ATM - Male & Female Versions.............

ATM - Male & Female Versions.............

Author
Discussion

RupertTheFridge

Original Poster:

899 posts

198 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.





FEMALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Nobody You Know

8,422 posts

200 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Were the hell are these drive through ATMS (Cash Points)???

I have never seen one? Only that time I crashed into the front wall of Barclays?

RupertTheFridge

Original Poster:

899 posts

198 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Nobody You Know said:
Were the hell are these drive through ATMS (Cash Points)???

I have never seen one? Only that time I crashed into the front wall of Barclays?
Bicester

Urban_Ninja

1,885 posts

196 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
aye, all the ones round here have bollards infront of them, im guessing to stop people ram raiding.

but yes. sounds about right smile

SunderJimmy

3,246 posts

189 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Somebody's been copying from some American web site I think.

RupertTheFridge

Original Poster:

899 posts

198 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
SunderJimmy said:
Somebody's been copying from some American web site I think.
buggar!

Ed.

2,174 posts

245 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
RupertTheFridge said:
SunderJimmy said:
Somebody's been copying from some American web site I think.
buggar!
check book
cell phone
parking brake

yes

dan1981

17,548 posts

206 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!

PaulHogan

6,587 posts

285 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth

ali_kat

32,033 posts

228 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Why isn't this in the joke thread?

Actually, it is so old, it probably is

s3fella

10,524 posts

194 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
i walked past a porno shop in NYC last month and chuckled to myself at the big sign in the window announcing "ATM inside!" I should bloody well hope so! biggrin

Jazzer77

1,533 posts

201 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
Thought it was just me with those thoughts.....+1

drivin_me_nuts

17,949 posts

218 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
nope, you're not alone ..


FrankDrebbin

202 posts

190 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
i too expected a different thread. I even almost didn't click on it, for fear of being corrupted. In fact, I only did to see if anything could top those birds witht the cup...

Hugh Jass

2,120 posts

192 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Jazzer77 said:
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
Thought it was just me with those thoughts.....+1
laugh

Jasandjules

70,505 posts

236 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
What?

Is this going to be something else I am told not to google at work?

TvrTone

288 posts

213 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Jasandjules said:
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
What?

Is this going to be something else I am told not to google at work?
Exactly, PH is such an education, earlier this week I learnt about seagulling

dan1981

17,548 posts

206 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
Jasandjules said:
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
What?

Is this going to be something else I am told not to google at work?
Probably best you don't......

ironictwist

7,127 posts

212 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
TvrTone said:
Jasandjules said:
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
What?

Is this going to be something else I am told not to google at work?
Exactly, PH is such an education, earlier this week I learnt about seagulling
Seagulling? I am being naive in thinking that's JUST a sport of shooting seagulls?

EDLT

15,421 posts

213 months

Saturday 21st March 2009
quotequote all
ironictwist said:
TvrTone said:
Jasandjules said:
PaulHogan said:
dan1981 said:
Ahhhhhh ATM. Thought this was gonna be a completly different discussion!
+1 ...to mouth
What?

Is this going to be something else I am told not to google at work?
Exactly, PH is such an education, earlier this week I learnt about seagulling
Seagulling? I am being naive in thinking that's JUST a sport of shooting seagulls?
I just looked it up, if it has ever happened outside of Japan I'll lick clean everyone involved.

DISCLAIMER: I won't.


Edited by EDLT on Saturday 21st March 23:39