A messed up family, I have no idea what to do!
Discussion
This is a bit of a long saga, so I will keep it as brief as I can.
Last August my brother and his wife fell out with me and my wife, over what we never found out, but we suspect it was because my nephews came out with us on a couple of days out, 1 was for their birthdays, and they had a great time and kept calling round to play in the garden etc and with my daughter who was 1 then. All very innocent, but my brother and his wife never did anything with the children, and us spending time with them probably highlighted this fact. But this was never given as a reason by them for the fall out.
In October I met my brother for a pint, and he told me his wife would never speak to my wife again! I was puzzled, so I asked my sister in law why, she denied ever having said that.
I will make the point now that my brother and his wife do not know what the tuth is!
Anyway to cut a long story short, after I asked the question he lost the plot, came storming round to our house which was in the same road as his and threatened us with allsorts, we had to call the Police as we were scared stiff, he has a violent temper.
Without going through the whole story, they spread a whole load of lies about mainly my wife, my mum and dad wouldn't believe anything we said, and basically we had to prove everything, they just took his word as the truth, even though he wouldn't know the truth if it smacked him in the face.
We endured months of him revving his illegal motorbike out side our house at 6am in the morning on his way to work, my dad wouldn't believe it was him. There were many other incidents that took place too.
Eventually we had to move, leaving me in £5k of debt due to the expenses of moving house, as we hadn't exactly planned to move.
My mum and dad basically for some reason think it was my wife who caused it all because she kept asking for proof of these lies that were being spread, so they all can't stand each other. My mum and dad are always busy doing something with my brother and nephews every time I ask them to do something with us. They have supported them every step of the way, even now my brother and his wife have split up, they are supporting both of them.
I don't see much of my mum and dad now, infact when I spoke to them the other night, I got the feeling my mum couldn't be arsed speaking to me. They know we are struggling financially due to the house move that we had no choice in making, yet have offered no help, not that I expect any but an offer would help us greatly. Whereas I suspect my brother is being helped out financially by them whilst the divorce goes through.
What do any of you suggest I do, maybe some input from people not involved would help. I am at the point of asking my mum and dad not to contact me anymore as it is causing me too much heartache.
Sorry for the long post but I really could do with some help.
Last August my brother and his wife fell out with me and my wife, over what we never found out, but we suspect it was because my nephews came out with us on a couple of days out, 1 was for their birthdays, and they had a great time and kept calling round to play in the garden etc and with my daughter who was 1 then. All very innocent, but my brother and his wife never did anything with the children, and us spending time with them probably highlighted this fact. But this was never given as a reason by them for the fall out.
In October I met my brother for a pint, and he told me his wife would never speak to my wife again! I was puzzled, so I asked my sister in law why, she denied ever having said that.
I will make the point now that my brother and his wife do not know what the tuth is!
Anyway to cut a long story short, after I asked the question he lost the plot, came storming round to our house which was in the same road as his and threatened us with allsorts, we had to call the Police as we were scared stiff, he has a violent temper.
Without going through the whole story, they spread a whole load of lies about mainly my wife, my mum and dad wouldn't believe anything we said, and basically we had to prove everything, they just took his word as the truth, even though he wouldn't know the truth if it smacked him in the face.
We endured months of him revving his illegal motorbike out side our house at 6am in the morning on his way to work, my dad wouldn't believe it was him. There were many other incidents that took place too.
Eventually we had to move, leaving me in £5k of debt due to the expenses of moving house, as we hadn't exactly planned to move.
My mum and dad basically for some reason think it was my wife who caused it all because she kept asking for proof of these lies that were being spread, so they all can't stand each other. My mum and dad are always busy doing something with my brother and nephews every time I ask them to do something with us. They have supported them every step of the way, even now my brother and his wife have split up, they are supporting both of them.
I don't see much of my mum and dad now, infact when I spoke to them the other night, I got the feeling my mum couldn't be arsed speaking to me. They know we are struggling financially due to the house move that we had no choice in making, yet have offered no help, not that I expect any but an offer would help us greatly. Whereas I suspect my brother is being helped out financially by them whilst the divorce goes through.
What do any of you suggest I do, maybe some input from people not involved would help. I am at the point of asking my mum and dad not to contact me anymore as it is causing me too much heartache.
Sorry for the long post but I really could do with some help.
Neil_H said:
That story makes very little sense.
Let's break it down for the hard of thinking.Brother and SiL are arses
Brother and SiL's got shown up by OP and OP's wife
Brother and SiL get all pissy and cause trouble meaning that OP and OP's wife chose to move house to get away from them.
Brother and SiL decide to get divorced.
Throughout all of this OP's parents have taken the Brother's side and OP doesn't know what to do.
HTH
Get Karter said:
Iain H said:
I was missing bits out otherwise it would be like war and peace!
Which bit doesn't make sense?
You never mention what your brother and parents gripe actually is.Which bit doesn't make sense?
Without that info, there can be no understanding of their view point.
OP, is it possible that your wife has upset your folks without telling you?
Get Karter said:
Iain H said:
I was missing bits out otherwise it would be like war and peace!
Which bit doesn't make sense?
You never mention what your brother and parents gripe actually is.Which bit doesn't make sense?
Without that info, there can be no understanding of their view point.
scotal said:
Get Karter said:
Iain H said:
I was missing bits out otherwise it would be like war and peace!
Which bit doesn't make sense?
You never mention what your brother and parents gripe actually is.Which bit doesn't make sense?
Without that info, there can be no understanding of their view point.
OP, is it possible that your wife has upset your folks
without telling you?
Get Karter said:
Well if you don't know what the problem is, you can't sort it.
And if they are not going to tell you, ti sounds like you might be better off keeping your distance. Maybe you should write to your parents explaining your position, but please, make it a little clearer than the OP.
elle said:
I can understand if you don't want to discuss what lies were spread, but not knowing makes it difficult to give you advice
The one that caused the most trouble was, and the story kept changing the more we dug into it, that my wife had told someone that knew my brother and sister in law that my brother beat my sister in law. The fact we don't know anybody that knows them did not cut any ice with my mum and dad when we told them it was total rubbish.
The story then changed to it was the children overheard. the comment.
So you can see why things are confusing!
Xaero said:
If I was you, I'd make the hard decision to lose contact I'm afraid. A family like that just isn't worth the hassle.
Leave a contact number in case they change their mind, but don't expect a call until one of them needs a kidney or bone marrow or something.
i'd agree with thatLeave a contact number in case they change their mind, but don't expect a call until one of them needs a kidney or bone marrow or something.
you can choose your friends etc etc
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