Why was I wrong?
Discussion
Please indulge me, I'm convinced that I was right but everyone else thinks I was in the wrong. It'd no big deal but I'm curious to know if my opinion is in the minority.
Driving up a steep(ish) hill towards a local village.
Up ahead I see a car turning around and a low loader driver standing next to his vehicle doing the twisty motion with his hand in the air clearly indicating I should turn around.
I'd have to be thick as s
t to not have sussed out that the road was blocked.
I pull over and prepare to reverse back, look back over my shoulder ready to go.
The guy in the car who has turned around pulls up alongside me and put his window down indicating that I should do the same.
At this point it was clear that he wanted to tell me that the road was blocked, I could see that and I was preparing to re-route so I just nodded my head but didn't roll my window down. He went into a strop and started shouting at me, fk knows what he was ranting about I couldn't hear him through the glass.
Why would I have to listen to him telling me something (unsolicited) that I already know?
Is my Mrs wrong to say that I should have humoured the old tt and listened to him and thanked him for stating the fking obvious?
As I said, all but one of my (so called) friends think i was being an ignorant tt.
Driving up a steep(ish) hill towards a local village.
Up ahead I see a car turning around and a low loader driver standing next to his vehicle doing the twisty motion with his hand in the air clearly indicating I should turn around.
I'd have to be thick as s
t to not have sussed out that the road was blocked.I pull over and prepare to reverse back, look back over my shoulder ready to go.
The guy in the car who has turned around pulls up alongside me and put his window down indicating that I should do the same.
At this point it was clear that he wanted to tell me that the road was blocked, I could see that and I was preparing to re-route so I just nodded my head but didn't roll my window down. He went into a strop and started shouting at me, f
k knows what he was ranting about I couldn't hear him through the glass.Why would I have to listen to him telling me something (unsolicited) that I already know?
Is my Mrs wrong to say that I should have humoured the old t
t and listened to him and thanked him for stating the fking obvious?As I said, all but one of my (so called) friends think i was being an ignorant t
t. Odd, can't see you did anything wrong per se, but my thoughts are:
Maybe there was something else he wanted to say in addition?
Did he see you indicate that you understood, or could he have missed it and thought you were simply ignoring him?
Why didn't you simply roll down the window to say thanks?
His reaction is entirely disproportionate, but I don't understand why you didn't let him say what he needed to say, even simply out of courtesy.
This seems like a totally avoidable situation.
Maybe there was something else he wanted to say in addition?
Did he see you indicate that you understood, or could he have missed it and thought you were simply ignoring him?
Why didn't you simply roll down the window to say thanks?
His reaction is entirely disproportionate, but I don't understand why you didn't let him say what he needed to say, even simply out of courtesy.
This seems like a totally avoidable situation.
Mike335i said:
Odd, can't see you did anything wrong per se, but my thoughts are:
Maybe there was something else he wanted to say in addition?
Did he see you indicate that you understood, or could he have missed it and thought you were simply ignoring him?
Why didn't you simply roll down the window to say thanks?
His reaction is entirely disproportionate, but I don't understand why you didn't let him say what he needed to say, even simply out of courtesy.
This seems like a totally avoidable situation.
I just chose not to engage with him, I could see the issue, had decided what do do about it and started to take action. I could see nothing that he could add to the execution of my plan.Maybe there was something else he wanted to say in addition?
Did he see you indicate that you understood, or could he have missed it and thought you were simply ignoring him?
Why didn't you simply roll down the window to say thanks?
His reaction is entirely disproportionate, but I don't understand why you didn't let him say what he needed to say, even simply out of courtesy.
This seems like a totally avoidable situation.
I've posted in The Lounge as it's not a motoring scenario specifically it just happened to occur in the car.
Another recent example is where a friend offered me money, I had zero need for the offer and have no idea why he did this, he now thinks that I am somehow indebted to him because he had made this unsolicited offer.
You assumed you knew what he was about to tell you, before he had a chance to. The fact you did not wind your window down prevented him from telling you what he thought was important and that you needed to know, so yes you were ignorant. There was no need for him to get upset though, life is full of ignorant people.
C70GT said:
You assumed you knew what he was about to tell you, before he had a chance to. The fact you did not wind your window down prevented him from telling you what he thought was important and that you needed to know, so yes you were ignorant. There was no need for him to get upset though, life is full of ignorant people.
That's my point.I knew exactly what he wanted to tell me about, come to think of it he was being insulting by assuming I was too thick to have spotted the situation.
Why should have to listened to him because he assumed I was dim? I would have felt compelled to thank him for telling me something I already knew, I would have reacted badly to this and most likely told him that I wasn't blind and had already spotted the problem.
Of course, I could have played along just to make him feel all warm and fuzzy.
Stella Tortoise said:
I just chose not to engage with him, I could see the issue, had decided what do do about it and started to take action. I could see nothing that he could add to the execution of my plan.
I've posted in The Lounge as it's not a motoring scenario specifically it just happened to occur in the car.
Another recent example is where a friend offered me money, I had zero need for the offer and have no idea why he did this, he now thinks that I am somehow indebted to him because he had made this unsolicited offer.
He may not have known the area and was going to ask you the best way to get back on his route.I've posted in The Lounge as it's not a motoring scenario specifically it just happened to occur in the car.
Another recent example is where a friend offered me money, I had zero need for the offer and have no idea why he did this, he now thinks that I am somehow indebted to him because he had made this unsolicited offer.
It may have been you that could have helped him
One rule I have in life is assume the person speaking to you knows something you don't. You may have assumed you knew the situation In its entirety but life is rather unpredictable...
Perhaps he wanted to say the next closest route is also closed? perhaps it wasn't but my life tip would be to be more open to additional information.
99 times out of a 100 he might not say anything you would need but its worth it for the once and for a nice social exchange. Maybe he had a really funny joke!
Perhaps he wanted to say the next closest route is also closed? perhaps it wasn't but my life tip would be to be more open to additional information.
99 times out of a 100 he might not say anything you would need but its worth it for the once and for a nice social exchange. Maybe he had a really funny joke!
I think your Mrs and friends are right. The old guy was trying to do you a favour and you were (and are still) just being rude about it.
He shouldn't have gone off on one, but given you describe favours as being 'unsolicited' acts I'll take your description of his behaviour with a pinch of salt.
Manners and common courtesy do not cost anything you know.
He shouldn't have gone off on one, but given you describe favours as being 'unsolicited' acts I'll take your description of his behaviour with a pinch of salt.
Manners and common courtesy do not cost anything you know.
Stella Tortoise said:
That's my point.
I knew exactly what he wanted to tell me about, come to think of it he was being insulting by assuming I was too thick to have spotted the situation.
Why should have to listened to him because he assumed I was dim? I would have felt compelled to thank him for telling me something I already knew, I would have reacted badly to this and most likely told him that I wasn't blind and had already spotted the problem.
Of course, I could have played along just to make him feel all warm and fuzzy.
Your response is really quite interesting. You appear to have actively avoided social contact with someone who was trying to offer you assistance. I knew exactly what he wanted to tell me about, come to think of it he was being insulting by assuming I was too thick to have spotted the situation.
Why should have to listened to him because he assumed I was dim? I would have felt compelled to thank him for telling me something I already knew, I would have reacted badly to this and most likely told him that I wasn't blind and had already spotted the problem.
Of course, I could have played along just to make him feel all warm and fuzzy.
More worrying is that to justify this you have now reframed this as to feel insulted by someone offering you assistance. The word unsolicited is also interesting, do you feel that help should only be offered when asked for?
Then you go onto to insinuate that to have reacted in a socially normal way, that being to acknowledge the gesture and thank them for it, would be in some way unusual or a hardship "just to make him feel all warm a fuzzy". How about simply not being ignorant and not intentionally making him feel negatively? Do you disapprove of 'common courtesy'?
Do you often feel a sense of "why should I?" when there is a suggestion of 'saving' someone's feelings or avoiding upset?
His response was disproportionate, but I think you entirely caused it.
bigandclever said:
Moved to 'Advanced Driving', the mods are on FIRE today 
It was probably deemed by our ever-alert mentors and moral guardians to be important enough an example to illustrate how this sort of behaviour tends to lead toward Ronnie Pickeringesque road rage type incidents. 
OP, your conjugal rights should be suspended for a week whilst you ponder on your ignorant & anti-social behaviour.
Stella Tortoise said:
Is my Mrs wrong to say that I should have humoured the old tt and listened to him and thanked him for stating the fking obvious?
As I said, all but one of my (so called) friends think i was being an ignorant tt.
Do you not think he might have been asking for directions, given you had to re-route? t and listened to him and thanked him for stating the fking obvious?As I said, all but one of my (so called) friends think i was being an ignorant t
t. Anyway, completely avoidable had you not decided to ignore him like an ignorant twunt. Your wife and friends are right
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