Satisfying put downs.
Discussion
Maroon5 said:
OK.... I'm expecting a phone call in about 1/2 hour from my soon to be ex, admitting that he has been two-timing (possibly even three-timing) me. Obviously I'm a little upset at this and need some really satifying put-downs in advance.... help
So. You want advice on pithy, bitchy hurtful things to say?
Rise above this. If he's been cheating on you he's scum (or has acted in a truly scummy way) and winding yourself up to say horrid things to him is going to hurt you a good deal more than anything you say is going to hurt him.
If you really want to heap the coals, though, I suggest telling him in a quiet, authoritative voice that you are "very, very disappointed". If he's any kind of man he'll be cut to the quick that he's let you down. If he doesn't care then you really, really are better off without him, anyway.
Good luck. Sorry to hear of your troubles.
A friend of mine was informed by his ex (shortly after she became the ex) that he should be tested for Chylamidia and another STD with no symptoms.
The test involved the insertion of a metal spatula into a place where a man should never have a metal spatula inserted... (of course I'm of the opinion there is NOWHERE said spatula should be inserted, but hey maybe thats just me, apparently it was very popular in post-war German brothels...)
Ordinarily very unpleasant, but in this case the nurse slipped and scratched him... erm... internally...
His ex was rather satisfied with this evil form of revenge, especially when she told him afterwards that she didnt have either of them.
The other possible disrable side effect is that he may have to tell anyone else hes been in rather close contact with recently. Meaning his popularity will take a rather sudden dive with one or two women...
Its truly evil, but I'm sure the judgement as to whether he deserves it is yours!
The test involved the insertion of a metal spatula into a place where a man should never have a metal spatula inserted... (of course I'm of the opinion there is NOWHERE said spatula should be inserted, but hey maybe thats just me, apparently it was very popular in post-war German brothels...)
Ordinarily very unpleasant, but in this case the nurse slipped and scratched him... erm... internally...
His ex was rather satisfied with this evil form of revenge, especially when she told him afterwards that she didnt have either of them.
The other possible disrable side effect is that he may have to tell anyone else hes been in rather close contact with recently. Meaning his popularity will take a rather sudden dive with one or two women...
Its truly evil, but I'm sure the judgement as to whether he deserves it is yours!
Don said:
If you really want to heap the coals, though, I suggest telling him in a quiet, authoritative voice that you are "very, very disappointed". If he's any kind of man he'll be cut to the quick that he's let you down. If he doesn't care then you really, really are better off without him, anyway.
That was definitely on this list of things to say
If it was me i would listen then say "oh well not much more to say then",dismiss him and move on,he doesnt sound like he's worth it.
Or if you want to play games
When you pick the phone up say Hi John,thats assuming thats not your 'soon to be ex's' name,then when he asks sorry what did you say ,just reply"Oh nothing,i was expecting a call from someone else".
Now that will put him of his stroke and either,
a/Inflame the situation.
or b/ he will be so inquisitive he will be eating from the palm of your hand.
Then just say "look ,ive got to go ime going out tonight",bye!
For best effect stay calm.
Or if you want to play games
When you pick the phone up say Hi John,thats assuming thats not your 'soon to be ex's' name,then when he asks sorry what did you say ,just reply"Oh nothing,i was expecting a call from someone else".
Now that will put him of his stroke and either,
a/Inflame the situation.
or b/ he will be so inquisitive he will be eating from the palm of your hand.
Then just say "look ,ive got to go ime going out tonight",bye!
For best effect stay calm.
yup,
easiest option is to act like all is in past and you have nothing fr them, no anger, hate, love or anything dissapointment at the most, but only in the same way you would be dissapointed it was raining on the last day of the holiday in the sun just as you are getting onto the coach.
he is past history and very much in the distance, so need to allow him nothing more and not give him any stroking of his ego, all done with that now,
easiest option is to act like all is in past and you have nothing fr them, no anger, hate, love or anything dissapointment at the most, but only in the same way you would be dissapointed it was raining on the last day of the holiday in the sun just as you are getting onto the coach.
he is past history and very much in the distance, so need to allow him nothing more and not give him any stroking of his ego, all done with that now,
Maroon5 said:
OK.... I'm expecting a phone call in about 1/2 hour from my soon to be ex, admitting that he has been two-timing (possibly even three-timing) me. Obviously I'm a little upset at this
Are you fit?
If you are then forget him... you can do better, though screaming at him to do it harder next time you have a bloke will help him remain focussed
If not fit, hang on to him as hes all your gonna get :-)
rich1231 said:
Are you fit?
If you are then forget him... you can do better, though screaming at him to do it harder next time you have a bloke will help him remain focussed
Shouldn't be too much of a problem... it's keeping them that I have the problem with 
Ho hum... you live and learn.Maroon5 said:
Are you fit?
If you are then forget him... you can do better, though screaming at him to do it harder next time you have a bloke will help him remain focussed
Why? do your bits smell?
Tell him thast you have banged all his friends and of all of them, his was the least impressive performance. Unless of course you really have done it.. In which case tell him that the other girl is a post-op tranny and her name was Paul before the "Change".
Maroon5 said:
Are you fit?
If you are then forget him... you can do better, though screaming at him to do it harder next time you have a bloke will help him remain focussed
Go have yourself some fun!,"live" and "once" spring to mind.
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