Is this for real?
Discussion
:yikes:
[quote=SELOC]
AN IMPORTANT NOTICE FROM HONDA'S SOLICITORS
From Geoffrey Beaulieu-Baskerville, The Law Offices of Dewey, Cheathem & Howe, Solicitors, The City, London
To the Directors and Members of the South East Lotus Owners' Club (hereinafter, "SELOC" ),
We represent the Honda Motor Co., Ltd. (hereinafter, "Honda" ) and its many subsidiaries including Honda Heavy Industries Ltd., Honda Motorsports Ltd. and Honda Lawn and Garden Power Equipment Co., Ltd. As you are doubtlessly aware, Honda is a distinguished worldwide manufacturer of high quality, finely engineered products, ranging from Honda and Acura motor cars (including the newest offering, the four-door Honda Ridgeline pickup truck) to an outstanding line of lawn and garden apparatus (including the HRX mowers powered by the OHV GCV series of engines, and the HHE31CA weed whacker). Headquartered in the Honda Aoyama Building in Japan, Honda's reputation for excellence extends around the world.
Given this context of Honda's reputation for outstanding engineering excellence, our clients have been distressed to be informed of the contents of various recent so-called "threads" on the SELOC Internet website. These threads contain many statements that constitute libel against the reputation and good standing of our client Honda, as well as its directors, management and engineers. Indeed, statements such as "Honda Go Bang!" constitute defamation per se.
Furthermore, the threads contain multiple infringements of the revered Honda trademark and famous logo. Finally, the threads contain many references to unauthorised uses of Honda products in inappropriate applications.
On behalf of our client Honda and its directors, management and engineers, we hereby demand that SELOC and its directors and members immediately and forthwith cease and desist: (1) all defamatory comments with respect to the reputation and good standing of Honda and its directors, management and engineers; (2) the infringement of the Honda trademark and logo; and (3) the unauthorised use of Honda products in inappropriate applications.
In the event that SELOC and its directors and members fail to comply with these requirements, we are instructed by Honda to file both civil and criminal actions on behalf of our client and its directors, management and engineers against SELOC as an entity and against its directors and members in their individual capacities. These actions will seek compensation for the intentional and malicious infliction of emotional distress and mental suffering you have caused to our client and its directors, management and engineers. We will also demand punitive and consequential damages, as well as solicitors fees and costs. In short, we plan to make your miserable lives so much more miserable that you will soon be extremely, um, miserable.
Furthermore, it is our understanding that the entire SELOC operation is merely a rather transparent front for the commercial interests of various enterprises, including Sinclaire of Essex, CarLimits and Lotus-on-Track. SELOC also appears to serve as a thinly-veiled facade for the perverted and pornographic interests of several of the SELOC members, including a certain "Karlos Fandango" (various breast-themed avatars noted), a certain "Rawr" ("I'm the only gay in the SELOC" ) and a so-called "Mr Gimp" ('nuff said). We suspect that if we dig deep enough, we will even find links to al-Queda (wey hey, I'll get my OBE for sure!!). Unless SELOC and its members cease and desist immediately all defamatory references to Honda, its directors, management and engineers, as well as all unauthorised uses of the Honda trademark and logo and all Honda products in inappropriate applications, we will unmask your whole sordid network of lies and deceit and expose it to the whole world. Starting with The Sun.
When are you people going to grow up and get proper jobs, so you can afford real sports cars (like my sublime Porsche cabriolet)?
See you in court!
Yours faithfully,
Geoffery Beaulieu-Baskerville
Partner
Dewey, Cheathem & Howe
Solicitors
[/quote]
[quote=SELOC]
AN IMPORTANT NOTICE FROM HONDA'S SOLICITORS
From Geoffrey Beaulieu-Baskerville, The Law Offices of Dewey, Cheathem & Howe, Solicitors, The City, London
To the Directors and Members of the South East Lotus Owners' Club (hereinafter, "SELOC" ),
We represent the Honda Motor Co., Ltd. (hereinafter, "Honda" ) and its many subsidiaries including Honda Heavy Industries Ltd., Honda Motorsports Ltd. and Honda Lawn and Garden Power Equipment Co., Ltd. As you are doubtlessly aware, Honda is a distinguished worldwide manufacturer of high quality, finely engineered products, ranging from Honda and Acura motor cars (including the newest offering, the four-door Honda Ridgeline pickup truck) to an outstanding line of lawn and garden apparatus (including the HRX mowers powered by the OHV GCV series of engines, and the HHE31CA weed whacker). Headquartered in the Honda Aoyama Building in Japan, Honda's reputation for excellence extends around the world.
Given this context of Honda's reputation for outstanding engineering excellence, our clients have been distressed to be informed of the contents of various recent so-called "threads" on the SELOC Internet website. These threads contain many statements that constitute libel against the reputation and good standing of our client Honda, as well as its directors, management and engineers. Indeed, statements such as "Honda Go Bang!" constitute defamation per se.
Furthermore, the threads contain multiple infringements of the revered Honda trademark and famous logo. Finally, the threads contain many references to unauthorised uses of Honda products in inappropriate applications.
On behalf of our client Honda and its directors, management and engineers, we hereby demand that SELOC and its directors and members immediately and forthwith cease and desist: (1) all defamatory comments with respect to the reputation and good standing of Honda and its directors, management and engineers; (2) the infringement of the Honda trademark and logo; and (3) the unauthorised use of Honda products in inappropriate applications.
In the event that SELOC and its directors and members fail to comply with these requirements, we are instructed by Honda to file both civil and criminal actions on behalf of our client and its directors, management and engineers against SELOC as an entity and against its directors and members in their individual capacities. These actions will seek compensation for the intentional and malicious infliction of emotional distress and mental suffering you have caused to our client and its directors, management and engineers. We will also demand punitive and consequential damages, as well as solicitors fees and costs. In short, we plan to make your miserable lives so much more miserable that you will soon be extremely, um, miserable.
Furthermore, it is our understanding that the entire SELOC operation is merely a rather transparent front for the commercial interests of various enterprises, including Sinclaire of Essex, CarLimits and Lotus-on-Track. SELOC also appears to serve as a thinly-veiled facade for the perverted and pornographic interests of several of the SELOC members, including a certain "Karlos Fandango" (various breast-themed avatars noted), a certain "Rawr" ("I'm the only gay in the SELOC" ) and a so-called "Mr Gimp" ('nuff said). We suspect that if we dig deep enough, we will even find links to al-Queda (wey hey, I'll get my OBE for sure!!). Unless SELOC and its members cease and desist immediately all defamatory references to Honda, its directors, management and engineers, as well as all unauthorised uses of the Honda trademark and logo and all Honda products in inappropriate applications, we will unmask your whole sordid network of lies and deceit and expose it to the whole world. Starting with The Sun.
When are you people going to grow up and get proper jobs, so you can afford real sports cars (like my sublime Porsche cabriolet)?
See you in court!
Yours faithfully,
Geoffery Beaulieu-Baskerville
Partner
Dewey, Cheathem & Howe
Solicitors
[/quote]
Very well done one though!
Firkin' hilarious. If you're not a SELOC member already you really need to sign-up and read the drama(s) that spawned this thread. Make sure you have popcorn if you do though!
...well actually, you could save yourself a few hours and not bother.
Oh, and mustard... I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't DPM you on this one :P
...well actually, you could save yourself a few hours and not bother.
Oh, and mustard... I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't DPM you on this one :P
I work for Honda and I printed this off and showed our Engineering manager, made everyone in the office chuckle.
The general comments were how can u take the pi55 out of us when you drive round in a plastic rover 418, with bits of Vauxhall switch gear.
Couldn't really argue to be honest because I'd love a 2.0 Honda engine in mine.
The general comments were how can u take the pi55 out of us when you drive round in a plastic rover 418, with bits of Vauxhall switch gear.
Couldn't really argue to be honest because I'd love a 2.0 Honda engine in mine.
cfoster said:
I work for Honda...
You might just be everybody's new best friend here mate.
cfoster said:
The general comments were how can u take the pi55 out of us when you drive round in a plastic rover 418, with bits of Vauxhall switch gear.
Er, do you really want me to answer that? Are any of them responsible for the Jazz??
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