Random Murder.
Author
Discussion

Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
X-fuct-her is on. House is otherwise quiet. I'm bored.

So. Random Murder. We've discussed this before on here. How easy to just slot someone who you take objection to but don't know from Adam.

Anyway, I've been thinking of ways to deal with forensics. These guys need confusing so I've come up with a couple of ways to throw them into a tailspin.

Risk1: You leave a hair at the scene of the crime:

Mitigation: Prior to doing the job, visit the bins of a barbers shop and steal a st load of cut hair. After you've slotted said irritation cover with hair from said barbers shop.

Risk 2: Clothing fibres.

Mitigation: Wear one of those paper police overalls to do the job. Leave anything behind and they'll think it was one of their own...

Any more?

G'kar

3,728 posts

216 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
If you could PM me with what you'd like me to say, I shall.

Wouldn't (really wouldn't) want to offend you.

Nolar Dog

8,786 posts

225 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Just shoot them from 50 yards away?

Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Nolar Dog said:
Just shoot them from 50 yards away?
With what? You'd need a rifle. Ever tried looking subtle on the streets with a rifle?

yourang youtang

176 posts

216 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Wear a wetsuit with gloves & boots.

Kill using a wild boar on a rope.

odyssey2200

18,650 posts

239 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Do it from a long way away with a sniper scope.

Remember to take the empty shell casing with you and wear gloves.


Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
yourang youtang said:
Wear a wetsuit with gloves & boots.

Kill using a wild boar on a rope.
Nice idea. Getting to the subject before the men in white suits get you could be a challenge.

King Herald

23,501 posts

246 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Just kill them, plead guilty, then say you had a ever so slight unhappy childhood, when you get to trial: job done, six weeks probation and a trip on a yacht somewhere to straighten you out. Or maybe a safari to Kenya.


yourang youtang

176 posts

216 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Olf said:
yourang youtang said:
Wear a wetsuit with gloves & boots.

Kill using a wild boar on a rope.
Nice idea. Getting to the subject before the men in white suits get you could be a challenge.
Me sir? I\'m just walking Herbert hear before his bath.

Poledriver

29,597 posts

224 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Olf said:
Nolar Dog said:
Just shoot them from 50 yards away?
With what? You'd need a rifle. Ever tried looking subtle on the streets with a rifle?
Ever tried looking subtle walking down the street in police paper overalls carrying a bag of hair? rolleyes

jollygreen

21,399 posts

232 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Nolar Dog said:
Just shoot them from 50 yards away?
1000 yards and you might have a better chance of getting away. You're gonna leave ballistics though so you' better steal the gun without leaving a trace and then destroy it properly. Or make your own barrell...

Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
yourang youtang said:
Olf said:
yourang youtang said:
Wear a wetsuit with gloves & boots.

Kill using a wild boar on a rope.
Nice idea. Getting to the subject before the men in white suits get you could be a challenge.
Me sir? I\'m just walking Herbert hear before his bath.
Herbert? Either Danepak or Babe surely?

yourang youtang

176 posts

216 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Olf said:
yourang youtang said:
Olf said:
yourang youtang said:
Wear a wetsuit with gloves & boots.

Kill using a wild boar on a rope.
Nice idea. Getting to the subject before the men in white suits get you could be a challenge.
Me sir? I\\\'m just walking Herbert hear before his bath.
Herbert? Either Danepak or Babe surely?
All pseudonyms are obvious. They\'d lock you up as soon as look at you.

Herbert, or Maureen, is safer IMO.

Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Poledriver said:
Olf said:
Nolar Dog said:
Just shoot them from 50 yards away?
With what? You'd need a rifle. Ever tried looking subtle on the streets with a rifle?
Ever tried looking subtle walking down the street in police paper overalls carrying a bag of hair? rolleyes
You're on the wrong site

www.miserable-boring-sod.com/gassing

Pesty

42,655 posts

286 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Just cover the entire scene in oil. I believe this makes it impossible to get DNA from samples

Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
yourang youtang said:
Olf said:
yourang youtang said:
Olf said:
yourang youtang said:
Wear a wetsuit with gloves & boots.

Kill using a wild boar on a rope.
Nice idea. Getting to the subject before the men in white suits get you could be a challenge.
Me sir? I\\\'m just walking Herbert hear before his bath.
Herbert? Either Danepak or Babe surely?
All pseudonyms are obvious. They\'d lock you up as soon as look at you.

Herbert, or Maureen, is safer IMO.
/\re you ha\/ing problems with your keybo/\rd?

carmonk

7,910 posts

217 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Olf said:
Nolar Dog said:
Just shoot them from 50 yards away?
With what? You'd need a rifle. Ever tried looking subtle on the streets with a rifle?


(you either get it or you don't)

mft

1,752 posts

252 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
What's your chosen method? Gun? Knife? Brick? Piece of 2x4?


Olf said:
Risk1: You leave a hair at the scene of the crime:

Mitigation: Prior to doing the job, visit the bins of a barbers shop and steal a st load of cut hair. After you've slotted said irritation cover with hair from said barbers shop.
It might be difficult to do this without being spotted and/or remembered - it's pretty odd behaviour!

Also, it would (probably) be clear to the forensics that it was a cut hair, rather than one that had just fallen out, upon examination. This would be a tad suspicious, and would lead them down the barber shop line.


Olf said:
Risk 2: Clothing fibres.

Mitigation: Wear one of those paper police overalls to do the job. Leave anything behind and they'll think it was one of their own...
Because that wouldn't attract attention?

Olf

Original Poster:

11,978 posts

248 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Pesty said:
Just cover the entire scene in oil. I believe this makes it impossible to get DNA from samples
Now that is worth knowing.

G'kar

3,728 posts

216 months

Saturday 25th October 2008
quotequote all
Spend 18 months going into the nick every week and confessing to random crimes and generally making an arse of yourself.

Then when you do knock someone off, go and confess.

Yeah, yeah, course you did. Eliminated from enquiries, on your way son.