Jehova Witnesses a knock knock knocking...

[Nic Jones]

Every bd Sunday the JW's recruitment wagon comes a knocking on the door, usually early while I'm still in bed thanks to having worked late the previous 5 evenings and enjoying my 1 lie in/hangover of the week.

So far I've just ignored the door and stayed in bed ranting in my head about them, but I feel this Sunday I want to make a special effort to welcome them (not into the house, I don't want them stealing things) but I'm completely out of ideas...

I need some inventive ways to stop them coming round again. Any ideas oh spiteful sneaky horrible wise ones?

[paulmurr]

Put a "Please Give Blood" sticker on the door bell

[SLacKer]

Stick one of these out of the door

[Greeny]

just ask them, or insist that, they put you on their not to call list.,

[Nic Jones]

Greeny said:

just ask them, or insist that, they put you on their not to call list.,

why must some people be so bloody boring?!?

I need inventive ways, like the ones posted before you.

Hell, everyone knows logic and rational have no place on this website!

Edited by Nic Jones on Friday 20th March 12:50

[Scotfox]

Answer the door with an upside down crucifix clearly on display around your neck ?




Mind you they may just see that as an extra challange to convert you !

[HRG]

Answer the door stark bk naked with just your hands to cover your modesty. They usually can't leave fast enough

[Matt172]

I worked with a guy once who used to have the same problem, he invited them in once on the understanding that once he'd listened to their views they would have to listen to his. He spent a couple of hours spouting on about how great Satan was

[krallicious]

We used to have them call round our house and the Granparent's house most Sundays. We had just all sat down to a lovely roast when the door bell rang. My grandad promtly arose from his seat, strolled to the door and bellowed 'sling your hook'. Good 'ol boy. Never came a knocking again

[Marf]

Scotfox said:

Answer the door naked, covered in blood, with an upside down crucifix clearly on display around your neck ?

EFA

Edited by Marf on Friday 20th March 12:56

[Steamer]

Nic Jones said:

Every bd Sunday...

You think youve got it bad!?!

I live next to their recruitment and training camp... all day long... knock, knock, knock!!

Edited by Steamer on Friday 20th March 12:58

[dibbers006]

Marf said:

Scotfox said:

Answer the door naked, covered in blood, with an upside down crucifix clearly on display around your neck ?

EFA

This does seem like a measured and reasoned preemptive response

[Xenocide]

Put a pentagram on the door and show up naked with horns and a raging boner.

[Bill Carr]

I once decided, having been disturbed by these pests at 7.30pm on NEW YEARS EVE, that I would run down the street after them holding aloft a burning copy of "The Watchtower" and screaming that the day of reckoning would soon be upon us all (or somesuch nonsense - I was a few pints down the road by that point). Only "The Watchtower" does not burn. At all. Tried several lighters, even a gas hob - NOTHING, not even a wisp of smoke.

Obivously protected from upon high.

[matt173407]

wear some leather and ask them if they are here for the gang bang!

[b4bby]

Next time they appear answer the door and before they get chance to speak invite them to join "your" religon whilst rubbing yourself with a fresh chicken and chanting to yourself.

Unless, they pull out a chicken each themselves - then your stuffed!

[BBR]

Tell them 'We're Catholics', worked for me.

[randomman]

Tell them you're Jewish.

You will never hear from them again.

OR

Demand what fked up of a religion dictates that this is the correct thing to happen:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/nov/05/health.re...

Chase them down the street demanding justice for the twins who have lost their mother because of their fked up beliefs.

Oh and do it naked

[daver777]

a lady once knocked at my door and explained that she had many questions about life which went un-answered until she had read the bible. she told me i ought to 'open up' and have a read myself.

i explained that i had a lot of unanswered questions about life until i read the koran. i asked her if she planned to read it, and she said no. i told her she ought to 'open up', and have a read, then went on to comment that reading just one such text was narrow minded, and in order to get the most objective view of life she should read as many as possible.

she looked confused, handed me the obligitory Watchtower and wandered off.

truth is, i havent read either.

[FL07AAV]

Answer the door b*llock naked wearing a Nun's headscarf with your chest smeared in blood while holding a headless chicken and say "Are you here for the sacrifice?"