How to Achieve Driving Zen
Discussion
I’ve been driving since 1982 and therefore have a lot of experience and probably some bad habits that are now difficult to shift. I cover around 20,000 miles a year and for several years was doing over 50,000 a year on all types of roads in all conditions.
In many ways I’ve become more relaxed on the road, don’t rush about like a loon anymore (though I do like to “make progress”) can usually spot the idiots before they do something idiotic, and so stay out of harm’s way.
I’ve definitely noticed a drop in the standards of driving and in this respect have become less patient and tolerant. I find myself giving an almost constant commentary, on what I perceive as others driver’s ineptitude and frankly I’m really starting to bore myself and am sometimes actually shocked by what comes out of my mouth.
I also find that on occasions, it all gets too much and I have a bit of a meltdown, which then leaves me feeling disappointed with myself and wondering what the hell I can do to change things.
My wife drives reasonably well (other than some of her random gear selections) and just breezes along at a good pace and almost never seems to be irritated. I, in contrast, am almost constantly annoyed and I really want to just chill out and stop being so judgemental.
The levels of traffic and the seemingly spectacular ineptitude, ignorance and lack of consideration of many drivers, is really getting om my proverbials and I need to switch off and accept that I can’t change it and it’s just the way it is.
Anyone else feel this way and if so, how do you manage it?
In many ways I’ve become more relaxed on the road, don’t rush about like a loon anymore (though I do like to “make progress”) can usually spot the idiots before they do something idiotic, and so stay out of harm’s way.
I’ve definitely noticed a drop in the standards of driving and in this respect have become less patient and tolerant. I find myself giving an almost constant commentary, on what I perceive as others driver’s ineptitude and frankly I’m really starting to bore myself and am sometimes actually shocked by what comes out of my mouth.
I also find that on occasions, it all gets too much and I have a bit of a meltdown, which then leaves me feeling disappointed with myself and wondering what the hell I can do to change things.
My wife drives reasonably well (other than some of her random gear selections) and just breezes along at a good pace and almost never seems to be irritated. I, in contrast, am almost constantly annoyed and I really want to just chill out and stop being so judgemental.
The levels of traffic and the seemingly spectacular ineptitude, ignorance and lack of consideration of many drivers, is really getting om my proverbials and I need to switch off and accept that I can’t change it and it’s just the way it is.
Anyone else feel this way and if so, how do you manage it?
Watching the various dash cam vids and thinking to myself "if only he'd just eased off there it wouldn't have mattered" as the upteenth bod gets cut up at a mini roundabout while turning right.
I started to think that live would be a lot less stressful if I just eased off a fraction rather than ploughing on, cutting it close, honking my horn etc.
That and listening to Audible while driving.
Sure, occasionally I'll still make someone life difficult, but by and large found the above made it a lot less stressful.
I started to think that live would be a lot less stressful if I just eased off a fraction rather than ploughing on, cutting it close, honking my horn etc.
That and listening to Audible while driving.
Sure, occasionally I'll still make someone life difficult, but by and large found the above made it a lot less stressful.
mhurley said:
The only changes in demographics I can think of are
a) more older drivers and
b) more female drivers
c) more self-entitlementa) more older drivers and
b) more female drivers
d) more distractions
e) less f
ks given about drivingf) more f
ks are given about social mediaI found getting a motorbike helped, you can just get on with it. Though it's a bit risky these days.
I understand that the public roads are nit a competitive space. I have driven about two million miles. Currently have a mix of cars including some quick ones.
One thing that has changed hugely is texting which I see daily - all ages of drivers.
In the end I just relax. I pull over for faster traffic and never tailgate if I need to get by. I used to get mad at every perceived bad behaviour but concluded it was just a useless way to raise blood pressure.
I am sure I have made mistakes here and there , none leading to any accidents. It’s just not worth it to be an amateur driver evaluator.
One thing that has changed hugely is texting which I see daily - all ages of drivers.
In the end I just relax. I pull over for faster traffic and never tailgate if I need to get by. I used to get mad at every perceived bad behaviour but concluded it was just a useless way to raise blood pressure.
I am sure I have made mistakes here and there , none leading to any accidents. It’s just not worth it to be an amateur driver evaluator.
The thing which has helped me the most is track days. I purchased an E46 330ci, slowly built it into a track car and now take out all of my 'need for speed' on track.
I now find road driving so much more relaxing. Albeit I still haven't found a fix for my instant blood boil when another driver doesn't say thank you, or the sheer lack of being courteous to each other.
I have also totally given up road cycling now. I still to this day love road cycling, but self-righteous cyclists and the low standard of driving has resulted in a few close shaves and I really don't fancy being knocked off by a 'tard in a Corsa.
TLDR - Join some form of motorsport.
I now find road driving so much more relaxing. Albeit I still haven't found a fix for my instant blood boil when another driver doesn't say thank you, or the sheer lack of being courteous to each other.
I have also totally given up road cycling now. I still to this day love road cycling, but self-righteous cyclists and the low standard of driving has resulted in a few close shaves and I really don't fancy being knocked off by a 'tard in a Corsa.
TLDR - Join some form of motorsport.
I drive faster than most people, and yet I seem to get annoyed less.
I think you've just got to accept that many other drivers are idiots and attempting to change their ways somehow will only make them dig their heels in.
I find bad driving more baffling than anything. Example, my recent thread about drivers veering to the right at random.
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
I think you've just got to accept that many other drivers are idiots and attempting to change their ways somehow will only make them dig their heels in.
I find bad driving more baffling than anything. Example, my recent thread about drivers veering to the right at random.
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
When I was a younger driver, I was more hot headed. I would readily hit the horn if someone did something stupid and in turn it made driving frustrating.
As I got into my late 20s and now in my late 30s it just learned to let things go. Of course there's the odd ocassion where I will hit the horn but I will endeavour to not engineer situations to prove a point. Something which you see so frequently on those dash cam videos but ultimately learning to accept that you can't change every drive one road rage incident at time helps!
I still remember something my driving instructor told me nearly 20 years ago which was, 'If you hold back, you maintain control' whether that's going through a gap that someone else is aiming for, seeing another vehicle wanting to change lanes etc.
Personally I think it's impossible to not get frustrated at some other drivers. There are some completely illogical, selfish, self entitled w**kers about and even though I only do 12/13k a year I have seen some staggeringly terrible drivers!
As I got into my late 20s and now in my late 30s it just learned to let things go. Of course there's the odd ocassion where I will hit the horn but I will endeavour to not engineer situations to prove a point. Something which you see so frequently on those dash cam videos but ultimately learning to accept that you can't change every drive one road rage incident at time helps!
I still remember something my driving instructor told me nearly 20 years ago which was, 'If you hold back, you maintain control' whether that's going through a gap that someone else is aiming for, seeing another vehicle wanting to change lanes etc.
Personally I think it's impossible to not get frustrated at some other drivers. There are some completely illogical, selfish, self entitled w**kers about and even though I only do 12/13k a year I have seen some staggeringly terrible drivers!
I think myself a better driver than most road users. I have no factual basis for this but nevertheless...
I suspect I am not alone in this?
If you fancy yourself a much better drive than other road users, drive their car for them. Anticipate the things they aren't anticipating. Expect their spontaneous lane changes. Expect their awful lane discipline on roundabouts. If you expect the worst from them you'll rarely have any cause to be upset by it.
Also I know I drive too fast so anyone who is driving faster than me is some kind of maniac who should be given space.
Equally I know I drive too fast so anyone who is driving slower is probably well within their right to- possibly not too confident, or distracted, and should be given space.
When someone is holding me up and I don't fancy the overtake I'll play the hypermiling game. Cruise along as efficiently as possible. If you touch the brakes you've lost. Avoid scrubbing off speed with excessive steering input. This has a very calming effect.
I suspect I am not alone in this?
If you fancy yourself a much better drive than other road users, drive their car for them. Anticipate the things they aren't anticipating. Expect their spontaneous lane changes. Expect their awful lane discipline on roundabouts. If you expect the worst from them you'll rarely have any cause to be upset by it.
Also I know I drive too fast so anyone who is driving faster than me is some kind of maniac who should be given space.
Equally I know I drive too fast so anyone who is driving slower is probably well within their right to- possibly not too confident, or distracted, and should be given space.
When someone is holding me up and I don't fancy the overtake I'll play the hypermiling game. Cruise along as efficiently as possible. If you touch the brakes you've lost. Avoid scrubbing off speed with excessive steering input. This has a very calming effect.
As said don't be in a hurry.
The BMW driver i came across earlier will tell you his racing around got him nowhere. We were setting off from a set of lights 2 lanes into one. I am in a 50 year old series land rover with a trailer, so he just has to get away in front of me or he will be so late. The 2 cars in front of him make it easily but he is running out of room. Bang he hits the curb hard with both drivers side wheels. !/2 a mile later he is in a lay by checking his 2 flat tyres. Now he will be late.
Relax at worst it will take 15 seconds extra to get to speed limit.
The BMW driver i came across earlier will tell you his racing around got him nowhere. We were setting off from a set of lights 2 lanes into one. I am in a 50 year old series land rover with a trailer, so he just has to get away in front of me or he will be so late. The 2 cars in front of him make it easily but he is running out of room. Bang he hits the curb hard with both drivers side wheels. !/2 a mile later he is in a lay by checking his 2 flat tyres. Now he will be late.
Relax at worst it will take 15 seconds extra to get to speed limit.
AC43 said:
(b) get an E Class
Works for me! hahaJoking aside, I do find the kinds of car you drive can definitely make a difference. My daily car is an old E320 and it's a lovely relaxing drive, decent power with enough presence to not get bullied but still inconspicuous enough to waft around and not be bothered.
ARHarh said:
As said don't be in a hurry.
The BMW driver i came across earlier will tell you his racing around got him nowhere. We were setting off from a set of lights 2 lanes into one. I am in a 50 year old series land rover with a trailer, so he just has to get away in front of me or he will be so late. The 2 cars in front of him make it easily but he is running out of room. Bang he hits the curb hard with both drivers side wheels. !/2 a mile later he is in a lay by checking his 2 flat tyres. Now he will be late.
Relax at worst it will take 15 seconds extra to get to speed limit.
Nothing says a relaxing drive like driving a Landy. The BMW driver i came across earlier will tell you his racing around got him nowhere. We were setting off from a set of lights 2 lanes into one. I am in a 50 year old series land rover with a trailer, so he just has to get away in front of me or he will be so late. The 2 cars in front of him make it easily but he is running out of room. Bang he hits the curb hard with both drivers side wheels. !/2 a mile later he is in a lay by checking his 2 flat tyres. Now he will be late.
Relax at worst it will take 15 seconds extra to get to speed limit.
I was always totally chilled out while driving either my Defender 90 or Discoveries.
Some interesting responses so thanks for that.
I'm not specifically talking about speed as I like to make progress but usually drive within the speed limit.
It's more about the people who drift around a roundabout in no specific lane and with no signal, people who fail to signal at all, who arrive at every junction and stop and then start looking to see if it's all clear (lack of anticipation) people who speed through a 30 limit at 38 and then continue at the same speed in the 60mph road and get irritated when you pass them. People who drift along a slip road at 45mph and then force their way onto the road they are joining causing braking and evasive action, leaving all the people following them struggling to join the faster road. People with poor lane discipline on dual carriageways and those that tailgate, people being ever so helpful and stopping to let someone out of a side turning despite the fact that the road is blocked on the other side so now we are all stuck.......... I could go on and on and on as the list is endless and I really think I have a bit of a problem........ lol.
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