Happy Chavmas!
Discussion
>12 days of Chavmas...
>
>On the 1st day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, a pikey in
>Burberry.
>
>On the 2nd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 3rd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, three navel
>studs,
>two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 4th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, four stolen
>phones,
>three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 5th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, fiiiveee
>gooolldd
>riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 6th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, six teens
>a-laying,
>fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs,
>two
>tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 7th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, seven scallies
>stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four
>stolen
>phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in
>Burberry.
>
>On the 8th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eight midriffs
>showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
>gooolldd
>riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 9th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, nine ladies
>drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six
>teens
>a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three
>navel
>studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 10th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, ten lads
>joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven
>scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs,
>four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a
>pikey
>in Burberry.
>
>On the 11th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eleven prammers
>pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs
>showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
>gooolldd
>riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 12th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, twelve chavvers
>chavving, eleven prammers pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies
>drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six
>teens
>a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three
>navel
>studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry
>
>
>Chav nativity...
>
>There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
>
>She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe,
>innit?
>He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn
>Nazaref.
>
>One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
>
>Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
>
>Mary's totally gobsmacked.
>
>She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
>Kappa-slapper.
>I
>never bin wiv no one!'
>
>So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
>Liz
>is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'
>that.
>
>She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
>reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
>are
>gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
>
>Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an'
>go
>dahn Bethlehem on that.
>
>They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her
>bay-bee
>an'
>that.
>
>But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
>enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an'
>sheep
>an' that.
>
>Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns
>on
>their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
>wise
>men from the East End.
>
>Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein
>an'
>myrrh?
>
>Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to
>kick
>off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message
>from
>this Lord geezer.
>
>He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's aafe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
APPY CRIMBO
>
>On the 1st day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, a pikey in
>Burberry.
>
>On the 2nd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 3rd day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, three navel
>studs,
>two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 4th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, four stolen
>phones,
>three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 5th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, fiiiveee
>gooolldd
>riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 6th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, six teens
>a-laying,
>fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs,
>two
>tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 7th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, seven scallies
>stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four
>stolen
>phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in
>Burberry.
>
>On the 8th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eight midriffs
>showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
>gooolldd
>riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 9th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, nine ladies
>drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six
>teens
>a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three
>navel
>studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 10th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, ten lads
>joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven
>scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs,
>four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit tops and a
>pikey
>in Burberry.
>
>On the 11th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, eleven prammers
>pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies drinking, eight midriffs
>showing, seven scallies stealing, six teens a-laying, fiiiveee
>gooolldd
>riinngggs, four stolen phones, three navel studs, two tracksuit
>tops
>and a pikey in Burberry.
>
>On the 12th day of Chavmas my true love sent to me, twelve chavvers
>chavving, eleven prammers pushing, ten lads joy-riding, nine ladies
>drinking, eight midriffs showing, seven scallies stealing, six
>teens
>a-laying, fiiiveee gooolldd riinngggs, four stolen phones, three
>navel
>studs, two tracksuit tops and a pikey in Burberry
>
>
>Chav nativity...
>
>There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
>
>She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe,
>innit?
>He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn
>Nazaref.
>
>One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
>
>Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
>
>Mary's totally gobsmacked.
>
>She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
>Kappa-slapper.
>I
>never bin wiv no one!'
>
>So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
>Liz
>is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'
>that.
>
>She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
>reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we
>are
>gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
>
>Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an'
>go
>dahn Bethlehem on that.
>
>They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her
>bay-bee
>an'
>that.
>
>But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an'
>enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an'
>sheep
>an' that.
>
>Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns
>on
>their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're
>wise
>men from the East End.
>
>Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein
>an'
>myrrh?
>
>Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to
>kick
>off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message
>from
>this Lord geezer.
>
>He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's aafe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
APPY CRIMBO
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