Issues at work - pregnancy/miscarriage related

[Ambleton]

MrSmith901 said:

Shocking behaviour from your wife's boss and the company in general. I'm not sure I'd even try and defend it and say something about old fashioned attitudes, it's just general human decency that is lacking here.

Her boss is a year or two younger than she is. He's in his early 30s. He's a horrible person. Only ever had one "real" job. Went straight from uni into the company and has been there for 11years I think. Everyone seems to love him and thinks the sun shines out his arse.

[sam.rog]

Do you have legal cover with your house insurance? Would it be worth contacting them?

[Ambleton]

sam.rog said:

Do you have legal cover with your house insurance? Would it be worth contacting them?

Already checked - it doesn't - I'm cheap when it comes to home insurance.

[chewie2606]

Hi

Although not a HR specialist by any means, but from what you've described they appear to be dangerously close to breaking and ignoring some basic employment laws and guidelines, I genuinely feel for you and your wife.

You've mentioned you have started writing everything down that has happened, please please carry on doing this as in my experience a clear timeline of every event/conversation/email/meeting etc is vital if and when it comes to an investigation or tribunal along with physical evidence such as emails, documentation.

If your wife a member of a Union? If yes they should be all over this, if not research and join the most appropriate one for her trade.

Finally Citizens Advice should be able to help with some clear advice and direction.

I wish you both well

[Panamax]

chewie2606 said:

If your wife a member of a Union? If yes they should be all over this, if not research and join the most appropriate one for her trade.

Yes, I almost made this point in my earlier post but let it go.

[Mortarboard]

My sympathies for you both. I'm sure this is stressful in the extreme.

So it looks like (being kind here) the company is unaware of their obligations to your wife. You've tried the usual internal routes and got no-where.

I'm going to assume you're in england/Wales. If not, let me know.

You do have options, some easier than others

First off, you can contact the HSE to find out what is appropriate for your wife in terms of H&S. You can contact them free (and confidentially of you wish)
https://www.hse.gov.uk/contact/ask-us-about-health...

This is purely for advice- the enforcement stuff is separate. I wouldn't give your details at this stage, the hse is obligated to investgate/prosecute, so may "encourage" your wife to provide enough details in order to do that. You can tell them youre justvlooking for info at this stage. If the hse knocks on the company door asking about pregnant employees, it won't take a genius to work it out!

At least your wife will know how her pregnancy should be handled. Proceed from there as you see fit.

From what you've presented, it's clearly being mishandled. Also let your/her GP/obs know what's going on.

Feel free to PM if you wish. I'm not currently based in the uk, but could point you in the right direction.

M.

[Ambleton]

Panamax said:

chewie2606 said:

If your wife a member of a Union? If yes they should be all over this, if not research and join the most appropriate one for her trade.

Yes, I almost made this point in my earlier post but let it go.

Thanks, she isn't but there is a union that the factory workers are in - Unite.

[Muzzer79]

Have you spoken to ACAS?

[Ambleton]

Muzzer79 said:

Have you spoken to ACAS?

No, this is the first time we've "opened it up to the floor" for ideas/suggestions.

I will make contact

[loskie]

That is a horrible situation to be in
Best wishes to you both.

[Alex Z]

That has “employment tribunal” written all over it.

I hope they see sense and the pregnancy goes smoothly from now on, but document everything that happens.

[Ambleton]

Thanks all - I have DMd JasandJules so hopefully will hear something back.

And yes, central England for location.

[RSTurboPaul]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss and the current situation. It is good that you both had a chance to spend some time with your daughter. Those moments are far too short but will be with you both for the rest of your life. It is amazing how perfectly formed they are at that age.

Speak to Sands if you have not done so already. They may or may not be able to offer any advice regarding the work situation but are specialists in support for those dealing with such a bereavement, including both you and your wife and also any other family members. There is unfortunately a considerable number of people who have gone through what you both have so don't be afraid to seek out help.

It can be difficult to plan ahead when you are uncertain of outcomes, but look at picking up an Owlet Smart Sock and tucking it away - if all goes to plan (everything crossed) then the smart sock adds a layer of reassurance and can help you sleep better.

Make sure you print and distribute copies of all the photos!

[Ambleton]

RSTurboPaul said:

I am very sorry to hear of your loss and the current situation. It is good that you both had a chance to spend some time with your daughter. Those moments are far too short but will be with you both for the rest of your life. It is amazing how perfectly formed they are at that age.

Speak to Sands if you have not done so already. They may or may not be able to offer any advice regarding the work situation but are specialists in support for those dealing with such a bereavement, including both you and your wife and also any other family members. There is unfortunately a considerable number of people who have gone through what you both have so don't be afraid to seek out help.

It can be difficult to plan ahead when you are uncertain of outcomes, but look at picking up an Owlet Smart Sock and tucking it away - if all goes to plan (everything crossed) then the smart sock adds a layer of reassurance and can help you sleep better.

Make sure you print and distribute copies of all the photos!

Thanks, SANDS and the NHS midwifery bereavement team have been absolutely excellent. Our local NHS trust has won various awards and has been recognised for it's excellence, and I can absolutely see why.

They haven't really offered anything up in terms of recent work relations, but it might be worth an ask. My wife is still having specialist bereavement counselling. I think it's once a month or 6wks, mainly just to "check in" and see how she's getting on really. I might suggest she brings it up at her next meeting.

And you're right, there are an alarmingly high number of miscarriages, still births and cot deaths. I think overall 1in4 pregnancies have "issues". After 20wks that goes to something like 1in100. The docs/specialists said there's no rhyme or reason. Bad things just happen sometimes. That's hard to come to terms with as she's constantly thinking "was it this/that?", "what did I do?", "could I have done something different?"

I have never heard of an Owlet smart sock so will investigate - thankyou.

Edited by Ambleton on Thursday 13th June 06:45

[RSTurboPaul]

I think it is always the case (not just in this situation) that the 'what ifs' can drive one slightly crazy.

I hope you can both reach a place of peace and contemplation in the end, and that with time, what has happened can fit into your life stories as one of life's (more difficult) experiences, even if it will never really make 100% sense.

I hope that we do have somewhere to go after we go through the final curtain of this life, it would be lovely to meet those we lost.

[valiant]

Ambleton said:

Thanks, she isn't but there is a union that the factory workers are in - Unite.

Find the local rep and have a quiet word.

They should be able to unofficially advise on the best course of action and it may be worth joining the union upon speaking to the rep as she’ll then have access to legal advisory services.

[Nezquick]

Alex Z said:

That has “employment tribunal” written all over it.

I hope they see sense and the pregnancy goes smoothly from now on, but document everything that happens.

I completely agree - her boss sounds abhorrent and I wish the OP and his partner the best of luck.

At the very least, i'd be asking her GP to sign her off with "stress" for the foreseeable future, lodge a formal grievance with HR setting out the full facts, and make some noises about the Equality Act, Constructive Dismissal and that you are seeking legal advice and will be in touch.

There is no way any company/manager should treat a pregnant employee that way (or any employee for that matter).

[loskie]

I don't think this has been asked but has this been escalated WELL above your wife's manager's head to DIRECTOR level. They should be ashamed of their management and may be unaware of his behaviour.

[vaud]

valiant said:

Find the local rep and have a quiet word.

They should be able to unofficially advise on the best course of action and it may be worth joining the union upon speaking to the rep as she’ll then have access to legal advisory services.

IIRC they won't deal with pre-existing issues but might give informal advice.

As noted, I would start with ACAS.

[Ambleton]

Nezquick said:

At the very least, i'd be asking her GP to sign her off with "stress" for the foreseeable future, lodge a formal grievance with HR setting out the full facts, and make some noises about the Equality Act, Constructive Dismissal and that you are seeking legal advice and will be in touch.

All of this was set out and mentioned in the previous grievance submitted in March. (Although this was before the existing current pregnancy).

In the hearing she requested a female colleague/pal to be present and this was refused because "this is only an informal chat" (this was the only meeting where they actually spoke/listened to her directly). Later they decided it was a formal complaint. There was then a discussion with said manager and then there was another meeting chaired by the quality manager which she wasn't invited to or privvy to.

After that meeting a letter was sent to her stating "none of the points of the grievance letter could be upheld and the matter was now considered closed".

She appealed this but then later withdrew as her bosses boss had assured her it had been dealt with and the letter was just a formality.

It all absolutely stinks.

It's so hard.

Ultimately she's the one that has to go into work every day and deal with it and he's a very popular staff member - god only knows why.

At any of the places I've worked at he'd be marched off the premises and told not to return and/or suspended without paying pending review.