Find Harry a hobby
Discussion
Picture the scene, chaps. It’s the runup to new year, and I am watching a film with a friend, while getting nicely marinated on a rather quaffable burgundy. It’s about a chap who swears off the opposite sex for 40 days. My friend asserts that this is a good idea – she thinks that it is admirable and achievable. Actually, with sober hindsight, this is a big lie – she clearly wished to inflict pain on me.
However, I, in a moment of drunken frailty, I took the bet. I am still bashing out the details of the contract; she claims I have lost already because of new year’s morning activity; as there was no sleep involved, I am arguing that it is a natural extension of new year’s eve activities and as such outside the ambit of the wager. I am also negotiating for snogging rights – as far as I am concerned this is barely a sexual activity and so should be excluded. You get the picture.
The prize is hardly worth it – if I lose, I have to take her and 2 friends of her choice out to dinner. If I win, I get her Feb 14th reservation at Chez Bruce, she pays, and I get to take as a date her beautiful workmate (the girl has agreed to the terms – she’s not going to be dragged there against her will or anything. I’m not Vixpy, chaps).
Moreover, a point of principle must be proved, and I think I need to stick to the spirit of the bet. A foolish bet? Not a bit of it. My logic states that in this lull period after a drunken Christmas, people will be in more, less inclined to go out and misbehave; that suddenly, the environment will be less conducive to romance. Also, my best friend’s away and so I can’t do anything stupid there, and I intend to stay in and watch TV for the next few weekends anyway. Or go home and inflict myself on my long-suffering parental unit. Either way, stay out of trouble. I’m knackered, frankly.
However, on those occasions when I shave and venture out of the house, I am going to need distraction from the temptations out there. I have several options:
1) Become so obnoxious that any woman I go near runs a mile. Pro: not that hard as this is probably just a conversion of degree, rather than type. Con: not that fun for me. Or the poor girls involved.
2) Become gay. Works within the letter of the bet, if perhaps not the spirit. Pro: Hanging out in great bars, and beautiful girls as fag hags! Con: Bumsex & Barbra Streisand.
3) Find a hobby and stay away from bars entirely. Pro: constructive, interesting, new! Con: er, what the hell kind of hobby happens during winter evenings, doesn’t involve smut and keeps you out of the pub? And is actually fun?p
Help me, wise ones of the internet ether. The alternatives are obnoxiousness or homosexuality, and what happens if I become too attached to either?...
However, I, in a moment of drunken frailty, I took the bet. I am still bashing out the details of the contract; she claims I have lost already because of new year’s morning activity; as there was no sleep involved, I am arguing that it is a natural extension of new year’s eve activities and as such outside the ambit of the wager. I am also negotiating for snogging rights – as far as I am concerned this is barely a sexual activity and so should be excluded. You get the picture.
The prize is hardly worth it – if I lose, I have to take her and 2 friends of her choice out to dinner. If I win, I get her Feb 14th reservation at Chez Bruce, she pays, and I get to take as a date her beautiful workmate (the girl has agreed to the terms – she’s not going to be dragged there against her will or anything. I’m not Vixpy, chaps).
Moreover, a point of principle must be proved, and I think I need to stick to the spirit of the bet. A foolish bet? Not a bit of it. My logic states that in this lull period after a drunken Christmas, people will be in more, less inclined to go out and misbehave; that suddenly, the environment will be less conducive to romance. Also, my best friend’s away and so I can’t do anything stupid there, and I intend to stay in and watch TV for the next few weekends anyway. Or go home and inflict myself on my long-suffering parental unit. Either way, stay out of trouble. I’m knackered, frankly.
However, on those occasions when I shave and venture out of the house, I am going to need distraction from the temptations out there. I have several options:
1) Become so obnoxious that any woman I go near runs a mile. Pro: not that hard as this is probably just a conversion of degree, rather than type. Con: not that fun for me. Or the poor girls involved.
2) Become gay. Works within the letter of the bet, if perhaps not the spirit. Pro: Hanging out in great bars, and beautiful girls as fag hags! Con: Bumsex & Barbra Streisand.
3) Find a hobby and stay away from bars entirely. Pro: constructive, interesting, new! Con: er, what the hell kind of hobby happens during winter evenings, doesn’t involve smut and keeps you out of the pub? And is actually fun?p
Help me, wise ones of the internet ether. The alternatives are obnoxiousness or homosexuality, and what happens if I become too attached to either?...
Aha there is a solution out there old chap.
Find something to become addicted to for a short period, then attempt to wean yourself off... The weaning off may be the tough part.
Can I suggest trying an online multiplayer game of some sort? World of Warcraft would get my nod.
If you, like most guys, like a blast on a computer game every so often, there is every chance you will get utterly sucked into it and will be forced to take a laptop with you for your feb 14th rendevous :P
Find something to become addicted to for a short period, then attempt to wean yourself off... The weaning off may be the tough part.
Can I suggest trying an online multiplayer game of some sort? World of Warcraft would get my nod.
If you, like most guys, like a blast on a computer game every so often, there is every chance you will get utterly sucked into it and will be forced to take a laptop with you for your feb 14th rendevous :P
Axeman30 said:
Hang on Flashman....lets get this straight, your sitting on a sofa quaffing wine and watching movies with one of your female friends and you somehow managed to get through the night without accidentally shagging her?
>> Edited by Axeman30 on Thursday 5th January 14:41
Yeah. She's taller than me, and has 20-20 vision.
You win some, you lose some.
Harry Flashman said:
1) Become so obnoxious that any woman I go near runs a mile. Pro: not that hard as this is probably just a conversion of degree, rather than type. Con: not that fun for me. Or the poor girls involved.
2) Become gay. Works within the letter of the bet, if perhaps not the spirit. Pro: Hanging out in great bars, and beautiful girls as fag hags! Con: Bumsex & Barbra Streisand.
3) Find a hobby and stay away from bars entirely. Pro: constructive, interesting, new! Con: er, what the hell kind of hobby happens during winter evenings, doesn’t involve smut and keeps you out of the pub? And is actually fun?p
Help me, wise ones of the internet ether. The alternatives are obnoxiousness or homosexuality, and what happens if I become too attached to either?...
1. Whenever I have tried this in the past its worked the opposite. Not a good shout. Deliberately try to act aloof because your aren't game and you'll find them crawling all over you. Typical. Act decent and charming and not a sniff....
2. Lets face it, you're halfway there. Bite into the scatter cushions.
3. If you dont have a vague idea what to do already, it probably means you dont really have much passion to do it. Mountain boarding? Biking? Go to more car/bike shows/drives etc?
Some more to throw in..
1. Borrow Vixpy's guide to charm
2. Chastity belt (see 1)
3. Stick a picture of your mum on every girl you meet.
4. the Something about Mary approach before going out.
5. Lie and claim to win the bet regardless.
Axeman30 said:
Hang on Flashman....lets get this straight, your sitting on a sofa quaffing wine and watching movies with one of your female friends and you somehow managed to get through the night without accidentally shagging her?
>> Edited by Axeman30 on Thursday 5th January 14:41
"she claims I have lost already because of new year’s morning activity; as there was no sleep involved"
Oh hang on you DID shag her. Phew I was getting worried about you!
>> Edited by Axeman30 on Thursday 5th January 14:44
It's shocking isn't it
TheLemming said:
Aha there is a solution out there old chap.
Find something to become addicted to for a short period, then attempt to wean yourself off... The weaning off may be the tough part.
Can I suggest trying an online multiplayer game of some sort? World of Warcraft would get my nod.
If you, like most guys, like a blast on a computer game every so often, there is every chance you will get utterly sucked into it and will be forced to take a laptop with you for your feb 14th rendevous :P
For a moment there, I thought you were suggesting heroin. Nasty, although easily available here in London, admittedly. Doubtless cheaper than a pint of lager too, in our fair capital.
Thing is, I hate computer games (and I'm awful at them too). Both PS2 & XBox bought on a whim a while back. Neither ever get used.
shnozz said:
1) Become so obnoxious that any woman I go near runs a mile. Pro: not that hard as this is probably just a conversion of degree, rather than type. Con: not that fun for me. Or the poor girls involved.
2) Become gay. Works within the letter of the bet, if perhaps not the spirit. Pro: Hanging out in great bars, and beautiful girls as fag hags! Con: Bumsex & Barbra Streisand.
3) Find a hobby and stay away from bars entirely. Pro: constructive, interesting, new! Con: er, what the hell kind of hobby happens during winter evenings, doesn’t involve smut and keeps you out of the pub? And is actually fun?p
Help me, wise ones of the internet ether. The alternatives are obnoxiousness or homosexuality, and what happens if I become too attached to either?...
1. Whenever I have tried this in the past its worked the opposite. Not a good shout. Deliberately try to act aloof because your aren't game and you'll find them crawling all over you. Typical. Act decent and charming and not a sniff....
2. Lets face it, you're halfway there. Bite into the scatter cushions.
3. If you dont have a vague idea what to do already, it probably means you dont really have much passion to do it. Mountain boarding? Biking? Go to more car/bike shows/drives etc?
Some more to throw in..
1. Borrow Vixpy's guide to charm
2. Chastity belt (see 1)
3. Stick a picture of your mum on every girl you meet.
4. the Something about Mary approach before going out.
5. Lie and claim to win the bet regardless.
Git.
Although I agree fully with 1) and 5. is a great option - sadly honour prevents (but only just).
I have plenty of hobbies - but nothing that is feasible for a cold, dark Friday or Saturday night that will be sufficiently enchanting to keep me away from London's nightlife. Mountain biking? Do it during the day already. Climbing wall? Love doing it, but will be hankering after the bar and attendant lovelies after the first ascent.
Ya get me?
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