Burnout?

[A44RON]

Hi all, need some advice/thoughts on my situation and what you would do, and if I'm being a bit crazy and not thinking straight.

[Stuart70]

What’s up?

[A44RON]

My dog passed away in February and in April my Father passed away after a two year battle with cancer. A lot to deal with in such a short space of time, which I don't think I recovered from. I soldiered on through the process etc and went back to work a few days later.

I've been in my role for two years, but the last 6 months it has got worse. Staff have been leaving since June and not being replaced. A colleague of mine had 18 projects on the go, which was our capacity each, and myself and another colleague took nine each. Himself and others weren't replaced, we now have over 40 projects each. I'm just not getting through the workload. It's never-ending, relentless. End of last year they gave me a 'step it up' review when they knew my Dad's situation and I was nursing him through care from home with my mother.

I know I'm not functioning properly and I've been more snappy in general, when I've always been a generally happy individual. I know what I'm feeling is normal given the circumstances of what I've been through this year.

I'm seriously considering handing in my resignation next week. Thinking about taking a few weeks off to sort my head out, maybe go on holiday for a couple of weeks, take some time to heal and recover. I'm single, have no debt, no dependents, I could easily afford to finance myself for 6 months at least. I don't feel like I need that amount of time off, maybe just a good few weeks to sort myself out. I started applying for new jobs a couple of weeks ago too. I do get the whole "it's easier to find a new job when you're already employed" thing and don't want to make myself unemployable, I've never left a job without having one to go to.

What would you do... Would you continue to ride the storm and work through it? Leave and take some time off to heal? Or only leave when have another job confirmed?

[GiantCardboardPlato]

Sorry to her you are having a tough time, and condolences also.

I mean, your reactions sounds utterly normal to me.

I think your plan sounds good.

I’d be tempted to visit my GP and ask them to sign me off with work stress/burnout for a period of time, in the first instance. It’s pretty clear from your post that what you are describing could be some symptoms of burnout/chronic stress.

The work situation sounds a bit out of control. Leaving May be a good plan in the long run, especially if you don’t expect things to improve there, but it’s bit one-way/big step. So a smaller first step could be to get a bit of time/space with some sick leave, then go from there?

Edited by GiantCardboardPlato on Wednesday 7th December 01:29

[105.4]

A44RON said:

What would you do... Would you continue to ride the storm and work through it? Leave and take some time off to heal? Or only leave when have another job confirmed?

Firstly, sorry to hear about the recent passing of your Father and your pooch. Dogs are just as much a member of the family as humans are.

Secondly, well done for recognising the problem and sticking your hand up about it before things get worse. That does take some courage.

So what would I do?

Well, I’m not the sort of guy who likes to quit when the going gets tough, but in the past I’ve also had a significant breakdown due to burn-out. It really wasn’t pleasant !

Personally, I’d be handing in my resignation today. If you do that this morning, then by lunchtime you’ll feel a whole lot better.

I’m sorry to say this, but it seems obvious to me that your current employer doesn’t appreciate you or any of your colleagues. I say leave now because things are only going to get worse, both at work and in your overall health.

Stepping into the unknown can be daunting, but I’m confident you’ll look back at doing so as one of the best decisions of your life.

[cheerfulcharlie]

I quit my last permanent role a year ago yesterday ! I had a 3 month notice period so plenty of wind down time. It wasn't for the same reasons as you - quite the opposite - I was completely board. I had money saved and a purpose - finishing off our house renovation. I went back to work in September as a contractor and its great - no responsibilities outside the role - just get the job done. Depending on your industry if contracting is an option then you should consider it, as not having a job is a bonus as you are immediately available. I have also quit a job before without having another one lined up and didn't find it hard to get another one - it wasn't seen as an issue for prospective employers.

[Jasandjules]

Would you be able to ask work for say a month off without pay?

[spikeyhead]

I'd see your GP and ask to be signed off for a month for as you're depressed.

Use that as an opportunity to look for a new job with a sensible employer

[The test driver]

A44RON said:

I'm seriously considering handing in my resignation next week. Thinking about taking a few weeks off to sort my head out, maybe go on holiday for a couple of weeks, take some time to heal and recover.

This^

No job/ salary is worth your health!

Sorry and condolences on your loses, it seems to be the way that life unfolds sometimes when bad things happen at similar times and it can certainly test us.

If it where me in your shoes I'd follow my own advise on this, sack off the job they don't sound like their listening to or respecting you. Then take sometime like you say to reassess what you enjoy and what you want to do going forward.

Mine like many others PM's are always open if things start to feel overwhelming.

All the best OP.

[StevieBee]

Personally, I would start here:

Jasandjules said:

Would you be able to ask work for say a month off without pay?

If they say no, then do this:

spikeyhead said:

I'd see your GP and ask to be signed off for a month for as you're depressed.

You may not be technically depressed but the status quo could make you so.

And if that’s a non-starter:

The test driver said:

A44RON said:

I'm seriously considering handing in my resignation next week.

This^

No job/ salary is worth your health!

Although do be careful because whilst you’ve said that you can cover yourself for six months, if you get to month five and there’s nothing on the horizon, you could find yourself back to square one.

Just one other thing you may want to consider – Life Coach. I’m normally dismissive of these, partly because I know a few and all are in greater need of coaching than their clients. But I do respect that many people benefit greatly from time with one.

HTH and good luck. It does get better!

[valiant]

spikeyhead said:

I'd see your GP and ask to be signed off for a month for as you're depressed.

Use that as an opportunity to look for a new job with a sensible employer

Yep, take a few weeks off sick (sounds like you’re genuinely suffering from acute stress so shouldn’t be a problem getting signed off) and use that time to focus on yourself. Your company is clearly doing you no favours so don’t worry about dropping them in it as the work relationship is clearly not reciprocal.

Don’t start looking for a new job straight away, give yourself some time to focus on yourself and that will put you in a better position mentally when applying for new roles.

[ChevronB19]

Jasandjules said:

Would you be able to ask work for say a month off without pay?

If you choose this rather than being signed off (I’d recommend the latter), explore whether you can continue pension contributions over this period. Especially given your (relative) youth.

Hope you feel better soon, I went back today after 4 weeks off for similar reasons, and to be quite honest, I’ve gone back too soon.

[A44RON]

Many thanks for the replies, all. It's very helpful

I have thought about going to the doctor to be signed off sick with stress, I did that last year (albeit only for a week) and I just came back to a higher workload and more stress. I think if I'm going to do it, I'm just going to leave and be done with it.

If i continue to work through it, I would get 1.5 weeks off at xmas and new year, but I know that won't solve the situation and I'll go back to more

It really is a running joke among me and my colleagues, we call it controlled demolition of the empire. And there's a review on a job site recently where someone said "the only way this company can be this incompetent: its competitors have planted agents in the company to sabotage it from within." and that's fairly accurate

Edited by A44RON on Wednesday 7th December 20:27

[elanfan]

How about a meeting with your boss. (Point out the reviews). Say the workload is unsustainable and it can’t continue for you or your colleagues, so take the workload off you immediately or you will be off sick from tomorrow. (Suggest your colleagues do similar). Doubt they’ll comply but at last you will have tried. Then go and get signed off.

Plenty of time for a new CV and job applications and interview.

Good luck.

[Doofus]

This isn't burnout, it's stress.

[A44RON]

elanfan said:

How about a meeting with your boss. (Point out the reviews). Say the workload is unsustainable and it can’t continue for you or your colleagues, so take the workload off you immediately or you will be off sick from tomorrow. (Suggest your colleagues do similar). Doubt they’ll comply but at last you will have tried. Then go and get signed off.

Plenty of time for a new CV and job applications and interview.

Good luck.

they don't care and are burying their heads in the sand. If they really cared they would've replaced the project managers who have already left.

Deep-down they know they have a major problem. It's not just me, it's my colleagues (that remain) too. But it is exacerbating everything I've had to deal with in the last two years

[105.4]

A44RON said:

If i continue to work through it, I would get 1.5 weeks off at xmas and new year, but I know that won't solve the situation and I'll go back to more

Edited by A44RON on Wednesday 7th December 20:27

If it were me, I’d force myself through the next couple of weeks, take my (paid?) ten days off over Christmas, then on my first day back, go on the sick for as long as possible before handing in my notice.

[A44RON]

Doofus said:

This isn't burnout, it's stress.

How do you know?

[CharlesdeGaulle]

A44RON said:

Doofus said:

This isn't burnout, it's stress.

How do you know?

And what difference does it make?

[Dr Jekyll]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

A44RON said:

Doofus said:

This isn't burnout, it's stress.

How do you know?

And what difference does it make?

Stress is 'How can I cope?'

Burnout is 'If I do cope, I won't be any better off it'll just start all over again.;

For stress, which I think this is, you don't necessarily need much time out, just changing jobs could do it.