is no way for things to get better.

The person is your song is too aware of his overall situation and too aware that there is something better out there to strive for.

Does that make any sense?

[The Lukas]

Mr Will said:

The Lukas said:

Mr Will said:

I've just listened to it through twice and I quite like the tune, but you haven't really managed to connect with what it feels like to be depressed.

Thanks for a criticism. I believe I didn't do a bad job at conveying it, but I know I didn't go deep into it in the song. What does the song convey to you?

Depression (rather than just being unhappy) is a very difficult thing to explain or understand. The core of it is a sense of hopelessness, there is no way for things to get better.

The person is your song is too aware of his overall situation and too aware that there is something better out there to strive for.

Does that make any sense?

Actually, yes it does

Maybe then, it's not about depression but about being in a long term situation that make you feel like . Often they get confused, so it's a fine line I take it in many cases.

Edited by The Lukas on Thursday 28th October 12:26

[80s Matchbox]

Mr Will said:

The Lukas said:

Mr Will said:

I've just listened to it through twice and I quite like the tune, but you haven't really managed to connect with what it feels like to be depressed.

Thanks for a criticism. I believe I didn't do a bad job at conveying it, but I know I didn't go deep into it in the song. What does the song convey to you?

Depression (rather than just being unhappy) is a very difficult thing to explain or understand. The core of it is a sense of hopelessness, there is no way for things to get better.

The person is your song is too aware of his overall situation and too aware that there is something better out there to strive for.

Does that make any sense?

I agree with Mr Will here.

I think the OP should listen to Joy Division - New Dawn Fades. It's an obvious example of a depressed songwriter. He didn't make it much longer after writing that..

[Jovial Joe]

OP, it's well performed and produced. Unfortunately it's too poppy and upbeat to convey any sense of desperation and certainly isn't cathartic.
If the lyrics have a message then the music doesn't carry it, personally I'd change the words for a lighter subject matter.

Listen to this from 4.30 onwards http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr__zWWcovM This is how to convey depression.

Best of luck for the future.
Rgds

[10 Pence Short]

Having always liked writing, and realising I'm suffering from long term depression that's just taken a turn for the worse, I've thought quite a lot about how to put the feeling into words. Even when you're in there it's not easy to describe how it really is.

Think along the lines of no self worth and because of that, not even wanting to recover from it even if you could. It becomes an eternal loop which in a lot of cases is going to end in the person having a moment that gives them the courage and motivation to finally top themselves. That's at least a none-lyrical, matter of fact description of my mind of recent weeks.

[daphantom]

listen to "Down in a hole" by Alice In Chains lads. Sums it up pretty well in my eyes