The mindset of the 'advanced' driver
Discussion
Hello
First post. I've spent some time browsing this forum and have found it to provide a valuable insight into some of the thought processes behind 'advanced' driving. I can't say I agree with the apparent consensus on some issues, but it's been pleasing to note that many actions and approaches which I take on the road seem to be shared by 'advanced' drivers posting here.
However, it's also prompted me to think that despite 20 years of statistically 'safe' driving, I am a long way off being considered an 'advanced' driver myself (of course I am using that term in its broadest sense, rather than just in reference to IAM membership). Putting aside the fact that some of the more esoteric physical car control stuff like heel-toe will always be beyond me (simply because I'm a complete spacker when it comes to co-ordination), I think my concern is more about the mindset required to be 'advanced' than anything else.
The problem is that I don't seem able to complete even short journeys without getting annoyed or frustrated with other road users. Over the years, I have managed to train myself to avoid actually communicating my displeasure through horn, lights or hand gestures. After all, in my view there is little worse than the driver who seeks to 'educate' other road users through such actions. However, when I encounter inconsiderate driving it remains a struggle to stop myself from entering into disturbingly detailed fantasies about forcing the offender off the road and beating them to a bloody pulp with their own slip-on shoes.
What seems abundantly clear from my reading on here is that true 'advanced' drivers are able to cope with the frustrations of modern motoring without succumbing to such petty, unnecessary anger. My questions are these: Can such an approach be learned, or is it merely a function of underlying personality? Is there anyone on here who is now a calm, rational, considerate driver who used to be a bit of a road rager? If so, what helped you to change?
First post. I've spent some time browsing this forum and have found it to provide a valuable insight into some of the thought processes behind 'advanced' driving. I can't say I agree with the apparent consensus on some issues, but it's been pleasing to note that many actions and approaches which I take on the road seem to be shared by 'advanced' drivers posting here.
However, it's also prompted me to think that despite 20 years of statistically 'safe' driving, I am a long way off being considered an 'advanced' driver myself (of course I am using that term in its broadest sense, rather than just in reference to IAM membership). Putting aside the fact that some of the more esoteric physical car control stuff like heel-toe will always be beyond me (simply because I'm a complete spacker when it comes to co-ordination), I think my concern is more about the mindset required to be 'advanced' than anything else.
The problem is that I don't seem able to complete even short journeys without getting annoyed or frustrated with other road users. Over the years, I have managed to train myself to avoid actually communicating my displeasure through horn, lights or hand gestures. After all, in my view there is little worse than the driver who seeks to 'educate' other road users through such actions. However, when I encounter inconsiderate driving it remains a struggle to stop myself from entering into disturbingly detailed fantasies about forcing the offender off the road and beating them to a bloody pulp with their own slip-on shoes.
What seems abundantly clear from my reading on here is that true 'advanced' drivers are able to cope with the frustrations of modern motoring without succumbing to such petty, unnecessary anger. My questions are these: Can such an approach be learned, or is it merely a function of underlying personality? Is there anyone on here who is now a calm, rational, considerate driver who used to be a bit of a road rager? If so, what helped you to change?
Ten Ninety said:
However, when I encounter inconsiderate driving it remains a struggle to stop myself from entering into disturbingly detailed fantasies about forcing the offender off the road and beating them to a bloody pulp with their own slip-on shoes.
It can be learned, for it is an action, not a thought.
Enjoy the fantasy, but don't act on it: Remain calm and considered in your actions whilst grinning maniacally imagining the beating you could dish out with a good pair of brogues.
I very reguarly imagine myself smacking the f
k out of stupid fking dumb fk drivers on the road. Trick is to imagine it and vent all that anger through your imagination before taking any kind of action on the road.
I also try and remember (for silly mistakes) that at times, even now, I make mistakes myself and I would hope others would be as forgiving as me.
k out of stupid fking dumb fk drivers on the road. Trick is to imagine it and vent all that anger through your imagination before taking any kind of action on the road.I also try and remember (for silly mistakes) that at times, even now, I make mistakes myself and I would hope others would be as forgiving as me.
Edited by ymwoods on Tuesday 29th December 19:47
vonhosen said:
- See the other car as a cartoon car
- See the other driver with a big red nose, rabbit ears or anything else that looks silly
Is there an approved hallucinogen for these effects?
Ten Ninety raises a critical and complex issue. I've always thought that mindset, together with observation, are the two critical elements of good driving. Everything else, such as heel and toe, rev matching, limit point, even the IAM 'system', are just embellishments and techniques.
Observation skills can be learned but the trouble with mindset is that it is fundamental to the psychology of being human. For example, it's in our nature to be competitive and often selfish and to feel threatened when someone acts towards us in a way that we perceive to be aggressive. I'm not a psychologist but I guess that this is where gender and age differences come to the fore. A young male driver, for example, cannot help but be a competitive animal who will tend to want to overtake - and not be overtaken - without ever really considering the logic of his situation. And of course, the effect does not dissapear when one reaches a certain age but perhaps it diminishes and with the benefit of experience one perhaps learns to recognise and control the instinct.
And that, I think, is more than half the battle. If you can recognise in yourself when you are reacting to instinct and not to logic, then you're in a position to do something about it. It's not always easy and nobody's perfect (certainly not me!) but if you can look back on a drive and think 'I could have reacted better to that idiot!' then you can resolve to do better next time.
And lo and behold, you'll become a specimen of what I would call an "advanced driver", whether you hold some kind of certificate or not!
Observation skills can be learned but the trouble with mindset is that it is fundamental to the psychology of being human. For example, it's in our nature to be competitive and often selfish and to feel threatened when someone acts towards us in a way that we perceive to be aggressive. I'm not a psychologist but I guess that this is where gender and age differences come to the fore. A young male driver, for example, cannot help but be a competitive animal who will tend to want to overtake - and not be overtaken - without ever really considering the logic of his situation. And of course, the effect does not dissapear when one reaches a certain age but perhaps it diminishes and with the benefit of experience one perhaps learns to recognise and control the instinct.
And that, I think, is more than half the battle. If you can recognise in yourself when you are reacting to instinct and not to logic, then you're in a position to do something about it. It's not always easy and nobody's perfect (certainly not me!) but if you can look back on a drive and think 'I could have reacted better to that idiot!' then you can resolve to do better next time.
And lo and behold, you'll become a specimen of what I would call an "advanced driver", whether you hold some kind of certificate or not!
7db said:
vonhosen said:
- See the other car as a cartoon car
- See the other driver with a big red nose, rabbit ears or anything else that looks silly
Is there an approved hallucinogen for these effects?
vonhosen said:
Some good reading on that site. The Road Rage quiz was quite entertaining - I only suffer from 'mild' road rage according to that test, which is quite encouraging I suppose. I must confess I've always treated NLP with a certain amount of suspicion, mainly because in my experience it's not the panacea that its most fervent proponents seem to believe it is. However, there are definitely ideas on there which I will try. Thanks for posting.gdaybruce said:
If you can recognise in yourself when you are reacting to instinct and not to logic, then you're in a position to do something about it. It's not always easy and nobody's perfect (certainly not me!) but if you can look back on a drive and think 'I could have reacted better to that idiot!' then you can resolve to do better next time.
Indeed. My problem is that, whilst I am quite good at the 'resolving to do better' bit, I'm considerably less effective at translating that resolution into effective practice next time round!7mike said:
Some interesting views expressed on your blog mate, afraid I'm one of those who slow down to within limits on urban roads, my livelihood depends on it so hope it's not too annoying for you 
I have no problem at all with that, unless you've just overtaken me at warp speed half a mile before the limit dropped!I'm very lucky in that although I can get angry at 'stuff' I never do so when driving. Perhaps it's (something) to do with expectations. My father had been an instructor and told me to expect every other driver to be stupid. 'There's nothing to stop them indicating left and turning right' he'd say 'you've got to treat them like they're an idiot'. The other day, 30 years on, it happened. The car in front slowed down, indicated left, turned right. I gave a wry smile, I was ready for it, instinctively if not consciously.
It's a fine line though between that and 'I'm better than everyone else' which can lead to feeling you have the right, even a duty, to put their imperfect driving in its place.
Maybe we feel so safe/confident in our cars that we can afford to spend time thinking about what said idiot has done rather than staying focused on what we're doing. Since taking up flying I've learnt not to be distracted so much and keep concentrating on what I'm doing. Make a mistake and it could be fatal, and it'd be no good saying 'but did you see what that idiot did?.....', posthumously. We tend to forget that in the familiar confines of our car.
Thanks for taking time to think about this and raise it in an honest way, I'm sure we can all learn how to be better drivers/people.
Btw 'Sticks'? Because I met someone who was bowling along on the wrong side of the road. Dad was right, I just didn't see that one coming.
It's a fine line though between that and 'I'm better than everyone else' which can lead to feeling you have the right, even a duty, to put their imperfect driving in its place.
Maybe we feel so safe/confident in our cars that we can afford to spend time thinking about what said idiot has done rather than staying focused on what we're doing. Since taking up flying I've learnt not to be distracted so much and keep concentrating on what I'm doing. Make a mistake and it could be fatal, and it'd be no good saying 'but did you see what that idiot did?.....', posthumously. We tend to forget that in the familiar confines of our car.
Thanks for taking time to think about this and raise it in an honest way, I'm sure we can all learn how to be better drivers/people.
Btw 'Sticks'? Because I met someone who was bowling along on the wrong side of the road. Dad was right, I just didn't see that one coming.
Having passed the IAM test for advance driving, I'm happy to say that I don't necessarily agree with everything that 'advanced drivers' tell you to do.
However, keeping calm behind the wheel is something that can be learned, such as not sounding the horn to demonstrate your displeasure at someone else's driving.
However, keeping calm behind the wheel is something that can be learned, such as not sounding the horn to demonstrate your displeasure at someone else's driving.
I did try the 'imagine something daft' approach yesterday when I encountered some particularly provocative priggery involving a gentleman in a Saab on the A14. I have to say that imagining him sporting a pair of rabbit ears and a clown's nose didn't really cut it, but I did find that running through a few lines of classic Tommy Cooper lightened the mood considerably. Unfortunately the wife thinks the great man is about as funny as a fart at a funeral, so she was less than impressed.
Still, I definitely found it better having something completely unrelated to focus on, rather than just doing the usual of trying to convince myself that it wasn't worth getting annoyed. I guess the real test will come next week when returning from work. A day's worth of enforced patience and tolerance is probably not the best preparation for dealing with the A12/A14 on the way home!
Still, I definitely found it better having something completely unrelated to focus on, rather than just doing the usual of trying to convince myself that it wasn't worth getting annoyed. I guess the real test will come next week when returning from work. A day's worth of enforced patience and tolerance is probably not the best preparation for dealing with the A12/A14 on the way home!
Going back to your original question Ten Ninety, what really cured it for me was a part-time job coach driving! Couple of times I had cars pull straight across the front of the coach & stop square on having missed their turn. Luckily on both occasions the crystal ball was in good working order & I managed to stop safely & not particularly dramatically. It was actually a good buzz listening to my passengers doing all the shouting so I could smugly sit & wait for the red faced idiots to get out of the way.
Idiots aside, we all make mistakes & we all have varying opinions on how to deal with any task. If I was going to get wound up on every drive I made I’d give up & take the bus (did use it once last year, the driver got involved in a road rage incident even before we got out of Manchester
). The better driver is surely the one who anticipates, plans & deals rationally with other road users.
(not suggesting coach driving is the answer for everyone though!)
Idiots aside, we all make mistakes & we all have varying opinions on how to deal with any task. If I was going to get wound up on every drive I made I’d give up & take the bus (did use it once last year, the driver got involved in a road rage incident even before we got out of Manchester
). The better driver is surely the one who anticipates, plans & deals rationally with other road users.(not suggesting coach driving is the answer for everyone though!)
Edited by 7mike on Thursday 31st December 20:44
CommanderJameson said:
I notice that my driving is considerably smoother, easier and more enjoyable when I don't let myself get emotionally involved with other drivers and their actions. I also find that looking to be courteous, when the opportunity arises, is a positive thing, too.
Agreed.I approach it like this: "Thanks for helping me out when I foul things up. I'll try to do the same for you too, should it be necessary."
Best wishes all,
Dave.
CommanderJameson said:
I notice that my driving is considerably smoother, easier and more enjoyable when I don't let myself get emotionally involved with other drivers and their actions.
Absolutely. Do you have any tips you could share on how you stop yourself from getting emotionally involved? Or is it just something you are naturally able to do?CommanderJameson said:
I also find that looking to be courteous, when the opportunity arises, is a positive thing, too.
That's interesting. I remember reading Tom Topper years ago and subsequently adopted a number of his suggestions for courteous driving, especially with things like road positioning. There's certainly a nice warm glow when you adjust your driving to help someone else make progress, especially when they're aware enough to acknowledge you. However, I have also found that the law of unintended consequences seems to come into play rather more often these days than it once did. As a result, courteous driving can in itself actually provoke conflict, usually when the person you're trying to help completely fails to notice your action. For example, my 'pre-emptive' lift off the throttle and a quick flash to let someone out from behind the lorry they're rapidly catching up on the dual carriageway goes un-noticed. So I slow a little more and flash again, but they start braking instead of pulling out. And now the chap behind me is annoyed because I seem to be slowing down in the outside lane for no reason, and the chap I'm trying to let out is annoyed because I'm now virtually alongside him and he's finally realised there's a lorry coming up and he can't work out why I haven't gone past him already.
Or am I just doing it wrong?
7mike said:
what really cured it for me was a part-time job coach driving!
I can believe that. I'm sure spending time outside the 'comfort zone' of one's own vehicle is a healthy thing to do, and helps to appreciate the different challenges that drivers of different vehicles encounter. Sadly, for me the opportunities and time to actually do this are pretty limited. It's fair to say however that I am almost never 'bothered' by the actions of a coach, lorry or motorcycle - it's invariably a mindless car driver who will manage to pierce my calm bubble!
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