Warning - rant alert
Discussion
I had to go to London yesterday for an important meeting - broken ankle and all. Can't drive or walk, so decided to enquire with my old friends First Great Western (even though I'd previously sworn never to travel with them again, ever. Under any circumstances. Forget it.).
The person on the switchboard must have been an out of work actor practising for a part in Little Britain.
MAM "I need to go from Bath to Paddington return in time to get to a meeting in the city for 10.00am, so I need a Travelcard too, but I've got a broken ankle so must have a seat and, hopefully some help getting to and from trains."
FGW "It's £110."
MAM "You what?"
FGW "£110. That's what it costs."
MAM "How can a 100 mile train journey cost £110? I can fly to Spain for that at this time of year. It wouldn't cost me that much if I went in a Lamborghini. I take it then that that includes a guaranteed seat and some first class assistance at the stations?"
FGW "Erm no. We can't offer you any help at all."
MAM "What sort of customer service is that?"
FGW "Sorry, Sir we can't help your personal circumstances. If you'd booked two weeks ago it would only have cost £68.70.
MAM "Ah, cheap at twice the price. I'll bear that in mind if I'm ever considering breaking my ankle again.
FGW "If you are going to be abusive Sir I'm going to hang up."
Click. Whirrrr...
Let me just say, for the third time this year, that I will never, ever travel with First Great Western again. Ever. Under any circumstances. I'd rather eat my head.
There is a punchline to this story. My father had a day off work and wanted to go to the Hendon RAF museum, so I got him insured on my Alfa and he chauffeured me to Golders Green, where I jumped on the tube. Let me say that my father is one of the world's worst numpties and if you were held up on the M4 by a silver Alfa doing 65mph in lane three, I'm honestly, truly, genuinely remorseful. It was my car but I wasn't driving, I was clinging on in the passenger seat with my eyes screwed tightly shut. If you want to take your gripe further might I suggest that you have a word with customer services at First Great Western. It was their fault.
Petrol for the day cost £30. My travelcard was a fiver, we paid nothing for parking and no congestion charge. First Great Western are crap at public transport but excellent at community relations - they made my old man happy for the day.
But (here comes the punchline) public transport had the last laugh. Some bastard nicked one of my crutches on the tube on my way in. Grabbed it and ran like hell when the train stopped at Angel. As a result the walk from the tube up through Old Street station, and the 200 yards between the station and the client's offices, was a painful half hour ordeal.
I hate public transport.
Public transport is shit.
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 9th December 11:55
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 9th December 12:03
The person on the switchboard must have been an out of work actor practising for a part in Little Britain.
MAM "I need to go from Bath to Paddington return in time to get to a meeting in the city for 10.00am, so I need a Travelcard too, but I've got a broken ankle so must have a seat and, hopefully some help getting to and from trains."
FGW "It's £110."
MAM "You what?"
FGW "£110. That's what it costs."
MAM "How can a 100 mile train journey cost £110? I can fly to Spain for that at this time of year. It wouldn't cost me that much if I went in a Lamborghini. I take it then that that includes a guaranteed seat and some first class assistance at the stations?"
FGW "Erm no. We can't offer you any help at all."
MAM "What sort of customer service is that?"
FGW "Sorry, Sir we can't help your personal circumstances. If you'd booked two weeks ago it would only have cost £68.70.
MAM "Ah, cheap at twice the price. I'll bear that in mind if I'm ever considering breaking my ankle again.
FGW "If you are going to be abusive Sir I'm going to hang up."
Click. Whirrrr...
Let me just say, for the third time this year, that I will never, ever travel with First Great Western again. Ever. Under any circumstances. I'd rather eat my head.
There is a punchline to this story. My father had a day off work and wanted to go to the Hendon RAF museum, so I got him insured on my Alfa and he chauffeured me to Golders Green, where I jumped on the tube. Let me say that my father is one of the world's worst numpties and if you were held up on the M4 by a silver Alfa doing 65mph in lane three, I'm honestly, truly, genuinely remorseful. It was my car but I wasn't driving, I was clinging on in the passenger seat with my eyes screwed tightly shut. If you want to take your gripe further might I suggest that you have a word with customer services at First Great Western. It was their fault.
Petrol for the day cost £30. My travelcard was a fiver, we paid nothing for parking and no congestion charge. First Great Western are crap at public transport but excellent at community relations - they made my old man happy for the day.
But (here comes the punchline) public transport had the last laugh. Some bastard nicked one of my crutches on the tube on my way in. Grabbed it and ran like hell when the train stopped at Angel. As a result the walk from the tube up through Old Street station, and the 200 yards between the station and the client's offices, was a painful half hour ordeal.
I hate public transport.
Public transport is shit.
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 9th December 11:55
>> Edited by Mon Ami Mate on Friday 9th December 12:03
Mon Ami Mate said:
But (here comes the punchline) public transport had the last laugh. Some bastard nicked one of my crutches on the tube on my way in. Grabbed it and ran like hell when the train stopped at Angel. As a result the walk from the tube up through Old Street station, and the 200 yards between the station and the client's offices, was a painful half hour ordeal.
WTF
Why on earth would anyone who can run steal a crutch? They are free on the NHS FFS. Truly astounded.KITT said:
I can't believe someone nicked one of your crutches! WTF was he going to do with it I wonder?
I think he was trying to grab both of them, but missed one in his hurry. I've thought about potential uses - all I can come up with is:
1. Handy prop for begging
2. Handy weapon for mugging disabled people
BliarOut said:
But (here comes the punchline) public transport had the last laugh. Some bastard nicked one of my crutches on the tube on my way in. Grabbed it and ran like hell when the train stopped at Angel. As a result the walk from the tube up through Old Street station, and the 200 yards between the station and the client's offices, was a painful half hour ordeal.
WTF
'cos it's funny?
blindswelledrat said:
But (here comes the punchline) public transport had the last laugh. Some bastard nicked one of my crutches on the tube on my way in. Grabbed it and ran like hell when the train stopped at Angel. As a result the walk from the tube up through Old Street station, and the 200 yards between the station and the client's offices, was a painful half hour ordeal.
WTF
'cos it's funny?
Maybe he wanted to see if MAM would start going around in circles?
blindswelledrat said:
Mon Ami I like your posts.
However usually you do something heroic at the end.
Wheres the proper 'Mon Ami ending' to this???????????????????
Well...I have to go back to the client next week and I may have my cast off by then. If I wander outside Angel tube station and find a beggar with one crutch clearly marked "Royal United Hospital Bath", I'll probably do something that will really give the Islingtonites something to chatter over.
I can't wait. Your work is not yet done here.blindswelledrat said:
But (here comes the punchline) public transport had the last laugh. Some bastard nicked one of my crutches on the tube on my way in. Grabbed it and ran like hell when the train stopped at Angel. As a result the walk from the tube up through Old Street station, and the 200 yards between the station and the client's offices, was a painful half hour ordeal.
WTF
'cos it's funny?
axeman30 said:
I hate public transport.
Public transport is shit.
AH MAM you're missing the point, Public Transport has been decreed to be morally superior and therefore does not need to be fast/cheap/efficient/comfortable.
Obviously sorry about your leg, but unfair to dismiss ALL public transport as S**t,
you cannot generalise, my son often travels from Manchester to London on the "Mega" bus, operated by Stagecoach for £2 (yes £2 return),
............... Also totally unfair to rant at guy on the end of the phone, he is only doing his job and HE did not set the prices......
All (imo)....
>> Edited by Wacky Racer on Friday 9th December 12:09
Wacky Racer said:
I hate public transport.
Public transport is shit.
AH MAM you're missing the point, Public Transport has been decreed to be morally superior and therefore does not need to be fast/cheap/efficient/comfortable.
Obviously sorry about your leg, but unfair to dismiss ALL public transport as S**t,
Also totally unfair to rant at guy on the end of the phone, he is only doing his job and HE did not set the prices......
All (imo)....
>> Edited by Wacky Racer on Friday 9th December 12:09
It isn't just about price. If your son's bus goes from where he is, to where he needs to be, at a time which is convenient and is cost-effective, then fair enough. However, there is still the very real prospect that it won't appear when he needs it, that he won't get a seat, that he'll sit on chewing gum, that he'll sit next to people who decide that they want his wallet and phone and are prepared to do almost anything to get them or that it will get halfway there and then expire.
I didn't rant at the guy on the phone, I merely expressed my...disappointment at the service package he was attempting to sell.
It was actually cheaper to drive from darkest Worcestershire to Heathrow, park up for 2 weeks at Pink Elephant and drive back than use ANY form of public transport. That analysis included the options of using airport taxi transfer services even though, unlike Ken Livingstone, I don't really class taxis as public transport.
It was even cheaper to drive to a hotel the day before, dinner B&B in the hotel and then get the 2 weeks parking.
Then they wonder why we drive everywhere.
It was even cheaper to drive to a hotel the day before, dinner B&B in the hotel and then get the 2 weeks parking.
Then they wonder why we drive everywhere.
Mon Ami Mate - I sympathise with your plight, with both the public transport and the crutch stealing incident.
However, and I beg your forgiveness in advance, BUT - I am sitting here sniggering away to myself, at the thought of you sitting on a train and a scrote grabbing your crutch and running away with it!
More so at my perceived reaction on your part as being one of
<speechless> Eh?
However, and I beg your forgiveness in advance, BUT - I am sitting here sniggering away to myself, at the thought of you sitting on a train and a scrote grabbing your crutch and running away with it!
More so at my perceived reaction on your part as being one of
<speechless> Eh?
Mon Ami Mate said:
If you'd booked two weeks ago it would only have cost £68.70.
Ahh yes.....the railway systems now starting to charge like low cost airlines.
Mon Ami Mate said:
I hate public transport.
Public transport is shit.
Can't argue with you there. I need to get up to Sheffield (from Southampton) on the 19th and I considered going by train, due to mammoth congestion on the M1 last time I went up. Can I get there easily by train? Can I f
k! I need to be there by 10am and there's no way I can do it on the day if I took the train. Network Rail give you the option of either 3 train changes or 4, and charge you through the nose for the privilege of standing on a cold train platform, in the middle of nowhere, having no doubt missed your connecting train. 
It's worked out to be cheaper for me to drive up the night before and stay the night in a Premier Travel Inn - so that's what I'm doing. Also, gives the missus a chance to do a spot of Xmas shopping at Meadowhall and saves me getting up in the middle of the night to begin my drive
I think Jeremy Clarkson said after his Top Gear race to Monte Carlo in the DB9 - "Cars are better than public transport" (or something to that effect).
>> Edited by T5-R on Friday 9th December 12:30
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff