women are from venus
Discussion
i never thought i'd post a personal problem on PH, but i've long admired the interesting advice (sometimes eyebrow-raising) you guys and girls come up with, so here it is...
i've been friends with a girl since spring, and though i have expressed how fond i am of her, we are still just friends, though in my heart i really really fancy her madly. she seems to get alot of male attention but is quite content being single, or so she says...
we go dancing alot in the same places and whenever we bump into each other, there is definitely an attraction. we chat and glance at each over, checking to see who else i am talking to (especially girls) to the extent i won't even talk to another girl when she's about.
i think she has money problems and spents most of her time (especially weekend) doing freelance work (graphic design). i'm just at a loss what to do to 'woo' her... maybe she doesn't fancy me, and i'm too scared to ask her out directly cos i don't want to lose her as a friend. and erm, it's really pants that the bloke has to do all the running around...
I've had a very similar proble to you in the past.
See how it goes, but always think that it's probably not going to work out. IN this respect, you'll be slightly less hurt should it not work out.
It's always good to know where you stand - you could still be in the same position in a years time. Though I admit, it can be hard to approach this kind of topic with someone if you're unsure as to how they feel.
See how it goes, but always think that it's probably not going to work out. IN this respect, you'll be slightly less hurt should it not work out.
It's always good to know where you stand - you could still be in the same position in a years time. Though I admit, it can be hard to approach this kind of topic with someone if you're unsure as to how they feel.
fido said:
1) i have expressed how fond i am of her,
2) i won't even talk to another girl when she's about.
What was her response to 1) ? - if it was "I'm happy single" .... probably a gentle let down
re 2) - could make you look a bit "over keen / hung up on her " .
Women generally like confident men who are direct - who make their move fairly quickly/ make their intentions and desires clear soon after you first meet them ......they like to know where they stand with you and whether or not you fancy them ..... waiting for months to make a move can make you look dithery and a bit limp ..... they will often assume you are not interested.
So ... even though you've known her a while ..... ask her out for a drink , be bold and tell her you fancy her ........ bit of a risk but what have you got to lose ?
>> Edited by alfaman on Sunday 30th October 14:16
If you're really good friends you should be able to tell her you fancy the pants off her without scaring her off to far. I guess you'd say it in jest when having had a few drinks and in a relaxed atmosphere. Be light about it and don't trap her. You don't have to be to serious when you say it but it ought to get her thinking. Then if she's interested she'll let you know. Maybe not right then. Once you've put the thought her way there's no point in pressing the issue, just flirt occassionally (or all the time if she's likes it)and stay best mates.
The other thing here is chemistry, which means it's a stirring in yer loins, lol. So it's maybe a physical encounter now or a long term friendship. I'd take the friendship if she's really yer mate
so don't push her to hard.
Boosted.
The other thing here is chemistry, which means it's a stirring in yer loins, lol. So it's maybe a physical encounter now or a long term friendship. I'd take the friendship if she's really yer mate
so don't push her to hard. Boosted.
alfaman said:
Women generally like confident men who are direct - who make their move fairly quickly/ make their intentions and desires clear soon after you first meet them ......they like to know where they stand with you and whether or not you fancy them ..... waiting for months to make a move can make you look dithery and a bit limp ..... they will often assume you are not interested.
This is so true. Me and my single friends hate the fact that we have to ask guys out because if we had to wait for them to do so we'd be waiting forever.
It is interesting to note the different attitudes of other nationalities. I was washing my car yesterday outside the house and a man who wasn't from around these parts was so direct I ended up laughing
I had to admire his style though, and I am sure he is usually a big hit with the laydeez.Boosted Ls1 said:
If you're really good friends you should be able to tell her you fancy the pants off her without scaring her off to far. I guess you'd say it in jest when having had a few drinks and in a relaxed atmosphere.
Just make sure that you're not too pissed when you do it though as she'll think it is the beer talking
Boosted Ls1 said:
The other thing here is chemistry, which means it's a stirring in yer loins, lol.
Boosted Ls1 said:
So it's maybe a physical encounter...so don't push her to hard.
Boosted.
EmmaP said:
Women generally like confident men who are direct - who make their move fairly quickly/ make their intentions and desires clear soon after you first meet them ......they like to know where they stand with you and whether or not you fancy them ..... waiting for months to make a move can make you look dithery and a bit limp ..... they will often assume you are not interested.
This is so true. Me and my single friends hate the fact that we have to ask guys out because if we had to wait for them to do so we'd be waiting forever.
It is interesting to note the different attitudes of other nationalities. I was washing my car yesterday outside the house and a man who wasn't from around these parts was so direct I ended up laughing
The champagne is in the fridge ..... you popping round then ?
Oh, women definately come in two types! Well from my limited experience they do.
There are lady's and you have to move on them else they won't do anything and non lady's of the sort that go out binging who will happily move on you I'd run fast from one of them
I prefer the lady's but it's hard to be a gentleman and ask for a shag! No wonder blokes take up fishing, gardening and masterbation but not in that order.
Boosted.
There are lady's and you have to move on them else they won't do anything and non lady's of the sort that go out binging who will happily move on you
I'd run fast from one of them I prefer the lady's
but it's hard to be a gentleman and ask for a shag! No wonder blokes take up fishing, gardening and masterbation but not in that order. Boosted.
Fido said
"we go dancing alot in the same places and whenever we bump into each other, there is definitely an attraction. we chat and glance at each over, checking to see who else i am talking to (especially girls) to the extent i won't even talk to another girl when she's about".
Have you ever actually danced with her? That's a big indicator.
Boosted.
"we go dancing alot in the same places and whenever we bump into each other, there is definitely an attraction. we chat and glance at each over, checking to see who else i am talking to (especially girls) to the extent i won't even talk to another girl when she's about".
Have you ever actually danced with her? That's a big indicator.
Boosted.
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