Road Rage Reg Writes ...
Discussion
I probably need a psychotherapist or counselling more than what PH can offer, but I thought I'd ask here in case someone in the massive can help. 
I get road rage on motorways. I'm fine on country lanes and B-roads and even in town, but I find other drivers on motorways insanely aggravating.
From the "I've put my indicator on so that means I can shove in front of you" to the "I'm not getting out of your way because there's traffic half a mile ahead of me" to the "I'll let everyone in in front of me, but I'm buggered if I have any thoughts for those stuck behind me." And that's even before I get to middle lane morons.
I even think I know why I get so irritated: in town or on a country lane, there's nowhere to go. But on a highway, people could think about those around them and actually have the space to be courteous. But they seem, if anything to be worse on motorways than they are anywhere else.
I can rarely manage more than 20 miles on a motorway before I feel like I could kill someone. I cope by getting off the motorway and driving on an A- or B-road for a bit.
I thought I was getting better at managing it, but I went out for a drive over the weekend and didn't even make 5 miles before I had to get off the motorway. To be fair, I'm not sure what anyone would make about someone shoving in front of you while you're overtaking them so that they can sit in lane 3 of a 4 lane motorway with absolutely no-one else on the road for miles.
I know they're plonkers. I know that these people will even blissfully ignore blues and twos. I know even that they're not going to make me measurably late for wherever I'm going.
But they still drive me insane.
Can anybody help me adjust my attitude?
I get road rage on motorways. I'm fine on country lanes and B-roads and even in town, but I find other drivers on motorways insanely aggravating.
From the "I've put my indicator on so that means I can shove in front of you" to the "I'm not getting out of your way because there's traffic half a mile ahead of me" to the "I'll let everyone in in front of me, but I'm buggered if I have any thoughts for those stuck behind me." And that's even before I get to middle lane morons.
I even think I know why I get so irritated: in town or on a country lane, there's nowhere to go. But on a highway, people could think about those around them and actually have the space to be courteous. But they seem, if anything to be worse on motorways than they are anywhere else.
I can rarely manage more than 20 miles on a motorway before I feel like I could kill someone. I cope by getting off the motorway and driving on an A- or B-road for a bit.
I thought I was getting better at managing it, but I went out for a drive over the weekend and didn't even make 5 miles before I had to get off the motorway. To be fair, I'm not sure what anyone would make about someone shoving in front of you while you're overtaking them so that they can sit in lane 3 of a 4 lane motorway with absolutely no-one else on the road for miles.
I know they're plonkers. I know that these people will even blissfully ignore blues and twos. I know even that they're not going to make me measurably late for wherever I'm going.
But they still drive me insane.
Can anybody help me adjust my attitude?
Two options:-
1) Bull bars - heavy duty ones. And a tolerant insurer!
2) Chilled music in the car and allow 10 mins extra for your journey.
I have the same frustrations, but it's not worth your blood-pressure. Hang back, let them be the cocks they are, and try and detach yourself from the sheer stupidity around you.
1) Bull bars - heavy duty ones. And a tolerant insurer!
2) Chilled music in the car and allow 10 mins extra for your journey.
I have the same frustrations, but it's not worth your blood-pressure. Hang back, let them be the cocks they are, and try and detach yourself from the sheer stupidity around you.
I totally understand where you're coming from.
These days I have become resigned to the fact that the vast majority of road users can't drive for s
t, so I turn the music up, keep my eye on whats ahead, as far as I can, and try to use the road efficiently so I don't get caught up with the idiots everywhere else.
Failing that there is always talking through it - I often find driving in the city infuriating, but if I relay to myself, or whoever might be in the car what kind of stupidity is occurring, it takes my mind off the idiots and turns anger into smugness.
Of course there are folk out there who I am convinced only go out to drive when they think they have a chance of killing me, then a bit of the old horn, shake a fist and a dab of turbo soon gets me by.
EF Bile and vitriol.
These days I have become resigned to the fact that the vast majority of road users can't drive for s
t, so I turn the music up, keep my eye on whats ahead, as far as I can, and try to use the road efficiently so I don't get caught up with the idiots everywhere else.Failing that there is always talking through it - I often find driving in the city infuriating, but if I relay to myself, or whoever might be in the car what kind of stupidity is occurring, it takes my mind off the idiots and turns anger into smugness.
Of course there are folk out there who I am convinced only go out to drive when they think they have a chance of killing me, then a bit of the old horn, shake a fist and a dab of turbo soon gets me by.
EF Bile and vitriol.
Edited by ferkle on Monday 19th July 18:50
Spokey said:
I went out for a drive over the weekend and didn't even make 5 miles before I had to get off the motorway
Who in their right mind goes for a drive over the weekend and does so by getting on a motorway ?have checked where the OP lives, looks a nice place except for the train track to the north and being a terrace house, maybe he gets stressed by the neighbours ?
house looks nice, but maybe the big tree in the front garden could be trimmed ?
maybe some ambient music in the car to chill out to ?
I had a 150 mile motorway drive to do last saturday lunchtime. A1, M25, M4. I was only in the wifes 1.25 Fiesta so I wasn't out to break any records, but I was aiming to cruise at 70-80 on clear sections, to make up the time I lost in the interminable M25 roadworks.
I managed to achieve this, but only by using the utterly deserted inside lane whilst endless streams of morons ambled along in lanes 2, 3 and 4. I made relaxed safe progress, whilst they randomly varied their speeds between 55 and 75mph depending on what combination of synapses fluttered dimly into life within their tiny minds. During a 50 mile section of the M4 I probably passed >200 cars and only left the inside lane four times to pass lorries.
As the OP says, if someone genuinely cannot safely go faster or allow me past, then I am happy to follow them for as long as neccessary. On a multilane road, only their incompetence, laziness or bloody-mindedness is stopping me from carrying on with my journey, and that would be hugely irritating if I sat in the overtaking lane waiting for them to deign to let me pass.
I managed to achieve this, but only by using the utterly deserted inside lane whilst endless streams of morons ambled along in lanes 2, 3 and 4. I made relaxed safe progress, whilst they randomly varied their speeds between 55 and 75mph depending on what combination of synapses fluttered dimly into life within their tiny minds. During a 50 mile section of the M4 I probably passed >200 cars and only left the inside lane four times to pass lorries.
As the OP says, if someone genuinely cannot safely go faster or allow me past, then I am happy to follow them for as long as neccessary. On a multilane road, only their incompetence, laziness or bloody-mindedness is stopping me from carrying on with my journey, and that would be hugely irritating if I sat in the overtaking lane waiting for them to deign to let me pass.
JamesNotJim said:
Small question. Are you trying to make progress or just going with the flow?
I don't even bother trying these days. I go with the flow and make sure I am being as observant and as safe as possible. Being patient and observant usually means I spot opportunities to 'make a break' and get through the traffic but if not I just tuck myself out of the way and concentrate on getting to my destination safely.Scraggles said:
Spokey said:
I went out for a drive over the weekend and didn't even make 5 miles before I had to get off the motorway
Who in their right mind goes for a drive over the weekend and does so by getting on a motorway ?
So clearly the feelings of angst are in your head and the only way to change how you feel is to change how you feel if that makes sense. You aren't going to change what happens on the roads, only how you feel about them.
To change a habit apparently takes repetition for 30 days. That's simple. So you have to decide to think differently about other drivers and do it every day for 30 days.
Now you'll be thinking I am talking bks by now, but I am talking from experience and being in a similar state of mind as you some years ago.
If you are in the same place I was, you are in a downward spiral thinking all other road-users (apart from you) are utter wkers and that if they only drove properly like you do, or weren't there at all, everything would be well. The "reality" that you need to embrace is that the majority of road users are normal competent people same as you. Find a way of thinking differntly might just help.
Or there again, maybe there is no hope
Bert
To change a habit apparently takes repetition for 30 days. That's simple. So you have to decide to think differently about other drivers and do it every day for 30 days.
Now you'll be thinking I am talking b
ks by now, but I am talking from experience and being in a similar state of mind as you some years ago.If you are in the same place I was, you are in a downward spiral thinking all other road-users (apart from you) are utter w
kers and that if they only drove properly like you do, or weren't there at all, everything would be well. The "reality" that you need to embrace is that the majority of road users are normal competent people same as you. Find a way of thinking differntly might just help.Or there again, maybe there is no hope
Bert
Spokey said:
Scraggles said:
Spokey said:
I went out for a drive over the weekend and didn't even make 5 miles before I had to get off the motorway
Who in their right mind goes for a drive over the weekend and does so by getting on a motorway ?Spokey said:
JamesNotJim said:
Small question. Are you trying to make progress or just going with the flow?
Make progress.I have found, to some extent, that things are better for me when I drive slower than the flow.
Allow a bit more time. Do no more than 70. Then the only problems you have are the people who think that despite you overtaking stuff they believe you should immediately brake dive out of their way into any gap 1/2 the size of your car. Fortunately you can simply ignore them and carry on driving at your own chosen pace, and keeping left when the roads clear.
if you dont drive on motorways for enjoyment (which is most of us) then just do 70 in the inside lane, and only pull out to overtake lorries. if there is a stream of cars in the middle lane when they should be using the left lane, I believe that counts as traffic moving in columns, under which conditions its permissable to undertake. if you get a middle lane hogger when theres nothing around, get behind then and flash the bejesus out of them until the move over. works in germany just fine, not sure why its frowned upon so much here.
BertBert said:
So clearly the feelings of angst are in your head and the only way to change how you feel is to change how you feel if that makes sense. You aren't going to change what happens on the roads, only how you feel about them.
To change a habit apparently takes repetition for 30 days. That's simple. So you have to decide to think differently about other drivers and do it every day for 30 days.
Now you'll be thinking I am talking bks by now, but I am talking from experience and being in a similar state of mind as you some years ago.
If you are in the same place I was, you are in a downward spiral thinking all other road-users (apart from you) are utter wkers and that if they only drove properly like you do, or weren't there at all, everything would be well. The "reality" that you need to embrace is that the majority of road users are normal competent people same as you. Find a way of thinking differntly might just help.
Or there again, maybe there is no hope
To change a habit apparently takes repetition for 30 days. That's simple. So you have to decide to think differently about other drivers and do it every day for 30 days.
Now you'll be thinking I am talking b
ks by now, but I am talking from experience and being in a similar state of mind as you some years ago.If you are in the same place I was, you are in a downward spiral thinking all other road-users (apart from you) are utter w
kers and that if they only drove properly like you do, or weren't there at all, everything would be well. The "reality" that you need to embrace is that the majority of road users are normal competent people same as you. Find a way of thinking differntly might just help.Or there again, maybe there is no hope
Well, I wouldn't use the word "angst", but apart from that, I'll give it a go.
Thanks everyone for your comments and ideas!
Its not the actions of others, but how you choose to react to those actions that is stressful
Deliberately set out to find such antics amusing - the more cock like the action, the funnier you find it.
Laughing at it is far more conducive to not wanting to kill someone than getting angry!
A few miles round the M25 and you could, quite literally, have peed yourself!
Deliberately set out to find such antics amusing - the more cock like the action, the funnier you find it.
Laughing at it is far more conducive to not wanting to kill someone than getting angry!
A few miles round the M25 and you could, quite literally, have peed yourself!
Drive on the inside lane of the motorway, in traffic it's normally the fastest moving, and it keeps you away from all the tw's in the outside lane.
I used to feel exactly the same on on my commute to and from work until I got fed up with being in a Sh* mood when i got home in the evenings, also the 5 minutes you'll actually save by going 1 mph faster not in traffic on the outside is not really worth it.
I used to feel exactly the same on on my commute to and from work until I got fed up with being in a Sh* mood when i got home in the evenings, also the 5 minutes you'll actually save by going 1 mph faster not in traffic on the outside is not really worth it.
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