Non-Catholic marrying a Catholic
Discussion
When I (eventually) marry my OH it will be done so in Ireland and in a Catholic church, no surprise there apart from the fact I am of no religious persuasion whatsoever!
Whilst my OH has only a passing interest in religion if she wants to get married in a church then I have to 'sign up' to catholicism, christening, baptisim, the lot basically!
Have any of you had to go down this route?
It does sit rather uncomfortably with me that I have to go through the 'charade' but to give my OH her dream wedding I am happy to go through with it, as long as I get to choose the honeymoon!
Whilst my OH has only a passing interest in religion if she wants to get married in a church then I have to 'sign up' to catholicism, christening, baptisim, the lot basically!
Have any of you had to go down this route?
It does sit rather uncomfortably with me that I have to go through the 'charade' but to give my OH her dream wedding I am happy to go through with it, as long as I get to choose the honeymoon!
raf_gti said:
When I (eventually) marry my OH it will be done so in Ireland and in a Catholic church, no surprise there apart from the fact I am of no religious persuasion whatsoever!
Whilst my OH has only a passing interest in religion if she wants to get married in a church then I have to 'sign up' to catholicism, christening, baptisim, the lot basically!
Have any of you had to go down this route?
It does sit rather uncomfortably with me that I have to go through the 'charade' but to give my OH her dream wedding I am happy to go through with it, as long as I get to choose the honeymoon!
Just think of the Church as a beautiful building, not a place of worship and you'll be fine.Whilst my OH has only a passing interest in religion if she wants to get married in a church then I have to 'sign up' to catholicism, christening, baptisim, the lot basically!
Have any of you had to go down this route?
It does sit rather uncomfortably with me that I have to go through the 'charade' but to give my OH her dream wedding I am happy to go through with it, as long as I get to choose the honeymoon!
I wouldn't worry about all the signing up commitments.....after all the RCC is just a business anyway....as long as you pay your fees you'll be fine
HappyGoLucky said:
raf_gti said:
Scary stuff!
IIRC you get to go to 'special school' now as well to prove you're a good catholic.... my Brother did it over a weekend retreat??? Must be mad!Registry office and spend the money you've saved buying her the car of your dreams! Job's a good'un
HTH
Had a quick chat about what she considers her likely budget...25K!!!
As long as I have fine wine and a nice car then I'll be a happy chappy
The Mrs is Catholic and wanted to get married in a big fancy, Catholic cathedral. All I had to do was go along and meet the priest a few times. He was a decent bloke, it seemed to me that he was "checking us out" to ensure we were taking the marriage thing seriously. No special classes. (I'm an atheist, didn't mention that to him though)
And £25k is easily spent. I was lucky, the wife was an event organiser (including weddings) so she had lots of friends in the business, and pulled in plenty of favours. Saved us a lot of money - I'd have squandered double what we spent if it was left to me!
Good luck
And £25k is easily spent. I was lucky, the wife was an event organiser (including weddings) so she had lots of friends in the business, and pulled in plenty of favours. Saved us a lot of money - I'd have squandered double what we spent if it was left to me!
Good luck
An octogenarian friend of mine told me how as a young man engaged to a Catholic girl, he embarked on conversion to Catholicism in the early 50's. He was required to attend church regularly to receive what was termed 'instruction'.
As he was sat in the church one day, thinking 'What a load of tedious old b
ks this is' and other similar irreverent thoughts, a fluorescent tube dropped out of the light fitting high above him and smashed on the empty pew in front of him.
This was for him a life changing brown trouser moment. He ran out of the church as fast as he could and refused ever to go back in. He never completed his conversion, but did eventually marry the girl.
As he was sat in the church one day, thinking 'What a load of tedious old b
ks this is' and other similar irreverent thoughts, a fluorescent tube dropped out of the light fitting high above him and smashed on the empty pew in front of him.This was for him a life changing brown trouser moment. He ran out of the church as fast as he could and refused ever to go back in. He never completed his conversion, but did eventually marry the girl.
SWMBO was brought up Catholic and I'm an atheist so we went for the registry office rather than me starting our marriage off with a complete pack of lies. I felt quite strongly about this and had no wish to make a promise knowing that I had no belief in any God, so it would have been a completely meaningless process for me other than signing the register.
MiL was Catholic and FiL did convert / join to marry her and went through the full Mass option - his view is that he would do anything for her. He loved her desperately (still does after 42 years) and knew that this was important for her.
You pay your money and take your choice. Does she NEED to get married in a church for her to be at peace? If so - then maybe that is the route to go if you aren't fussed either way.
MiL was Catholic and FiL did convert / join to marry her and went through the full Mass option - his view is that he would do anything for her. He loved her desperately (still does after 42 years) and knew that this was important for her.
You pay your money and take your choice. Does she NEED to get married in a church for her to be at peace? If so - then maybe that is the route to go if you aren't fussed either way.
My other half is a catholic (though not particularly active one, fortunately) and after 3 years together - 2 of them 'living in sin' - marriage is on the cards.
Having been to a few catholic weddings/funerals, I was under the impression if it gets people in their church they'll put up with my lack of any religious beliefs. Hope I'm not wrong, because between work and buying a house, I just don't have the time for learning what in my eyes is a load of old bks.
Having been to a few catholic weddings/funerals, I was under the impression if it gets people in their church they'll put up with my lack of any religious beliefs. Hope I'm not wrong, because between work and buying a house, I just don't have the time for learning what in my eyes is a load of old b
ks.My wife is RC, I seem to remember there was a seminar I was required to attend, never did, I expect someone signed off on it for me.
I think you have to agree to raise offspring as RC.
I didn't see that as a problem, it meant I could use all sorts of threats to keep their elbows off the table at mealtimes.
Your choice, but what has worked for me is never accompaning her to church.
Weddings and funerals only.
Religeon is best left to the individual. I got myself in the crapper once.
On entering The Internation House of Pancakes for breakfast a place she wanted, not me.
I said "Holy mother of god crepes for us sinners" not happy, breakfast was eaten in silence. Infact it was pretty quite for a while.
I think you have to agree to raise offspring as RC.
I didn't see that as a problem, it meant I could use all sorts of threats to keep their elbows off the table at mealtimes.
Your choice, but what has worked for me is never accompaning her to church.
Weddings and funerals only.
Religeon is best left to the individual. I got myself in the crapper once.
On entering The Internation House of Pancakes for breakfast a place she wanted, not me.
I said "Holy mother of god crepes for us sinners" not happy, breakfast was eaten in silence. Infact it was pretty quite for a while.
Edited by jeff m on Saturday 14th March 14:20
My grandad was a non-catholic but to marry my gran he had to convert, but this was back in the early 40s. However, he's been a staunch catholic since and has only recently stopped going to church because of his mobility. Consequently my mum was brought up as a catholic and married my dad who is an atheist. They got married in a catholic church but my dad never had to go to church or convert.
The religion thing has caused rifts in the family. When I was born both my mum and dad wanted to let me decide what religion I wanted to follow and so I was never christened. My mum's family were devasted and my gran actually stopped talking to my mum for a while, then it all blew up again 6 years later when my brother was born. Although I had to go to church when I was very young when I was visitng my grandparents, like my dad, I too am an atheist.
The religion thing has caused rifts in the family. When I was born both my mum and dad wanted to let me decide what religion I wanted to follow and so I was never christened. My mum's family were devasted and my gran actually stopped talking to my mum for a while, then it all blew up again 6 years later when my brother was born. Although I had to go to church when I was very young when I was visitng my grandparents, like my dad, I too am an atheist.
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