What does burnout feel like?
Discussion
I think I'm suffering from it, and I would describe it as a total and all-encompassing feeling of apathy.
I've tried taking some time off, both a week at a time or frequent extended weekends but it's not working.
The work itself is great, it's more the workload and some of the people. On the rare times, I've felt like this before, I would change jobs, but the prospect of a new role doesn't excite me, and I certainly can't be bothered going through the interview process normally associated with a senior role.
I think I need the summer off.
I've tried taking some time off, both a week at a time or frequent extended weekends but it's not working.
The work itself is great, it's more the workload and some of the people. On the rare times, I've felt like this before, I would change jobs, but the prospect of a new role doesn't excite me, and I certainly can't be bothered going through the interview process normally associated with a senior role.
I think I need the summer off.
SkinnyPete said:
I think I'm suffering from it, and I would describe it as a total and all-encompassing feeling of apathy.
I've tried taking some time off, both a week at a time or frequent extended weekends but it's not working.
The work itself is great, it's more the workload and some of the people. On the rare times, I've felt like this before, I would change jobs, but the prospect of a new role doesn't excite me, and I certainly can't be bothered going through the interview process normally associated with a senior role.
I think I need the summer off.
For me it's struggling more and more to sit down and start working until it gets to the point that I just can't bring myself to do it until its an emergency and even then I highly resent doing it and make silly mistakes. I've tried taking some time off, both a week at a time or frequent extended weekends but it's not working.
The work itself is great, it's more the workload and some of the people. On the rare times, I've felt like this before, I would change jobs, but the prospect of a new role doesn't excite me, and I certainly can't be bothered going through the interview process normally associated with a senior role.
I think I need the summer off.
Going abroad for a proper break somewhere sunny helps a lot, so does finding someone you can delegate the most tedious parts of your job to - if not internally than there's a lot of qualified people in Asia who speak great English and will do good work for you for peanuts. Bonus is they're 5 hours ahead, so can be working whilst you're sleeping, ready to review in the morning.
I think there's short term burnout following some months of intense pressure, and a type that builds up gradually over a longer period and sometimes associated with overall career dissatisfaction.
The first I have experience of, but not the latter. It felt like living on a knife edge every day. A couple of hours sleep at most. Like a permanent, intense, jittery caffeine hit but with overarching tiredness.
Quality time off is the order of the day followed by a decent discussion with someone who can address the workload problem.
The first I have experience of, but not the latter. It felt like living on a knife edge every day. A couple of hours sleep at most. Like a permanent, intense, jittery caffeine hit but with overarching tiredness.
Quality time off is the order of the day followed by a decent discussion with someone who can address the workload problem.
It depends, everyone is different.
For me the root cause was a culmination of covid, lockdown with young children, loss of a parent and an extremely stressful job.
This lead to burnout and me taking 8 weeks out from work.
It felt awful. It culminated one Sunday morning, after a night of dreaming that I was on holiday in a hotel and my boss and his boss were in rooms next door and they kept knocking to wake me up to do something.
I went to the GP next morning and was signed off.
Happy to talk via PM.
For me the root cause was a culmination of covid, lockdown with young children, loss of a parent and an extremely stressful job.
This lead to burnout and me taking 8 weeks out from work.
It felt awful. It culminated one Sunday morning, after a night of dreaming that I was on holiday in a hotel and my boss and his boss were in rooms next door and they kept knocking to wake me up to do something.
I went to the GP next morning and was signed off.
Happy to talk via PM.
I made a burner account so I can post this but something similar happened to me in the pandemic. I suffered a trauma just before the pandemic and I felt like you describe somewhat. Everything felt very very hard. I thought oh it's just the pandemic. Working lots, being grateful for my job etc etc. But I was really struggling, it was starting to kill me.
Thing is I pushed and pushed and pushed till I couldn't get up, then I pushed some more, then I began to suffer dissociation. I kept pushing until May 2021 I absolutely broke and I've been off work since then nearly 3 years. Bear in mind I'm normally someone with a "good" job, I do triathlons and the like.
I could write an essay on this but my advice is listen to what you're feeling and basically take yourself seriously and pay attention to your needs. Needs and wants are 2 different things. People who just man up for too long can end up breaking and then when they give you the wrong medical advice it can make you a lot worse.
I'm not writing this to scare you but do listen to yourself. I never thought this would happen to me but I pushed myself far too hard and it's hard to come back from.
Thing is I pushed and pushed and pushed till I couldn't get up, then I pushed some more, then I began to suffer dissociation. I kept pushing until May 2021 I absolutely broke and I've been off work since then nearly 3 years. Bear in mind I'm normally someone with a "good" job, I do triathlons and the like.
I could write an essay on this but my advice is listen to what you're feeling and basically take yourself seriously and pay attention to your needs. Needs and wants are 2 different things. People who just man up for too long can end up breaking and then when they give you the wrong medical advice it can make you a lot worse.
I'm not writing this to scare you but do listen to yourself. I never thought this would happen to me but I pushed myself far too hard and it's hard to come back from.
Thanks for the replies.
I'm getting a little bit of Sunday dread, thinking about this week's workload and planning through in my head how best to tackle it at 9 AM tomorrow.
I did speak with a trusted recruiter recently, and he told me the market is dire and not to rock the boat. I still think a career break could be a healthy option though.
I'm going to try and survive a couple more months, then I'm out I'm out regardless.
I'm getting a little bit of Sunday dread, thinking about this week's workload and planning through in my head how best to tackle it at 9 AM tomorrow.
I did speak with a trusted recruiter recently, and he told me the market is dire and not to rock the boat. I still think a career break could be a healthy option though.
I'm going to try and survive a couple more months, then I'm out I'm out regardless.
Towards then end of our company's life (ie when the CEO sold up), I felt all this too. When the company sold and the new owners arrived - who were really good - I struggled to get excited by any of it. I did the job, and did it well, but the previous years all just meant I'd had enough.
In my case, I'm now enjoying some gardening leave, and given the state of my old industry, have applied to do a pHd in a different field, related back to my engineering degree as a lad. Hoping to start that in September after having the summer off.
On the one hand, don't be afraid of "manning up" when it's a project that you need to get done. But at the same time - "burns leave scars" as I told our sales team many times when they under-quoted yet another project that they expected the delivery team to clean up again.
For me - burn out felt like an existential dread of any project. Even if it was a good project, well quoted, good customer - I still felt filled with dread about it. (burns leave scars, as above).
So it's really important to have some periodic down time too - you can't keep running at 100% indefinitely, despite what social media attention seeker types tell you.
In my case, I'm now enjoying some gardening leave, and given the state of my old industry, have applied to do a pHd in a different field, related back to my engineering degree as a lad. Hoping to start that in September after having the summer off.
On the one hand, don't be afraid of "manning up" when it's a project that you need to get done. But at the same time - "burns leave scars" as I told our sales team many times when they under-quoted yet another project that they expected the delivery team to clean up again.
For me - burn out felt like an existential dread of any project. Even if it was a good project, well quoted, good customer - I still felt filled with dread about it. (burns leave scars, as above).
So it's really important to have some periodic down time too - you can't keep running at 100% indefinitely, despite what social media attention seeker types tell you.
At 51 I had a panic attack on the Motorway.
In the aftermath, I went into a spiral of depression and anxiety.
I couldn't eat, sleep or settle down to rest.
I went down in weight to 9st 11. I'm 5'9.
I couldn't leave the house or drive anywhere. i had to force myself to do do these basic things.
Wifey booked me into counselling.
In counselling, I learned that this was purely down to accumiulated stress.
Stress in middle aged men can come in many forms.
Obesety, ulscers, heart desease & umpteen different issues can happen.
I had none of those. In fact I was 'destressingly' healthy ...........physically.
Anyway, I got on with things as best I could, but eventually I went on medication.
Dr perscribed Lexapro .
Doing alright ever since.
Avoied Motorways to this day however though....
In the aftermath, I went into a spiral of depression and anxiety.
I couldn't eat, sleep or settle down to rest.
I went down in weight to 9st 11. I'm 5'9.
I couldn't leave the house or drive anywhere. i had to force myself to do do these basic things.
Wifey booked me into counselling.
In counselling, I learned that this was purely down to accumiulated stress.
Stress in middle aged men can come in many forms.
Obesety, ulscers, heart desease & umpteen different issues can happen.
I had none of those. In fact I was 'destressingly' healthy ...........physically.
Anyway, I got on with things as best I could, but eventually I went on medication.
Dr perscribed Lexapro .
Doing alright ever since.
Avoied Motorways to this day however though....
Small business owner here - 20 years, now feeling almost permanant dread that the next plate l am thrown to spin, will bring all the others down. Down time…..when I have it, is spent worrying at problems I can not solve yet, or even problems that have not happened. Never used to be like this. Yes there were stressful times, but now it seems stressful continuously, even relentlessly. Perhaps my ability to cope has erroded and diminished over time? It feels that way to me.
SkinnyPete said:
Three and a half months later, I'm still in the same place.
Currently suffering from "one more month syndrome".
Have you been to see your GP?Currently suffering from "one more month syndrome".
Any support network at work?
You will go bang at some point and it will take a long time to recover.
Do something now!
I have regular bouts of anxiety and depression mostly work related and I can now recognise when it's going to happen and ask for help or step back.
I have now set a date for retirement (March 25) which has just relieved (most of) the pressure.
I’ve shared this before but in case useful am sharing again - a motivation scale to help you rate how your job is going from 1-10. Naturally how you feel will vary over time, but this helps you decide whether this is temporary or permanent.
1. Visibly damaging mental/physical well-being
2. Hate this. Angry, fearful, got to get out
3. Not enjoying it. Rather be elsewhere
4. Bored, irritated, but coping
5. Ok, but uncommitted either way
6. Going ok. Could be a lot worse
7. Enjoying it. Potential here
8. Loving it. Real opportunities
9. Absolutely loving it. Huge opportunity
10. Smashing it, time of your life
My view is a job should be mostly 7 or above, and if it is 3 or below for more than a few months you need to take action (take a break, make a change or leave) or risk mental health issues.
1. Visibly damaging mental/physical well-being
2. Hate this. Angry, fearful, got to get out
3. Not enjoying it. Rather be elsewhere
4. Bored, irritated, but coping
5. Ok, but uncommitted either way
6. Going ok. Could be a lot worse
7. Enjoying it. Potential here
8. Loving it. Real opportunities
9. Absolutely loving it. Huge opportunity
10. Smashing it, time of your life
My view is a job should be mostly 7 or above, and if it is 3 or below for more than a few months you need to take action (take a break, make a change or leave) or risk mental health issues.
67Dino said:
1. Visibly damaging mental/physical well-being
2. Hate this. Angry, fearful, got to get out
3. Not enjoying it. Rather be elsewhere
4. Bored, irritated, but coping
5. Ok, but uncommitted either way
6. Going ok. Could be a lot worse
7. Enjoying it. Potential here
8. Loving it. Real opportunities
9. Absolutely loving it. Huge opportunity
10. Smashing it, time of your life
I don't think I've ever worked in a job higher than a 6, most quite a few points less.2. Hate this. Angry, fearful, got to get out
3. Not enjoying it. Rather be elsewhere
4. Bored, irritated, but coping
5. Ok, but uncommitted either way
6. Going ok. Could be a lot worse
7. Enjoying it. Potential here
8. Loving it. Real opportunities
9. Absolutely loving it. Huge opportunity
10. Smashing it, time of your life
Back in 2016, I was diagnosed with burn out and PTSD, which the specialist said had built up over many years and just come to a head. I had lost a lot of weight, found everthing and everybody irritating, often felt like I was having a heart attack travelling to work in mornings. However, all physical test came back that I was good. The firm sent me to various Harley street specialists, who all told me that basically I had not taken my foot of the accelerator and the only real cure was to stop doing what I was doing and do something different that I enjoyed, such as tinkering with classic cars. My response to that was this does not pay the mortgage.
In 2017 I took things into my own hands, left my phone and laptop behind and went away for a few weeks in Africa (I was lucky to be a position to do so), this was like pressing a reset button, there was lots of standing around staring at sunsets and wildlife, which would quite often have me in tears. When I came back, I made a plan, left the city, started my own consultancy doing similar work as previously and moved to the countryside.
I am mindful nowadays to balance work with time for me and family and only work the hours or days that I wish. Since then I have not had a single episode.
In 2017 I took things into my own hands, left my phone and laptop behind and went away for a few weeks in Africa (I was lucky to be a position to do so), this was like pressing a reset button, there was lots of standing around staring at sunsets and wildlife, which would quite often have me in tears. When I came back, I made a plan, left the city, started my own consultancy doing similar work as previously and moved to the countryside.
I am mindful nowadays to balance work with time for me and family and only work the hours or days that I wish. Since then I have not had a single episode.
The problem with burnout is you don't see it coming, you use up your resilience and reset/get back up again. If you are in a job where the final detail 'just' falls into place I'm the final moments you are more susceptible to burn out.
I remember on a training week the trainer said 'always give 100%'. I said no, that's impossible as the culture of 100% leads to all sorts of issues. I said always give 80%, always hold something back in reserve for the future. Your work won't remember you when you are gone, there won't be a plaque of your achievements. You are just another number.
Years ago I remember complaining about the amount of time people took at the coffee machine (a nice Jura) as it didn't take long to make. It took me a long time to realise that it was a reason for a break, something else. A small reset.
Look after yourself. Our minds have a certain amount of resilience and if we push too hard it can take longer to recover. Listen to advice, listen to friends.
I'm currently off sick due to a traumatic incident at work. I was going to take a couple of weeks but my Welfare officer said take 2 months. For once, I'm going to listen to others and not myself.
I remember on a training week the trainer said 'always give 100%'. I said no, that's impossible as the culture of 100% leads to all sorts of issues. I said always give 80%, always hold something back in reserve for the future. Your work won't remember you when you are gone, there won't be a plaque of your achievements. You are just another number.
Years ago I remember complaining about the amount of time people took at the coffee machine (a nice Jura) as it didn't take long to make. It took me a long time to realise that it was a reason for a break, something else. A small reset.
Look after yourself. Our minds have a certain amount of resilience and if we push too hard it can take longer to recover. Listen to advice, listen to friends.
I'm currently off sick due to a traumatic incident at work. I was going to take a couple of weeks but my Welfare officer said take 2 months. For once, I'm going to listen to others and not myself.
Thisburner said:
I made a burner account so I can post this but something similar happened to me in the pandemic. I suffered a trauma just before the pandemic and I felt like you describe somewhat. Everything felt very very hard. I thought oh it's just the pandemic. Working lots, being grateful for my job etc etc. But I was really struggling, it was starting to kill me.
Thing is I pushed and pushed and pushed till I couldn't get up, then I pushed some more, then I began to suffer dissociation. I kept pushing until May 2021 I absolutely broke and I've been off work since then nearly 3 years. Bear in mind I'm normally someone with a "good" job, I do triathlons and the like.
I could write an essay on this but my advice is listen to what you're feeling and basically take yourself seriously and pay attention to your needs. Needs and wants are 2 different things. People who just man up for too long can end up breaking and then when they give you the wrong medical advice it can make you a lot worse.
I'm not writing this to scare you but do listen to yourself. I never thought this would happen to me but I pushed myself far too hard and it's hard to come back from.
I completely agree with this. It's only in the later part of like that I've learned to be much less demanding on myself. I've been close to the edge, and I've seen what happened to a family member who kept pushing themselves.Thing is I pushed and pushed and pushed till I couldn't get up, then I pushed some more, then I began to suffer dissociation. I kept pushing until May 2021 I absolutely broke and I've been off work since then nearly 3 years. Bear in mind I'm normally someone with a "good" job, I do triathlons and the like.
I could write an essay on this but my advice is listen to what you're feeling and basically take yourself seriously and pay attention to your needs. Needs and wants are 2 different things. People who just man up for too long can end up breaking and then when they give you the wrong medical advice it can make you a lot worse.
I'm not writing this to scare you but do listen to yourself. I never thought this would happen to me but I pushed myself far too hard and it's hard to come back from.
SkinnyPete said:
Three and a half months later, I'm still in the same place.
Currently suffering from "one more month syndrome".
You need to see your GP, before you end up having a nervous breakdown.Currently suffering from "one more month syndrome".
I've been in the same position twice (first time at 25, second time at 33). It started as a gradual downward spiral, low moods and lack of motivation.
Depression (surprisingly not much anxiety), feeling extremely emotional and even the tiniest upset would reduce me to tears eventually.
Then one morning, I simply could not bring myself to get out of bed and get ready for work, and I broke down.
I saw a doctor who immediately booked me off work and put me on anti depressants, with a diagnosis of a nervous (mental) breakdown.
This happened to me twice in 10 years.
It nearly happened a third time, but I recognised the symptoms and was able to cope with it.
For what it's worth - every instance was job related one way or another.
SkinnyPete said:
Three and a half months later, I'm still in the same place.
Currently suffering from "one more month syndrome".
Out of interest what industry are you in? Experiencing 2 weeks of complete brain fog atm. Couldn’t remember where I parked the car today and neither could the missus who is in the same industry lol. Currently suffering from "one more month syndrome".
It's interesting to read this thread as I've gone through quite a lot what others have written here.
Last week it all led to being made redundant but really was a sacking.
Last January my wife gave birth to our son at only 28 weeks. This started off the toughest year I have ever endured, only starting at the company in November the year previously I wasn't eligible for paternity leave.
I used up all my holiday going to and from the hospital with absolutely no downtime left for the rest of the year. Once we had our little miracle back home we then had further problems with his severe reflux having to keep him upright all night sleeping on us. I have never experienced exhaustion like that before.
Somehow I tried to work through all this but I could feel work getting harder and harder to do. There were days where I would sit at my desk completely shellshocked having seen my son stop breathing in the incubator only a few hours before.
In the end my project was cancelled and I was moved onto a different team.
Suddenly I'm working in areas I'm not experienced in and couldn't concentrate or focus on anything. It was awful and I couldn't understand why I couldn't perform the task even if it was a simple one. I was ghosted by my team members and pretty much accepted my fate there in the end.
When I walked out of the office building a massive relief came over me. As most people do in that situation you go for a few beers. At one pub I was outside and saw a NICU ambulance. Knowing that there was a small baby being transported, I broke down and suddenly last year comes flooding back to me. I'd only then realised I'd been keeping all that happened last year inside bottled up.
Last week it all led to being made redundant but really was a sacking.
Last January my wife gave birth to our son at only 28 weeks. This started off the toughest year I have ever endured, only starting at the company in November the year previously I wasn't eligible for paternity leave.
I used up all my holiday going to and from the hospital with absolutely no downtime left for the rest of the year. Once we had our little miracle back home we then had further problems with his severe reflux having to keep him upright all night sleeping on us. I have never experienced exhaustion like that before.
Somehow I tried to work through all this but I could feel work getting harder and harder to do. There were days where I would sit at my desk completely shellshocked having seen my son stop breathing in the incubator only a few hours before.
In the end my project was cancelled and I was moved onto a different team.
Suddenly I'm working in areas I'm not experienced in and couldn't concentrate or focus on anything. It was awful and I couldn't understand why I couldn't perform the task even if it was a simple one. I was ghosted by my team members and pretty much accepted my fate there in the end.
When I walked out of the office building a massive relief came over me. As most people do in that situation you go for a few beers. At one pub I was outside and saw a NICU ambulance. Knowing that there was a small baby being transported, I broke down and suddenly last year comes flooding back to me. I'd only then realised I'd been keeping all that happened last year inside bottled up.
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