Help me advise a nervous motorway driver please

[A11REX]

Hi,

My business partner had a non fault crash in her car on the motorway just over a year ago (HGV side swiped her). Since then she's been very nervous about using motorways. When she has been forced to she arrives at her destination a gibbering wreck.

On Wednesday we're visiting a supplier in Norfolk and will be using the M25/M11. I've said I want her to drive and my intention is to try and give her lots of encouragement and hopefully try and improve the situation.

Can anyone offer any simple tips or soundbites about motorway driving that someone who has no interest in cars will relate to.

Cheers

[vonhosen]

Try to have space to your nearside &/or offside as much as possible.

[p1esk]

vonhosen said:

Try to have space to your nearside &/or offside as much as possible.

....and if you're in the M11/M25 area, watch out for cars containing four big blokes clutching doughnuts and paninis.

Best wishes all,
Dave.

[S. Gonzales Esq.]

Be aware of the blind spots of other vehicles, and stay out of them. This is also good advice for roundabouts - be in front of, or behind other vehicles, not alongside.

[BOF]

Try to have her create her own 'safety bubble'...the 2 second rule for starters...someone too close behind, increase your space in front of you to brake for the clown behind...do not be in a 'metal sandwich' with vehicles in your offside and nearside.

Check if your local IAM Group do assessment drives - a good Observer might be of help to her.

BOF.

[henrycrun]

Check mirror and blind spot, signal and then slight pause before changing lanes (pause is just to make sure the signal has been seen)

Keep it smooth - stay off the brakes

Stay out of lane 3

[crisisjez]

A11REX said:

Hi,

My business partner had a non fault crash in her car on the motorway just over a year ago (HGV side swiped her). Since then she's been very nervous about using motorways. When she has been forced to she arrives at her destination a gibbering wreck.

On Wednesday we're visiting a supplier in Norfolk and will be using the M25/M11. I've said I want her to drive and my intention is to try and give her lots of encouragement and hopefully try and improve the situation.

Can anyone offer any simple tips or soundbites about motorway driving that someone who has no interest in cars will relate to.

Cheers

Don`t do it.
She will be no better with you in the car and is more likely to panic as you may inadvertantly take her out of her comfort zone.

Accidents can cause very deep phsycological scars that can take a very long time to heal especially with people who drive through need as their prime motivator to get behind the wheel of a car.

The earlier post about using an IAM observer is sound advice, but make sure only they drive the car so she can more easily begin to understand the thought process in an environment that she can feel semi relaxed in.

Perhaps you should also suggest to her she interacts with a copy of the DSA hazard awareness DVD that is mandatory for new drivers, its probably one of their better ideas IMO.

(In a previous life I was sometimes used by insurance company`s to assess and retrain Pilots who had been involved in accidents, some were fine, some required a great amount of care to get back on the horse and you have to let them set the pace.)

Edited by crisisjez on Saturday 26th April 22:11

[A11REX]

Thanks for all the advice guys, some good points. I particularly like the one about keeping out of others blindspots.

I'm not forcing her to do the driving, she knows she has to start working toward overcoming this problem rather than ignoring it which has been the case up until now.

What we'll probably do is take her car which I'll drive on the way there whilst giving her a few hints and tips and give her the option to drive back. If she's still dead against it then I won't force her.

I intend to buy some driver training for her birthday as I think it will take a lot more than me giving her a bit of encouragement.

Thanks again

[mph999]

vonhosen said:

Try to have space to your nearside &/or offside as much as possible.

... yep

To explain a little, in inside lane not really an issue as you have an escape to the hard shoulder if necessary.

In the other two lanes, I try not to pass something on my left if there is something on my right. In traffic it's difficult, and sometime you just have to get on with it, but whenever possible I'll time an overtake to have an escape gap to my right. This may mean squeezing on the power to get through and minimising the time I'm alongside something, or holding back a moment to let a gap (on my right) catch up with me.

Overtaking HGVs, if it's not too busy and I've got space, I'll put as much space between me and it as possible, including using some of lane 3 if I can.

Also, if in the outside lane, don't move into the middle lane if you would move into an HGVs (or cars) blindspot.
Keep out for an extra couple of seconds, and move back into a space where you are more likly to be seen, but pref, in front of them.

Martin

Martin

[Hanna]

Allow at least 6 seconds for any indicating required, gives folks time to notice the signal and to react

Avoid changing from lane 3 into lane to along side a HGV in lane 1 (helps maintain safety bubble)

[waremark]

Good idea to drive her and give her tips. Particularly in view of the nature of her accident focus on the planning required to minimise the time you are alongside other vehicles.

If she is underconfident I don't think the M25 is a suitable environment to build up confidence.

[heebeegeetee]

Tell her not to do less than 60 mph, not to lurk anywhere near the front wheels of a truck, and to maintain her speed - don't let the speed creep up and down.

Tell her if the truck behind is catching up, it'll probably be on a speed limiter and its her slowing down, not the truck speeding up.

[pjac67]

Hypnotism may work for her as I believe it has for others...

[Don]

BOF said:

Try to have her create her own 'safety bubble'...the 2 second rule for starters...someone too close behind, increase your space in front of you to brake for the clown behind...do not be in a 'metal sandwich' with vehicles in your offside and nearside.

Check if your local IAM Group do assessment drives - a good Observer might be of help to her.

BOF.

This is good advice.

In my group we get people who come to us after an accident - confidence shattered - they want to know what they could have done better and if they could have avoided the prang - even if it was not their fault.

They usually find something on the first drive. That "something" can be a very positive thing for them as they begin to feel that they can DO something and actually affect or control the outcome of driving better. They feel less helpless in other words and this can really help with getting back behind the wheel.

Another IAM intake we get is widows. Their husbands have driven their whole lives and now they are suddenly required to get themselves about. I have helped a number of them who simply couldn't get on the motorway. Build up confidence, stand on the accelerator and Go!

I am proud of all the people who come to the IAM and do something actively about their driving - but the widows break my heart.

[7db]

If the supplier is important, have her drive back, not to the meeting.
You give a commentary drive on the way there.

[BOF]

Don,

"Another IAM intake we get is widows. Their husbands have driven their whole lives and now they are suddenly required to get themselves about. I have helped a number of them who simply couldn't get on the motorway. Build up confidence, stand on the accelerator and Go!

I am proud of all the people who come to the IAM and do something actively about their driving - but the widows break my heart."

It's sometimes also that the widow has bought a new car and is unfamiliar with it? My longest was 13 drives...used to stop on a bridge over the A12, get her out and watch the traffic patterns - looking for the gaps where the heavies move the cars to the outside lane so she could time her entry more safely.

Great satisfaction when I got the letter that she is now able to visit her daughter again and enjoys driving!

BOF.

[p1esk]

BOF said:

Don,

"Another IAM intake we get is widows. Their husbands have driven their whole lives and now they are suddenly required to get themselves about. I have helped a number of them who simply couldn't get on the motorway. Build up confidence, stand on the accelerator and Go!

I am proud of all the people who come to the IAM and do something actively about their driving - but the widows break my heart."

It's sometimes also that the widow has bought a new car and is unfamiliar with it? My longest was 13 drives...used to stop on a bridge over the A12, get her out and watch the traffic patterns - looking for the gaps where the heavies move the cars to the outside lane so she could time her entry more safely.

Great satisfaction when I got the letter that she is now able to visit her daughter again and enjoys driving!

BOF.

Very nice, indeed. Honestly and no clowning this time.

Best wishes all,
Dave.

[WhoseGeneration]

It requires thought.
How to be in a "neutral" zone, such that one can anticipate and respond to the actions of others.
Not easy on a busy Motorway.
That is what "advanced" is about.

[mph999]

Also, don't even get between two HGVs, if you get rear ended it's game over ...

M

[Pied Piper]

My mum had the same problems after my father passed away. He used to do all the driving and was not always complimentary on mums.

She found the best way was to use the police commentary technique and list all the hazards ahead, and try and anticipate other drives behaviour.

She still does not enjoy the drive but she feels much safer and gets to go and see family she wouldn't otherwise see.