Xmas Parties......
Discussion
Anyone know of any horror stories this year? Got mine tomorrow, and can't wait to make a complete ar*e of myself as usual....
A few years back (have I posted this before?) our firm hired out a huge place for the annual do. This involved the usual free bar, sit down meal, and a bit of a party afterwards. Now, we're talking around 1000 people here, most of whom, are (or were) nearer to 20 than 30! To make things worse there was a little trouble in the kitchens, and the food was delayed by around an hour or so.......So cue the excessive drinking. By the end of the night there were bodies and puke all over the floor. A fleet of 7 ambulances had to be called to ferry people awaiting stomach pumps. There were several fights and many "couples" having fun behind curtains and under coats etc.....
The firm was promptly banned from using that venue ever again.
A few years back (have I posted this before?) our firm hired out a huge place for the annual do. This involved the usual free bar, sit down meal, and a bit of a party afterwards. Now, we're talking around 1000 people here, most of whom, are (or were) nearer to 20 than 30! To make things worse there was a little trouble in the kitchens, and the food was delayed by around an hour or so.......So cue the excessive drinking. By the end of the night there were bodies and puke all over the floor. A fleet of 7 ambulances had to be called to ferry people awaiting stomach pumps. There were several fights and many "couples" having fun behind curtains and under coats etc.....
The firm was promptly banned from using that venue ever again.
Went to my girlfriend one in the Grosvenor, Park Lane this weekend. I was speaking to her MD and his wife whilst pouring a glass of wine but was too pissed and too tired to realise that I'd missed the glass and emptied the entire bottle all over their table. When I noticed what I'd done I just sat there giggling like a pot-head. So much for trying to impress him into employing me...
I found a way to free booze at bar-charging Xmas parties by accident a few years back. When the wine comes round to the tables, discretely hide preffered variety and wait for the next waiter/waitress to pass by. Ask them politely for a bottle of preffered variety and a straw 
This has worked for the last three years running
This has worked for the last three years running
Have called one previous MD a Wa**er before now. Didn't last there long after that...
After one celebrated staff party in the casino, where there was a bit of shagging on the craps table, I fell asleep on the bus and ended up having a three-hour tour of the area before someone decided to wake me and the missus up.
After one celebrated staff party in the casino, where there was a bit of shagging on the craps table, I fell asleep on the bus and ended up having a three-hour tour of the area before someone decided to wake me and the missus up.
I was so drunk at the restaurant, i ended up visiting the ladies instead of the gents.
When i finally realised that the gents should have urinals & NO tampon machines,
i tried to leave the toilet - except two ladies came in, and i decided to hide in the closet i had just left... after a bit of pushing and shoving, with me saying (in a blokes voice
)
"there's someone in here" i opened the door and told the two ladies (who were now in fits of laughter) that "i think i got the wrong toilet" and left rather quickly.
This was a few days ago in Groucho Grill (near Chancery Lane).
>> Edited by fido on Thursday 15th December 16:29
When i finally realised that the gents should have urinals & NO tampon machines,
i tried to leave the toilet - except two ladies came in, and i decided to hide in the closet i had just left... after a bit of pushing and shoving, with me saying (in a blokes voice
) "there's someone in here" i opened the door and told the two ladies (who were now in fits of laughter) that "i think i got the wrong toilet" and left rather quickly.
This was a few days ago in Groucho Grill (near Chancery Lane).
>> Edited by fido on Thursday 15th December 16:29
Where I used to work. After the first time we visited head office for Xmas do when our Leeds shop first opened (singing "you're sh1t and you know you are" at the MD from the back of the room
)
We complained bitterly about being so far from the bar so the next year they put us next to it. Unfortunately this was also next to the MD and guests. We then proceeded to use our forks to flick food at the next table for an hour. Everybody else was always pi55ed when we got there as no-one could eat until we arrived from Leeds (usually about 8 o'clock) so we had to catch up
Our Christmas do this year comprises one of our suppliers taking us out for a meal on Monday. Our company themselves give us nada. To55ers.
) We complained bitterly about being so far from the bar so the next year they put us next to it. Unfortunately this was also next to the MD and guests. We then proceeded to use our forks to flick food at the next table for an hour. Everybody else was always pi55ed when we got there as no-one could eat until we arrived from Leeds (usually about 8 o'clock) so we had to catch up
Our Christmas do this year comprises one of our suppliers taking us out for a meal on Monday. Our company themselves give us nada. To55ers.
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