Workplace drama
Discussion
Hi All
Had a bit of an issue at work on Friday and wanted some advice. I work in, Insurance. Only been there for 3.5 months but it is somewhere I would like to progress
Management are fairly laid back and my job is easy and pays OK also.
I was in full on sales roles but this has been pretty much stress free. No micro management and everyone runs out of the door at 5.30..... Except there's a girl who loves drama but quite clever with it at looking like it wasn't her.
Anyway my line manager left early on Friday and there is a new guy that is a little more chatty than I am and we were just having general chit chat throughout the day. 1 hour before clocking off one of the friendly laid back directors asked to speak to both of us. He didn't look happy. 3 members of staff have complained about the amount of chatting throughout the day.
The new guy also asked for my number to call me that night but I kept it short as I don't want to get involved with it all. Things tend to escalate and I've known him for all of 3 days!
I was taken aback a bit and he said it needed to stop. I thought in my mind I knew this would happen as I was a little conscious about it. Now it's always been said that so long as you're cracking on and doing the numbers all is well but I went back to my desk feeling like a naughty kid and felt embarrassed and a bit shocked as well as disappointed.
As I sat down the director called me back in and shouted "you're fired! Smirking at your desk!" I closed the door and had a 20 minute conversation him asking if I was OK and my just saying things like I enjoy working here and don't take the pee and conscious now about people perception of me etc and after that I just cracked on for the remainder of the day with my work whilst the drama starter was crouched behind someone's desk discussing the event. I genuinely don't believe that I was smirking, a shocked face yes. I still can't work out how he saw my face as he sits in an office of his own and I have my back to him.
I feel traumatised to be honest and feel a bit of a victim and I'm flabbergasted about the event. Keep talking myself, who cares it's life to bring me back to earth.
He's a nice guy, one of the directors not so. The other directors on holiday at the moment and I really don't know what to expect when he returns. I always do the numbers and have only been there a short while. This sort of thing has made me leave in a matter of weeks but does this sound like an isolated 1 off and completely normal in the workplace or should I be looking elsewhere?
My CV is starting to look busy also from job moves. Never been sacked but I feel it coming because the other director back in the day was a bit of a hire and fire type and has his favourites, ie a woman from a completely different background was promoted 2 weeks after starting whilst the rest of us felt a little hard done to ??
She also demanded a later lunch and was granted that as an early lunch was too early for her. Despite us already sorting the lunches out, she ended up on permanent late lunches. Sounds petty but it's favouritism when hire and fire is then questioning me in why I want the late lunch. Well because that's the lunch I was on before she started and works better for me to see to the dog on lunch, smack bang in the middle of the day so he isn't holding out for wee wees for too long. Should I need to explain?
Was the laid back, friendly director just having a bad day? The plan was to just go in, crack on like nothing happened and anything else that happens is out of my control.
Sorry for the long post I just want to try and give a clear picture. I may be really overthinking this and it's just that nobody really cares and you are just a number and most places have these, what some of you may think just petty dramas when you are an employee or its a toxic workplace.
Had a bit of an issue at work on Friday and wanted some advice. I work in, Insurance. Only been there for 3.5 months but it is somewhere I would like to progress
Management are fairly laid back and my job is easy and pays OK also.
I was in full on sales roles but this has been pretty much stress free. No micro management and everyone runs out of the door at 5.30..... Except there's a girl who loves drama but quite clever with it at looking like it wasn't her.
Anyway my line manager left early on Friday and there is a new guy that is a little more chatty than I am and we were just having general chit chat throughout the day. 1 hour before clocking off one of the friendly laid back directors asked to speak to both of us. He didn't look happy. 3 members of staff have complained about the amount of chatting throughout the day.
The new guy also asked for my number to call me that night but I kept it short as I don't want to get involved with it all. Things tend to escalate and I've known him for all of 3 days!
I was taken aback a bit and he said it needed to stop. I thought in my mind I knew this would happen as I was a little conscious about it. Now it's always been said that so long as you're cracking on and doing the numbers all is well but I went back to my desk feeling like a naughty kid and felt embarrassed and a bit shocked as well as disappointed.
As I sat down the director called me back in and shouted "you're fired! Smirking at your desk!" I closed the door and had a 20 minute conversation him asking if I was OK and my just saying things like I enjoy working here and don't take the pee and conscious now about people perception of me etc and after that I just cracked on for the remainder of the day with my work whilst the drama starter was crouched behind someone's desk discussing the event. I genuinely don't believe that I was smirking, a shocked face yes. I still can't work out how he saw my face as he sits in an office of his own and I have my back to him.
I feel traumatised to be honest and feel a bit of a victim and I'm flabbergasted about the event. Keep talking myself, who cares it's life to bring me back to earth.
He's a nice guy, one of the directors not so. The other directors on holiday at the moment and I really don't know what to expect when he returns. I always do the numbers and have only been there a short while. This sort of thing has made me leave in a matter of weeks but does this sound like an isolated 1 off and completely normal in the workplace or should I be looking elsewhere?
My CV is starting to look busy also from job moves. Never been sacked but I feel it coming because the other director back in the day was a bit of a hire and fire type and has his favourites, ie a woman from a completely different background was promoted 2 weeks after starting whilst the rest of us felt a little hard done to ??
She also demanded a later lunch and was granted that as an early lunch was too early for her. Despite us already sorting the lunches out, she ended up on permanent late lunches. Sounds petty but it's favouritism when hire and fire is then questioning me in why I want the late lunch. Well because that's the lunch I was on before she started and works better for me to see to the dog on lunch, smack bang in the middle of the day so he isn't holding out for wee wees for too long. Should I need to explain?
Was the laid back, friendly director just having a bad day? The plan was to just go in, crack on like nothing happened and anything else that happens is out of my control.
Sorry for the long post I just want to try and give a clear picture. I may be really overthinking this and it's just that nobody really cares and you are just a number and most places have these, what some of you may think just petty dramas when you are an employee or its a toxic workplace.
Edited by michael010389 on Sunday 21st May 00:06
TBH if you're worrying about and are involved in workplace drama after only 3.5 months then it may not be the place for you.
First 6 months. Head down, do the job, build relationships, don't be a dick. Don't cause too much drama.
"Apologies, I didn't realise I was distracting others- I'll make sure I'm aware of and giving greater consideration to those around me from here on in"
All that needed to be said.
Sounds like the other guy was smart enough to keep his head down afterwards.
First 6 months. Head down, do the job, build relationships, don't be a dick. Don't cause too much drama.
"Apologies, I didn't realise I was distracting others- I'll make sure I'm aware of and giving greater consideration to those around me from here on in"
All that needed to be said.
Sounds like the other guy was smart enough to keep his head down afterwards.
Edited by Previous on Sunday 21st May 01:00
Very easy to get drawn into a laid back office culture as you are just trying to fit in. But management will still see you as the new guy and will want to see some evidence of what they are paying for.
From the outside, the whole environment you've described sounds quite immature.
Settle in, suck it up, then after a few months you can start pushing for better lunch shifts etc. Sounds like you need to build up some good will at this point.
From the outside, the whole environment you've described sounds quite immature.
Settle in, suck it up, then after a few months you can start pushing for better lunch shifts etc. Sounds like you need to build up some good will at this point.
Hugo Stiglitz said:
Participate in gossip = become gossip = becomes a problem.
Keep your head down. Be polite, work; go home.
Yes exactly my thoughts. I've been very pally in previous jobs and I'm nit so much anymore. I'm there for 1 thing only. Payment to trickle into the fund to retire ASAP! Keep your head down. Be polite, work; go home.
GT03ROB said:
If you like the job & the place. Head down, get on with your job & keep out of office dramas.
Sounds great, but if you aren't politically inclined and have proactive gaslighters, then you will be an easy target. Some people just want to watch the world burn. OP, just try to win your manager over, so they can see you as a human rather than some super dispensable file number. You are new, but I wouldn't say this will keep you safe. In some offices, the woman you described is often the gatekeeper to a successful tenure. You may have to suck it up and get your nose dirty. I am giving this advice under the assumption that you care about this? I personally don't and is why I am rather chilled out. Most office have snarky people who like taking shots at nice people out of their own dislike of themselves and their stained noses.
GilletteFan said:
GT03ROB said:
If you like the job & the place. Head down, get on with your job & keep out of office dramas.
Sounds great, but if you aren't politically inclined and have proactive gaslighters, then you will be an easy target. Some people just want to watch the world burn. OP, just try to win your manager over, so they can see you as a human rather than some super dispensable file number. You are new, but I wouldn't say this will keep you safe. In some offices, the woman you described is often the gatekeeper to a successful tenure. You may have to suck it up and get your nose dirty. I am giving this advice under the assumption that you care about this? I personally don't and is why I am rather chilled out. Most office have snarky people who like taking shots at nice people out of their own dislike of themselves and their stained noses.
Keep your head down, crack on. You have been there 3.5 months, you can be got rid of with a click of someone’s fingers. 95% of the time - it’s the same select individuals who start office dramas. They play these scenarios through in their head all the time and know what to say, how to say it and to whom and when etc… they love it.
As Gillette says, they are very conscious of who they are and what they have to do to stay there. Everybody wants to be the gatekeeper.
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