The ideal candidate for MI5
Discussion
Our new guy at work, hasn't really had his heart in the work lately and it's been quite obvious that he's been looking for work elsewhere.
He's been off 'ill' for the last two days and as I walked past his chair I noticed a post-it note stuck down the side of it, so I pick it out and reel off a list of corporate aims being:
So looking at the evidence so far, we have an obviously perfect candidate, one who leaves evidence of his job intentions lying around when the service asks that:
Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family.
And also has a habit of writing down our passwords and leaving them attached to his monitor on another post-it.
He's been off 'ill' for the last two days and as I walked past his chair I noticed a post-it note stuck down the side of it, so I pick it out and reel off a list of corporate aims being:
- frustrate terrorism
- prevent damage to the UK from foreign espionage and other covert foreign state activity
- frustrate procurement by proliferating countries of material, technology or expertise relating to weapons of mass destruction
- watch out for new or re-emerging types of threat
- protect Government's sensitive information and assets, and the Critical National Infrastructure (CNI)
- assist the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) and the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) in the discharge of their statutory functions
- build Service capability and resilience.
So looking at the evidence so far, we have an obviously perfect candidate, one who leaves evidence of his job intentions lying around when the service asks that:
Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family.
And also has a habit of writing down our passwords and leaving them attached to his monitor on another post-it.
Edited by Steve Evil on Thursday 4th September 12:18
Steve Evil said:
* frustrate terrorism
How the f- prevent damage to the UK from foreign espionage and other covert foreign state activity
- watch out for new or re-emerging types of threat
- protect Government's sensitive information and assets, and the Critical National Infrastructure (CNI)
- assist the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) and the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) in the discharge of their statutory functions
- build Service capability and resilience.
k did he fit all that lot on a post-it?maxrider said:
Steve Evil said:
* frustrate terrorism
How the f- prevent damage to the UK from foreign espionage and other covert foreign state activity
- watch out for new or re-emerging types of threat
- protect Government's sensitive information and assets, and the Critical National Infrastructure (CNI)
- assist the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) and the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) in the discharge of their statutory functions
- build Service capability and resilience.
k did he fit all that lot on a post-it?
He reminds me of Mr Bean and I don't even know him.
Steve Evil said:
So looking at the evidence so far, we have an obviously perfect candidate, one who leaves evidence of his job intentions lying around when the service asks that:
Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family.
And also has a habit of writing down our passwords and leaving them attached to his monitor on another post-it.
Sounds like a model candidate. Bet he's great at losing laptops and memory sticks too.Discretion is important to the Service, so please only discuss this application with your partner and/or immediate family.
And also has a habit of writing down our passwords and leaving them attached to his monitor on another post-it.
I'd put out an ad to replace him soon as the Govt will snap him up quickly!
That web site is good, especially the bit on the end of the recruitment part. A mate of mine has to deal with their foreign service equivalent on occasion and he is always amazed they are all of one social background and pretty much from the same Uni's and colleges. He's not British by the way.
Another thing he believes is that the adverts for people to join are under pressure from Labour, it hasn't changed who they hire one jot.
Another thing he believes is that the adverts for people to join are under pressure from Labour, it hasn't changed who they hire one jot.
bobthemonkey said:
Just an idle question, but do these 'open' recruitment campaigns actually lead to interesting jobs, or is that still the preserve of those being recruited at university by being approached by a man in a raincoat holding a copy of the times?
Hard to say I'm sure they find some gems, but on the whole the campaigns from hear say don't lead to many appointments let alone any interesting jobs. See my above posts. People who have dealt with them in my friends and family, have yet to meet anyone who wasn't recruited directly.
Its not hard evidence that though, just circumstantial.
unfortunately no money in MI5
seriously - they pay really really really bad
I would absolutely love to have joined up, am qualified and dare i say it even would have been suitable.
Couldn't actually afford to work there. Shame really as you would think they would want high achievers.
GCHQ better bet if you want a bit more money - still cr4p tho
edited to correct my spelling - maybe i'm not qualified after all
seriously - they pay really really really bad
I would absolutely love to have joined up, am qualified and dare i say it even would have been suitable.
Couldn't actually afford to work there. Shame really as you would think they would want high achievers.
GCHQ better bet if you want a bit more money - still cr4p tho
edited to correct my spelling - maybe i'm not qualified after all
Edited by RacerMDR on Thursday 4th September 15:31
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