Chilli peppers, my nuts and a painful mistake......
Discussion
Be warned.
Last night we had a dinner party, the main course was Thai stirfry involving the use of chopped chillis, hot ones.
Ever helpful when the Mrs asked for kitchen assistance in the form of some chilli chopping I happily obliged. Having chopped said chillis I rinced my hands under the cold tap.
We were very busy and I thought nothing of it when I nipped for a pee, guests about 1/2 hour away from arriving at this point.
So, as I am concluding business, I start to notice my todger feeling a bit burny, tssssk I thought to myself the chillis ( at this point I was more amused than worried), and popped the chap back in my trousers...... as I left the bathroom it really started to hurt, I mean stabbing pain, my whole todger felt like the skin was being peeled off it, it spread down to my nut sack too, absolute fire. Not funny at all.
I rushed back into the bathroon leaving the door open, ripped my trousers down, popped my todger and nut sack over the edge of the sink, legs akimbo and started running cold water over the whole lot.
Que the Mrs coming up the stairs, quote "Tim what the f*ck are you doing, xyz will be hear in 5 mins" I explained the pain I was in, the serious damage I had done to myself etc.
And like a good woman............ she rolls round on the floor p*ssing herself laughing, charming.
Application of an ice pack, and neurofen made things just about bearable during the rest of the evening. But it's still all a bit tender down there. So be warned gents, if you're chopping hot chillis a simple water rinse isn't enough! It hurt like f*ck I can tell you.
Last night we had a dinner party, the main course was Thai stirfry involving the use of chopped chillis, hot ones.
Ever helpful when the Mrs asked for kitchen assistance in the form of some chilli chopping I happily obliged. Having chopped said chillis I rinced my hands under the cold tap.
We were very busy and I thought nothing of it when I nipped for a pee, guests about 1/2 hour away from arriving at this point.
So, as I am concluding business, I start to notice my todger feeling a bit burny, tssssk I thought to myself the chillis ( at this point I was more amused than worried), and popped the chap back in my trousers...... as I left the bathroom it really started to hurt, I mean stabbing pain, my whole todger felt like the skin was being peeled off it, it spread down to my nut sack too, absolute fire. Not funny at all.
I rushed back into the bathroon leaving the door open, ripped my trousers down, popped my todger and nut sack over the edge of the sink, legs akimbo and started running cold water over the whole lot.
Que the Mrs coming up the stairs, quote "Tim what the f*ck are you doing, xyz will be hear in 5 mins" I explained the pain I was in, the serious damage I had done to myself etc.
And like a good woman............ she rolls round on the floor p*ssing herself laughing, charming.
Application of an ice pack, and neurofen made things just about bearable during the rest of the evening. But it's still all a bit tender down there. So be warned gents, if you're chopping hot chillis a simple water rinse isn't enough! It hurt like f*ck I can tell you.
TeamD said:
And like a good woman............ she rolls round on the floor p*ssing herself laughing, charming.
Quick give her a quick fiddle while she's distracted, that'll focus her mind!
done that, got the t-shirt.......... and the black eye.
Not good to "feed the pony" after chopping chillies!!
tycho said:
timmy30 said:
And like a good woman............ she rolls round on the floor p*ssing herself laughing, charming.
Quick give her a quick fiddle while she's distracted, that'll focus her mind!
done that, got the t-shirt.......... and the black eye.
Not good to "feed the pony" after chopping chillies!!
I'm not suprised! I don't know if these were massively more hot chillis than normal ones, but jesus christ, honestly I feel like Iv'e been flayed.
How it got from my todger onto my nutsack I'm not sure. I'm telling you if ever they need a cheap and cheerful method of torture this is it.
timmy30 said:
as I left the bathroom it really started to hurt, I mean stabbing pain, my whole todger felt like the skin was being peeled off it, it spread down to my nut sack too, absolute fire. Not funny at all.
I have some chilli sauce that warns not to get it on your skin as it will burn you. And I mean proper burn you.
cotty said:
timmy30 said:
as I left the bathroom it really started to hurt, I mean stabbing pain, my whole todger felt like the skin was being peeled off it, it spread down to my nut sack too, absolute fire. Not funny at all.
I have some chilli sauce that warns not to get it on your skin as it will burn you. And I mean proper burn you.
this didn't just feel hot ( say like deep heat ) it was like having the skin peeled off 
>> Edited by timmy30 on Monday 12th September 16:38
cotty said:
as I left the bathroom it really started to hurt, I mean stabbing pain, my whole todger felt like the skin was being peeled off it, it spread down to my nut sack too, absolute fire. Not funny at all.
I have some chilli sauce that warns not to get it on your skin as it will burn you. And I mean proper burn you.
Is that Dave's insanity sauce?
That stuff tells you to keep off varnished surfaces as it'll strip them!!!!
That reminds me of an incident involving a mate of mine: One night after a good drinking session, he starts getting 'down to it' with a lady friend of his.
The light is off so he feels around on the bedside table and grabs some 'baby oil'.
He splashes a good dollop over his partner's wet bits and procedes to start the business. A few seconds later, cue screaming and load shouts of "shit, f%4k", etc.
He turns the light on and inspects the 'lube' to find the label reads "Nail varnish remover".
That was 10 years ago; we still talk about it now.
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