'Ways to Save The Planet' on Discovery Channel

'Ways to Save The Planet' on Discovery Channel

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MartG

Original Poster:

21,244 posts

211 months

Monday 16th March 2009
quotequote all
What a fking bunch of incompetent tosspots.

A fat-arsed American 'eco-engineer' who thinks that lifting 5 cars up is a scientific way to test a tether cable for the bd love-child of an airship and a windmill, and is suprised when the steel cable snaps - specifying load limits for cables is common you stupid bint, maybe if you'd specified the right size cable in the first place it wouldn't have fking well snapped.

They travelled to the Dominican Republic to test whether winds are more stable at 100m above ground than at ground level, using a powered paraglider. Why the hell they couldn't have just done something as fking simple as send up a balloon on a bit of fking string in the local fking playing field is totally beyond me, why the fk pay a sodding load of cash to go to some tropical island ( apart from the obvious reason of freeloading at Discovery's expense )

Last week they tried planting mangrove trees by dropping the bloody seeds out of a fking plane, and were surprised when not a single fking seed germinated. The fact that the seeds are delicate and don't take kindly to hitting the ground at two fking hundred miles an hour is obviously beyond their miniscule tree-hugging excuse for an intellect. The reason for doing it was that they could plant a few thousand trees quicker than doing it by hand - two fking obvious problems though. The first being the aforementioned fact that out of several thousand seeds dropped not a fking one germinated, and the second being that the cost of putting the seeds into a kind of 'bomb' and hiring the fking helicopter to drop the fkers would easily pay for a fking horde of tree-huggers to plant the fking seeds by hand, with much greater chance of success. Obvious to anyone except these miserable eco-twats presenting the programme.

A previous episode dealt with the fking ludicrous idea of blocking some of the sun's light from reaching the earth by launching billions of lenses into an orbit between us and the sun. First they get some expert in a silicon chip factory to make some test lenses, despite him saying their idea was nuts and wouldn't work. They then try testing a way of launching them using a fking big gun, but what a fking surprise the test doesn't work 'cos their test shot's fking parachute doesn't open. They then try a test launch in a rocket made by the same guys who made a fking big hole in Northumberland using a Reliant Robin at the behest of Top Gear. After one of the Discovery team of 'experts' ( from 'ex' meaning former, and 'spurt' which is a drip under pressure ) threw a wobbly when found a 100 page document detailing possible failures which could affect the rocket which he reckoned they should have shown to him ( they didn't 'cos you wouldn't understand a fking word of it you baldy Yank management consultant gobste ), they lived up to their previous performance and made another fking crater in Northumberland and totally trashed the test payload along with a load of cameras.

Another show was about pumping nutrient rich seawater up to the surface from 300m down to promote algae growth which they reckon will absorb a st-load of CO2, despite the number of reports about similar natural algae blooms being fking toxic and killing off other sealife. Surprise sur-fking-surprise - out of two test pumps one fking trashed itself before they'd been gone an hour, and the other didn't fking work at all. About what I'd come to expect from this collection of microcephalic numbnuts.

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

262 months

Monday 16th March 2009
quotequote all
Not impressed, then..? hehe

MartG

Original Poster:

21,244 posts

211 months

Monday 16th March 2009
quotequote all
Nope, not at all - especially when they keep repeating the same fking graphics and commentary over and over again for the benefit of the fking brain deads who won't be watching it anyway. If it was made for an audience with better memory retention than a fking concussed goldfish the fking programme would be over in 20 fking minutes instead of being dragged out to an fking hour

skip_1

3,477 posts

197 months

Monday 16th March 2009
quotequote all
Nice rant! All 'greenies' are hippocrits basically biggrin

Anyone know when the freeview discovery channel is going to turn on instead of coming soon?

Diderot

8,151 posts

199 months

Monday 16th March 2009
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Very nice rant. clap

cazzer

8,883 posts

255 months

Tuesday 17th March 2009
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Quality rant mate...one of the few thats made me laugh outloud smile

It does beg the question why you keep watching it though?


Edited by cazzer on Tuesday 17th March 00:06

branflakes

2,039 posts

245 months

Tuesday 17th March 2009
quotequote all
clap 8.5/10, one of the best rants I've seen in a while.

ZeeTacoe

5,444 posts

229 months

Tuesday 17th March 2009
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I liked the one where they put white sheeting to reflect the suns light/energy on ice/snow(which is already white.)laugh

XJSJohn

16,035 posts

226 months

Tuesday 17th March 2009
quotequote all
should be worth mentioning that thier "global dimming" idea can be achieved much easier by banning catalytic converters and burning more fossil fuels....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_dimming

One of my personal favourite "educated responses" to a lentilist ....

Ironic that Nat Geo are now suggesting this as a "new idea" hehe

They do some good programs but there can be some weapons grade wazzocks there too.

To the OP thumbup good rant!