Dealing with a difficult colleague

[macp]

Afternoon all
Hope the weekend is going well. Just wanted some thoughts which on the face of it is not worst thing in the world. But after years of it im struggling to keep my cool. Actually thats a lie Its winding me up something terrible. And not meaning to sound like a snowflake, its making me very anxious.

So a bit of background. I am 22yrs in with my current employer and in my 50s. The guy I have the problem with has done about 16 and is almost 60. We are a small wholly owned business and part of a large organisation. There is an HR dept but its overseas and I/we have little to do with them directly.

We have an MD who is a micro manager. But generally I can cope with him. But this other guy who is now shown as management support on the hierarchy chart, brings it to a whole different level. I wont go into all that nonsense. But recently he has a new thing. Now in tech support & sales I can and do reply to a great many emails per day. Very often I just hit reply all and move on. And depending on their importance I file them. But anyway now im getting emails or teams screenshots from him to show that I have not included any mention of the company name in my reply. Im told this is because he auto files these emails. And FYi he literally wants everything no matter what it pertains to, or what is. He also has a history of not reading stuff and getting it all wrong.

So on one hand im thinking just do what he asks, your too old and tired to care. And I do think I need to work on my anger management. But I just wanted to know your thoughts & comments.

[bitchstewie]

I've read that a couple of times and apologies if I'm missing it but I'm not seeing what the issue is?

Not sure what you mean by "not included any mention of the company name in my reply".

[Fatboy]

bhstewie said:

I've read that a couple of times and apologies if I'm missing it but I'm not seeing what the issue is?

Not sure what you mean by "not included any mention of the company name in my reply".

If I'm reading it right, you could sort that out permanently by just adding the company name to your signature?
Sounds like the other guy is more than a bit of a bellend though...

[Jasandjules]

Do you not have an autosignature ?

[Terminator X]

Why do what he wants though, is he your Boss? If not just ignore him.

TX.

[mickythefish]

Terminator X said:

Why do what he wants though, is he your Boss? If not just ignore him.

TX.

Yeh.gotbto suck it up. Pointless arguing just ask him to confirm in writing so you can use it if he says you ain't doing it his way.

[macp]

bhstewie said:

I've read that a couple of times and apologies if I'm missing it but I'm not seeing what the issue is?

Not sure what you mean by "not included any mention of the company name in my reply".

Not all mate, sorry what I meant was entering the customer/company name in the email subject.

[bitchstewie]

Fatboy said:

If I'm reading it right, you could sort that out permanently by just adding the company name to your signature?
Sounds like the other guy is more than a bit of a bellend though...

That's why I'm not sure what he means.

Must admit I didn't take it to mean just an email signature because most of the time that's added automatically.

[macp]

Fatboy said:

bhstewie said:

I've read that a couple of times and apologies if I'm missing it but I'm not seeing what the issue is?

Not sure what you mean by "not included any mention of the company name in my reply".

If I'm reading it right, you could sort that out permanently by just adding the company name to your signature?
Sounds like the other guy is more than a bit of a bellend though...

Sorry I meant in the subject header of the email.

[mickythefish]

Terminator X said:

Why do what he wants though, is he your Boss? If not just ignore him.

TX.

Yeh.gotbto suck it up. Pointless arguing just ask him to confirm in writing so you can use it if he says you ain't doing it his way.

[bitchstewie]

macp said:

Not all mate, sorry what I meant was entering the customer/company name in the email subject.

Is it a process thing where you're meant to?

I'm guessing he wants to use rules to automatically sort emails into folders.

I guess I'd be curious if he's doing this because it's part of his job to do it in which case I'd say it's reasonable to see if there's an easy way to improve the process.

[macp]

mickythefish said:

Terminator X said:

Why do what he wants though, is he your Boss? If not just ignore him.

TX.

Yeh.gotbto suck it up. Pointless arguing just ask him to confirm in writing so you can use it if he says you ain't doing it his way.

Yeah thats a good response appreciate it.

[macp]

bhstewie said:

macp said:

Not all mate, sorry what I meant was entering the customer/company name in the email subject.

Is it a process thing where you're meant to?

I'm guessing he wants to use rules to automatically sort emails into folders.

I guess I'd be curious if he's doing this because it's part of his job to do it in which case I'd say it's reasonable to see if there's an easy way to improve the process.

Its not a process I have ever seen in the group rules. Or anywhere else.

[bitchstewie]

macp said:

Its not a process I have ever seen in the group rules. Or anywhere else.

But is it his job to be copied on all those emails or did he just say one day "Hi macp can you copy me on all emails you send please" and then start moaning you weren't doing it the way he wanted you to?

You see where I'm going with this.

[Jasandjules]

macp said:

Its not a process I have ever seen in the group rules. Or anywhere else.

1. Do you report to him?
2. If No.1 = yes, do it
3. If No.1 = no, ask your manager/report line whether they want you to do it.

[macp]

bhstewie said:

macp said:

Its not a process I have ever seen in the group rules. Or anywhere else.

But is it his job to be copied on all those emails or did he just say one day "Hi macp can you copy me on all emails you send please" and then start moaning you weren't doing it the way he wanted you to?

You see where I'm going with this.

Yeah I need to come clean as he has moaned about it before. My reply was to say yes I will try to do that. But you cant come down on me each and everytime I dont because im only human. His last reply was "I try to automate my thoughts".

[macp]

Jasandjules said:

macp said:

Its not a process I have ever seen in the group rules. Or anywhere else.

1. Do you report to him?
2. If No.1 = yes, do it
3. If No.1 = no, ask your manager/report line whether they want you to do it.

I dont report to him. But the MD will always take his side.

[Digger]

macp said:

bhstewie said:

macp said:

Its not a process I have ever seen in the group rules. Or anywhere else.

But is it his job to be copied on all those emails or did he just say one day "Hi macp can you copy me on all emails you send please" and then start moaning you weren't doing it the way he wanted you to?

You see where I'm going with this.

Yeah I need to come clean as he has moaned about it before. My reply was to say yes I will try to do that. But you cant come down on me each and everytime I dont because im only human. His last reply was "I try to automate my thoughts".

My word . . . That's an absolute belter!!

[QJumper]

macp said:

Not all mate, sorry what I meant was entering the customer/company name in the email subject.

To be honest, it's not an unreasonable request, and does make filing easier.

I suspect your issue is with him, or the way he asked, rather than the request itself.

[bitchstewie]

macp said:

Yeah I need to come clean as he has moaned about it before. My reply was to say yes I will try to do that. But you cant come down on me each and everytime I dont because im only human. His last reply was "I try to automate my thoughts".

This isn't as a lawyer or anything other than how I've read what you've said and my first reaction.

Forget who you report to for a moment.

If there's an expectation that you send emails to customers or internally or whatever and you copy this guy on them because it's his job to file them or do "stuff" with them I'd say it's reasonable to help make them as easy as possible for him to identify them and do whatever that "stuff" is.

And if that's the case asking you to include some basic info to help him do that quickly and efficiently doesn't honestly sound that unreasonable.

Unless he's just randomly started asking you to include him on all emails for no reason and you don't report to him in which case I'd say what Jasandjules goes.

Appreciate the points you raise in your opening post so I hope I don't come across as downplaying something that sounds like it's causing you some stress but I think for me it's a "choose your battles" one.