Chavington World of Non-Adventures
Discussion
Imagine if you will, a place where...
You have to queue for five miles on a dual Carriageway to get in
You park in one of nine fields, then walk two miles to the entrance
You have a choice of ten entry queues and they're all full
Everyone around you is either smoking or eating burgers (and so are the parents)
You hand over £70 for one adult and two kids
You walk up to a ride and there's an hour-long queue to get on it
You walk up to another and it's the same
And another and it's the same
You try and find something else to do
You pay a Pikey £5 for three balls on the coconut shy (No chance)
You pay a Pikey £5 to see if you can hook a duck and win a dusty toy dog (No chance)
You pay a Pikey £5 for candyfloss
And another Pikey £5 for a bag of radioactive sweets from the hordes of stands, some which are selling TV's and DVD players
You queue at a Burger King for lunch, because that's the only food sign you can recognise
You sit on the steps outside the Burger King with the chain smoking, head-shaven, overweight bare-midrifted and bare chested pond-life because the smell indoors is slightly more disgusting than the smell outside
You finish lunch and try to get on another ride but the queues are now two hours long
You try to win another dog but ...no chance
You've promised the kids a ride so you stand in the queue for the water log thingy and listen to the Orks shouting at their children.
It starts to piss with rain but no-one moves from the queue. No-one has an umbrella.They just stay put in their football shirts getting soaked and lighting up more fags, tattoos dripping and mascara running down their cheeks
You take shelter inside one of the hundred sweet shops
Then come back out half an hour later into the pouring rain and have a look to see if the queue's gone down.
It's still there. And no-one's moved. And they're all soaked. And they're smoking like crazy.
You buy a token bag of £10 sweets/popcorn/ice cream to bribe the kids to let you go home
You queue behind brand new Range Rovers to get out of the park.
You queue behind brand new X5's to get out of the field.
You queue behind M3's, M5's, Jags and a million blue Subarus to get out onto the main road.
Welcome to Chessington World of Adventures.
Don't go.
Don't ever go.
You have to queue for five miles on a dual Carriageway to get in
You park in one of nine fields, then walk two miles to the entrance
You have a choice of ten entry queues and they're all full
Everyone around you is either smoking or eating burgers (and so are the parents)
You hand over £70 for one adult and two kids
You walk up to a ride and there's an hour-long queue to get on it
You walk up to another and it's the same
And another and it's the same
You try and find something else to do
You pay a Pikey £5 for three balls on the coconut shy (No chance)
You pay a Pikey £5 to see if you can hook a duck and win a dusty toy dog (No chance)
You pay a Pikey £5 for candyfloss
And another Pikey £5 for a bag of radioactive sweets from the hordes of stands, some which are selling TV's and DVD players
You queue at a Burger King for lunch, because that's the only food sign you can recognise
You sit on the steps outside the Burger King with the chain smoking, head-shaven, overweight bare-midrifted and bare chested pond-life because the smell indoors is slightly more disgusting than the smell outside
You finish lunch and try to get on another ride but the queues are now two hours long
You try to win another dog but ...no chance
You've promised the kids a ride so you stand in the queue for the water log thingy and listen to the Orks shouting at their children.
It starts to piss with rain but no-one moves from the queue. No-one has an umbrella.They just stay put in their football shirts getting soaked and lighting up more fags, tattoos dripping and mascara running down their cheeks
You take shelter inside one of the hundred sweet shops
Then come back out half an hour later into the pouring rain and have a look to see if the queue's gone down.
It's still there. And no-one's moved. And they're all soaked. And they're smoking like crazy.
You buy a token bag of £10 sweets/popcorn/ice cream to bribe the kids to let you go home
You queue behind brand new Range Rovers to get out of the park.
You queue behind brand new X5's to get out of the field.
You queue behind M3's, M5's, Jags and a million blue Subarus to get out onto the main road.
Welcome to Chessington World of Adventures.
Don't go.
Don't ever go.
To be fair, when I was 17 I took 3 mates to Chessington World of Adventures in my battered old Ford Escort that I bought when I passed my test.
Just before we got there we stopped at a set of traffic lights and I glanced out of the passenger side window and fell in love with a car up on a garage forecourt. I told my passengers "I will own one of those one day".
That forecourt was Mole Valley TVR and 10 years later I bought the Chimaera of my dreams, just as I said I would that day on the way to Chessington.
I'll never forget that day.
Just before we got there we stopped at a set of traffic lights and I glanced out of the passenger side window and fell in love with a car up on a garage forecourt. I told my passengers "I will own one of those one day".
That forecourt was Mole Valley TVR and 10 years later I bought the Chimaera of my dreams, just as I said I would that day on the way to Chessington.
I'll never forget that day.
When was this?
We have a Merlin card which gets us into loads of places, including Chessington. I love it, especially that roller coaster which spins round...it's excellent.
Never had to queue for any more than 30 minutes...and there's always the Zoo which is OK if you like seeing caged animals.
The chav element is no worse than any other attraction in the UK - they're the only ones with money to burn (we got the Merlin cards on a special offer before you say it)
Chessington is good for 6 - 10 year olds when they've outgrown LEGO Land, as they can go on all the rides - unlike Thorpe Park.
We have a Merlin card which gets us into loads of places, including Chessington. I love it, especially that roller coaster which spins round...it's excellent.
Never had to queue for any more than 30 minutes...and there's always the Zoo which is OK if you like seeing caged animals.
The chav element is no worse than any other attraction in the UK - they're the only ones with money to burn (we got the Merlin cards on a special offer before you say it)
Chessington is good for 6 - 10 year olds when they've outgrown LEGO Land, as they can go on all the rides - unlike Thorpe Park.
mouseymousey said:
To be fair, when I was 17 I took 3 mates to Chessington World of Adventures in my battered old Ford Escort that I bought when I passed my test.
Just before we got there we stopped at a set of traffic lights and I glanced out of the passenger side window and fell in love with a car up on a garage forecourt. I told my passengers "I will own one of those one day".
That forecourt was Mole Valley TVR and 10 years later I bought the Chimaera of my dreams, just as I said I would that day on the way to Chessington.
I'll never forget that day.
well done! The message here is: dont go to Chessington, buy a TVR instead. That really is a world of adventures!Just before we got there we stopped at a set of traffic lights and I glanced out of the passenger side window and fell in love with a car up on a garage forecourt. I told my passengers "I will own one of those one day".
That forecourt was Mole Valley TVR and 10 years later I bought the Chimaera of my dreams, just as I said I would that day on the way to Chessington.
I'll never forget that day.
i work 400yds down the road...
Chav central...
My company booked it one evening for a laugh, no-one but us hippies... quite good (even the japanese punters smiled... - we got them pissed in that posh hotel before though...)
i despair every time i see people like that, slothing back to Chess South station with their lard soaked shell suit bottoms and their bare stretch marked folds of stomach, whooping and smacking their kids...
if the PH massive is considering an exciting day out at an adventure theme ride park, go to Florida...
however, if the PH massive is considering anthropology as a subject at school...
Chav central...
My company booked it one evening for a laugh, no-one but us hippies... quite good (even the japanese punters smiled... - we got them pissed in that posh hotel before though...)
i despair every time i see people like that, slothing back to Chess South station with their lard soaked shell suit bottoms and their bare stretch marked folds of stomach, whooping and smacking their kids...
if the PH massive is considering an exciting day out at an adventure theme ride park, go to Florida...
however, if the PH massive is considering anthropology as a subject at school...
Lets be honest here. If you want a chav free theme park then go to, errrrr.... I don't know exactly.
But that's the rub, you get obnoxious smoking overweight plebs and their HP'ed white goods in any place of mass congregation in the UK. It's par for the course I'm afraid.
If you want to avoid them, do not go to places such as these.
Here endeth todays lesson.
But that's the rub, you get obnoxious smoking overweight plebs and their HP'ed white goods in any place of mass congregation in the UK. It's par for the course I'm afraid.
If you want to avoid them, do not go to places such as these.
Here endeth todays lesson.
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