Returning From Living in France?

Returning From Living in France?

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Doofus

Original Poster:

28,424 posts

180 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
There seem to be a few threads on this matter of late.

We're beginning to plan our permanent move from UK to France (having owned a second home there for almost 20 years). I'm now interested in the drivers causing other people to leave France.

I know there has been some loss and grief which is no doubt a big reason, but are there any other things we should be considering that are causing others to move away? As I said, we've had a place there (87/24/16) for ages, but a couple of months at a time isn't the same as living there full-time.


harrycovert

452 posts

183 months

Tuesday 13th February
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From my experience the loss of partener to be the main motivation amongst our friends.

smifffymoto

4,770 posts

212 months

Tuesday 13th February
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As Harry mentions,being on your own is certainly a factor.

My daughter summed it up perfectly,everybody endures Winter waiting for the Summer and the evenings sitting in the square drinking the local plonk watching the world go by.

A lot of Brits where I live are evangelical about their life in France and how fabulous it is.The reality is many are stuck here because even if they wanted to move,they can’t because of the housing cost.

Doofus

Original Poster:

28,424 posts

180 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Of course, a major life event, and being left alone will be really hard, but we can't plan for those.

Winter in France can be harsh (although we've never done it smile ), but we'll be keeping a property in the UK - where the weather is usually miserable for seven months of the year anyway.

Mr Magooagain

10,781 posts

177 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
I can only speak for myself and my wife. We’ve been here well over 20 years. I’m just coming into retirement from construction now but my wife is still working as a bus driver for a large company that gets the lion’s share of school transport in our region.
We’re both integrated into French local life but my wife more so than me. She was a member of our commune council until Brexit! We still both do some volunteer stuff for the commune but I would say less than before.
We like our own private space so don’t crave to sit in a town square watching the limited world go by.

I’ve got plenty and more to keep me busy for the rest of my life here. I had 44 years in the uk and I’m hoping for the same here.

We are both French speakers but I don’t care if I speak it on a daily basis or not. We’ve got some French people we know well but I wouldn’t call them friends, same with other nationalities.
Plenty of frustrating things happen but no more than it would be in the uk.

Speaking the lingo is key really as if you haven’t got that you’re on the road back to Blighty at some point.

I don’t think we’re trapped here. But for sure I wouldn’t be able to buy back what I left in the uk in 2002 , but that’s because of divorce reasons back then.

It seems as though some have come here and Spain possibly, and spunked their money with no plan for the future.


Doofus

Original Poster:

28,424 posts

180 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Mr Magooagain said:
I can only speak for myself and my wife. We’ve been here well over 20 years. I’m just coming into retirement from construction now but my wife is still working as a bus driver for a large company that gets the lion’s share of school transport in our region.
We’re both integrated into French local life but my wife more so than me. She was a member of our commune council until Brexit! We still both do some volunteer stuff for the commune but I would say less than before.
We like our own private space so don’t crave to sit in a town square watching the limited world go by.

I’ve got plenty and more to keep me busy for the rest of my life here. I had 44 years in the uk and I’m hoping for the same here.

We are both French speakers but I don’t care if I speak it on a daily basis or not. We’ve got some French people we know well but I wouldn’t call them friends, same with other nationalities.
Plenty of frustrating things happen but no more than it would be in the uk.

Speaking the lingo is key really as if you haven’t got that you’re on the road back to Blighty at some point.

I don’t think we’re trapped here. But for sure I wouldn’t be able to buy back what I left in the uk in 2002 , but that’s because of divorce reasons back then.

It seems as though some have come here and Spain possibly, and spunked their money with no plan for the future.
We've certainly known Brits who moved to France in the early 2000s when the exchange rate was well in their favour, and got into a real mess when it went bad in 2007-8.

We speak French, and don't need to work or rely on either the UK or the French governments, so feel insulated from those concerns. I know there are administrative ball-aches, but we think those are at least equalled by the things we consider undesirable about life in the UK.

When we're in France we don't miss anything about the UK (apart from grown-up breakfast cereal), so we're pretty confident. smile

Sebastian Tombs

2,076 posts

199 months

Tuesday 13th February
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I'm back in London preparing our house for sale, and my wife and I plan to use the money from that to buy a place in Bordeaux which will give us somewhere to spend winters in and still be able to go to a bar or restaurant in the evening, as well as somewhere to be old in when we finally decide that we are!

I said two weeks after moving to France that I never wanted to go back, and after 3 French winters I still think so. Even being back in my lovely house for a couple of months and with London being back to its old pre-covid self, I am still so happy about selling it and saying goodbye to the UK forever. London might be great but the UK as a whole is becoming something of a banana republic now.

My wife's (French resident) parents passed away - her mother 18 months ago, and her father a couple of weeks ago. When her mother died her father was asked if he would now be going back to the UK, and it seemed to be the accepted thing. He replied that the thought had never occurred to him, and France had been his life for over 30 years and he would be staying.

But of course he took the trouble to integrate and speak French. If you never do that you probably won't stay.

Simes205

4,659 posts

235 months

Tuesday 13th February
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Sebastian Tombs said:
But of course he took the trouble to integrate and speak French. If you never do that you probably won't stay.
This.

My parents emigrated to France 32 years ago. They worked then retired here.
My father died 4 years ago but due to integrating fully and avoiding the English clique as it was sometime ago she would never consider returning to the UK with us.
Get involved and support the local community, avoid using English trades’ people!


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:26


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:27

Mr Magooagain

10,781 posts

177 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Simes205 said:
This.

My parents emigrated to France 32 years ago. They worked then retired here.
My father died 4 years ago but due to integrating fully and avoiding the English clique as it was sometime ago she would never consider returning to the UK with us.
Get involved and support the local community, avoid using English trades’ people!


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:26


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:27
You was doing ok until the last line. What sort of bullshoite is that?

Simes205

4,659 posts

235 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Mr Magooagain said:
Simes205 said:
This.

My parents emigrated to France 32 years ago. They worked then retired here.
My father died 4 years ago but due to integrating fully and avoiding the English clique as it was sometime ago she would never consider returning to the UK with us.
Get involved and support the local community, avoid using English trades’ people!


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:26


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:27
You was doing ok until the last line. What sort of bullshoite is that?
It wasn’t offensive It was meant as use the local tradespeople as opposed to use the small group of ex pats who only work for the English. Nothing against them it just allows your social group to grow and integration.

Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 17:23


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 17:25

rdjohn

6,368 posts

202 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
For us Covid was the catalyst. We had a great life and nice guests staying with us. Once they stopped for Covid the penny dropped. We were 14km to to Saumur and so totally reliant being able to drive. With no car, trips to Spain, or the UK suddenly looked very complicated.

We moved to France with eyes wide open and had started buying land etc when we were 51. Add another 20-years and the world looked different. Buying somewhere in a town in Spain with access to the airport looked sensible. We are now buying a place in the centre of a town in Cheshire, so no matter what happens to either one of us, future life looks sensible and controlled - simply sustainable.

The biggest regret about leaving France is losing their health service. It is a service and not a system like the UK. My cousin is currently lying in hospital waiting to die. He had a heart attack at home and his wife knew it was pointless calling an ambulance and so sought help from a local cardiologist. He stopped breathing and suffered brain damage. They switched off the respirator last night.

I still love France, especially country folk, we will return for our holiday in June. Leaving their tax system is also problematical. They understand that they owe me money, they seem unwilling to pay quickly. If at all. Finders keepers.

Sum up, forever is a very long time. Plan for the future - have contingencies when life changes.

WhiskyDisco

913 posts

81 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
I recently met a lady walking her dog - she has moved back to the UK after a good few years raising her two children in France. The kids were born in the UK, but moved with her when they were young. She worked in project management.

She told me that now that her kids had got to young adulthood that they needed to come back to the UK as they wouldn't be entitled to work out there once they left school. I though this was a sad outcome for them all.

Doofus

Original Poster:

28,424 posts

180 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
The house we own is rural, but we'll be selling that and buying something in/on the edge of a small town where everything is potentially within walking distance and the Pompiers are fewer than 30 minutes away.

In theory that will future-proof the place for us (I'm 55 this year and my wife's a couple of years older), and also improve saleability when/if the time comes.

Mr Magooagain

10,781 posts

177 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Simes205 said:
Mr Magooagain said:
Simes205 said:
This.

My parents emigrated to France 32 years ago. They worked then retired here.
My father died 4 years ago but due to integrating fully and avoiding the English clique as it was sometime ago she would never consider returning to the UK with us.
Get involved and support the local community, avoid using English trades’ people!


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:26


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 16:27
You was doing ok until the last line. What sort of bullshoite is that?
It wasn’t offensive It was meant as use the local tradespeople as opposed to use the small group of ex pats who only work for the English. Nothing against them it just allows your social group to grow and integration.

Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 17:23


Edited by Simes205 on Tuesday 13th February 17:25
So what’s the ‘small group of ex pats’ supposed to do then? Only work for the French it would seem from you’re way of thinking.
People are free to choose who they want working for them.

In past I’ve worked alongside trades from France, uk and other countries. There’s no difference as long as we can do our job.
Integration has nothing to do with who works for you from my experience here.

fourstardan

4,991 posts

151 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Good post here as I'd love to get some Milder temperatures, sunlight and outdoor life in winter to play golf, fish, avoid the missus at all costs.

I like the south of France so couldn't see that being a problem.

Health system integration would concern me but that doesn't sound to be a problem.

Maybe spunking any pension on long term rentals could be a better option eventually.

Do you go abroad on holiday if living in France?

smifffymoto

4,770 posts

212 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
It always makes me laugh when people say learn the language and integrate.
We did,we were on the fête committee,help at the repas de chasse etc but England was and always will be home.

We just happened to live in France for a while.

rdjohn

6,368 posts

202 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
I hear what you are saying, but nepotism is a powerful force.

If your kids are high flyers then getting a good job in Paris is no barrier.

Small town mentality prevails. As we were moving out, I heard of a Brit moving back because his kids stood little chance of employment. When it comes to “we need an apprentice” Jean-Pierre’s or Sebastian’s kids will be the first to be considered. Not Martin or Christopher from the same school, despite the fact that they have had the same education, speak perfect French and been friends for 14-years. Its human nature.

Our Swedish friend was married to a Frenchman for 50-years and to me speaks perfect French. Whenever the phone rings and she answers, they immediately know that she is “etranger” and ask to speak to another family member. Her grandchildren even pick her up on her grammar. Its good, but not perfect. By its very nature, life in the country is very parochial.

Another friend was employed by a bank in Paris, he speaks perfect French, but with his overriding Yorkshire accent. He went to the Paris show to buy a pool. He is speaking with a salesman, in French, who insists on getting an English speaking salesman to help him. That really pissed him off.


Mr Magooagain

10,781 posts

177 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Yes that’s ‘ Nail on head’ there Roger.

smifffymoto

4,770 posts

212 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Exactly that.
Nearly all the British kids go back for University and don’t come back,even those schooled here from Maternelle.

smifffymoto

4,770 posts

212 months

Tuesday 13th February
quotequote all
Rdjohn, which sleepy little Cheshire village has caught your eye?