RANT! a serious RANT!

[mark69sheer]

Ok today I had a card from my post office telling me that someone had sent me some mail addressed to my business and that they had paid insufficient postage.
So I drove all the way to the local sorting office , paid my £1.27 and retrieved,

A fkING A5 FLYER I HAD POSTED TWO DAYS PREVIOUSLY TO TRY AND GENERATE SOME WORK!

What in the fking name of ing foobar are you playing at you dildo!
Have you ever tried starting a business from scratch in a bleedin reccession. No? , Thought not. No doubt you work for the education department or some poxy miserable environmental department. Well tough luck numb nuts I DROVE MY CAR TO COLLECT IT AND BURNED THE fkIN PLANET!! Don't you realise I am providing a public service you spawn of dross!! I am not delivering pizza fking menus or double glazing junk mail, I am delivering useful opportunities for you to protect yourself from freakin burglary and the disruption and heartache that causes.
Well tough anonymous chicken st with no return address. YOU will be burgled soon because RIGHT NOW I am focusing all my whole fibre of thought to delivering the woefullest 2009 ever possible in your sad dried up husk of a life.
This is your 2009 hand fkin delivered NO STAMP from me!!



So you think you have won dildo boy but you have lost..
I am £1.27 down but you are already down in my estimation, down to the depths of hades you plank.
Not only that

You used one of your own envelopes. I bet that stuck in your craw you dry old wizzened has been.
Days of glory , you never had them , your best is behind you and even that was st..

5p you had to spend 5p on an envelope for me I bet you nearly choked..

Ha I am laughing my cock off just as I will next year whe after your burglary you wish you hadn't been such a waste of space and oxygen and had actually engaged your brain instead of waving your spotty unnactactive persona for all to see..

twat!



There better..

[Cara Van Man]

9/10.

Almost perfect.

[Shaw Tarse]

I blame Dwayne! ( it was him & Rammage who set you up!)

[Heskey]

Am I alone in not knowing wtf this guy is on about?

[sleep envy]

HTH

[trooperiziz]

<waits for the gang of PH regulars who state they do exactly this to any junk mail that turns up>

[ApexJimi]

[Tycho]

Not a bad rant I suppose but I would probably do the same if it was unsolicited spam mail. Just be thankful he didn't wrap it round a breezeblock....

[mark69sheer]

I'll bet he is so ugly even his arse wears a blindfold..

Dwayne banged his mrs and she screamed with pleasure . . the first and only time in her life!!

[shadowninja]

Ah, that'll be the guys off here who object to junk mail, then. I keep telling them just to bin it. Now we get to see what happens when we don't.

[deevlash]

I hate getting spam mail through my letter box, if sending it back pisses off the sender this much I might start doing it. Maybe then I wont have to traipse to the bucket with all the crap every day.

[SS HSV]

Heskey said:

Am I alone in not knowing wtf this guy is on about?

No, I don't have a clue either but I must award a 10/10 as the rant was truly spectacular - to the point that even the OP had no idea what he was posting about. The vitriol over-rided the content

[gti tim]

I 'think' he delivered loads of A5 flyers promoting his business. Someone took exception to this, so put one in an envelope, addressed it to his company and 'forgot' to put a stamp on it, meaning he had to go any pay for the flyer he had delivered.

to be honest, it's a genius idea. I could bankrupt the bloody kebab shop that keeps sending me menus if i did this, sodding junk mail, don't care what you are selling or offering, if i want it i will look for it, not use you because you piad a schoolchild or immigrant to post it through my letterbox.

[mark69sheer]

I object to junk mail , but the Post office wouldn't let me take myself off the list.

Get this , they told me to send an email to get my junk mail stopped and the Royal mails spam filter blocked it..

ha the irony.

Come on mailing a house without an alarm in a bad area is an act of ferkin charity , especially at my prices..jeez..

[Jasandjules]

LOL, quite a good rant.

Did you actually spit at the screen whilst typing in such a rage???

[CrashTD]

Almost non-sensical thus portraying the extreme rage which hade so obviously consumed every fibre in your body.


10/10

[mark69sheer]

Jasandjules said:

LOL, quite a good rant.

Did you actually spit at the screen whilst typing in such a rage???

I kinda went into a trance and when I woke up my family were pinning me down and pulling the bread knife from my hand..

[FourWheelDrift]

deevlash said:

I hate getting spam mail through my letter box, if sending it back pisses off the sender this much I might start doing it. Maybe then I wont have to traipse to the bucket with all the crap every day.

Fart in the envelope first.

[thinfourth2]

Just shows that junk mail is bloody annoying

Good show to your unknown tormentor

[hairykrishna]

deevlash said:

I hate getting spam mail through my letter box, if sending it back pisses off the sender this much I might start doing it. Maybe then I wont have to traipse to the bucket with all the crap every day.

Me too. I've got boxes of padded envelopes spare that can easily contain a house brick too so I might add a present to say 'thanks for the flyer'. fking local taxi company will soon have enough to build themselves an extension.