How drunk would you have to be?
How drunk would you have to be?
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shaw-cross shark

Original Poster:

4,292 posts

264 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
Shamelessly cut and pasted extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness"

I think he may have got mixed up when somebody asked if he wanted to go dogging:D

jazzgirl

82 posts

252 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
shaw-cross shark said:
"The dog pulled my trousers down."

Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness"

I think he may have got mixed up when somebody asked if he wanted to go dogging


ROTFLMAO

cotty

42,248 posts

314 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
think it was done a few days ago

waynester

6,531 posts

280 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
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Not sure whether to or


2nd thoughts........

wiggy001

7,376 posts

301 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
I'm sorry, and I'm sure the witnesses to this were not amused at all, but this is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

The judge's statement just finishes it off perfectly...

raf dug

3,515 posts

284 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
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He's going to be popular in the showers in prison.

gasblaster

27,584 posts

309 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
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Black Jesus, you are a comin' praise be.

cotty

42,248 posts

314 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
Trying to find something about this on Snopes I fount this

"The photographic image of a topless woman can be spotted in the background of The Rescuers. "

and its true, but I dont remember seeing them when i watched it as a kid
www.snopes.com/disney/films/rescuers.htm#zoom


Hilts

4,684 posts

312 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
Wasn't there some news story from the states a while back where a police patrol caught some geezer banging the shit out of a pumpkin in a field.

When they stopped him he said "F### me, is it midnight already ?"

Mrs BOOST EM

4,100 posts

252 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
shaw-cross shark said:
"Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway.


Class sum up!! Dirty b*stard

r988

7,496 posts

259 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
gasblaster said:
Black Jesus, you are a comin' praise be.


ZR1cliff

17,999 posts

279 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
cotty said:
think it was done a few days ago


Think it was last friday,still think Roger the goat took the biscuit,i chuckle when i think of it

hugoagogo

23,437 posts

263 months

Tuesday 1st November 2005
quotequote all
done before, and it's still not real