Motivation, Achievement and Sacrifices
Discussion
So on one hand you seem to berate the fact you no longer cycle as much as you do and work 16 hour days in a (from my experience there) rather hot, asbestos filled, dark basement.
But on the other you seem as though you believe doing this has enriched your life, allowed you to work overtime, and are glad of it because you cant spend as much time cycling and have more time for family, and you got a car you always wanted.
Hope the hours you've spent slaving away for no appreciation what so ever other than from yourself believing you're making a real difference in the world are worth it
But on the other you seem as though you believe doing this has enriched your life, allowed you to work overtime, and are glad of it because you cant spend as much time cycling and have more time for family, and you got a car you always wanted.
Hope the hours you've spent slaving away for no appreciation what so ever other than from yourself believing you're making a real difference in the world are worth it
You made choices at the time that felt right to you then, can’t change them.
If you’ve since realised that your priorities have changed and time with family is a better use of your time, then embrace and don’t worry about past choices.
Life is all about balance! Family time, for me, is the most important thing, but that doesn’t mean I won’t allocate a few hours every weekend for a ride as that is important to me too.
If you’ve since realised that your priorities have changed and time with family is a better use of your time, then embrace and don’t worry about past choices.
Life is all about balance! Family time, for me, is the most important thing, but that doesn’t mean I won’t allocate a few hours every weekend for a ride as that is important to me too.
Life happens, priorities change.
I was in a similar place about 10 years ago when I used to run (not cycle) pretty regularly. Nothing at the professional level but I would do a minimum of 10k a day and spend over 3 hours a day in the gym, 6 days a week. I was so committed I've even left work dos in the evening after a single pint to go to the gym and get the workout in.
Then I got married and everything changed, but so gradually I didn't realise how much. The gym sessions dropped in intensity, duration and ultimately frequency. I had more important things in life like a relationship, financial responsibilities and career progression to focus on so giving up a good chunk of my waking hours to focus on my fitness in a non professional capacity took a backseat.
Today, I'm several kilos heavier but have a loving wife, 2 kids, a wonderful home and a fairly competitive and well paid job. I've recently got into cycling to regain some of my fitness and aim to get in rides most days but don't beat myself up if it doesn't happen. There's always tomorrow and I'm sure the reason I didn't go on that ride is because I didn't want to, and had more important things to take care of.
I was in a similar place about 10 years ago when I used to run (not cycle) pretty regularly. Nothing at the professional level but I would do a minimum of 10k a day and spend over 3 hours a day in the gym, 6 days a week. I was so committed I've even left work dos in the evening after a single pint to go to the gym and get the workout in.
Then I got married and everything changed, but so gradually I didn't realise how much. The gym sessions dropped in intensity, duration and ultimately frequency. I had more important things in life like a relationship, financial responsibilities and career progression to focus on so giving up a good chunk of my waking hours to focus on my fitness in a non professional capacity took a backseat.
Today, I'm several kilos heavier but have a loving wife, 2 kids, a wonderful home and a fairly competitive and well paid job. I've recently got into cycling to regain some of my fitness and aim to get in rides most days but don't beat myself up if it doesn't happen. There's always tomorrow and I'm sure the reason I didn't go on that ride is because I didn't want to, and had more important things to take care of.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
This is the real world. 16 hours a day at work isn't a sustainable way to live ... he's basically replaced the cycling hours with work, I get that. But the work probably isn't adding to his mental wellbing and certainly not adding to his physical wellbeing when compared to cycling. What happens if he dies of a heart attack due to stress tomorrow? What has it all been for? A wife and kids left without a husband/Dad ... no career, Smallbone kitchen, GT3 or Petek Phelipe is worth an early demise.
Its about quality of life (i.e. balance) ... something that generally people below 40 don't seem to grasp ... I know I didn't. I assumed in my 20's and 30's that I'd be able to work like that until retirement ...
My theory. Too many of us are engaged in “goal oriented cycling” especially roadies when the goal is, as you found out, irrelevant. Trying to get to 3rd cat because it’s better than 4th cat but knowing 2nd cat is never going to happen. Buying shiny things to save a few watts but then having to miss a training session because work takes priority. Striving for a “gold” time on a sportive but knowing to do so will probably mean dropping your mates on the hill.
The answer. Do something different. Go to a trail centre, hire a bike if you don’t have one suitable, ride trails and experience something new. Go to a velodrome, buy a cheap gravel bike, dig out an OS map and go explore bridle ways nearby.
The answer. Do something different. Go to a trail centre, hire a bike if you don’t have one suitable, ride trails and experience something new. Go to a velodrome, buy a cheap gravel bike, dig out an OS map and go explore bridle ways nearby.
JEA1K said:
This is the real world. 16 hours a day at work isn't a sustainable way to live ... he's basically replaced the cycling hours with work, I get that. But the work probably isn't adding to his mental wellbing and certainly not adding to his physical wellbeing when compared to cycling.
What happens if he dies of a heart attack due to stress tomorrow? What has it all been for? A wife and kids left without a husband/Dad ... no career, Smallbone kitchen, GT3 or Petek Phelipe is worth an early demise.
Its about quality of life (i.e. balance) ... something that generally people below 40 don't seem to grasp ... I know I didn't. I assumed in my 20's and 30's that I'd be able to work like that until retirement ...
YeahWhat happens if he dies of a heart attack due to stress tomorrow? What has it all been for? A wife and kids left without a husband/Dad ... no career, Smallbone kitchen, GT3 or Petek Phelipe is worth an early demise.
Its about quality of life (i.e. balance) ... something that generally people below 40 don't seem to grasp ... I know I didn't. I assumed in my 20's and 30's that I'd be able to work like that until retirement ...
I am 32 and the hours worked in the OPs post are hours I used to do in my late 20s, 4 weeks solid on the trot, with a weekend off, back to doing 4 weeks again. on top of my 37 hour week I'd cover a couple of 16 hour, stressful days on a weekend, plus deal with some evening work too. I literally broke after losing my entire summer (year in fact) working like an absolute dog.
With the exception of some weekend migration work here and there (which is often more than 20 hours over a weekend) I try reign it in or strike some balance
I also strike some balance with cycling. I have no kids but have a house to run to try limit the cycling to 3 hrs, with evening blasts being an hour or so. Suspect when I have kids its game over although my intention is to avoid that. I also try to look ahead over the next 20 years and wonder what I am aiming for, in terms of cycling I don't want it to get out of hand but I do know the health benefit of cycling, be it on road or on the trail, really lift me up. Don't think I suffer from depression or anything but I do feel so much better for it. I do think people like the OP in his early 30s are trying to avoid something (most likely life).
I remember having 'a moment of clarity' in terms of my cycling many years ago - you can read the 'blog post I wrote about it here if you like ( m'blog), I think there are quite a few similarities with points you've picked out.
For me it was a couple of months after my wedding, aged 30, and with the clear knowledge that starting a family was coming up fast (our first son was born 11 months after I wrote that post) and I was about to move into my first mid-management role in my career. Ironically, I then replaced 'fun' with 'work', and after realising that had happened, have been trying hard to rebalance ever since!
Priorities change. Don't regret what you did in the past. The only thing you can change is what happens next!
For me it was a couple of months after my wedding, aged 30, and with the clear knowledge that starting a family was coming up fast (our first son was born 11 months after I wrote that post) and I was about to move into my first mid-management role in my career. Ironically, I then replaced 'fun' with 'work', and after realising that had happened, have been trying hard to rebalance ever since!
Priorities change. Don't regret what you did in the past. The only thing you can change is what happens next!
Edited by johnpsanderson on Friday 29th January 11:50
The 2012 cycling bubble has burst.
There was a massive uptake of cycling in 2012, everyone was getting on with cycling and the Wiggins hysteria with the Olympics, clubs were seeing a huge increase in new members, roads were filling with new cyclists.
For many, the novelty has worn off, people’s priorities changed, the new club members from 2012 stopped showing up on club rides a couple of years ago.
The cycle repeated itself last year with lockdown and everyone rushing out to get bikes, give it a couple of years and all those new bikes will be gathering dust.
There was a massive uptake of cycling in 2012, everyone was getting on with cycling and the Wiggins hysteria with the Olympics, clubs were seeing a huge increase in new members, roads were filling with new cyclists.
For many, the novelty has worn off, people’s priorities changed, the new club members from 2012 stopped showing up on club rides a couple of years ago.
The cycle repeated itself last year with lockdown and everyone rushing out to get bikes, give it a couple of years and all those new bikes will be gathering dust.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
My post was airned at the OP. I also get that people get obsessive about cycling which is just going to end in tears. Being obsessive over anything is unhealthily and ends up with people losing interest when they don't see progress (yourself as an example).
You need to have a target and enjoy the journey of achieving that target, otherwise its pointless. When I'm on our chaingang rides surrounded by people who race and a few that don't ... for those who don't race, I struggle to understand how those boys motivate themselves to go though so much pain. I don't think I'd bother.
Cycling just might have been a fad for you and now you're into something else ... you may come back to it in 2 years, 5 years .... it really doesn't matter, its your life, just do what makes you happy and don't let it take over.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I know you're keen to argue the point, but 4 or 5 days in a row at 16 hours a day is going to be stressful. Regardless of workload, just the travelling, sitting in a basement and lack of sleep is going lead to stress. Then, when you do get time off and the opportunity to recover, those days are, by your own admission, "rammed from morning to night with childcare". More stress. No spare time.As humans we only have capacity to balance so many things. You are, both consciously and sub-consciously, prioritising work and family commitments. After that you simply don't have the capacity to entertain anything else. Your brain has now classified cycling, both within your own life and other people's, as completely unimportant. Your lack of enthusiasm and disdain for your friends who are still cycling is just a manifestation of this.
As others have highlighted, your current work-life balance looks to be unsustainable. Once you get some time back for yourself, you may well find that your desire for cycling (or other hobbies) will return. That should be viewed as a healthy goal.
Be under no illusion Dizzeeeeeeeeee that just because YOU don't enjoy doing it anymore, it doesn't mean someone else doing so is wrong, and 'leaving life behind to cycle' sounds f
king great, I presume that is what they wanted to spend their time doing, good for them. I think you posted something just like this ages ago, and I could tell from the way this was written that it was you with a different name. Mcelliot is right.
This is why I recommend people DO race, for one it gives you a real world reality check on your ability, no offence intended, but you would see the gulf in ability between Ride London/club rides vs even a 2/3 cat race, let alone an e123. And more importantly, especially for you, it gives you a purpose for all the training. Of course no competition matters unless you're being paid to do it, but I can't even think about riding 10 hours a week without an eye on releasing all that training somewhere. I told you this a few years ago I think, its unsustainable to do a lot of anything if you don't know why you're doing it.
king great, I presume that is what they wanted to spend their time doing, good for them. I think you posted something just like this ages ago, and I could tell from the way this was written that it was you with a different name. Mcelliot is right. This is why I recommend people DO race, for one it gives you a real world reality check on your ability, no offence intended, but you would see the gulf in ability between Ride London/club rides vs even a 2/3 cat race, let alone an e123. And more importantly, especially for you, it gives you a purpose for all the training. Of course no competition matters unless you're being paid to do it, but I can't even think about riding 10 hours a week without an eye on releasing all that training somewhere. I told you this a few years ago I think, its unsustainable to do a lot of anything if you don't know why you're doing it.
Edited by okgo on Friday 29th January 15:36
Hmmm?
It's all "an obsession" in one form or another for me. I've never raced, never aimed for a 'Gold' time on a sportive, only ridden one sportive at all (RideLondon 2019). I've "raced" on my MTB, but that wasn't particularly serious either. Just local XC races and the Battle On The Beach because it's run where I spent a lot of time cycling while growing up.
My main obsessions are distance challenges (regardless of time taken) and riding as much of the country as I possibly can. I've ridden what I regard to be some of the most beautiful scenery in the UK. I'm also one of those annoying twunts on Strava that collects those silly digital challenge badges. I'll sign up to almost every challenge, even though a whole challenge can often be completed in one ride for me. Silly, I know, but it's mildly entertaining.
I'm not sure where this is going (if anywhere), but it just strikes me that almost any sport or hobby has an element of obsession about it. I think about all my lapsed hobbies/sports. Boxing and judo meant a lot of training just to hold your own in the ring or on the mat. Hockey meant giving up free time to training in order to give up more free time to play matches. Shooting the same. I could only shoot when there was someone willing to run a range so it was always when it was convenient for someone else. As a youngster it was Airfix model kits and military history books. I spent every penny of my pocket money and earnings from the milk and paper rounds I did on them, then joined the army and sold the books and the model kits just gathered dust until my younger siblings broke them all. Cycling, for me at least, wasn't about "fitting in" with someone else's timetable. It was my freedom. Something I could "just do" without relying on a booked match or training session, and something that, after the initial outlay on a bike, I could do pretty much for free. No match fees or club subs.
When i got back into cycling as an adult, after a couple of years away in Germany then getting married and starting a family, cycling was a casual, destress thing. It was only really when I found a regular cycling partner and bought a fancy modern bike for my 40th birthday in 2010 that I really started to record mileage, etc (for a couple of years in a cycling diary). Then in 2012 I found Strava and really got caught up in the "numbers game". This "lockdown", I think, has knocked the numbers obsession on the head for a while at least. I've even been out in "normal clothes" just to get some fresh air by the sea this week, whereas the obsessional me would probably have dismissed a 10 mile ride as "not worth dressing up and dragging a bike out" for previously. Today I've not gone out at all, even though the weather has been OK. I've sat here reading guff on the internet and watching crappy TV shows, so I'd have been better off going for a walk, run, or a ride.
Conclusion? We're all guilty of overthinking things at times. OP - just either ride, or don't ride, and whichever choice you make, do it for yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, or does. They're not you and you aren't them. Take a break from biking if it isn't firing you up right now. I had two big breaks from riding in my life, one because I was busy being a typical young man, and one (when I owned no bikes at all) when a serious accident on a MTB left me with fractured C6 and C7 vertebrae. But both times I found I missed my cycling enough to get back into it in a big way...
It's all "an obsession" in one form or another for me. I've never raced, never aimed for a 'Gold' time on a sportive, only ridden one sportive at all (RideLondon 2019). I've "raced" on my MTB, but that wasn't particularly serious either. Just local XC races and the Battle On The Beach because it's run where I spent a lot of time cycling while growing up.
My main obsessions are distance challenges (regardless of time taken) and riding as much of the country as I possibly can. I've ridden what I regard to be some of the most beautiful scenery in the UK. I'm also one of those annoying twunts on Strava that collects those silly digital challenge badges. I'll sign up to almost every challenge, even though a whole challenge can often be completed in one ride for me. Silly, I know, but it's mildly entertaining.
I'm not sure where this is going (if anywhere), but it just strikes me that almost any sport or hobby has an element of obsession about it. I think about all my lapsed hobbies/sports. Boxing and judo meant a lot of training just to hold your own in the ring or on the mat. Hockey meant giving up free time to training in order to give up more free time to play matches. Shooting the same. I could only shoot when there was someone willing to run a range so it was always when it was convenient for someone else. As a youngster it was Airfix model kits and military history books. I spent every penny of my pocket money and earnings from the milk and paper rounds I did on them, then joined the army and sold the books and the model kits just gathered dust until my younger siblings broke them all. Cycling, for me at least, wasn't about "fitting in" with someone else's timetable. It was my freedom. Something I could "just do" without relying on a booked match or training session, and something that, after the initial outlay on a bike, I could do pretty much for free. No match fees or club subs.
When i got back into cycling as an adult, after a couple of years away in Germany then getting married and starting a family, cycling was a casual, destress thing. It was only really when I found a regular cycling partner and bought a fancy modern bike for my 40th birthday in 2010 that I really started to record mileage, etc (for a couple of years in a cycling diary). Then in 2012 I found Strava and really got caught up in the "numbers game". This "lockdown", I think, has knocked the numbers obsession on the head for a while at least. I've even been out in "normal clothes" just to get some fresh air by the sea this week, whereas the obsessional me would probably have dismissed a 10 mile ride as "not worth dressing up and dragging a bike out" for previously. Today I've not gone out at all, even though the weather has been OK. I've sat here reading guff on the internet and watching crappy TV shows, so I'd have been better off going for a walk, run, or a ride.
Conclusion? We're all guilty of overthinking things at times. OP - just either ride, or don't ride, and whichever choice you make, do it for yourself. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, or does. They're not you and you aren't them. Take a break from biking if it isn't firing you up right now. I had two big breaks from riding in my life, one because I was busy being a typical young man, and one (when I owned no bikes at all) when a serious accident on a MTB left me with fractured C6 and C7 vertebrae. But both times I found I missed my cycling enough to get back into it in a big way...
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