If there's grass on the wicket...
If there's grass on the wicket...
Author
Discussion

UKBob

Original Poster:

16,277 posts

295 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
You probably shouldnt eat it, we all know grass isnt very nutrictiou... nutricio... its just not healthy.

Scenario: The world comes to an end right after you get out of the bath, half your house caves in and when the bath tips it catapults you outside where you land naked on the ground watching all the buildings around you crumble into nothingness, killing everyone.

Do you have any survival skills or enough knowlege of english countryside to stay alive? I had seaweed for breakfast (chinese leftovers) and it occured to me that one might be able to live on seaweed from the sea (no one in the UK is more than 51 miles from the ocean) and fresh water from streams. Im no survival expert, but Im sure I could survive for a few years without any beer, living off the land.

Plotloss

67,280 posts

300 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
Other than the fact that chinese seaweed is finely chopped cabbage I think you could be onto something here Bob...

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
Bob, I do sometimes wonder if the medication your taking is still not in the experimental stages!

dick dastardly

8,326 posts

293 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
I read somewhere (prob on here) that beer contains all the nutrients you need to survive, so I'd just concentrate all my effort into starting up a little brewery.

krusty

2,473 posts

279 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
I opened this thinking it was Vixpy1's guide to women

cotty

42,244 posts

314 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
Plotloss said:
Other than the fact that chinese seaweed is finely chopped cabbage I think you could be onto something here Bob...


You can actually eat seaweed or is it kelp im not sure

Plotloss

67,280 posts

300 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
I know you can eat seaweed - I'm welsh - lava bread but seaweed at the chinese is finely chopped cabbage...

UKBob

Original Poster:

16,277 posts

295 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
Seaweed is supposed to be incredibly healthy. My father once carted back a stinking bootload of the stuff, and dug it into the ground under a fruit tree in my grandmothers garden. Branches of the tree broke when the fruit ripened, it was so big and plentiful.

cotty

42,244 posts

314 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
UKBob said:
it occured to me that one might be able to live on seaweed from the sea (no one in the UK is more than 51 miles from the ocean) and fresh water from streams.


www.bbc.co.uk/devon/discovering/taste/laver.shtml

BliarOut

72,863 posts

269 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
Yup, you can defo eat kelp... very good for you, but it does make your farts 'hum' a little

tampon

4,637 posts

255 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
krusty said:
I opened this thinking it was Vixpy1's guide to women


I thought is was about questionability of some young womens age, I was in her like a flash ( I mean here, I was in here like a flash).

I could live off the land no problems, very sad man, love Ray mears and all of that, been on many courses, made fire with sticks etc, go to see ladies mum in dorset and always make shelters for the nextdoors kids to play with in the woods( not practising the skills purely for the kids you understand ).

Just read what i put and the first statement with its joke and the last one about the kids in the wood make me a a1 bonafide nonce.

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
tampon said:

I could live off the land no problems


Remember to always play the back 9 holes first, and never play a waterlogged green..








No, hang on, thats wrong..

Tank Slapper

7,949 posts

313 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
tampon said:

I thought is was about questionability of some young womens age, I was in her like a flash


Made worse by your nickname

UKBob

Original Poster:

16,277 posts

295 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
I hadnt heard the "If there's grass on the wicket" line till Vixpy(?) mentioned it last month

Im sure medically speaking, its impossible to survive on grass. We used to eat it at school. We also ate ants. Im not sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

Ive never eaten kelp, but Ive gone under cover of darkness at night, trying to steal some's kelp in baboon and snake infested mountains (outdoor stealth game, dont ask)

blanc

221 posts

269 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
Do you mean all the buildings?




Even the pub?

>> Edited by blanc on Wednesday 28th September 14:35

wedg1e

27,038 posts

295 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
I thought humans lack a particular gland that produces stuff to break down the cellulose(?) in grass; something to do with the reason cows have three stomachs...

I must admit I've amused myself a few times by looing round at Joe Public and wondering just how many would cope if we had a huge natural (or man-made) disaster here in Blighty.
Millions of them would do the equivalent of sitting in front of a blank TV screen and wondering where the next Pot Noodle was coming from...

RossMac

856 posts

271 months

Wednesday 28th September 2005
quotequote all
UKBob said:
..... and dug it into the ground under a fruit tree in my grandmothers garden. Branches of the tree broke when the fruit ripened, it was so big and plentiful.


Hint here, don't eat the horrible stuff or your arms will drop off but have great plums