El Beetle @ MIRA...
Discussion
What a thoroughly agreeable experience.
This half day package is sold through Porsche GB as The Porsche Driving Experience 1 and is tailored very much for those of us who realise that we are in fact, sh1t drivers in the great scheme of things.
Starting off at the utterly breathtaking Coombe Abbey, I rolled up at 0730 hours following [i]progress[/i] dowmn the M6 Toll Autobahn.
There was the breakfast rendezvous with your typical Porsche owner: blokes in their 50s who seem to have more of the folding than Gordon Brown and even more time on their hands with which to indulge their second rush of youth. This in itself was perhaps unremarkable until I realised that the gent I was breaking croissant with was none other than Le Mans veteran (and 1970 co-winner) Richard Attwood who was the very essence of genteel, English reserve.
I felt like apologising for sullying his table but before I could skulk off to the kitchen to make merry with the brass cleaners, we were roused to the off.
What makes this day so excellent is that each participant is allocated an instructor for the whole time, invariably somebody from 'the industry' with copious ability in the wheel twirling department.
Lord Attwood was actually teamed up with another driver but I found myself with an ex-Prodrive Johnny.
First off, the 20 minute drive to MIRA along regular roads and a large dollop of J.Stewart PPD (Priciples of Performance Driving) in action: road positioning, vehicle speed/limit point analysis and other minor 'tyre & tarmac' type techniques were all brought to the fore and as with any advanced driver type, although very simple in methodology, you soon discover a treasure trove of disciplines which may seem bleedin' obvious but to which 95% of other road users are clearly, entirely oblivious.
Then the secret military base aka MIRA itself and you know that when the first car you see is a thinly veiled Veyron, things are looking good...
First up was a small entree of track technique: line making, turning in and braking along part of the Dunlop circuit and to familiarise us, we needed something capable of thrilling 3 punters at a time: oh yes, the newly empowered Cayenne Turbo should do nicely.
Sitting in the back, unsure as to whether I should do The Times crossword or dispense white powder to my co-riders (whilst rapping simultaneously), things suddenly went errily quiet as this highly refined, design carbuncle proceeded to reduce myself and two other hitherto 'seen it all' merchants into barely restrained fits of whoop and dribble.
I tell you now, if you slate this vehicle, you are an idiot: it is [i][b]PHENOMENAL![/b][/i]
Please, please, please - reserve jusdgement until you have been driven in one - on a track, by a racer type. It is monumentally hilarious.
Then it was the beetle's turn and eventually, all signs of mild understeer were banished as finally, the right combinations of tillage, bootage and breakage combined to serve up that scintillating cocktail of 911ism that seasoned veterans of the GT and Clubsportian dispositions will be all too familiar with...just, just [i]fabulous.[/i]
Simon, my instructor, took little persuading to take over and after an exploratory 10 or 20 yards was utterly caning the damn thing; with perefect lines and blippage aplenty, the air cooler was going through a multiple, automotive orgasm and I was delighted to see someone who could, finally unfold some of the car's potential. Afterwards, he was full of praise for the thing and reckoned that with decent tyres it could be a real contender on track. This was good news indeed.
The next 'module' of the day involved no driving whatsoever, instead, 45 minutes of sitting on an inflatable gonad with a 'Sports Scientist.'
Hmmm...
Actually, no, it was fascinating: although slightly irrelevant to the Hush Puppy 911 cognoscentist mit X pack gut, I learned an awful lot about the the physics of motor sport and the impact on the human body which even for amatuers 'pressing on' had some resonance.
The young chap in charge was currently Jensen Button's spiritual leader and detailed analyses of just how fit and balanced these guys are.
For example, Button's Monacco tunnel scrape resulted in some preposterous g force which would undoubtedly have killed the average Joe: there was a machine in the room which measured reaction times to peripherally visualised stimulants and it took three of us to just equal what Jensen achieves alone in a 60 second period.
The inflated balls which were someway short of the regular Lazy Boy recliners that one calls home, served to demonstrate the F1 driver's balance and formidable strength: whilst I struggled to remain upright with both feet on the floor and several rungs of McAlpine scaffolding in support, it turns out that old Jens can sit there with his feet raised up, eating a Cantonese whilst playing Grand Turismo and resisting the force of our training chap trying vigorously to push him off the ball by way of forcing his head from the side, against neck muscles from Asgard, it would seem.
Fscinating but ultiamtely too much like hard work, we were rescued by the instructors who bade us drive out to the braking striaght.
There, a brand new 997 proceeded to demonstrate the stopping power from just 50 mph using ceramic brakes and all of us underestimated quite how effective these things are.
Then, using the cones and inflatable bus routine, it was time to check out our ABSs, starting at 50 and building up to almost 70mph by the end: merciless brake abuse and the ultimate in trust to technology before the benefits of this system, oft taken for granted, came into clear and profound focus.
MIRA use some slippy tiled surface with the mew factor of ice for the next bit and suddenly, as normally sensational brakes were rendered all but useless, it was a real eye opener to feel the almost total abscence of retardive force. Phew!
Then, on the same sequence but with half the car on and half off the slippy stuff, how much better the braking was and finally, the noble art of porpoising and why PSM is so remarkable - and my capabilities are not!
At only 20mph, the turn in-blip-slide/catch-blip/turn back in-blip sequence looked easy but it proved almost impossible to avoid an embarassing sequence of perpetual pirouetting.
This frustrating section finally gave way to the real skid pan section and a large circular feature with increasingly slippery surfaces as the radii tightened.
Probably the best bit of the day, this: Simon got to grips with the beetle pretty quickly and in no time was delicately navigating the whole circumferance with a masterful, 45 degree nonchalance. Going clockwise and anticlockwise, I soon discovered the joys of this simple practice, a practice which I'm confident, had it been allowed to spiral beyond MIRA's stiflingly imposed time slots, would have made some sort of perfect.
All in all, it was some 6 hours' worth of hugely intense, concentrated technique development and whilst preposterously expensive for what it is (£500 or so per session), I reckon worth that several times over for what it gave me ito overal car craft and control.
Suitably armed, I bade my farewells and bolted north, happy to feel even minutely touched by the magic dust of driving pros pasdt and present.
I would hugely recommend it, as would Greater Manchester Police, who fully accept the irrelevance of trifling matters like the NSL to those who have breakfasted with greatness!
On, ON!!!
This half day package is sold through Porsche GB as The Porsche Driving Experience 1 and is tailored very much for those of us who realise that we are in fact, sh1t drivers in the great scheme of things.
Starting off at the utterly breathtaking Coombe Abbey, I rolled up at 0730 hours following [i]progress[/i] dowmn the M6 Toll Autobahn.
There was the breakfast rendezvous with your typical Porsche owner: blokes in their 50s who seem to have more of the folding than Gordon Brown and even more time on their hands with which to indulge their second rush of youth. This in itself was perhaps unremarkable until I realised that the gent I was breaking croissant with was none other than Le Mans veteran (and 1970 co-winner) Richard Attwood who was the very essence of genteel, English reserve.
I felt like apologising for sullying his table but before I could skulk off to the kitchen to make merry with the brass cleaners, we were roused to the off.
What makes this day so excellent is that each participant is allocated an instructor for the whole time, invariably somebody from 'the industry' with copious ability in the wheel twirling department.
Lord Attwood was actually teamed up with another driver but I found myself with an ex-Prodrive Johnny.
First off, the 20 minute drive to MIRA along regular roads and a large dollop of J.Stewart PPD (Priciples of Performance Driving) in action: road positioning, vehicle speed/limit point analysis and other minor 'tyre & tarmac' type techniques were all brought to the fore and as with any advanced driver type, although very simple in methodology, you soon discover a treasure trove of disciplines which may seem bleedin' obvious but to which 95% of other road users are clearly, entirely oblivious.
Then the secret military base aka MIRA itself and you know that when the first car you see is a thinly veiled Veyron, things are looking good...
First up was a small entree of track technique: line making, turning in and braking along part of the Dunlop circuit and to familiarise us, we needed something capable of thrilling 3 punters at a time: oh yes, the newly empowered Cayenne Turbo should do nicely.
Sitting in the back, unsure as to whether I should do The Times crossword or dispense white powder to my co-riders (whilst rapping simultaneously), things suddenly went errily quiet as this highly refined, design carbuncle proceeded to reduce myself and two other hitherto 'seen it all' merchants into barely restrained fits of whoop and dribble.
I tell you now, if you slate this vehicle, you are an idiot: it is [i][b]PHENOMENAL![/b][/i]
Please, please, please - reserve jusdgement until you have been driven in one - on a track, by a racer type. It is monumentally hilarious.
Then it was the beetle's turn and eventually, all signs of mild understeer were banished as finally, the right combinations of tillage, bootage and breakage combined to serve up that scintillating cocktail of 911ism that seasoned veterans of the GT and Clubsportian dispositions will be all too familiar with...just, just [i]fabulous.[/i]
Simon, my instructor, took little persuading to take over and after an exploratory 10 or 20 yards was utterly caning the damn thing; with perefect lines and blippage aplenty, the air cooler was going through a multiple, automotive orgasm and I was delighted to see someone who could, finally unfold some of the car's potential. Afterwards, he was full of praise for the thing and reckoned that with decent tyres it could be a real contender on track. This was good news indeed.
The next 'module' of the day involved no driving whatsoever, instead, 45 minutes of sitting on an inflatable gonad with a 'Sports Scientist.'
Hmmm...
Actually, no, it was fascinating: although slightly irrelevant to the Hush Puppy 911 cognoscentist mit X pack gut, I learned an awful lot about the the physics of motor sport and the impact on the human body which even for amatuers 'pressing on' had some resonance.
The young chap in charge was currently Jensen Button's spiritual leader and detailed analyses of just how fit and balanced these guys are.
For example, Button's Monacco tunnel scrape resulted in some preposterous g force which would undoubtedly have killed the average Joe: there was a machine in the room which measured reaction times to peripherally visualised stimulants and it took three of us to just equal what Jensen achieves alone in a 60 second period.
The inflated balls which were someway short of the regular Lazy Boy recliners that one calls home, served to demonstrate the F1 driver's balance and formidable strength: whilst I struggled to remain upright with both feet on the floor and several rungs of McAlpine scaffolding in support, it turns out that old Jens can sit there with his feet raised up, eating a Cantonese whilst playing Grand Turismo and resisting the force of our training chap trying vigorously to push him off the ball by way of forcing his head from the side, against neck muscles from Asgard, it would seem.
Fscinating but ultiamtely too much like hard work, we were rescued by the instructors who bade us drive out to the braking striaght.
There, a brand new 997 proceeded to demonstrate the stopping power from just 50 mph using ceramic brakes and all of us underestimated quite how effective these things are.
Then, using the cones and inflatable bus routine, it was time to check out our ABSs, starting at 50 and building up to almost 70mph by the end: merciless brake abuse and the ultimate in trust to technology before the benefits of this system, oft taken for granted, came into clear and profound focus.
MIRA use some slippy tiled surface with the mew factor of ice for the next bit and suddenly, as normally sensational brakes were rendered all but useless, it was a real eye opener to feel the almost total abscence of retardive force. Phew!
Then, on the same sequence but with half the car on and half off the slippy stuff, how much better the braking was and finally, the noble art of porpoising and why PSM is so remarkable - and my capabilities are not!
At only 20mph, the turn in-blip-slide/catch-blip/turn back in-blip sequence looked easy but it proved almost impossible to avoid an embarassing sequence of perpetual pirouetting.
This frustrating section finally gave way to the real skid pan section and a large circular feature with increasingly slippery surfaces as the radii tightened.
Probably the best bit of the day, this: Simon got to grips with the beetle pretty quickly and in no time was delicately navigating the whole circumferance with a masterful, 45 degree nonchalance. Going clockwise and anticlockwise, I soon discovered the joys of this simple practice, a practice which I'm confident, had it been allowed to spiral beyond MIRA's stiflingly imposed time slots, would have made some sort of perfect.
All in all, it was some 6 hours' worth of hugely intense, concentrated technique development and whilst preposterously expensive for what it is (£500 or so per session), I reckon worth that several times over for what it gave me ito overal car craft and control.
Suitably armed, I bade my farewells and bolted north, happy to feel even minutely touched by the magic dust of driving pros pasdt and present.
I would hugely recommend it, as would Greater Manchester Police, who fully accept the irrelevance of trifling matters like the NSL to those who have breakfasted with greatness!
On, ON!!!
Sounds like a great day...quite a lot to of information take in , in a short period of time, no doubt you can practice the skills learnt on road.....and track?
Have to agree with the instructor on tyres,,, as I mentioned before the "cheap" Dunlop SSR would be ideal,,,currently used to good effect on road/track by some of the quicker GT2 drivers...oh and me!
>> Edited by clubsport on Monday 8th August 14:04
Have to agree with the instructor on tyres,,, as I mentioned before the "cheap" Dunlop SSR would be ideal,,,currently used to good effect on road/track by some of the quicker GT2 drivers...oh and me!
>> Edited by clubsport on Monday 8th August 14:04
Richard Attwood is an absolute star. I attended a Fusion event years ago (with Roger Clark, Tony Lanfranchi, Tony Trimmer, Oliver Gavin and other notables). It was a Porsche / Audi day at Millbrook and I nearly bought an S6 after the day...
Richard told me about getting the keys to Stuttgart after winning Porsches first Le Mans victory and Tony Trimmer (a favourite of my petrol-headed father) was awesome on the handling track in a 911. Old racers are brilliant company and many still have a turn of speed in them!
A bit like your car Simon!
Richard told me about getting the keys to Stuttgart after winning Porsches first Le Mans victory and Tony Trimmer (a favourite of my petrol-headed father) was awesome on the handling track in a 911. Old racers are brilliant company and many still have a turn of speed in them!
A bit like your car Simon!
MIRA's array of surfaces are great, aren't they! 
Met Dickie Atwood once... perched on the nose of a 917, the foot cover removed to show how vulnerable the drivers legs were in the event of a crash. Thoroughly agreeable gent.
I take it the Beetle will be with you for a little longer...
Met Dickie Atwood once... perched on the nose of a 917, the foot cover removed to show how vulnerable the drivers legs were in the event of a crash. Thoroughly agreeable gent.
I take it the Beetle will be with you for a little longer...
Thanks for posting that DeR. A great read, although it does make me concerned that that I may have ballsed up big time:
When I bought my car back in 2002, as part of the deal Porsche GB offered me a free days driving tuition....... assuming it would involve some self righteous road safety tw@t telling me to slow down all the time I didn't take them up on their offer. By the looks of it, I screwed up big time......
DAZ
When I bought my car back in 2002, as part of the deal Porsche GB offered me a free days driving tuition....... assuming it would involve some self righteous road safety tw@t telling me to slow down all the time I didn't take them up on their offer. By the looks of it, I screwed up big time......
DAZ
That would be a yes then Daz
http://www2.uk.porsche.com/english/gbr/news/drivingschool/default.htm
They do loads of different events..............
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