Anyone want a dog

[EdT]

This is 100% serious & quite difficult for me to write. After some sleepless nights, our decision is made.



The dog rescue centres seem chocker so I thought worth a post on here. We've recently had a baby, and its now just not working out having our dog here. Paternal/Maternal instincts are keeping us on edge, and our dog is banished to various friends houses, or when here at home, in here new 'training crate' ( a nice term for a sodding great big cage). We were hoping the feelings would begin to dilute, but we cant really see this happening in the foreseeable future.

So, we got Megan from her rescue centre 2 years ago. She'd been there a while, so that, plus the fact she's a Red Setter cross, meant she came a bit nervous, to say the least. Not the calmest breed in the world.

Since then we've put a LOT of effort in bringing her back to happiness.. training sessions.. socialisation groups.. routine.. rules.. and the result is she's greatly improved, although can still be still wary, especially elderly men (possibly a clue as to what happened in her past). She now an absolute JOY to walk in the park, off the lead, and happily plays with other dogs, and people. Megs in now approx 6 and a half years of age.

The easy option is just to ditch her back from where she came. Trouble is we love her to bits, but have run out of favours in the family, and it's not fair on her to be locked away out of sight out of mind. So, we'd like to see her go to a good home; a correct home. She needs a good hour of exercise a day, company (another dog would be a bonus I think). She's chipped, spayed, do wormed/flea'd etc etc. 100% clean & obedient in the house.

Please , please.. no daft posts. This is a bit of a wrencher.

If anyone knows of anyone...

cheers
Ed

[Firkin D]

Can't offer a home sorry but just wanted to say that I was in the same boat 3 years ago and it broke my heart too. Never a week goes by without that pang of guilt of did I do the right thing to rehome her. Reports from the CPL 6 months later told me she was happy in her new home as an only pet.

[Piglet]

Awww bless, what a sweetie. This must be a really tough thing to do. Hope it all works out for you.

[Asterix]

Can't help Ed (as much as I'd love to, I'm in Dubai), but I perhaps my father might be interested and he and his wife have experience of looking after abused dogs - they live in a beautiful place in Somerset.

I'll forward him on this link and see if either he can help or knows of someone else that could.

Best of luck.

[MacGee]

had to do the same 15 yrs ago when our son was born...Broke our hearts when our basset hound had to go due to baby's allergy to dogs.....it was the dog or the baby !!

[staceyb]

Whereabouts are you?

[Prof Beard]

I really can't understand why you feel like this, loads of kids (including myself) have been raised with family dogs (our own kids were raised with moggies instead). Dogs (socialised) are usually very protective of young children and no threat at all. You say the dog is nervous (rather than dangerous) - it is unlikely to be nervous of a child who it will see as part of its family. You obviously love the dog, and children benefit enormously from pets - I'd say keep it and ask yourself if you are being a bit wussy...

[Curry Burns]

Prof Beard said:

I really can't understand why you feel like this, loads of kids (including myself) have been raised with family dogs (our own kids were raised with moggies instead). Dogs (socialised) are usually very protective of young children and no threat at all. You say the dog is nervous (rather than dangerous) - it is unlikely to be nervous of a child who it will see as part of its family. You obviously love the dog, and children benefit enormously from pets - I'd say keep it and ask yourself if you are being a bit wussy...

I agree with this statement, I grew up with a dog from birth til I was about 10 or 11 and it did me no harm at all.

To be completely honest, it sounds like you are creating the problem and the dog is having no issue with your new child in any way.

[skip_1]

I agree with Beard, in that if I was away from home i'd want a dog back home looking after the missus and kid, as said usually the dog would be very protective of the baby with strangers.

[lottie]

I really feel for you and have just spoken to a friend who is a vet about your situation. He has suggested that you speak to your own vet and see if they can recommend anyone who could help you and your family work around this sad situation. There are pet therapists and trainers out there who might be of help. I hope you resolve this so that everyone is happy. Good luck with whatever the outcome.

[bull996]

Curry Burns said:

Prof Beard said:

I really can't understand why you feel like this, loads of kids (including myself) have been raised with family dogs (our own kids were raised with moggies instead). Dogs (socialised) are usually very protective of young children and no threat at all. You say the dog is nervous (rather than dangerous) - it is unlikely to be nervous of a child who it will see as part of its family. You obviously love the dog, and children benefit enormously from pets - I'd say keep it and ask yourself if you are being a bit wussy...

I agree with this statement, I grew up with a dog from birth til I was about 10 or 11 and it did me no harm at all.

To be completely honest, it sounds like you are creating the problem and the dog is having no issue with your new child in any way.

I agree too. I dont know how you can break a dogs trust like this. Shame on you-that dog loves and relies on YOU.

I was brought up with dogs, my sisters kids have a dog, loads of my friends have dogs and there has NEVER been an issue. In fact, its a BENEFIT to the kids. The dog will be fine and you child will love it too.

(Unless there is something your not telling us, and if thats the case and dog is visious then you should tell us).

[EdT]

Dog is not vicious (well apart from squirrels and hating cats). On a lead she can be a pain, off the lead perfect.

I find it difficult to explain with clarity, as it's my other half's emotions. It will sound like I'm passing the blame, which is the last thing I want to do. I'm very sympathetic, of course.

Example, the other day we were in the kitchen, dog outside. I open the door a little, she tries to get in. Nothing wrong with that. Just seeing the dog trying to join us made my partner feel physically sick. And this is the situation which has lastest for 6 weeks now, and I cant see it's going to change so soon.

[EdT]

staceyb said:

Whereabouts are you?

Tilehurst, Reading

[Prof Beard]

EdT said:

Dog is not vicious (well apart from squirrels and hating cats). On a lead she can be a pain, off the lead perfect.

I find it difficult to explain with clarity, as it's my other half's emotions. It will sound like I'm passing the blame, which is the last thing I want to do. I'm very sympathetic, of course.

Example, the other day we were in the kitchen, dog outside. I open the door a little, she tries to get in. Nothing wrong with that. Just seeing the dog trying to join us made my partner feel physically sick. And this is the situation which has lastest for 6 weeks now, and I cant see it's going to change so soon.

Frankly - I think you need help - there is something profoundly wrong with you both - which could make you VERY bad, overprotective, parents and screw your kid up.

[EdT]

Prof Beard said:

Dogs (socialised) are usually very protective of young children and no threat at all.

I would say her (human) social skills ARENT her high point.

Believe me, this is a very difficult position for us.

Edited by EdT on Sunday 15th March 13:06

[tenohfive]

Will PM you, will explain why in a bit more detail in PM.

Failing that, have you tried this website? I've been thinking about adopting a dog recently and it seems to be a pretty good site:

http://www.dogpages.org.uk/forums/index.php?act=id...

[Rotary Madness]

EdT said:

Dog is not vicious (well apart from squirrels and hating cats). On a lead she can be a pain, off the lead perfect.

I find it difficult to explain with clarity, as it's my other half's emotions. It will sound like I'm passing the blame, which is the last thing I want to do. I'm very sympathetic, of course.

Example, the other day we were in the kitchen, dog outside. I open the door a little, she tries to get in. Nothing wrong with that. Just seeing the dog trying to join us made my partner feel physically sick. And this is the situation which has lastest for 6 weeks now, and I cant see it's going to change so soon.

Wtf?! I dont think the dog needs to go, it sounds like you need some serious help, that really isnt normal. Sounds a bit like post natal depression of a sorts

[Catz]

EdT said:

Example, the other day we were in the kitchen, dog outside. I open the door a little, she tries to get in. Nothing wrong with that. Just seeing the dog trying to join us made my partner feel physically sick. And this is the situation which has lastest for 6 weeks now, and I cant see it's going to change so soon.

This might sound a little harsh but I think it's your partner who has the problem not the dog. Where has this irrational fear of your family pet came from? Is your partner overly protective of the baby?

Obviously with any dog and a small child you need to always be aware and not leave them together but loads of babies join families that have already got a dog.

My brother had a very protective dog and was a little concerned she'd be jealous of his new baby. Four years on and it's lovely to watch his little girl throw balls for the dog and the dog has realised she's part of the pack.

[VictorMeldrew]

This is so sad. For the dog. Which part of "A dog is for life" did you/your partner fail to understand? Still, you have no option but to follow through now, you have excluded the dog from the pack and made it clear that the new pack member is the reason - if the dog didn't have reason to defend its position in the pack you just gave it one.

[Steamer]

EdT said:

Just seeing the dog trying to join us made my partner feel physically sick.

She's not a dog person then?

Really feel for you, that dog sounds and looks an absolute dream, if my housing situation was different I'd love to help...

I know this is a pretty much pointless comment to add as it sounds like you have gone way past the point of reconsideration. But speaking as someone that grew up with family dogs - my parents wouldnt have had it any other way... and that was even with bad tempered daschunds!

I was often left in the garden with a dog tied to the pram (geeess that sounds pikey now!)... and yes I did get bitten from time to time... (the dog was never questioned - it was always seen as my fault!) but it taught me important lessons: Let sleeping dogs lie, and never try to retrieve a conker stolen by a daschund!