Issues at work - pregnancy/miscarriage related
Discussion
Hi, take a look at https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/ they are a charity and have a hr advice line and can provide free legal advice too. Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in.
Boulder89 said:
Hi, take a look at https://pregnantthenscrewed.com/ they are a charity and have a hr advice line and can provide free legal advice too. Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in.
Good resource. ThanksAmbleton said:
Thankyou.
My first job is to put together a timeline of everything with all documents, emails, letters, policies, employee handbook etc.
Once I've got it all together and made some initial contact I might be in touch.
That's exactly the right way to do it. More than happy to review anything if I can add value, if nothing else hopefully all the comments reassure you you're tackling this in the right way My first job is to put together a timeline of everything with all documents, emails, letters, policies, employee handbook etc.
Once I've got it all together and made some initial contact I might be in touch.
I would like to say this is a rare/unusual set of events but maternity discrimination is rife (though calling a baby a spunk bubble does exceed my experience).
The first question to be asked of yourself and your OH is what is the desired outcome?
Frankly, I must confess I would struggle to continue to work for a boss in that manner. However if continuance of employment is required then the steps to take will be slightly different to if employment was not required as such.
Therefore what is the desired outcome? Once you know that, you can then plan what steps to take.
Forgive me but I only skim read the thread, a Grievance was lodged, what happened?
The first question to be asked of yourself and your OH is what is the desired outcome?
Frankly, I must confess I would struggle to continue to work for a boss in that manner. However if continuance of employment is required then the steps to take will be slightly different to if employment was not required as such.
Therefore what is the desired outcome? Once you know that, you can then plan what steps to take.
Forgive me but I only skim read the thread, a Grievance was lodged, what happened?
Jasandjules said:
I would like to say this is a rare/unusual set of events but maternity discrimination is rife (though calling a baby a spunk bubble does exceed my experience).
The first question to be asked of yourself and your OH is what is the desired outcome?
Frankly, I must confess I would struggle to continue to work for a boss in that manner. However if continuance of employment is required then the steps to take will be slightly different to if employment was not required as such.
Therefore what is the desired outcome? Once you know that, you can then plan what steps to take.
Forgive me but I only skim read the thread, a Grievance was lodged, what happened?
Desired outcome? The first question to be asked of yourself and your OH is what is the desired outcome?
Frankly, I must confess I would struggle to continue to work for a boss in that manner. However if continuance of employment is required then the steps to take will be slightly different to if employment was not required as such.
Therefore what is the desired outcome? Once you know that, you can then plan what steps to take.
Forgive me but I only skim read the thread, a Grievance was lodged, what happened?
To go to work and get on with her job without the constant grief and upsetting comments/jokes or constantly feeling like they're trying to push her out and picking up every little thing?
It seems they've changed policies right in front of her too but that "could" be just unfortunate timing.
A job where you go in, do your job without worrying about being upset/hassled, go home and get paid. Not sure that's too much to ask but maybe it is...
Response to the grievance? On paper/officially- f
k all. NadaOk, it may be that your desired outcome is not possible. The question then is best and worst case scenarios and finding somewhere in the middle........
Certainly in the absence of any official action about the Grievance (was it sent with the words "formal Grievance" or using the policy?) then action or realistic and correct action seems unlikely.
Certainly in the absence of any official action about the Grievance (was it sent with the words "formal Grievance" or using the policy?) then action or realistic and correct action seems unlikely.
Panamax said:
Don't be so patronising Panamax
No, no and no. There are grownups offering guidance in this thread.
And the 'grown up approach has gotten where?No, no and no. There are grownups offering guidance in this thread.
Suggesting signing off sick? Why should this poor lady have to hide away because of a toxic culture? Sat at home alone think over why your there and he's at work?
Ringing organisations anonymously to avoid rocking the boat? The boats well and truly rocked by the idiot boss.
To me there's too much office culture, softly softy approach for a company that as OP has said is a company that is seemingly jobs for the boys/family members.
There's nothing childish about going to the source of the problem and dealing with it in 10 mins flat. The guys a bully, pound a to a penny when challeneged by a bloke he turns into a quivering mess
Edited by sfella on Friday 14th June 18:27
Edited by sfella on Friday 14th June 18:28
Jasandjules said:
Ok, it may be that your desired outcome is not possible. The question then is best and worst case scenarios and finding somewhere in the middle........
Certainly in the absence of any official action about the Grievance (was it sent with the words "formal Grievance" or using the policy?) then action or realistic and correct action seems unlikely.
Sorry, when I say nothing happened to the grievance, they followed all the stages of a formal grievance procedure but decided to do nothing. (Apart from refuse a companion) Certainly in the absence of any official action about the Grievance (was it sent with the words "formal Grievance" or using the policy?) then action or realistic and correct action seems unlikely.
Their reasoning for refusal of companion was because they (HR And management) said were going to treat it as an informal grievance (despite the letter saying "formal grievance" in the first line).
They then later decided it WAS a formal grievance but they never spoke with my wife about the matter again in any other hearing where she had the opportunity to bring a companion.
The proposed resolution of the grievance was dismissed as not possible "because he has to be your manager, that's just how it is". And the points raised in the grievance were replied to as "cannot uphold" and "therefore the matter was closed".
ETA: I've received your reply to my DM and will get back in touch with you shortly once I've collated everything. Might need to be Monday evening now. Thankyou
Edited by Ambleton on Friday 14th June 18:46
sfella said:
To me there's too much office culture, softly softy approach for a company that as OP has said is a company that is seemingly jobs for the boys/family members.
There's nothing childish about going to the source of the problem and dealing with it in 10 mins flat. The guys a bully, pound a to a penny when challeneged by a bloke he turns into a quivering mess
Sorry this isn't 1985.There's nothing childish about going to the source of the problem and dealing with it in 10 mins flat. The guys a bully, pound a to a penny when challeneged by a bloke he turns into a quivering mess
You can't go charging in to a workplace (where you are not an employee) and challenge the managers. It's easy for them to call the police and state they feel threatened for assault by a random stranger who has got into their workplace. However tempting, this is a dispute between the employee and the employer.
Another thing I considered, which would be interesting to see (and make their lives very difficult), was to submit a GDPR request for data, including a request for all teams messages and emails that identify my wife as an individual as a data subject.
I know sender/receiver and all other personal information would need to be redacted, but it would be fairly telling. I'm willing to bet there's a huge amount of messages between her boss and his other pals in the office/factory about her, he is stupid enough to believe they're not accessible.
I know sender/receiver and all other personal information would need to be redacted, but it would be fairly telling. I'm willing to bet there's a huge amount of messages between her boss and his other pals in the office/factory about her, he is stupid enough to believe they're not accessible.
I think that's a Subject Access Request
https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/make-a-subject-a...
Although I'd be surprised if it were honestly fulfilled.
https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/make-a-subject-a...
Although I'd be surprised if it were honestly fulfilled.
loskie said:
I think that's a Subject Access Request
https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/make-a-subject-a...
Although I'd be surprised if it were honestly fulfilled.
Ah yes, You're right, I was trying to remember the exact terminology. https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/make-a-subject-a...
Although I'd be surprised if it were honestly fulfilled.
I do know of a HR specialist who is only £75 an hour if that helps. S
We used her recently - as the employer not the employee but she can work for both sides.
Based in wales, but she did everything on the phone, with the possibility of zoom etc if needed. Can pass in details if you PM me
We used her recently - as the employer not the employee but she can work for both sides.
Based in wales, but she did everything on the phone, with the possibility of zoom etc if needed. Can pass in details if you PM me
Can I say something without being shot down OP?
Make sure what you are doing/aiming for is what your wife wants, not what YOU want or what YOU THINK she wants.
It's quite easy to have that red mist and get carried away.
I'm not saying this is the case just please be aware.
I may be speaking from a little experience here.
You certainly need legal advice, someone who can help deal with it without the emotional attachment.
Make sure what you are doing/aiming for is what your wife wants, not what YOU want or what YOU THINK she wants.
It's quite easy to have that red mist and get carried away.
I'm not saying this is the case just please be aware.
I may be speaking from a little experience here.
You certainly need legal advice, someone who can help deal with it without the emotional attachment.
That's a very fair and astute question.
Ultimately what she wants, as JasandJules has suggested, might not be possible at this stage, because essentially what she wants is her boss to magically change his personality and more clarity/direction/understanding from the business.
The more relevant question is: if what she wants isn't possible, what are the alternatives...
And that's where we've currently got to:
A- Put up with it (very high stress/worry, poor treatment, they get away Scott free)
B- Resign (they get away Scott free + less financially sensible)
C- Get signed off sick/stress (less stress/worry, my wife "gets a name for herself" + they get away Scott free)
I'm hoping that with some help a few other options will become available. The common theme of all of the above scenarios is they get away free of charge and aren't going change - and that bugs me. Ultimately the only thing that REALLY matters is her and babies welfare.
Any other options will involve varying degrees of stress, financial commitment, and the company drawing up the drawbridge and being a dick. (Or they see fault in their ways and apologise - unlikely, but not impossible. Depends if the business owners get involved I think).
Ultimately what she wants, as JasandJules has suggested, might not be possible at this stage, because essentially what she wants is her boss to magically change his personality and more clarity/direction/understanding from the business.
The more relevant question is: if what she wants isn't possible, what are the alternatives...
And that's where we've currently got to:
A- Put up with it (very high stress/worry, poor treatment, they get away Scott free)
B- Resign (they get away Scott free + less financially sensible)
C- Get signed off sick/stress (less stress/worry, my wife "gets a name for herself" + they get away Scott free)
I'm hoping that with some help a few other options will become available. The common theme of all of the above scenarios is they get away free of charge and aren't going change - and that bugs me. Ultimately the only thing that REALLY matters is her and babies welfare.
Any other options will involve varying degrees of stress, financial commitment, and the company drawing up the drawbridge and being a dick. (Or they see fault in their ways and apologise - unlikely, but not impossible. Depends if the business owners get involved I think).
Minor update. Stress appears to be pouring in from all angles at the moment.
Priority 1 is welfare of wife + baby.
Priority 2 is is me - I had an emergency operation yesterday and I'm in a bit of a worse state than I thought I'd be. Post op I put an SOS call and my mum got the train down late last night to help out for as long as required. (She's very good at disaster management. I felt mean separating her from my dad and the dog for a few days but they're both a chaotic and manic which wouldn't be helpful right now)
Priority 3 is one of our pets fell ill last week. He's a guinea pig. I know a lot of people see them as big hamsters but he's in the house and a lovely animal that is a shame to see him in this state. He's been to the vets and we've got medicine to administer. It sounds horrible but he's low down the pecking order at the moment so whatever will be will be.
Lastly we have all my wife's work shenanigans. Just to temporarily stem that rediculous and unnecessary noise stream at the moment she's got a 2wk sick note from the docs.
Due to my operation I'm going to be mostly out of action for two to four weeks. I can't drive for at least 2 weeks and I'm off work for 4 weeks and no heavy lifting (a kettle of water) for 4 weeks either.
Priority 1 is welfare of wife + baby.
Priority 2 is is me - I had an emergency operation yesterday and I'm in a bit of a worse state than I thought I'd be. Post op I put an SOS call and my mum got the train down late last night to help out for as long as required. (She's very good at disaster management. I felt mean separating her from my dad and the dog for a few days but they're both a chaotic and manic which wouldn't be helpful right now)
Priority 3 is one of our pets fell ill last week. He's a guinea pig. I know a lot of people see them as big hamsters but he's in the house and a lovely animal that is a shame to see him in this state. He's been to the vets and we've got medicine to administer. It sounds horrible but he's low down the pecking order at the moment so whatever will be will be.
Lastly we have all my wife's work shenanigans. Just to temporarily stem that rediculous and unnecessary noise stream at the moment she's got a 2wk sick note from the docs.
Due to my operation I'm going to be mostly out of action for two to four weeks. I can't drive for at least 2 weeks and I'm off work for 4 weeks and no heavy lifting (a kettle of water) for 4 weeks either.
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