Non resident parents - Seeing your kids
Poll: Non resident parents - Seeing your kids
Total Members Polled: 29
Discussion
It *can* work out very well... I've been split up from the ex for about eight years now, had the kids here 50% of the time since day one and there are a couple of key factors IMO.
Keeping communication open at all times, even when you don't necessarily want to. You have to learn to let the reasons for the separation go. It's the past, you can't change it so deal with it and move on. Sure, it can hurt like hell but it's not productive to dwell on it.
Compromise. You may not want to, but will it improve your lot? If so then do it... Pride doesn't really matter in the overall scheme of things and it takes a real man to do things for the right reasons.
I can see how it would be easy to get into the whole negative thing about the situation but IMO that'll only lead to more aggro in the long run. Sure, you can score brownie points by getting a dig in at the ex but she'll only kick back harder when it comes to access.
I've just had a short break to Spain, the ex had the kids more than normal. At the end of the month she's off to get married so they'll be here for a couple of weeks. They don't mind as they get to see both parents and we purposefully don't argue in front of them.
You're both adults, you both still want the best for your kids and if you can work together despite your differences it can be achieved
Keeping communication open at all times, even when you don't necessarily want to. You have to learn to let the reasons for the separation go. It's the past, you can't change it so deal with it and move on. Sure, it can hurt like hell but it's not productive to dwell on it.
Compromise. You may not want to, but will it improve your lot? If so then do it... Pride doesn't really matter in the overall scheme of things and it takes a real man to do things for the right reasons.
I can see how it would be easy to get into the whole negative thing about the situation but IMO that'll only lead to more aggro in the long run. Sure, you can score brownie points by getting a dig in at the ex but she'll only kick back harder when it comes to access.
I've just had a short break to Spain, the ex had the kids more than normal. At the end of the month she's off to get married so they'll be here for a couple of weeks. They don't mind as they get to see both parents and we purposefully don't argue in front of them.
You're both adults, you both still want the best for your kids and if you can work together despite your differences it can be achieved
The ex and I have been apart for around a year now, I have my 2 year old son one night during the week and every saturday afternoon through til sunday evening. It was difficult at first since feelings were still a bit raw on both sides but as already said, you have to put things aside and nurture a friendly relationship, its the least you owe to your kids.
I have my girls to stay every other weekend when shifts allow. If I don't have them at the weekend, I have them during the week. This means I can still keep involved with school, homework, evening activities they do and so on.
However, as the ex and I are still friends, I do call and see them, if I am just passing, and I make sure I speak to them every day.
On occations the ex does threaten me with not letting me see the girls, or with sticking to the one weekend at mine, one at hers, and if I am working, tough, but she has never got as far as doing anything to stop me seeing them.
However, as the ex and I are still friends, I do call and see them, if I am just passing, and I make sure I speak to them every day.
On occations the ex does threaten me with not letting me see the girls, or with sticking to the one weekend at mine, one at hers, and if I am working, tough, but she has never got as far as doing anything to stop me seeing them.
Eldest, can have has much contact as she wishes, although her father doesn't really bother, once maybe twice a month, he has never been to a parents evening or school play, although he is welcome. He has never had her for any of the school holidays, again he would be welcome to take her on holiday with him. He no longer picks her up of a weekend, she makes her own way to his Mums via public transport.
Youngest, none.
Youngest, none.
Funny everything was fine until someone else came on the scene, the times we had arranged went out the window, I was called at the last moment to say unexpected events had happened. Then even though I talked most days to daughter the times I did see her became less and less then when I went to court to have rightful times of seeing her, it became nasty. I had the new "dole lout" other half constantly thrown in my face and it would be better to leave them alone. Good thing is 10 years later, daughter is 16 and now lives with me for the first time starting to take her A levels, took a long time of fighting with SWT but daughter saw through it all and her words could not be happier.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff