Driving lights - they don't work or I'm a numptie
Discussion
Can't fathom out how to turn the bl--dy things on.
My presumption is that it's the button to the left of the headlight switch but that appears to be as much use as a chocolate teapot.
Do you have to have the fog light on too or something daft like that?
If not I'll begin with the fuses & connections to see if there are any clues.
Edited to add, I did search the forums but could only find posts about replacement. Maybe this one hasn't been asked before.
>>> Edited by S Works on Monday 19th April 11:36
My presumption is that it's the button to the left of the headlight switch but that appears to be as much use as a chocolate teapot.
Do you have to have the fog light on too or something daft like that?
If not I'll begin with the fuses & connections to see if there are any clues.
Edited to add, I did search the forums but could only find posts about replacement. Maybe this one hasn't been asked before.
>>> Edited by S Works on Monday 19th April 11:36
rfoster said:
The auxiliary driving lights come on with full beam and flash.
Cheers, I'll check it out next time.
rfoster said:
The button to the left of the main lights are your sidelights.
Evidently the bl--dy sidelights don't work then, because when it's pressed in nothing happens.
Knackers. james24 said:
...Your a numptie
...and while we're trading insults, James you're (i.e. you are) illiterate
Oh and the rest of you are cheeky sods too
:takesontheworldtoday: 
OK, here's a numpty guide:
To check your sidelights, leave your main lights off, and push the sidelight button in. Looking at the front of the car you should see very dim light from both main headlights (and nothing from the driving lights!). And at the back, you should see that the rear lights are on at normal brightness.
Push the second button in to turn the main lights on and your rear lights should stay the same, but front lights get brighter. Driving lights should still be off.
Switch main beam on and your headlights should get a lot brighter and your driving lights should both come on. Rear lights should stay the same.
Press the brake pedal and the back of your garage should light up red.
To check your sidelights, leave your main lights off, and push the sidelight button in. Looking at the front of the car you should see very dim light from both main headlights (and nothing from the driving lights!). And at the back, you should see that the rear lights are on at normal brightness.
Push the second button in to turn the main lights on and your rear lights should stay the same, but front lights get brighter. Driving lights should still be off.
Switch main beam on and your headlights should get a lot brighter and your driving lights should both come on. Rear lights should stay the same.
Press the brake pedal and the back of your garage should light up red.
Lmao!! They can be so cruel on this forum S works i bet you wish u read the manual now! mind you i have done some silly things, i had advans fitted other week n couldnt find the locking nut thingy...after much panicing and driving backwards and forwards to work,home,mates i though i better check the wheel. oh there it is on the rear nut, been on the over a month since i did me shocks! lucky it didnt come of on the motorway!
S works i bet you wish u read the manual now! mind you i have done some silly things, i had advans fitted other week n couldnt find the locking nut thingy...after much panicing and driving backwards and forwards to work,home,mates i though i better check the wheel. oh there it is on the rear nut, been on the over a month since i did me shocks! lucky it didnt come of on the motorway! Bonce said:
OK, here's a numpty guide:
To check your sidelights, leave your main lights off, and push the sidelight button in. Looking at the front of the car you should see very dim light from both main headlights (and nothing from the driving lights!). And at the back, you should see that the rear lights are on at normal brightness.
Push the second button in to turn the main lights on and your rear lights should stay the same, but front lights get brighter. Driving lights should still be off.
Switch main beam on and your headlights should get a lot brighter and your driving lights should both come on. Rear lights should stay the same.
Press the brake pedal and the back of your garage should light up red.
At last a somewhat sensible reply - cheers Bonce
. rfoster said:
...and press the triangular button to the right of the others, lots of little orangey things flash n and off like a christmans tree all round the car! How pretty.
Personally I prefer using the 'fountain switch' on mine to make it look pretty - water features are nicer than flashing lights. Annoyingly though my car appears to be fitted with a self-activating-multi-speed Vileda SuperMop on the front panel of the sun lounge. This ruins the rippling water effect from the fountain - anyone know how to swtich this off but retain the 'LA Casino' look at the front?
mister kevlar said:
I kind of went "umph" when I couldn't make the b
d things work! Does that count 
Gfun said:
Knew there was a use for the girlfriend -
OK love stand in the rain whilst I check the lights.
Well slap me with a kipper and call me Leslie! Another sensible suggestion. The Doris will henceforth become my numptie test first-mate. No doubt though she will manage to position herself somewhere exactly in the B pillar blindspot and talk in an excrutiatingly quiet voice so her input in the test is rendered completely bloody useless.... rather like when I ask for assistance when reverse parking into tight spaces.
alki said:
Lmao!! They can be so cruel on this forum
Nah mate, no regrets - as you should well know, a true bloke NEVER reads the instructions...
1. Obtain new addition to lad-pad or new toy,
2. Unpack said item, immediately chuck away instructions and get p
d off with it when it doesn't work. 3. Refuse to listen to Doris's "helpful" advice to check instructions and find like-minded lads to assist with problem until solution is found.
Rock on Rockers!
Can’t say much had my own personal entry to the numpty world last night - setting up a new pressure washer.(Of course instructions left in box un read - can't be that difficult)
So whilst trying to get the thing to use detergent managed to get a mouth full of the stuff siphoning the pump to prime it.
My dear lady was near comatose with laughter as I spit bubbles and she read the manual (and made it work).
So whilst trying to get the thing to use detergent managed to get a mouth full of the stuff siphoning the pump to prime it.
My dear lady was near comatose with laughter as I spit bubbles and she read the manual (and made it work).
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