Friend clearing exercises
Discussion
I saw someone use this term in another thread, and there's various anecdotes I've heard about partners turning you against your friends so you become more dependent on themselves.
Anyone got any amusing (but probably not at the time) stories about wives / girlfriends / husbands / boyfriends poisoning long held friendships?
Anyone got any amusing (but probably not at the time) stories about wives / girlfriends / husbands / boyfriends poisoning long held friendships?
V8S said:
I saw someone use this term in another thread, and there's various anecdotes I've heard about partners turning you against your friends so you become more dependent on themselves.
Anyone got any amusing (but probably not at the time) stories about wives / girlfriends / husbands / boyfriends poisoning long held friendships?
My wife recently said "But I'm your only friend" and she meant it. Anyone got any amusing (but probably not at the time) stories about wives / girlfriends / husbands / boyfriends poisoning long held friendships?
I failed to point out that V8S will always be my friend, or how it happened that I have no 'real' friends.
Currently a member of www.mk2cav.com where I have friends, but not having a mk2 cav for 10 months seems to have moved me from friend to associate for most of those I considered friends. My lack of mk2 cavalier is pure procrastination, my lack of friends is my failure to keep in touch.
V8S said:
Any more? MUST be more of these.
When did you first realise it was happening to you?
I got a job at a company and was told on day 2 that our customer's supplier development manager would be visiting me the following day, and I'd be dealing with him on cost (and price) reductions via a series of Industry Forum / Lean activities.When did you first realise it was happening to you?
It was my BEST MAN. I'd been to school with him, done the same degree (bit weird cause I turned up on day 1 and he was there), shared a sturdent house etc. It had been 10 years since I'd spoken to him.
When I left there I thought I'll try and keep in touch, but he never bothered returning my calls, so I can only assume his wife likes me as much as my wife likes him (NOT MUCH)
Don't know if this is on topic but a few weeks after I met my current GF I took her on a night out with a group of my mates. Towards the end of the evening my GF goes to the toilet, mates GF, lets refer to her as 'L', followed her.
They were gone an inordinate amount of time and when my missus came back she looked pretty sheepish. She didn't say much for the rest of the evening and I was slightly concerned.
It turned out that 'L' had managed to in someway put down and criticise every single one of the group I was with, and even a few friends that were not present. This included a warning that all of our female friends were slappers and couldnt be trusted, and that none of my mates had any morals at all when it came to relationships.
Strangely she has never been on a night out since.
They were gone an inordinate amount of time and when my missus came back she looked pretty sheepish. She didn't say much for the rest of the evening and I was slightly concerned.
It turned out that 'L' had managed to in someway put down and criticise every single one of the group I was with, and even a few friends that were not present. This included a warning that all of our female friends were slappers and couldnt be trusted, and that none of my mates had any morals at all when it came to relationships.
Strangely she has never been on a night out since.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
By way of an update. She still turns up to work but it's becoming more and more infrequent. It seems playing GLC's Your Missus Is A Nutter full blast seems to be getting the point across
By way of an update. She still turns up to work but it's becoming more and more infrequent. It seems playing GLC's Your Missus Is A Nutter full blast seems to be getting the point across
I've managed to clear most of my own friends out without any help.
I was just speaking to someone who'd tried to 'add' me as a friend on facebook. (I'd opened an account for my brother to stay in touch and have been refusing any other attempts to join 'my circle'. Nudge? Wink? Where's the 'slap' button?). I told him I wouldn't be adding him as I'm going for the facebook record of having only one 'friend' who doesn't count as he's my brother.
The only people I tend to keep up with are those that owe me money.
I'm going to start treatment soon for being congenitaly miserable and thoroughly anti-social. Anyone my wife has suggested I 'get to know' or 'go out with' has turned out to be a knob. I just sussed them out quicker.
If you want a friend, get a dog, or borrow some cash from me.
I was just speaking to someone who'd tried to 'add' me as a friend on facebook. (I'd opened an account for my brother to stay in touch and have been refusing any other attempts to join 'my circle'. Nudge? Wink? Where's the 'slap' button?). I told him I wouldn't be adding him as I'm going for the facebook record of having only one 'friend' who doesn't count as he's my brother.
The only people I tend to keep up with are those that owe me money.
I'm going to start treatment soon for being congenitaly miserable and thoroughly anti-social. Anyone my wife has suggested I 'get to know' or 'go out with' has turned out to be a knob. I just sussed them out quicker.
If you want a friend, get a dog, or borrow some cash from me.
My mates accused one of my girlfriends of doing that to me once
"You always go and see her and never come down to see us anymore"
ooh let me see, shes fit, shags like a bunny and lives in Madrid. You lot are still at Uni at 28, do nothing but sit there and get stoned and live in Brighton. Not a difficult choice for me.
"You always go and see her and never come down to see us anymore"
ooh let me see, shes fit, shags like a bunny and lives in Madrid. You lot are still at Uni at 28, do nothing but sit there and get stoned and live in Brighton. Not a difficult choice for me.
Divorce includes divi-ing up the friends I fear. They ought to be in the divorce agreement so we al know where we are and have no awkward moments.
My ex laid claim to most of the close friends with a few tearful phone calls and a few whopping lies. One friend I managed to drag in and alientate after she rang me complaining I wasn't paying the ex enough and I sent her the bank statements to expose the truth (which she refused to read!).
She was fairly systematic. I met one friend some time later who I had presumed has also been poisoned to find that she had cut off all contact with them as well , so I presume they were 'mine' despite having originally been work colleagues of her. I am sure they felt rejected. I also got a needy alcoholic friend, which was Ok because he is funny (not because of his drinking). During the dark shouty days she actually said blokes don't need friends, but she did so she was taking ours with her! In fairness she was welcome to most of them, especially the ones who couldn't wipe their own ar5e without calling and crying on the phone, and the women were no better. She was also welcome to the agrophobic one, the one who kept marrying farmers and the one who ran off with the other friends husband. She can certainly keep the one who told her to make up stories and get me arrrested and the one who kept sending her press cuttings of how she could screw me over financially, as 6 months later he was caught cheating and she gave it all to his wife!!
Wives are pretty good at isloating blokes I find. Probably presume that because our mates don't need daily phone calls and intimate chats to be proper mates that we can do without them. Thus their weddings, dinners and visits are less important than her group of girlie friends. Her chats over coffee are necessary for their fragile relationships, our nights on the beer or looking at cars are stupid, rare and to be fought against.
My ex laid claim to most of the close friends with a few tearful phone calls and a few whopping lies. One friend I managed to drag in and alientate after she rang me complaining I wasn't paying the ex enough and I sent her the bank statements to expose the truth (which she refused to read!).
She was fairly systematic. I met one friend some time later who I had presumed has also been poisoned to find that she had cut off all contact with them as well , so I presume they were 'mine' despite having originally been work colleagues of her. I am sure they felt rejected. I also got a needy alcoholic friend, which was Ok because he is funny (not because of his drinking). During the dark shouty days she actually said blokes don't need friends, but she did so she was taking ours with her! In fairness she was welcome to most of them, especially the ones who couldn't wipe their own ar5e without calling and crying on the phone, and the women were no better. She was also welcome to the agrophobic one, the one who kept marrying farmers and the one who ran off with the other friends husband. She can certainly keep the one who told her to make up stories and get me arrrested and the one who kept sending her press cuttings of how she could screw me over financially, as 6 months later he was caught cheating and she gave it all to his wife!!
Wives are pretty good at isloating blokes I find. Probably presume that because our mates don't need daily phone calls and intimate chats to be proper mates that we can do without them. Thus their weddings, dinners and visits are less important than her group of girlie friends. Her chats over coffee are necessary for their fragile relationships, our nights on the beer or looking at cars are stupid, rare and to be fought against.
Edited by Brown and Boris on Wednesday 3rd September 18:20
Brown and Boris said:
Divorce includes divi-ing up the friends I fear. They ought to be in the divorce agreement so we al know where we are and have no awkward moments.
My ex laid claim to most of the close friends with a few tearful phone calls and a few whopping lies. One friend I managed to drag in and alientate after she rang me complaining I wasn't paying the ex enough and I sent her the bank statements to expose the truth (which she refused to read!).
She was fairly systematic. I met one friend some time later who I had presumed has also been poisoned to find that she had cut off all contact with them as well , so I presume they were 'mine' despite having originally been work colleagues of her. I am sure they felt rejected. I also got a needy alcoholic friend, which was Ok because he is funny (not because of his drinking). During the dark shouty days she actually said blokes don't need friends, but she did so she was taking ours with her! In fairness she was welcome to most of them, especially the ones who couldn't wipe their own ar5e without calling and crying on the phone, and the women were no better. She was also welcome to the agrophobic one, the one who kept marrying farmers and the one who ran off with the other friends husband. She can certainly keep the one who told her to make up stories and get me arrrested and the one who kept sending her press cuttings of how she could screw me over financially, as 6 months later he was caught cheating and she gave it all to his wife!!
Wives are pretty good at isloating blokes I find. Probably presume that because our mates don't need daily phone calls and intimate chats to be proper mates that we can do without them. Thus their weddings, dinners and visits are less important than her group of girlie friends. Her chats over coffee are necessary for their fragile relationships, our nights on the beer or looking at cars are stupid, rare and to be fought against.
hearing so much stuff like this is scaring the crap out of any ambitions I might have for marriage in the future My ex laid claim to most of the close friends with a few tearful phone calls and a few whopping lies. One friend I managed to drag in and alientate after she rang me complaining I wasn't paying the ex enough and I sent her the bank statements to expose the truth (which she refused to read!).
She was fairly systematic. I met one friend some time later who I had presumed has also been poisoned to find that she had cut off all contact with them as well , so I presume they were 'mine' despite having originally been work colleagues of her. I am sure they felt rejected. I also got a needy alcoholic friend, which was Ok because he is funny (not because of his drinking). During the dark shouty days she actually said blokes don't need friends, but she did so she was taking ours with her! In fairness she was welcome to most of them, especially the ones who couldn't wipe their own ar5e without calling and crying on the phone, and the women were no better. She was also welcome to the agrophobic one, the one who kept marrying farmers and the one who ran off with the other friends husband. She can certainly keep the one who told her to make up stories and get me arrrested and the one who kept sending her press cuttings of how she could screw me over financially, as 6 months later he was caught cheating and she gave it all to his wife!!
Wives are pretty good at isloating blokes I find. Probably presume that because our mates don't need daily phone calls and intimate chats to be proper mates that we can do without them. Thus their weddings, dinners and visits are less important than her group of girlie friends. Her chats over coffee are necessary for their fragile relationships, our nights on the beer or looking at cars are stupid, rare and to be fought against.
Edited by Brown and Boris on Wednesday 3rd September 18:20
In 1999 I moved to my dream location, a 5 bed detached house with double garage in stone in a quiet north Bucks village. I knew everyone in the village, and was very friendly with everyone. Made some great friends, the pub was just over the road it was bloody great.
My wife hated it, and my daughter attended a school miles away for a reason my wife knew. In 2002 we split and she went to live with her sister in Berks. I had to sell the house and move into rented accom, got shafted by a firm of divorce solicitors and eventually moved out.
I lost all my village mates. No more going down the pub for a game of skittles, no more village cricket. Going back to see anyone was too painful.
On the upside I am now married with some new friends, although one of those has got depression and won't talk to me.
Ho hum.
postscript: now married building a houseand I am a house husband, so things looking up or down depending on your point of view.
My wife hated it, and my daughter attended a school miles away for a reason my wife knew. In 2002 we split and she went to live with her sister in Berks. I had to sell the house and move into rented accom, got shafted by a firm of divorce solicitors and eventually moved out.
I lost all my village mates. No more going down the pub for a game of skittles, no more village cricket. Going back to see anyone was too painful.
On the upside I am now married with some new friends, although one of those has got depression and won't talk to me.
Ho hum.
postscript: now married building a houseand I am a house husband, so things looking up or down depending on your point of view.
What's the desperate need for 'friends' all of a sudden? I hardly know anybody where I live, and really don't feel the need to go out for 'hugs' with other people, especially guys.
Having lived overseas for years, but still not working in England even though we live here, most people I meet are of very little interest to me, and me to them. I have nothing in common with most of them, and most guys don't want to talk about hot rods, welding, fabrication, or foreign travel experiences etc. I dislike sports, watch very little tv, have no knowledge of the Olympics, horse racing, football and the terms therein, modern car models, will not entertain 'reality' shows, I don't drink alcohol, nor smoke cigarettes.
If I perchance meet up with old mates from 20 years ago, when I DID live in pubs 7 days a week, we spend a few hours catching up, swap family history, then go our own ways, secure that we have nothing in common any more.
They have no interest in drag racing in the Philippines, or the sleaze pots of Bangkok, and I have no interest in the darts tournament in the the local working mens clubs.
I know other people, see a couple of other hot rod type guys once in a blue moon to BS about cars and stuff, but none of this meeting up twice a week to swap stories and life drama.
My wife recently told me, in a moment of almost uncanny clarity: "you don't like meeting people in case they don't like you". Which I thought was rather deep of her. I thought about it a lot, then realised that I don't really like meeting new people because I might not like them.
There's nothing worse than spending an arranged evening chatting to someone who bores the bag off you.
Sad old bustard eh? Pop round and see me sometime....NOT.
Having lived overseas for years, but still not working in England even though we live here, most people I meet are of very little interest to me, and me to them. I have nothing in common with most of them, and most guys don't want to talk about hot rods, welding, fabrication, or foreign travel experiences etc. I dislike sports, watch very little tv, have no knowledge of the Olympics, horse racing, football and the terms therein, modern car models, will not entertain 'reality' shows, I don't drink alcohol, nor smoke cigarettes.
If I perchance meet up with old mates from 20 years ago, when I DID live in pubs 7 days a week, we spend a few hours catching up, swap family history, then go our own ways, secure that we have nothing in common any more.
They have no interest in drag racing in the Philippines, or the sleaze pots of Bangkok, and I have no interest in the darts tournament in the the local working mens clubs.
I know other people, see a couple of other hot rod type guys once in a blue moon to BS about cars and stuff, but none of this meeting up twice a week to swap stories and life drama.
My wife recently told me, in a moment of almost uncanny clarity: "you don't like meeting people in case they don't like you". Which I thought was rather deep of her. I thought about it a lot, then realised that I don't really like meeting new people because I might not like them.
There's nothing worse than spending an arranged evening chatting to someone who bores the bag off you.
Sad old bustard eh? Pop round and see me sometime....NOT.
you can see it once its happened, thats for sure. i managed to neglect my mates, trying too hard to do the right thing by the person i was with. then, when i eventually wanted to start seeing more of them id get told i was stupid for wanting to go out, that i was obviously "up to something else" and that i didnt care any more
lesson learnt. luckily im a guy and bloke mates tend to stick around, even when you dont see them for ages! lol!
lesson learnt. luckily im a guy and bloke mates tend to stick around, even when you dont see them for ages! lol!
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