For God's sake stop them!
Discussion
Matthew-TMM said:
Erm, why does that irritate you at all?
Because it is so utterly, butt clenchingly, cringeworthy.
A bunch of late middle aged bank managers and accountants skipping about, waving hankies at each other and pratting about with sticks.
It would be worse than in the Germans did the Olympics and included an Oompah band full of sweaty fat men in leather shorts in the opening ceremony.
No, TMM stands for Trojan Mini-Motor. www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~pattle/nacc/arc0119.htm I have one, although about half the parts are missing, and it needs a new cylinder and piston (previously bored out +0.040" and now worn to about 1mm of slop in the bore).
968 said:
anonymous said:[redacted]
But alex, surely this is a prime example of english culture, that we should be proud of?![]()
No this is the part we should keep entirely to ourselves and keep firmly in the national closet. I can only wonder what might have happened to the bid if the Olympic Committee had known about Morris Dancing a year ago...
>> Edited by alexkp on Tuesday 18th October 09:07
I can empathise with his lordship to some degree but one cannot escape the effete nature of this all but extinct tradition. It's connotations are inescapably iffy.
Far better to have one of the nation's great thespians, in the garb of Wellington, standing tall astride a mound of ceremonially dead Frenchmen and a map of the world coloured red to illustrate the former extent of empire, the implication being of course, just how much better everything would be if we still ruled it.
He could be swarmed on all sides by various brigades of the army acting out little scraps and you could have Lewis Collins permanently jogging around the perimeter track, machine gun clenched to his midriff, shirt wings a-flapping, chest-a-thrusting and the utterly sublime theme music from The Professionals ringing out round the stadium whilst as a finale, the SAS could come swinging in via chopper, sten guns coughing death whilst suavely besuited Bondesque Johnnies from MI6 took out the Iranian team.
As a crescendo, Land of Hope & Glory could fire up and with the mob suitably frenzified, you could have Motorhead rise up in the middle to finish off the starddlers with an impromptu dash of The Ace of Spades.
Seb Coe & friends have an awful lot to learn about event orgs, let me tell you but with communism all around, it'll never be more than a weak capitulative nod to the gonad free zone of dread Livingstoninium.
>> Edited by derestrictor on Tuesday 18th October 08:43
Far better to have one of the nation's great thespians, in the garb of Wellington, standing tall astride a mound of ceremonially dead Frenchmen and a map of the world coloured red to illustrate the former extent of empire, the implication being of course, just how much better everything would be if we still ruled it.
He could be swarmed on all sides by various brigades of the army acting out little scraps and you could have Lewis Collins permanently jogging around the perimeter track, machine gun clenched to his midriff, shirt wings a-flapping, chest-a-thrusting and the utterly sublime theme music from The Professionals ringing out round the stadium whilst as a finale, the SAS could come swinging in via chopper, sten guns coughing death whilst suavely besuited Bondesque Johnnies from MI6 took out the Iranian team.
As a crescendo, Land of Hope & Glory could fire up and with the mob suitably frenzified, you could have Motorhead rise up in the middle to finish off the starddlers with an impromptu dash of The Ace of Spades.
Seb Coe & friends have an awful lot to learn about event orgs, let me tell you but with communism all around, it'll never be more than a weak capitulative nod to the gonad free zone of dread Livingstoninium.
>> Edited by derestrictor on Tuesday 18th October 08:43
derestrictor said:
Far better to have one of the nation's great thespians, in the garb of Wellington, standing tall astride a mound of ceremonially dead Frenchmen and a map of the world coloured red to illustrate the former extent of empire, the implication being of course, just how much better everything would be if we still ruled it.
That's the olympic spirit all right Derestrictor
>> Edited by JagLover on Tuesday 18th October 09:22
Some excellent suggestions there Derestrictor.
I think I would also add The Battle Of Britain Flypast, while Monty's caravan (on loan from the Imperial War Museum) is paraded around the stadium, followed by a re-enactment of the landings at Normandy with massive screens showing the craven capitulation of France, the Vichy Government, and the classic footage of Hitler riding in an open top car through Paris.
As a finale, may I suggest the timeless dam bursting sequence from the film "Dambusters" along with some digitally restored footage of the bombing of Berlin.
I am sure that few would ever be able to forget such a spectacular and moving opening ceremony.
I think I would also add The Battle Of Britain Flypast, while Monty's caravan (on loan from the Imperial War Museum) is paraded around the stadium, followed by a re-enactment of the landings at Normandy with massive screens showing the craven capitulation of France, the Vichy Government, and the classic footage of Hitler riding in an open top car through Paris.
As a finale, may I suggest the timeless dam bursting sequence from the film "Dambusters" along with some digitally restored footage of the bombing of Berlin.
I am sure that few would ever be able to forget such a spectacular and moving opening ceremony.
In which case, we should celebrate our current society.
Put some crappy Metro in the middle of a mock car park in the arena and get some chavs to run into the stadium, break in to the Metro and then attempt to do crappy donuts in the car.
Just as they think they get away with it, get a panda car into the arena and have a mock police chase around the track.
Chavs then crash the Metro into the only solid item in the whole arena trying to out manouver the cops and then have one of the them (maybe the driver), run away while the other is savagely beaten by the cops with their truncheons while a Police Dog Unit chases after the escapee.
I think that depicts our society much better than Morris Dancing.

Put some crappy Metro in the middle of a mock car park in the arena and get some chavs to run into the stadium, break in to the Metro and then attempt to do crappy donuts in the car.
Just as they think they get away with it, get a panda car into the arena and have a mock police chase around the track.
Chavs then crash the Metro into the only solid item in the whole arena trying to out manouver the cops and then have one of the them (maybe the driver), run away while the other is savagely beaten by the cops with their truncheons while a Police Dog Unit chases after the escapee.
I think that depicts our society much better than Morris Dancing.

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