Useful German Phrases ...

[The Wiz]

for those attendng the World Cup in Germany

Officer, would you mind taking your arm from around my neck as I am having some trouble catching my breath...
Lass los, du idiot.

Can I have four large jugs of your strongest beer over here please, landlord. And a glass of white wine for the lovely lady...
Vier Bier hier bitte, und eine Liebfrauenmilch für die liebe Frau.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Ficky, Ficky? (Remember the message is the main thing.)

Hey Mr DJ, is there any chance you could play something other than David Hasselhoff?
Hey Herr DJ, ich hasse Hasselhoff. Spiel was andres.

That's not a Nazi salute...I was just stretching
Das war kein Nazi-Gruß...Ich habe die Arme nur gestreckt.

Excuse me, can you help me with a quiz question: Who scored England's final goal in their 5-1 demolition of Germany in 2001?
Entschuldigung, können Sie mir helfen bei einer Quiz - Frage: Wer hat das letzte Tor geschossen, als England 2001 Deutschland mit 5 :1 demolierte?

Here's a Euro - give your mum a ring and tell her you've pulled
Hier ist ein Euro. Ruf Deine Mutter an und sag ihr, dass Du jemanden aufgerissen hast.

Have you got anything that doesn't come with cabbage? It gives me awful wind and I'm hoping to meet a young lady later and get a little jiggy with it.
Haben Sie irgendwas ohne Kohl? Davon kriege ich saumäßige Blähungen und ich möchte eine junge Dame treffen und wir wollen, Jiggy' damit.


Useful words to know...

1. Bra = Bustenhalter (literally is a bust holder, we just love this word).

2. Testicles = Eier (meaning eggs. As in 'someone has just kicked Paul in the eggs, poor fellow. That must smart').

3. Blouse = Blau (meaning blue, but more importantly 'pissed' as in under the influence of excessive amounts of Alt. (See 4))

4. Old = Alt (but more importantly a tasty German brew with about 4.8% of alcohol. If everybody drinks enough of this stuff, communication between nationalities can get better. N.B: It can also get worse.

[Raify]

Some more:

"Guten Tag." — "Good Day."
"Wieviel heur est is?" — "What time is it?"
"Konnen Sie bitte meine ball zuruck?" — "Can you give me my ball back please?"
"Fur Sie, der Kampf is vertig, Fritz." — "For you the War is over, Fritz."
"Achtung, Spitfire!" — "Attention, Spitfire!"
"Hande hoch oder ich scheissen!" — "Hands up or I will shoot!"
"Zwei weg kampfen und eine weg tasse, doo dah, doo dah!" — "Two World Wars and one World Cup, doo dah, doo dah!"

(tm) The Rockall Times

[shadytree]

Ihr Polizeihundebiß?
Knurren
I dachte, daß Sie besagt Ihr Hund nicht bissen? er ist nicht mein Hund!


Does your Police Alsation bite?
growl
I thought you said your dog did not bite?
he is not my dog !

Edited by shadytree on Wednesday 14th June 11:37

[Bodo]

Raify said:

"Hande hoch oder ich scheissen!" — "Hands up or I will shoot!"

Wrong. »scheissen« doesn't not mean "to shoot" but "to shit".

[ZR1cliff]

Funny thread!

[sleep envy]

The Wiz said:

Excuse me, can you help me with a quiz question: Who scored England's final goal in their 5-1 demolition of Germany in 2001?

[Raify]

Bodo said:

Raify said:

"Hande hoch oder ich scheissen!" — "Hands up or I will shoot!"

Wrong. »scheissen« doesn't not mean "to shoot" but "to shit".

You'd better tell whoever wrote in on the Rockall Times then

[Davel]

Achtung Minen!

[stockhatcher]

Entschuldigen sie bitte, aber Konnen Sie raume die kase von miene schwanz !


excuse me please, but can you clean the cheese off my knob!