What Inadvertently Dumb Thing have you done?
Discussion
Just saw the "Near Death" thread which was getting a bit gruesome for me, so here's a variation.
What dumb thing have you found yourself doing? Mine is simple enough. We were on Gibraltar for a short holiday I went for a swim in the sea. I was a reasonably strong swimmer and it was a calm day. I swam out to a marker buoy that I thought was the limit of the safe bathing area. Took a while to get there. Turned out to the the shipping lane buoy in the middle of the Strait of Gibraltar - I was half way to Africa in my speedos!

Must be a few others out there...
What dumb thing have you found yourself doing? Mine is simple enough. We were on Gibraltar for a short holiday I went for a swim in the sea. I was a reasonably strong swimmer and it was a calm day. I swam out to a marker buoy that I thought was the limit of the safe bathing area. Took a while to get there. Turned out to the the shipping lane buoy in the middle of the Strait of Gibraltar - I was half way to Africa in my speedos!

Must be a few others out there...
GilbertGrape said:
Clicked on that sodding link with the speakers on full blast in my office.....beanbag said:
GilbertGrape said:
Clicked on that sodding link with the speakers on full blast in my office.....
I once tried to bite the end off a tube of Superglue that had got clogged up. As I snapped the crusty bit off a load of the glue went into my mouth and stuck my top teeth to my bottom teeth, my top lip to my bottom lip, my lips to the front of my teeth and my tongue to the back of my teeth.
It took bloody ages of soaking my face in cellulose thinners to get the superglue off as well.
Another time I went to a fancy dress party as BA Baracus from the A Team. My GF was supposed to get me some of that make-up stuff to make you look black but she couldn't find any, so at the last minute I decided to use brown boot polish. Off we went to the party, me in green overalls - cut off the biceps, fake mohican, massive chain borrowed from my Dad's tow truck and sprayed gold, and all visable skin covered in boot polish.
I woke up the next morning still in my outfit and with crippling back and neck ache from wearing the massively heavy chain. I then staggered to the bathroom and found out that boot polish doesn't come off human skin if it's been left on for like 12 hours.
(We did a similar thread to this on mkivsupra.net a while back.)
It took bloody ages of soaking my face in cellulose thinners to get the superglue off as well.
Another time I went to a fancy dress party as BA Baracus from the A Team. My GF was supposed to get me some of that make-up stuff to make you look black but she couldn't find any, so at the last minute I decided to use brown boot polish. Off we went to the party, me in green overalls - cut off the biceps, fake mohican, massive chain borrowed from my Dad's tow truck and sprayed gold, and all visable skin covered in boot polish.
I woke up the next morning still in my outfit and with crippling back and neck ache from wearing the massively heavy chain. I then staggered to the bathroom and found out that boot polish doesn't come off human skin if it's been left on for like 12 hours.
(We did a similar thread to this on mkivsupra.net a while back.)
After about ten pints one night, climbed out of a second floor student residence window, did a lap of the building on the outside using window ledges to work my way round. Biggish building, 14 student rooms and a kitchen on each floor, then back in through the window I'd came out from.
Didn't realize just how stupid this was until I'd sobered up.
Didn't realize just how stupid this was until I'd sobered up.
Settled down for a spot of interweb 'research' and genital husbandry one evening having forgotten to close the lounge curtains.
I think that's quite dumb.
By the way, if you saw me, I was massaging my thigh...having strained it...and I found a physio interweb site...and was following the instructions.
Wasn't wanking.
I think that's quite dumb.
By the way, if you saw me, I was massaging my thigh...having strained it...and I found a physio interweb site...and was following the instructions.
Wasn't wanking.
Did a fluid check on my westy on the Sat night ready for an early morning blast in the peaks. Got up, crack of dawn and set off through Ashbourne. As I hit the NSL sign, I accelerated hard, and as I hit (a lot) mph, the bonnet took off and flew about 150ft up and across into a cow field.
I pulled over as soon as I could and hurriedly climbed over the dry stone wall and jogged the couple of hundred meters back to where it had landed, and thankfully there was not a mark on it - well apart the liberal covering of cow s
t. I got some really strange looks though from the passing car as they clocked me jogging through a field, wearing a crash helmet, carrying a cow s
t covered bonnet under one arm.
I pulled over as soon as I could and hurriedly climbed over the dry stone wall and jogged the couple of hundred meters back to where it had landed, and thankfully there was not a mark on it - well apart the liberal covering of cow s
t. I got some really strange looks though from the passing car as they clocked me jogging through a field, wearing a crash helmet, carrying a cow s
t covered bonnet under one arm.Got back to the car park from the shops and blipped the remote central locking.
Heard the car-unlocking noise but doors don't actually unlock.
Tried again, same thing happened.
Tried key in lock, nothing happens
Try blipper again, get annoyed.
Scratch head. Can still hear car unlocking but no response from door pins
Try one last time before kicking car.
Notice that the seats in the car aren't leather but mine are.
Stand back, notice my car 2 spaces down and realise I have been trying to unlock an identical model and colour car, which isn't mine.
Feel embarrassed. Embarassment magnified when I realise a taxi driver has been watching me the whole time in stitches.
Shuffle back to car. Make opticians appointment.
Heard the car-unlocking noise but doors don't actually unlock.
Tried again, same thing happened.
Tried key in lock, nothing happens
Try blipper again, get annoyed.
Scratch head. Can still hear car unlocking but no response from door pins
Try one last time before kicking car.
Notice that the seats in the car aren't leather but mine are.
Stand back, notice my car 2 spaces down and realise I have been trying to unlock an identical model and colour car, which isn't mine.
Feel embarrassed. Embarassment magnified when I realise a taxi driver has been watching me the whole time in stitches.
Shuffle back to car. Make opticians appointment.
Once i was changing the oil in my old E36, all done so i started the car and waited for the oil light to go out, it didnt go out. Scratched my head and took a look under the bonnet to see if i could see what was wrong.
I had forgotten to screw the oil filter top back on, £30 worth of good motor oil all over the engine bay and tarmac. I felt very stupid.
I had forgotten to screw the oil filter top back on, £30 worth of good motor oil all over the engine bay and tarmac. I felt very stupid.
- Let the car off the jack without moving the oil bucket I'd just filled (I use ramps now)
- Forgot to replce the sump plug
- Forgot the do up the bleed nipple after doing the front brakes
- Bled the bathroom rad and lost the nut under pressure, surprising amount of water came through the ceiling
- Concreted a section of the front drive without taking a layer off or flattening it, so the exhaust used to catch on it every time I reversed off the drive (now fixed)
- Soldered a plug together, pissed and got it wrong
- Took a washing machine to bits and left it in the garden as I couldnt pput it back together in a working state (was knackered anyway)
- Emailed the wrong person an order I didnt want to place with them as they were too expensive
- Welded random bits of metal together and set fire to myself
I'm sure there's more that I'd never admit to
- Forgot to replce the sump plug
- Forgot the do up the bleed nipple after doing the front brakes
- Bled the bathroom rad and lost the nut under pressure, surprising amount of water came through the ceiling
- Concreted a section of the front drive without taking a layer off or flattening it, so the exhaust used to catch on it every time I reversed off the drive (now fixed)
- Soldered a plug together, pissed and got it wrong
- Took a washing machine to bits and left it in the garden as I couldnt pput it back together in a working state (was knackered anyway)
- Emailed the wrong person an order I didnt want to place with them as they were too expensive
- Welded random bits of metal together and set fire to myself
I'm sure there's more that I'd never admit to
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