A day in the life of a BMW driver
Discussion
I have just received this by email, and I really couldn't stop myself posting it on here, apologies to all BMW drivers!
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The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming to one of my
motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down
for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely
big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motor way! The
driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an
apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane
(why do underlings use this lane? surely everyone knows it is for BMW
drivers only?).
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the
adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an
inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway,
but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my
headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and
to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him,
he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight
back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,
he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man
gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes
fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had
to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have
some points put on (they're not free points either - they're £20 each and I
was only allowed 3)!
But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't
be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED
a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of
respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!
----------------------------------
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming to one of my
motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down
for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely
big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motor way! The
driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an
apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane
(why do underlings use this lane? surely everyone knows it is for BMW
drivers only?).
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the
adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an
inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway,
but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my
headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and
to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him,
he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight
back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,
he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man
gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes
fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had
to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have
some points put on (they're not free points either - they're £20 each and I
was only allowed 3)!
But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't
be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED
a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of
respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!
CommanderJameson said:
Googled "oldest motoring joke in the world" and this joke came up.
Wasnt Jesus known to recite this from time to time
Yeah, and his dad told it to him in the first place.
"In the beginning there was the word, and the word was this joke about BMW drivers..."
Jesus was a well known Audi fan. Smug t
t.dj111s said:
Googled "oldest motoring joke in the world" and this joke came up.
Wasnt Jesus known to recite this from time to time
Yeah, and his dad told it to him in the first place.
"In the beginning there was the word, and the word was this joke about BMW drivers..."
Jesus was a well known Audi fan. Smug t
Was he black? Now where's a link to that timeline when you need it...
Now that's a joke!On the subject of stone aged BMW jokes, there's the one about the BMW driver who has his door taken off by a lorry and is moaning to the paramedics about the damage to his lovely car. The paramedic tells him not to be so materialistic and points out the fact that he's lost an arm in the accident. The BMW driver looks down at his empty sleeve and says
"well that's just great, my cars been wrecked and now I've lost my rolex!"
"well that's just great, my cars been wrecked and now I've lost my rolex!"
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